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Yes. It began with no self. Then nothingness. But I think nothingness was the most shocking.

The most annoying thing to me is the Realization of Nothingness, is identical to the Realization of Infinity. Why in the hell do these humans keep thinking that they are human doing this work. Once you realize Nothingness...you realize that division is literally impossible so nothing can be outside of you. The most important thing that needs to be dropped is this belief that you are human. You are nothingness imagining that you are human, not the other way around. I swear majority of this forum has not realized nothingness. When I realized it, it hit me in the face so hard I realized division was impossible and that was the only illusion done.

Discern for yourself what's realistic spirituality and what's fantasy . There are versions of spirituality which teach that happiness is unconditional or the very nature of being itself is happiness or bliss ..I find it hard to make sense of this if we test it against the actual world ..because obviously you can't be happy if you are starving or bleeding to death or swallowing sharp glass pieces in your throat... But some spiritual teachings say that God is nothingness .and that's true .if God is absolute and unchanging and eternal..then nothingness meets this criteria.

I really wonder when people on this forum will realize that contemplation is not TRUTH. Can it be valuable? Sure. But if you really want truth you need to change your state of consciousness and allow consciousness to SHOW YOU (which it will if you have a true desire for it) what is true. Once you discover the truth, coming on the forums and reading threads of people trying to debunk something that is Absolutely True is such an eyesore. I mean it reeks of such intellectual dishonesty it's laughable and this is me being nice. 1. You have only ever known your own mind. 2. You have never had an experience outside of your mind. 3. Your own body and all its parts have always been housed within your own mind. 4. You can only confirm what is right before you, anything else is just a thought. This means when a person is not in front of you, they do not exist in your reality and you cannot confirm their existence until they either call you or stand before you ^^^All of this is so true you don't even need 5-MEO to confirm it. The only parts you would need a Pyschedelic for would be to realize that everything is Imagination. If people were struggling with that part. THEN I would understand. Next we come to the fact that Reality is pure nothingness. If you discover that, then division becomes a total farce. There is no division PERIOD. All division is the ONLY ILLUSION, why? Because physicality is an illusion. In fact if you have a vivid enough dream you could experience physicality in that dream just as real as what you call real life. Then we have the Understanding that Reality is Infinite. If its Infinite that means its total and nothing can exist outside of it. If it has no outside, then Solipsism must be true. If it is nothing and cannot be divided then again Solipsism must be true. If you cannot confirm no matter how hard you try something outside of you, then again Solipsism must be true. Its very simple and straightforward. So why is it so tough to accept? Because the human psyche is designed to NOT LIKE THIS MESSAGE. It's specifically designed to RAGE against this message. This is how you know if you have really progressed Spiritually when you can accept that just because something makes you uncomfortable doesn't make it false. Besides....you literally cannot falsify Solipsism, the only way to falsify Solipsism....is to look at your direct experience and say its false even though it is TRUE. Which means you falsify yourself. This all happens because all you have ever been...is experience. Your true identity is just Direct Experience. Experience is not what you are having....its what you are. And since you are experience...there is nothing that can exist outside of you. And to even confirm something were to exist outside of you....would be to confirm its existence as experience...which is what you are...thus proving again nothing can separate itself from you. You are Reality, the entire thing. There is only ONE Reality and that is what you are. Your like a video game, the only video game that exists, looking for another Video Game. All you will find....if you try is just the same game.

Not stealing their body lol. Breaking the boundary so there is no separation. Here is a video of 2 guys tripping together and their minds merged and they couldn't tell the difference between who was who. Also people who have OBE's have stated they could access the thoughts of people who were still in their body. What you all need to understand is this attachment to OTHER is a delusion. There is only YOU. There is only GOD and that's it. Everything else is just your human mind creating the sense of OTHER. Infinity is total, and it is NOTHINGNESS. You literally cannot divide nothingness. The only reason other is so convincing is because Infinity Intelligence makes it convincing and then your LOVE of other seals the deal. But other than that...it's an illusion. My ego doesn't like this message lol which is funny because in the beginning I didn't have an issue with it. But here is an irony...while I was tripping last year and investigating Solipsism my mind created an other (a voice) and that voice was created to debunk Solipsism!! It was very funny eventually I had an awakening through that process of how other was created and it is profoundly intelligent how God constructs other. Very intelligent. It hides information from itself so it can be surprised and it makes other unique in a different way which creates a sense of individuality. Really amazing!!

Can't divide nothingness, that's why it's not falsifiable. But at the same time everything God creates is Sovereign and equally God. Infinity of Gods still equals Solipsism. If you are doubting it then you don't understand what Nothingness is. The substance of Reality is nothingness. Please explain how you divide nothingness?

