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Nothing outside awareness. Inside is not emptiness, not Nothingness. Hard to describe it. A No-thingness, a spaciousness. Something that's not a thing.

<--[02-29-16]--> EXP +100 Today was fairly smooth. I had a lot of college work to do today. I managed get myself to control my emotional self that hates everything to do with college and actually motivate myself to actually finishing the coding work required. The deadline for said work was today. Even though I still needed to spend some hours in lectures, I still had enough free time to code my way to finishing the requirement. So that made me feel a bit better for the day. I spent a lot of time in my head thinking about the concept of 'existential nothingness'. Yes, I'm still listening to those online lectures about enlightenment. I focused a bit on mindfulness practice just trying to be experience. Of course, thoughts and imaginations keep arising. I'm still very early in this journey, can't expect anything big yet. Although, I find Moojiji's spiritual lectures very entertaining. I first talked about this same lecture in Entry #02-22-16 by the way if you're interested in watching it yourself, very profound. King: "Nothing is higher than God!" Yogi: "Ah yes, but I am that." ^ Just an obscure reference from the video So that was my day, I liked this day. Not bad. Kinda felt good looking back. Nothing significant really happened but it was more positive than the average day I've ever had. Oh yes, I've decided to also start learning Japanese as it's a little ambition of mine. I've actually already started learning Japanese Hiragana symbols last year but that was very early in my personal development journey (I started last year so it was very very early). But I still didn't have the emotional framework to be able to remain emotionally invested for a really long time and so many other things happened and I eventually forgot about it. I've decided to start again from Lesson 1. I want to see how far I can go this time.

I see some people here claim science is no different from every other perspective. But I want to ask you, what is your real motive for taking such a neutral position? saying that science is 'only' a perspective. What are you trying to achieve by bringing down science? Do you want to sit zazen 24/7 and "become the perception" like a tree? A mindless perception that just 'is' like a plant. Really? is that all you got? How about the universe that needs to be explored? How about physics and math, how about countless other solar systems we know nothing about. Are we actually putting the state of 'empty mind' above a rational/analytical mind that analyzes things, measures things. This state of nothingness-awareness you are all so proud of looks to me more like ignorance than self-actualization. I mean yes, the fundamental nature of reality indeed may be nothing. But it doesn't mean you have to give up your rational capacity and live like a plant. Because giving up on your rational capacity is a mental suicide. We are born with an intelligence that is naturally creative. Is naturally curious, and is fascinated by the world. And then people who are so dramatically focused on enlightenment say "Don't think. Don't use your reason! Contemplate nothingness." So the alternative to a rational mind is this.. mystical, spiritual model. And this destructive philosophy is designed to take what is the most basic about the human experience, which is perception and turn the perception into the identity. Totally DENYING the rational capacity that organizes what is perceived, and then interacts with it intelligently. You see, the world makes sense! We live in incredible times. A lot of the leg-work has been done. So what would you like to create? What would you really like to do here? But sticking with perception only and saying that nothingness is your identity... Seriously, Just imagine the difference between a culture that idolizes staring at a wall and not moving for hours, and a culture that idolizes thinking and rational capacity. Who built the world? It is the people who did the thinking. Measuring. Figuring out how everything works. Who built the airplanes? Was it the people thinking, or was it the people attempting to escape the existence by defaulting to perception? 'defaulting' to consciousness.. Because that's the invitation to spirituality. It is to give up your intelligence, give up your capacity to think critically and become a vegetable. And even though that vegetable is relaxing, it's suicide! And if you don't care about living then that makes sense. That's why spirituality exists, because existence is terrifying. And since you don't want to THINK, and Examine and investigate and use your intelligence to overcome and deal with the problems in life, then you look for some spiritual 'answer', to do that for you.. and it works! Because its suicidal. You don't want to exist anyway so rather than taking courage to kill yourself you go towards spirituality, so that you can live a mental death. You can commit mental suicide.. Perception is nothing. Life is literally nothing without this rational capacity. Your capacity to choose, remember, analyze. That is what creates the world. And the fight you are up against, is the continual attempt to trade your intelligence for some kind of solution. And yet you don't realize that your natural intelligence IS your solution! The only problem with that is... You HAVE to THINK. You have to put effort in it. spiritual: - I am the perception.... rational: - yeah but we need to fix the refrigerator. spiritual: - you'll have to call somebody else. rational:- well how are you gonna eat? spiritual:- I don't know.. I am the perception... food will just come.. rational:- oh the roof is leaking! spiritual:- well that's okay I'll just perceive the water dripping on me... rational:- But you're gonna get hypothermia! spiritual:- It's okay... I'll just be cold. I am perception. <--- Nobody actually lives this way! Because we're REALLY intelligent. So perception is already the case, you're here. You exist. Now, what do you want to create? What do you want to explore? what are you curious about. The only problem with any of these questions is that in order to investigate them you HAVE TO THINK.. And you can. You can sit down and figure anything out. It might not be easy at first, but that's what learning is. You can do anything you put your mind to, INCLUDING commit mental suicide.. Through spiritual ideas of 'perception is my identity. I am nothingness.' It's the simplest way to feel like everything's okay. And it doesn't work, unless you want to die. Because it is mental suicide.. So please say no more about how science and reason is 'only' a perspective. It is much more than that. Science and reason is the fundamental essence of our existence on this planet as rational, intelligent organisms. And by downgrading the importance of rational capacity you are destroying the very essence of what it means to be an intelligent human being. That's all I had to say. You are free to share your thoughts...

