mmKay

Game equivalent for women. How to make a guy stay?

121 posts in this topic

Posted (edited)

The challenges of mating are asymmetrical for men and women.

Guys struggle is to get laid, women can get laid easily.

It's biologically easier for a guy to make a woman stay after sex ( from an evolutionary PoV, she has your seed in her , and wants you around to raise the child)

But for women the challenge is to make the guy stick around after sex

 

I deeply contemplated the nature of male attraction triggers in women in a different thread and this is a question I'm curious to contemplate.

 

Most likely there is little to do unless a guy really chooses you willingly due to chemistry and attraction for your looks, but we can still consider what works or what doesn't work


The first thing that comes to mind is ... Be hot ( described in that thread )

But on a more practical level:

Looks play a crucial role. Don't let yourself go, and stay looking as sharp as possible. Looks are a priority for men. Don't listen to critiques like " i don't need you to weak make up or dress cute etc". Even if the conscious words don't mean harm, mens attraction is driven by instincts.

Maybe you don't doll up every day, but definitely do it here and there to remind him you get attention

 

But maybe you don't have that level of looks, maybe you can have a different lane. Is that even possible?

 

I think this will be a fruitful conversation. Try to put at least a little thought into your answers 

Edited by mmKay

🗣️🗯️  personal dev Log Lyfe Journal 🗿🎭 ~ Raw , Emotional, Unfiltered

 

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Posted (edited)

I have a clarification that game is not about making someone stay. Its about you displaying her who you are with yourself,so they can choose if they want to stay or not.Nobody with game thinks what should i do to make him/her stay thats exatly a mindset that will make them go away...

Edited by NoSelfSelf

Who teaches us whats real and how to laugh at lies? Who decides why we live and what we'll die to defend?Who chain us? And who holds the Key that can set us free? 

It's you.

You have all the weapons you need 

Now fight.

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If he’s ready to settle down, wants a family, likes you enough, he’ll stay 

 

if he’s just there for the sex, nothing will make him stay.

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Posted (edited)

As a man that is quite emotional, let me be as blatant as possible. 

If I were a billionaire, 10/10 in looks, and battle-tested my social and pick-up skills to world-class levels.

If I kept anyone around, it would, might end up being in a type of polygynous relationship. Where I'd give my core women all the time and love they deserve, and she would share companionship with them, for my romantic and my bonding needs with females. But, also I'd from time to time whenever I feel like it, to hire a sugar baby from elite agencies.

Yes, I'd keep the person around. But it would not be fully monogamous, per say.

It's about what are my options. And how painfully she can "control me": Emotionally bonding, feeling bad if I lost her, etc.

Monogamy would only come because she is so much better than any other women from that inner circle of women that I consider having as close as possible to me.

Hell, it could be a woman is so absolutely amazing at making sex with me and absolutely lovely in her nurturing ways to me, that I would see adding an extra woman to that core a mental distraction from connecting with her deeper and deeper.

But of course, sometimes I might feel bored, or the logistics suck: I'm travelling around the world and she is simply not around (she doesn't live at 30 minutes of distance to come to me), another women that I'll have sex with, and start bonding with me if she is able to display those nurturing qualities during sex.

As a man, in practice, I think that it's just as difficult, I don't know. It depends on the options he has, the wealth, his self-control, his emotional needs, the logistics.

Maybe I'd be so focused at my business/life purpose that just the women that aligns with all of my life purpose well, and keeps just becoming irreplaceable, and she doesn't feel cool with non-monogamy... It would be too painful emotionally to let her down.

But also things change, and she would age, etc.

I'd keep her around even after she has aged and isn't as attractive, but it wouldn't be monogamous if I'm that wealthy. That doesn't mean I'd give her as much of my time.

---

That's if I were the billionaire 10/10.

Myself right now: 5/10 looks, broke as fuck, no money for proper grooming and style, looking more like a 3/10 in the eyes of women - Although, in my schooling years I had 2 7/10s coming to me even looking broke like that, but most of them were 4-5/10s. I had no game back then. I was also actively blocking myself away from them.

I would be okay with a girl that has just enough looks (6.5/10) and would be energetically a match to me as a nurturing female presence in my life, and she is at walking distance. LOL. Hell, she simply doesn't have to slow me down in my life purpose/wealth.

I've seen multi-millionaires that kept the same girlfriend (7/10s) they had from before they turned ultrarich, and they kept them. But those dudes are grounded as heck, and they are the introverted type of people psychologically (like me), even if they develop high social skills.

But also, to people in general, a 4/10 to some might look like a 7/10 to others.

--- 

- DEFINITELY try to always be in your best doll up and clothing-wise style and add variety - the less attractive she is, the more she will need it. It's sexually exiting to me, it adds sexual variety to see her in different clothing, and I'd help her, even gift her clothing for my own sexual pleasure, if I have the resources. hehhe.