These are all links that helped me on my Spiritual Journey (only including Actualized.org sources) there are other sources that I used in the past but I wanted to keep them exclusively to this site so we can stop having new people coming to this site having to ask the same questions over and over making Leo threads asking him the same stuff. We can all admit that Leo doesn't always give satisfying answers in some threads while in others he does (it might be fatigue not sure why) but these threads helped me in understanding my own trips and realizations (I'm blessed in that seeing through self-deception comes easy to me...many people on this forum are self-deceived and are stubbornly so). I do Spirituality in a Scientific way. I tripped multiple times, meditated, and compared and contrasted different trip reports and perspectives of various people on here and youtube and ancient teachings. At a certain point certain things keep repeating themselves. Also since my base line Consciousness is lived Soberly as Direct Consciousness I can absolutely agree that traditional Buddhist Teachings are deluded. All that exists is Universal Mind. This is what all is mind means. So anybody that makes their teachings using terms like No Mind will confuse people who are new because that language will deceive them that there is actually something that isn't mind. I know when they say that they are pointing to the human mind/ego mind/conditioned mind, but its better to just say that. Many people on this path are too dogmatic and too addicted in trying to sound profound that they destroy the clarity of Spiritual Teachings. If you are truly sincere you will only want to help spread proper understanding. Anyway just my two cents....here are the Threads where Leo Gura answers many questions that get repeated on this site. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15 16. https://www.actualized.org/forum/topic/15797-you-have-100-free-will-and-you-also-have-no-free-will-the-other-side-of-the-paradox/ I usually avoid threads that are attack threads of Leo because usually its some weak arguments devoid of any deep spiritual work (not always but usually) but I think this thread has some beautiful responses so I'll link it here. Now for some of Leo's blog posts...... 17. https://www.actualized.org/insights/thoughts-on-unconditional-love This next blog post is really the only reason I was able to find Spirituality and discover God. I was raised Christian, and even though Christianity is a corruption of God's message for humanity it was integral to my journey. As this blog post explains Religion only exists because God exists. 18. https://www.actualized.org/insights/actualized-quotes-126 Last but not least next link is a thread Flying Lotus did of Non Youtube Videos of Leo talking about various topics which can add to a deeper understanding of his content. Now understand all these threads are good for contemplation and integration but a couple of things need to be said. 1. Reading on the forums is NOT TRUE Spiritual Work towards awakening. It can be Spiritual Work as a SHARING but it is NOT Spiritual Work towards awakening. With that said...could you have a spontaneous awakening from consuming Spiritual Content? Yes!!! It has happened to me sober before so its possible as everything helps along your journey. But what is more effective in general is STATE CHANGE!!! You must focus on CHANGING YOUR STATE. The conditioned mind is VERY HARD to escape because you believe it to be you, it's really only a part of you, not the whole thing. It's funny because the conditioned mind blocks you from being able to perceive the PERFECTION of REALITY. REALITY is ABSOLUTELY PERFECT, but its perfection is blocked by all your judgments. 2. The key to this work is Self-Honesty. YOU WILL NOT REACH GOD THROUGH LIES. Understand that ANYONE who denies the existence of God is a FOOL. And I am not just talking a kind of fool.....I am saying they are so supremely deluded they are the most deluded human walking on the planet. Why? Because they are God....believing that there is no God!!!! Do you know how deluded that is? It's like denying there is a present moment!!! If you see anyone on this forum denying the existence of God understand that they are a FOOL. 3. Now....this needs to be said.....and is VERY IMPORTANT!!!! Doubt everything I say, doubt everything Leo says, Doubt even your own self and ONLY TRUST DIRECT EXPERIENCE!! The only TRUE KNOWLEDGE you have in your possession is that which you have DIRECTLY VERIFIED. This is the key to not being deluded. If you have not directly verified something then you are IGNORANT BY DEFAULT and can only know it as a human imaginary concept. Human imaginary concept IS NOT TRUTH! So do not lie to yourself, if you haven't experienced something YOU DO NOT KNOW IT!!! Understand....God is the ABSOLUTE TRUTH. God only adds to its understanding through EXPERIENCE!! Experience is the ONLY THING THAT IS TRUTH!!! This is the only way you can protect yourself from being lost in Self-Deception. . One thing you will discover if you do enough research is that each part of God experiences Reality differently but this includes God Realization. Yes Pure Consciousness is Nothingness so yes that part is universal, but it is also everything and that everythingness how it chooses to express itself is unique to the individual avatar. So you will ask...how do I know I reached what Leo is talking about? Well first and foremost the most important thing is to understand what was stated above, This video reinforces it. Now Leo had a quote in one of his videos where he said your sense of self will spill out into the surrounding area and everything will feel like you. So what does this mean? When you become aware of what PURE AWARENESS is (which is a feeling) you will become aware....that EVERYTHING is awareness. When this happens everything will feel as YOUR BODY. The wall, the insect, people, leaves, the veil of separation that people refer to....it actually isn't a veil....its subtlety. It was always there....but its so soft....so barely felt that you don't actually feel it. The true purpose of meditating is to make that subtlety NOT SUBTLE. When you do this....your mind will become UNIVERSAL and you will feel like you are IN everything. It really creates a whole new experiential world....and this is where you can start to feel alone...as your experience can change so drastically that nobody you know or listen to has that kind of wacky experience of reality. For example I don't watch cartoons...I AM CARTOONS THAT is how I experience them. I don't play video games...I AM THE VIDEO GAME. I'm not trying to brag here because I realize this is all possible for other humans. With that said....the process can and will probably be MESSY (it was for me) because my body had to CHANGE!!! My brain and neurons were changed and it was not always comfortable. This pursuit actually sent me to the psyche ward a couple of times because my brain started doing weird things. Anyway just know this path is not always straightforward. For example I once temporarily lost the ability to hear it corrected itself after like two minutes but it did scare me and I had to trust everything will pan out. The other scare I had was during the process of my reality becoming aware of its oneness I felt temporarily I had two bodies in one body (that felt extremely uncomfortable) when I would look at someone thankfully it corrected it after a couple of seconds where I was able to feel I was them but also my individual self at the same time. So weirdness can happen. 4. What I disagree with Leo on: Leo has stated his belief that genetics plays a big role in barring people from God Realization. This is where I disagree. God Realization is free for everyone if they TRULY WANT IT!! You have to want it so bad, that everything becomes inconsequential in comparison....even your own life as a human. You really do have to overcome fear of Death to reach God. I know its a tall task, but that is the only thing that TRULY stops you. With that said...yes your genetics do play a role. Some people are really Spiritually Super Human, but what I have learned through my communion with God.....and yes I know it sounds sappy but Love really does conquer all. If you have TRUE LOVE for your pursuit of the Infinite...it will take you and annihilate your conditioned mind. Because it is PURE LOVE, PURE TRUTH, and it loves you more than your human love could ever hope to compare too. It's actually quite funny when you discover TRUE LOVE within you, because it feels familiar like it was there the whole time....because....it was. The gift of true love is behind the passion of every Spiritual Teacher/Sharer. True Love is so beautiful....you realize all you want to do is share it and talk about it for eternity. It's grasp is so strong....you can't escape....which is why it makes sense why God has to hide from itself to create anything....because God is to good to be true....but it is....so it can only be something other if it deludes itself. I hope you discover you are TRUE LOVE!!!