- For me personally, SHE CAN compensate with her style and make up, it will improve HER that doesn't mean a 5/10 can doll up to an 8/10 to me if her face isn't my type, but she can work on her body as well on the gym and not be too fat.

- Know how to create sexual tension push-and-pull, know how to be a tease. Probably sleeping at night at different beds would help it. Not seeing her naked all the time when not doing anything sexual (so that when I do, I wouldn't be as desensitized).

- Know how to be present with me but not talk about topics that are will deviate my mind from my current specific technical and spiritual struggles,

- Know how to give me space. If I'm high-quality, it means I'm focused as heck. And she is that nurturing energy I go to after I'm finished for the day/week, or I feel burned out. Help me stay focused, don't detract me from it.

Edited by Lucasxp64

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Posted (edited)

12 hours ago, mmKay said:

Looks play a crucial role. Don't let yourself go, and stay looking as sharp as possible. Looks are a priority for men. Don't listen to critiques like " i don't need you to weak make up or dress cute etc". Even if the conscious words don't mean harm, mens attraction is driven by instincts.

Here we go again, the denials. Most will deny this truth, because they think they're making this conscious decision and it may seem vain, but I've seen this time and time again and not just with initial attraction but even with wives or gfs. Most men will not leave the love of their lives nor break up with someone because they depreciated in their looks a bit or doesn't dress or look the part all the time etc, but they will seek that satisfaction elsewhere whether by porn, adult workers or cheating, whether it be in the mind through fantasies or the real deal. They just need that visual stimulii.

Edited by Princess Arabia

Unconditional love is all there is. 

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Men don't stay because of looks or any other specific quality for that matter. And if a woman tries to work to make a man stay, this isn't going to work. 

Also, a man who is interested in women mostly for looks will only look to "collect them all"... which makes him poor husband quality as he won't stay through the aging and the ups and downs of the cycles of life.

And to go through the motions of looking good to impress or please him only puts a woman in the masculine role of trying to "win" his affection which doesn't bode well for her. And she'll usually be doing these methods to keep the wrong man who isn't that into her.

So a woman should only doll herself up if it pleases her. And she should do this or that or the other thing that a man might find pleasing, only if it pleases her.

This keeps her in her Feminine energy when she lives her best life for her and her alone. And it has a side benefit of maximizing her magnetism.

In truth, a man will only stay if he loves you and wants you to be a constant in his life. If he doesn't love you, he won't stay. If he loves you, he will. 

And a woman should just be true to herself, so that she functions as a beacon to call in the right men that want to love you and repel the wrong men who won't.

And the only way to have a man stay is to repel and reject the wrong men while sending her authenticity out into the world to attract the right man. Only the right man will stay.

This is why men's #1 dating strategy is to attract. And women's #1 dating strategy is to select and reject.

When women try to use the masculine "attract" strategy, this only works to attract the wrong man and puts her in the Masculine role of trying to win him and please him.


If you’re interested in developing Emotional Mastery and feeling more comfortable in your own skin, click the link below to register for my FREE Emotional Mastery Webinar…

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1 hour ago, Emerald said:

Men don't stay because of looks or any other specific quality for that matter. And if a woman tries to work to make a man stay, this isn't going to work. 

Also, a man who is interested in women mostly for looks will only look to "collect them all"... which makes him poor husband quality as he won't stay through the aging and the ups and downs of the cycles of life.

And to go through the motions of looking good to impress or please him only puts a woman in the masculine role of trying to "win" his affection which doesn't bode well for her. And she'll usually be doing these methods to keep the wrong man who isn't that into her.

So a woman should only doll herself up if it pleases her. And she should do this or that or the other thing that a man might find pleasing, only if it pleases her.

This keeps her in her Feminine energy when she lives her best life for her and her alone. And it has a side benefit of maximizing her magnetism.

In truth, a man will only stay if he loves you and wants you to be a constant in his life. If he doesn't love you, he won't stay. If he loves you, he will. 

And a woman should just be true to herself, so that she functions as a beacon to call in the right men that want to love you and repel the wrong men who won't.

And the only way to have a man stay is to repel and reject the wrong men while sending her authenticity out into the world to attract the right man. Only the right man will stay.

This is why men's #1 dating strategy is to attract. And women's #1 dating strategy is to select and reject.

When women try to use the masculine "attract" strategy, this only works to attract the wrong man and puts her in the Masculine role of trying to win him and please him.