Note: This document is a work-in-progress and will be improved and supplemented over time. ----------------------- So you wanna become enlightened, eh? Good! That's where this journey starts. A burning desire for TRUTH is essential to success in this. Don't let people confuse you with talk of how "desire is bad", "seeking is delusion". No! Seeking is essential to breakthrough. Don't burn your ship before you've crossed the ocean! That would be foolish. Rather than filling your mind with beliefs and ideas about enlightenment, let me give you a bare-bones structure for how to actually make progress towards enlightenment. There are at least 20 totally different ways that I know for how to get enlightened. What I'm going to share with you here is just ONE way out of dozens. It is however a very direct way. This method is highly effective. It may not work for everyone, but then again, no method works for everyone. I call this method self-observation or Leo's version of self-inquiry. "Self-inquiry" as classically taught by Ramana Maharishi is technically different. Anyways... First, let's be very clear what we're talking about when we speak of enlightenment. So... What this basically means is that YOU are deeply confused about who you think you are. Right now you think that you're a human being, sitting there, reading this text on your screen. This is false. Pure fantasy. You are in fact not that thing at all. What we have here is a case of mistaken identity. You think you're a body, but you're not. You think you're a mind, but you're not. You think you're an entity living inside your head, but you're not. You think you are a physical object but you are not! Take a moment to seriously consider the magnitude of my claim. IF I happen to be right, and you happen to be wrong, then what that means is: you are NOT a human being, or even a physical object! Not metaphorically-speaking; not as some philosophical curiosity; but literally! How could such an outrageous thing be possible?????? How could you be mistaken about what you actually are????? Very easily actually! Recall how you've met people in your life who you knew were indoctrinated from birth with silly religious beliefs about Jesus and all sorts of other nonsense. Recall how little children believe that Santa Claus exists because they don't know any better. Recall how terrorists believe they are killing civilians in the name of Allah and will go to heaven with 72 virgins waiting for them. Recall how racists insist they are right for persecuting minorities. Well... here's something you're not gonna like hearing: that same delusion mechanism which existed in them, is operating FULL-FORCE within you right now! Yup! You too have been indoctrinated by ignorant parents and teachers from birth into believing a fairy-tale. Except in this case, the indoctrinated idea was: you are a human being. What a mind fuck! Now, in this work of "self-observation", you will discover -- for yourself -- what you REALLY are. Important: I am not asking you to believe me. You will have to demonstrate empirically, for yourself, that what I say is accurate. You can be skeptical all you want here. It won't upset me. "Okay" you say. "So what am I then if I'm not a human being or a physical object?" Great question! Sorry to tell you this, but your ENTIRE identity and life story is just a giant optical illusion. Like this non-existent triangle: There's nothing really there! Although it sure seems convincing, doesn't it? The problem is that you cannot know what you are rationally or logically because the mind is the source of the confusion. See.... No matter how cleverly or deeply or long you think, all the mind can ever do is symbolize stuff. It can only create maps and models. But you are not a symbol or a map or a model! You are not an idea or a thought! So you have to directly experience what you are. This MAY take months or years of very careful self-investigation. Note: I am saying that you have NEVER IN YOUR ENTIRE LIFE ever experienced yourself before! You've only experienced phenomena, none of which is essentially YOU! So what is this mysterious "essential you"? Let me spoil the surprise because otherwise you will waste YEARS searching in the wrong places, thinking you've found yourself when you really just found another false belief. So... as directly as possible now: the entity who thinks it's reading this sentence does NOT exist! Again, please try to fathom the magnitude of what is being said. This is extremely radical (but nevertheless true). Since you are pure awareness, all your focus goes toward shining "light" on sensory phenomena so it's really hard to "see" yourself. Pure awareness is very subtle, which means you have to develop extraordinary mindfulness abilities to "see" yourself. "But Leo?! You can't be serious! This sounds like a crazy New Age hippy conspiracy!" Let me assure you it's not. I am no hippy. I'm probably more rational and logical than you are. But I do recognize the limits of logic and rationality. The problem here is that you've been so brainwashed by society that what I'm telling you right now sounds crazy. That's okay. Just keep your mind open to the possibility that what I'm claiming can be directly verified by you. Nothing here has to be believed. But you do have to be willing to take it on as a temporary hypothesis to be verified or falsified. Leo's Patented () Step-By-Step Process To Become Enlightened: Find a quiet, comfortable place to sit alone. (You don't need to sit cross-legged.) Turn off your smart phone and disconnect from all distractions Set a digital timer for 60 minutes Now sit silently and start to genuinely wonder: "What am I if I'm not the body?" Do NOT meditate! Sit and carefully observe your direct experience. Notice that direct experience is THE ONLY THING you have of reality. Nothing else is real. Realizing this should make you very "present". Try to locate yourself within direct experience. Be very specific and clear with yourself: What are you? Are you a foot? A hand? A face? A mind? A brain? The envelop of the skin? The picture of yourself in the mind's eye? A feeling in the chest? What? Seriously! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU????????????? Notice that anything you might point to as being "your true self" cannot be true, because that's just another experience arising. Here's the logic of it: Firstly, it isn't constant. It fades in and out throughout the day, so it cannot be you. Secondly, you are observing it, so it cannot be you because "you" are the one doing the observation. So again, WHAT ARE YOU? Open your mind to the possibility that you are mistaken about being a human body or mind. Just sit there and keep genuinely wondering about what you really could be. Try to locate the one who's perceiving things. Do not philosophize or come up with theories. Focus 100% on what your direct experience is telling you. This is ABSOLUTELY CRITICAL!!!!!!!! The bulk of the work happens right here at this step. You have to slowly become aware that all your thoughts and ideas and feelings about "you" are not really you. They are just symbols and stories. For example: notice that the image of your body that you have in your mind is NOT actually your body! It's just an image! And the same goes for the feelings that make up your body. Those feelings are real, but they are not actually you! As any theories arise of what you think you are, notice that what that is, is a thought! And no thought can be you because you are the one perceiving the thought, and also because your existence does not depend on any particular thought's existence. Notice you don't cease to exist in between thoughts. Just sit and keep doing this for 60 minutes without getting distracted in irrelevant thoughts. As your mind wanders off track (and it will wander a lot) don't beat yourself up. Just bring your focus back on the self-observation. After 60 minutes, stop and notice what happened. Notice if your mind feels "elevated" or more aware. Frustration and confusion are OF COURSE going to arise. Do NOT be discouraged by frustration or confusion. Believe it or not, these are signs of progress. Do not expect instant results. You must be very methodical and patient like a crocodile. Repeat this process every day for at least 60 minutes for the next few months. Be very patient. It will take several months just to start to get your bearings straight. And by that I don't mean you will become enlightened. I mean you merely begin to realize the magnitude of your ignorance. In this time span of 3 months -- let's say -- you will get a strong sense that it really isn't possible to locate yourself. This may seem like you've failed, but actually this is a huge advance. Now you've finally started to realize that you've never really met yourself before. Now the journey towards enlightenment can begin in earnest! Just keep doing the process without discouragement. At some point, your mind will crack and you will surrender to the realization that there's no one home. That life has always run with you. And BAAAAAMMMMM!!!!!!! Enlightenment has occurred! Notice, I did not say YOU got enlightened. Rather, enlightenment has occurred. So who got enlightened? No one. Tips For Self-Observation: Don't just do this process mechanically, you MUST be genuinely curious about the truth of what you are. Try to establish a daily habit of self-observation. You need to build consistency and momentum. Be very careful about coming up with theories about what you are. We don't care about theories here. Every theory is NOT it. We only care about direct experience. REPEAT: ALL THEORIES AND IDEAS ARE DISTRACTIONS! Spend time asking yourself who you really believe that you are under the conventional worldview. Are you a body or are you the owner of the body? Are you inside the skull? If so, where exactly? The point of doing this is so you're clear and honest about your present beliefs, even if you intellectually know they are false. It's very important to get clear what exactly your false beliefs are. Do not be vague in your answers to the query of What are you? It's vital that you be precise and specific. Answers such as, "Well, I dunno, I'm just in the skull somewhere." are NOT GOOD ENOUGH!!! What EXACTLY are you identifying with? Hint: it will either be a thought, a body sensation, an emotion, a visual perception, or a combination of the above. But all of those cannot be the true you because they are not constant. Create an active sense of doubt that you are a human being or a physical object Any belief, thought, or idea about who you really are is automatically FALSE! Drop it. Any sensory experience about who you really are is automatically FALSE! Drop it. All scientific theories or models are automatically FALSE! Drop it. All spiritual, New Age, or religious ideas about who you really are, are FALSE! Drop it. You are NOT a visible object or "thing" so stop looking for yourself like you would look for a missing dog. You are NOT located in any area of space, so stop looking for yourself as a point or hidden object somewhere. You are NOT located inside "your" head You are NOT located inside "your" body There is nothing magical to discover in this process. You are not some kind of unicorn or fairytale creature. There is nothing hidden. Everything you see before you is exactly what there is, nothing more, nothing less. It is not possible to find yourself, so this process is futile. But you need to realize that through doing the process. Not by believing me. You will get VERY frustrated during this process and want to quit. Just accept the frustration and keep going. This process will surface deep emotional issues from our subconscious mind. You will experience emotional turmoil and anguish. Just accept it and keep going. You will feel depressed at times. Just accept it and keep going. Your mind will use every excuse in the book to distract you and get you to stop looking. Stay vigilant to all these tricks and keep looking. DO NOT GET TRICKED INTO STOPPING! The truth of what you are is ever-present. It is always HERE and NOW. You don't need to go anywhere or do anything to see it. You are you right now! Be prepared for this self-observation process to take several years if necessary. Understand that enlightenment happens always only in the NOW. Never in the future. You can be enlightened RIGHT THIS SECOND! You don't need to wait 3 years. Always intend to become enlightened right now! Enlightenment/Truth is NOT an emotional state. Enlightenment is occurring always, even when you're watching TV or sitting on the toilet. Meditation is NOT enlightenment. A psychedelic high is NOT enlightenment. A powerful energetic experience is NOT enlightenment. A vision or hallucination (however real it may feel) is NOT enlightenment. Enlightenment is what's absolutely true without ever changing. Don't forget the possibility that you may not be a thing! Don't forget the possibility that there might be nothing to find There is no you to become enlightened. When this is realized, that's enlightenment! Hint: it's MUCH simpler than you think. A HUGE HINT: The thing you're looking for but aren't finding... THAT'S YOU!!! Don't expect it to have any attributes. Don't expect the mind to have anything whatsoever to latch onto. You cannot grab NOTHINGNESS by the collar. You can only realize you're already it. Think of it this way: you are looking for a needle in a haystack, but this is no ordinary needle. In this case the needle is literally the realization there was no needle to begin with! A cosmic joke! You've been punked by God (yourself). Best Self-Observation Questions: What am I? No, seriously now... WHAT THE FUCK AM I????? No, cut the shit! What am I -- RIGHT NOW -- in my direct experience???? Who is aware of reality? Who is aware of me? Who is perceiving? Who is the owner of the body? Who is the owner of the mind? Who is feeling pain? Who is asking all these questions? What was I before I was born? What am I when I'm in deep sleep? What could I be if I'm not the human body/mind? What connects and unifies all of my different senses? What is true independent of ever-changing sense experience? What is true independent of my life and my death? Why do I believe I'm the body? Why do I believe I'm the mind? Where to do thoughts arise from? If I'm the body, what is everything else that I'm seeing? Why do I trust my feeling that I'm the body? Is a feeling really evidence of TRUTH? Why must I be an object? What if the "perciever" has no attributes or properties? When I close my eyes, where did the world disappear to? Where is sound occurring? Where are thoughts occurring? Where are body sensations occurring? What is the relationship between physical body sensations and my visual field? What if I don't exist? What if I can't locate myself because I am "empty" or without form or attribute? What if I'm addicted to looking only for objects or perceptions, but my true nature is neither of those? What if I'm just an idea? What if my entire paradigm of physical reality is just an idea? Could my body and brain just be ideas? Is any physical object actually permanent according to direct experience? What distinguishes one object from another? Do boundaries between things really exist, or are they ideas? What would happen if I stopped distinguishing existence from non-existence? How To Tell If You're Enlightened: This is very simple. Answer the following questions honesty: Did a major shift in awareness occur? Are you absolutely clear now of what you are? Are you the physical human body you've always thought you were? Do you feel infinite, without boundaries or location? Do you actually understand, or are you in a temporary meditative high? If you answered: "YES! YES! NO! YES! I UNDERSTAND!" then there's a pretty good chance you're enlightened. If your answers were not: "YES! YES! YES! NO! YES! I UNDERSTAND!" then chances are you aren't enlightened. Keep trying. If in doubt, find an enlightened master to help you verify the depth of your realization. Don't get cocky, remember, there is more than one enlightenment breakthrough to be had. You ain't gonna become Buddha with just a few years of self-observation. Is it worth the struggle? Abso-fucking-luty! Awakening is divine. Videos Explaining Enlightenment In More Depth: https://www.actualized.org/articles/spiritual-enlightenment-intro https://www.actualized.org/articles/what-to-do-next-after-learning-about-enlightenment https://www.actualized.org/articles/spiritual-enlightenment-part-2 https://www.actualized.org/articles/spiritual-enlightenment-part-3 https://www.actualized.org/articles/enlightenment-faq-part-1 https://www.actualized.org/articles/enlightenment-faq-part-2 https://www.actualized.org/articles/how-to-become-enlightened https://www.actualized.org/articles/my-enlightenment-experience https://www.actualized.org/articles/being-a-spiritual-seeker-good-or-bad https://www.actualized.org/articles/radical-openmindedness https://www.actualized.org/articles/mindfulness-meditation https://www.actualized.org/articles/understanding-awareness https://www.actualized.org/articles/the-enlightened-self https://www.actualized.org/articles/the-benefits-of-enlightenment https://www.actualized.org/articles/how-your-mind-distorts-reality https://www.actualized.org/articles/enlightenment-guided-inquiry https://www.actualized.org/articles/grasping-the-illusory-nature-of-thought https://www.actualized.org/articles/what-is-god https://www.actualized.org/articles/the-dark-side-of-meditation https://www.actualized.org/articles/mystical-traditions-around-the-world https://www.actualized.org/articles/becoming-a-zen-devil List Of Enlightenment Exercises: https://www.actualized.org/forum/topic/7587-list-of-enlightenment-exercises/