Spot on! Not that I knew this specifically, but from reading it, I noticed the dynamic from just observing and fitting the pieces of the puzzle together from dating advices, how men and women act, and from what I've noticed. This is why I would say women don't full on approach men and it is not recommended not because we're timid or think we're the shit, but for the reasons you stated. Plus I've noticed the type of guys who would stick around longer, who I was being at the time, how they responded and the difference with the ones who didn't or even changed once I started being the opposite. The dynamics you mentioned were exactly how it turned out to be. Brilliant.


Unconditional love is all there is. 

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12 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

Spot on! Not that I knew this specifically, but from reading it, I noticed the dynamic from just observing and fitting the pieces of the puzzle together from dating advices, how men and women act, and from what I've noticed. This is why I would say women don't full on approach men and it is not recommended not because we're timid or think we're the shit, but for the reasons you stated. Plus I've noticed the type of guys who would stick around longer, who I was being at the time, how they responded and the difference with the ones who didn't or even changed once I started being the opposite. The dynamics you mentioned were exactly how it turned out to be. Brilliant.

Thank you! I'm glad it resonated. :)


If you’re interested in developing Emotional Mastery and feeling more comfortable in your own skin, click the link below to register for my FREE Emotional Mastery Webinar…

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Why buy the cow if you get milk for free? 

Marriage protects women. You should look into that

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Posted (edited)

9 minutes ago, Twentyfirst said:

Why buy the cow if you get milk for free? 

Marriage protects women. You should look into that

Believe it or not, some men think it's less expensive to get married. They love women, always want more and if they're not married they have to keep spending money to get what they want so they marry to keep it simple or to not keep dishing out for dates, expenses, etc. I've heard them say it's cheaper to keep 'em. 

Edited by Princess Arabia

Unconditional love is all there is. 

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10 minutes ago, Twentyfirst said:

Why buy the cow if you get milk for free? 

Marriage protects women. You should look into that

None of this is relevant if you find a man who loves you and wants you in his life.

Doesn't matter if you have sex with him on the very first date... or if you wait until marriage. If he wants you, he wants you. And if he doesn't he doesn't.

And there's nothing you can do (or should do) to try to change his mind on the latter.

There's no strategy you can employ to make a man stay or value you... other than to choose the man that loves you and wants you in his life and to reject the men who don't love you and/or aren't that into you and are just keeping you around to avoid loneliness or for easy female companionship and sex.


If you’re interested in developing Emotional Mastery and feeling more comfortable in your own skin, click the link below to register for my FREE Emotional Mastery Webinar…

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6 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

Believe it or not, some men think it's less expensive to get married. They love women, always want more and if they're not married they have to keep spending money to get what they want so they marry to keep it simple or to not keep dishing out for dates, expenses, etc. I've heard them say it's cheaper to keep 'em. 

She asked how to keep a man though. Easiest way to keep him is to literally sign a contract for life, no?

Women are not gonna feel secure dating a man for 10 years without a ring. After even a few years they start dropping hints that they want to be proposed to and after 5 years they go baby crazy and pull their hair out 

Like I said marriage protects WOMEN

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2 minutes ago, Emerald said:

None of this is relevant if you find a man who loves you and wants you in his life.

Doesn't matter if you have sex with him on the very first date... or if you wait until marriage. If he wants you, he wants you. And if he doesn't he doesn't.

And there's nothing you can do (or should do) to try to change his mind on the latter.

There's no strategy you can employ to make a man stay or value you... other than to choose the man that loves you and wants you in his life and to reject the men who don't love you and/or aren't that into you and are just keeping you around to avoid loneliness or for easy female companionship and sex.

No there are right ways of doing things and wrong ways. Good proven strategies that actually work and foolish ideas that are hopeless and doomed for failure 

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Just now, Twentyfirst said:

No there are right ways of doing things and wrong ways. Good proven strategies that actually work and foolish ideas that are hopeless and doomed for failure 

Here's the thing. If you're a woman who is strategizing on how to keep a man... it's already a bad strategy from the jump.

Find a man who already loves you and wants to be with you that you feel the same way towards. And that's a good strategy for a lasting relationship.


If you’re interested in developing Emotional Mastery and feeling more comfortable in your own skin, click the link below to register for my FREE Emotional Mastery Webinar…

Emotionalmastery.org

 

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7 minutes ago, Emerald said:

Here's the thing. If you're a woman who is strategizing on how to keep a man... it's already a bad strategy from the jump.

Find a man who already loves you and wants to be with you that you feel the same way towards. And that's a good strategy for a lasting relationship.

Incentives matter A LOT

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Posted (edited)

22 minutes ago, Emerald said:

Here's the thing. If you're a woman who is strategizing on how to keep a man... it's already a bad strategy from the jump.

Find a man who already loves you and wants to be with you that you feel the same way towards. And that's a good strategy for a lasting relationship.