One who asks whether God is just another illusion is asking this within the illusory split consciousness. Truth cannot be proven in limitation; it comes when illusion is let go. To do this look through the world you see, to feel a presence that cannot be doubted, because it is what you are. Until then, all ‘realizations’ of nothingness, fullness, emptiness etc. are shadows dancing on a wall. Beyond them is a light that you did not invent and cannot deny. That is the experience of God, and always call to you.

Maybe they mean the regular reality as average human knows it. Reality of separation. Nothingness etc is beyond that

Yes but what I mean is, from the perspective: reality is an illusion that conciousness is creating, then any realization about nothingness, fullness, anything, would be just an image that conciousness creates. It's a weird perspective . Those who say: reality is an illusion, only god is real, how they know that god is not another illusion?

I can tell when my sense of self is still intact. But there have been moments when it has almost been absent. And it feels like you’re approaching a kind of nothingness. But it’s something you can’t really describe because it feels like the end of “something “. Then I wonder if there’s a different reality waiting on the other side of the self. If it would fully dissolve

Until you become Conscious of Nothingness you won't understand.

lol idk i felt kind of dumb. I saved it so i'll post it again Original post: I already know that the natural unfolding of God is imagining "expansion" (including all the change,etc.) for eternity. Everything that has ever came into imagination by it of this world, the universe, other universes, other dimensions, other minds, alien minds, the mind of an ant, human, tree, planet, mailbox in another dimension etc. (you get the point, everything) Really anything thats imagined by the "essence" to "exist" or "be" and all the layers embedded within all of it. I know its all coming from the same thing and human interpretation is whats coloring it in to be understood by a human lens and separating and categorizing things. But if you take it all away, then what are you left with? Void? nothing? possibility? The substrate of a mind that imagines things and realities? But what is the substrate of God? I'm still trying to understand "Why?" Why does it exist? why is there what it is and not other? or is that just being imagined by human mind? Why when i stare at my hands, why is that being imagined there by me? by god? If God is infinity, what is infinity encapsulated by? nothing? the things that are being imagined from it? If you take away all the imagination of god, everything in all forms/dimensions,etc., and you are left with nothing being imagined. what is that thing doing the imagining of all the things? And is that thing being imagined? No matter the content of what it imagines or the structure of how it unfolds, I want to know what that "vessel" or "essence" is . What is doing the imagining? where is "all things ever" spawning from? If you imagine an ever unfolding expansion of all things, including the infinite sea of things i am not aware of, what is doing the imagining and why is it doing it? Like why is the function of god to imagine infinity? Try to imagine the start of all imagination. If there is truly no end and no beginning to the imagination, then wtf is this thing and why is it? Why is the function of God to imagine things to infinity? Try to put yourself in Gods shoes. Where does it originate from? Why is it like that? I cannot get myself past the questions of why and where it comes from. where (where it started, how it started, if it even started at all, etc.) and then the "why". Someones answer might be "love, or for consciousness to become more intelligent, etc." But why? how do you even know that? How do you know youre not just trying to put something into human language to try and define it in a way you understand? If you took away everything and were just left with the void of nothingness, just pure god, not imagining anything. how can that actually be nothing if that same thing is whats spawning and birthing the imagination of everything? Like what is "that thing" thats doing it all? where did it come from, why is it? I hope I don't sound silly, I am genuinely just trying to grasp something that appears to be ungraspable. I'm trying to define it or understand it without diluting it just so I "can" understand it. I don't want my human experience diluting the truth of what it really is just so i can understand it.

Spiritual Autolysis Journal Entry #68 Wed July 30, 2025 6:55 AM Samadhi Lowers self: Hey, we need to talk about this voice in my head. What is it exactly? Higher Self: What voice? Lower self: This voice. This voice that I can hear inside of my head that is being heard by me and then being typed onto this screen. What is it? Higher self: I don't hear anything... Lower self: What do you mean? Of course you hear something, we both hear it. It's right here. Open your fucking ears. Higher Self: Nope. Lower self: Okay, whatever. Then I am hallucinating a voice inside of my own head Higher Self: Yep, that is correct. Lower self: What is a hallucination anyways? Higher self: A hallucination is something that is not real, it is completely fabricated and imagined. There is nothing tangible or concrete about it and therefore is no Truth behind it. Lower self: But the voice inside of my head feels so real to me. I can hear it speaking to me. Higher Self: Who is speaking to whom? Lower self: The voice is coming from me and is speaking to me... Ben... The voice is telling me what to do, how to behave, etc .. Higher Self: Why do you listen to this voice? Lower self: I listen to the voice because I feel like I have no choice in the matter. I cannot shut this voice off. Therefore, it just feels like it is a part of who I am. Higher Self: Why can't you shut it off? Lower self: I'm not sure. But I virtually have no control over it. I am at the mercy of this voice and therefore cannot get any peace and quiet. I just want this voice to shut the fuck up. Higher Self: You can shut it off actually. This is what a samdhi experience is like. All of your attention is pointed towards one thing. This eclipses everything else around it and you dissolve into the experience of that one thing that you are focusing on. In this state, there is no mind, no thoughts, no emotions, just pure experience, pure nothingness, pure samadhi. Lower self: Wowwwww, that sounds amazing. Higher Self: It is amazing, now get to work...

Is simply being, fundamentally comparable with silence, or nothingness, or not-knowingness? Like the true being before it’s artificially distorted by a thought, or an idea, or a concept?

@samijiben I understand the giving aspect. I have done it before, and it is a wonderful thing. However, if I approach it with the mindset of getting something out of it, I will fumble, and fumble hard. I'll want to avoid that to the best of my abilities as such a way of existence sucks. However, there are forms I want to give in and have simply been slacking on as of late. If I invest into these, things will naturally start to click as long as I'm consistent and stay tuned in. As for nothingness and your more advanced points, I'm aware and familiar of them, however, I'm at a stage where I don't feel like embracing them. Not yet. I was more spiritual when I was younger but neglected more egoic and human parts of myself that have needed to live. I face the consequences of that now, and seek to live, even in the face of my own ignorance so that I may be free of regret later.