I think your talk here, and no disrespect to men, just keeping it real, only pertains to "real" masculine men. I noticed nothing I did or said would deter them away if they really wanted to be there, as you said and these types of men WILL NOT fall for the wrong type of woman. Bottomline. The incentive is already in her being, not something she has to do or prove. He feels he has to prove to her not the other way around. I stress, not every woman he will be like this with, only the one he TRULY wants and it doesn't take for her to do anything in particular. Maybe, not do, and he already deciphered that in his logical mind from the jump. These types of men know what they want from the beginning and it doesn't take any doing on the woman's part.

They are not players, simps, aggressive, timid not submissive, they are just men.

Edited by Princess Arabia

Unconditional love is all there is. 

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Just now, Twentyfirst said:

Incentives matter A LOT

The only incentive that makes a man want to stay with you is if he loves you and wants you in his life. A man who loves you will walk through the fire to be with you.

There is no other incentive that works to keep a man... not looks... not marriage... not giving him sex... not with-holding sex for a more opportune time... not cooking skills... not anything else. If he doesn't feel that way, he just doesn't feel that way. And you can't do anything to make him feel that way.

He either loves and wants you in his life or he doesn't. And there is no strategy for making him stay.

Just be the best version of yourself. And as a side effect, you will attract in the men that are compatible to you and who value you. And then reject all the ones you don't like... and reject all the ones who don't recognize your beauty/value... and reject all the ones who aren't available for a relationship.

Trying active attraction strategies is a masculine way of going about things and doesn't work for women. Instead women need more passive strategies around selecting the right man and rejecting the wrong men.

It's only when you reject the men that don't love you or value you in particular that you tune yourself in to a man who loves you in particular and wants to be with you in particular. That's a much better strategy for women.

And when you use this strategy, you don't have to use sex or marriage as a man-trapping strategy because there is no need to. You can have sex because you feel like it or wait on sex because you feel like it. Or you can get married because you want to or avoid marriage because you don't want to get married. 

Anytime you're trying to devise a plan to get a man to commit... you're already using the wrong strategy. A man who wants to commit to you always will. And a man who doesn't want to commit to you always won't. And if he doesn't... let him go. That's the most powerful strategy.


If you’re interested in developing Emotional Mastery and feeling more comfortable in your own skin, click the link below to register for my FREE Emotional Mastery Webinar…

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15 minutes ago, Twentyfirst said:

Incentives matter A LOT

Only if you're looking for someone to build your ego or looking to get something from her. If you just want to love her, no incentives needed.


Unconditional love is all there is. 

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15 minutes ago, Emerald said:

The only incentive that makes a man want to stay with you is if he loves you and wants you in his life. A man who loves you will walk through the fire to be with you.

There is no other incentive that works to keep a man... not looks... not marriage... not giving him sex... not with-holding sex for a more opportune time... not cooking skills... not anything else. If he doesn't feel that way, he just doesn't feel that way. And you can't do anything to make him feel that way.

He either loves and wants you in his life or he doesn't. And there is no strategy for making him stay.

Just be the best version of yourself. And as a side effect, you will attract in the men that are compatible to you and who value you. And then reject all the ones you don't like... and reject all the ones who don't recognize your beauty/value... and reject all the ones who aren't available for a relationship.

Trying active attraction strategies is a masculine way of going about things and doesn't work for women. Instead women need more passive strategies around selecting the right man and rejecting the wrong men.

It's only when you reject the men that don't love you or value you in particular that you tune yourself in to a man who loves you in particular and wants to be with you in particular. That's a much better strategy for women.

And when you use this strategy, you don't have to use sex or marriage as a man-trapping strategy because there is no need to. You can have sex because you feel like it or wait on sex because you feel like it. Or you can get married because you want to or avoid marriage because you don't want to get married. 

Anytime you're trying to devise a plan to get a man to commit... you're already using the wrong strategy. A man who wants to commit to you always will. And a man who doesn't want to commit to you always won't. And if he doesn't... let him go. That's the most powerful strategy.

It seems like you think that men are like women. Everything you described applies to women not men

Incentives are crazy important. Idk how you don't see that. Laws, marriage, divorce, finance, access to sex all needs to be controlled and regulated by society. A "free for all" will end in absolute disaster and possible extinction of a species (look at declining birth rates in countries that abandoned the traditional path"

It's a woman that will crawl through the mud to be with the man. Why would the man do it for her? He can get 10 of you. Women are more replaceable than men are because men care about their mission more than their relationship. Women are concerned about the relationship. 

None of what I said is man trapping. Men WANT to stay with you but if you don't INCENTIVIZE them they will leave even if they want to stay

I promise you none of this stuff that sounds good will actually work. Women will get rekt listening to this. Single and childless and resentful. 

 

 

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