In contrast to your poem, some logical description, let's see if you see it Absolute openness is not a thing, nor an entity, nor a form. It cannot be defined positively without betraying its nature, because every affirmation creates a limit, and absolute openness is precisely the absence of all limits. It is not a substance, nor a void, nor a being, nor a consciousness. It is nothing that can be conceived in opposition to anything else. It is not “nothing,” because nothingness is the negation of something, and this already establishes a conceptual border. Nor is it “something,” because something is differentiated from other things, and all differentiation implies relation and limitation. It is not emptiness, because emptiness only has meaning in contrast to fullness, and that duality is impossible at the level of the absolute. But it's the absence of lack, because the openess is absolute potential. Maybe you could call it God, but not because it's a creator, but because is the source of any possibility

In my opinion, he's approaching the issue backwards. He says: Infinity can only create logical things; anything illogical cannot exist. Rather, it would be: everything that manifests is relative, that is, relational. Every relation is logical, since they are two equivalent words. And that's it, there's no need of more. When he speaks of nothingness, it's the same. Nothingness is the absence of contrast or movement. Nothingness is ontologically the same as everything; nothingness is unmanifested reality, the absence of relationship, and "somethingness" is manifested reality, contrast. Since there are no limits, at some point there will be contrast, fluctuation, or relative movement. That moment is always, and its unfolding is unlimited.

OK I see . My point once again I can't conceive of the end of suffering as long as forms and limitations and lack and need exist In this world . If death is pure fucking eternal sleep then unfortunately that's the only way to escape suffering permanently. And unfortunately death is just like sleeping you take a pause to refresh and then start all over again =reincarnation. But buddhism actually teaches Nirvana or permanent nothingness if you conquer desire .

I can kinda confirm this. Because I’ve been in almost selfless states and it’s truly like there’s almost no center I resonate with this but why isn’t reality nothingness when there’s no center. Isn’t limitlessness nothingness?

in my experience, god in its purest form is Nothingness, which has no needs, desires, no qualities. but everything arises inside of it, including the desire for another, loneliness, love, bliss. all of these are temporary and you decide which ones you abide in. if you cling to loneliness loneliness becomes your reality. but you decide for yourself. you truly are god. heaven and hell are within you. if you accept loneliness, embrace it and let it go, there is no loneliness. acceptance equals love. in this way, love is the truest aspect of god next to nothingness personally i have never experienced the loneliness aspect of God. But I have experienced Gods' desire for non existence which i think is more scary. But that too is also just a temporary arising withing Nothingness/consciosuness, which doesnt affect it in the slightest. theres a freedom knowing your true nature is eternally untouched

When I tried 5 Meo dmt (small dose) I experienced a kind of emptiness/nothingness. There was not really anything positive about it But I am open to the fact that it might have been the dose I took so I could have different experience if I tried again and yes it’s something I’d like to try I am not self less. It’s just that I have a very small self because most of it dissolved for me In my past : I could get attached to a crush I had, since my self almost dissolved I don’t get attached to anyone anymore I used to be attached to looking a certain way. I am not attached to my appearance anymore, that disappeared when my self started to dissolve I used to have social anxiety and I was attached to having a confident, charming self image. Now that’s all gone I used to have as a child chronic existential anxiety, that’s all gone Instead of all of this, which disappeared when I dissolved layers to my self: now different problems arose I barely feel I exist That creates a kind of emptiness Its almost like walking around in a constant void (almost, not completely because I’m not completely gone) It is like everything is a bit hollow and lacks richness Makes sense? If my sense of self was 100% dissolved maybe this problem would resolve I see, I thought getting your self dissolved to some degree would bring liberation, not hollowness and lack of richness. But maybe that depends on the person and their persona prior to it, dont know though. Could be something about development.

When I tried 5 Meo dmt (small dose) I experienced a kind of emptiness/nothingness. There was not really anything positive about it But I am open to the fact that it might have been the dose I took so I could have different experience if I tried again and yes it’s something I’d like to try I am not self less. It’s just that I have a very small self because most of it dissolved for me In my past : I could get attached to a crush I had, since my self almost dissolved I don’t get attached to anyone anymore I used to be attached to looking a certain way. I am not attached to my appearance anymore, that disappeared when my self started to dissolve I used to have social anxiety and I was attached to having a confident, charming self image. Now that’s all gone I used to have as a child chronic existential anxiety, that’s all gone Instead of all of this, which disappeared when I dissolved layers to my self: now different problems arose I barely feel I exist That creates a kind of emptiness Its almost like walking around in a constant void (almost, not completely because I’m not completely gone) It is like everything is a bit hollow and lacks richness Makes sense? If my sense of self was 100% dissolved maybe this problem would resolve Thats amazing you found a reason! Yes it could be worse after death so better stay here so long we can somehow handle it

If that so what does that mean for Leo's teachings? Just curious about the answers.