But how do you accomplish anything here? Just say you have no free will and surrender? In theory I understand. How to live that I don't understand. Im so tired of not knowing who I am or what construction I am. It's like I know Im living a false reality, I know emotions are from ego, I know all these things. I don't know how to live these things and not make life choices. They say to stay authentic to yourself and who you are. I try but I still don't know who I am, when I get to trying to really figure it out I think, I am actually no one anyways I am just a bunch of nothingness. How do I find "I" if "I" don't even exsist.

"We are all One" 1. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GUfk2QnUfQc&index=1&list=PLDF642D086CDD2711 2. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y0OexbB-EXM&index=61&list=WL (the part with the particle experiment where it show how everything is truly one) 3. At the very core of our being we are all identical, in a way being the same is almost like being one but let's take it one step farther than that, what if we are not just the "Same" in the sense that we're identical but that we all share the exact same core except we can't see it on this 3 dimensional reality. Imagine a Light Orb and there's a bunch of 2d lines going out from it and we're all individual lines but we're all that exact same light orb, aka we're all one. In this example you can imagine that the fourth dimension is time (although I'm not sure if that'd be correct but that doesn't really matter for now) and we're all arriving from the beginning from the same "nothingness" but we think we are different from each other because in this 3d world we can only see the so called "present" and thus we can't see how we are all one on this level unless we bring that "Blast from the Past" in to the future (or vice versa as everything is cycling, waiting to return to source) to light up the world. 4. You contain the entire cosmos within you a thousand times over because the world is holographic (that one should also be explained in the second link)

There can actually be nothing in something else. This is all just your mind separating things, creating more and more tiny little objects and interplays of these objects to get a picture of the world. Me, as an computer scientist, we always try to define everything very correctly and narrowed down to the point. This is all good and nice to get shit working well in a conceptual nature like machines but this is not how the actually world is - I guess. The actual world could be probably more viewed as a big intermingle of one big object - if we want to use this label. So this object is me, you, everything in between, space every form of space and even nothingness. All one big thing. That's why there is no actual "watcher" in your head. It's more like that you have such an great inter-mingle in your head that it is even able to create new inter-mingles - called thoughts. But of course we get all mixed up by this because 99.9% of the people trap themselves in their own realities. It's kinda funny actually, if you look at it this way. We are such an "advanced" peace of the big inter-mingle, we can't even believe that we are part of it. So, point here is: Don't get caught up in concepts. The content of thoughts won't help you do get deeper to the roots. Kinda look more of what the essence of - what you are looking at - is. Get it as an intuitive perception, not as a narrowed down defined peace of the cake. Cuz It's just all cake. Thanks for this interesting conversation any ways, @Emerald Wilkins

You maybe wanna look into the nature of space. Your starting point could be something like "Space is the potential room that gives forms the ability to be born, exist and then die." That is really general and abstract. You can go very deep on several components of this statement. I personally find space extremely interesting and I often try to get a sense of it in meditation. What is space really? And then, if space exists there must be the other side of space. The opposite, because everything seems to come two-sided. So, what is non-space? What is non-existence and how could you possible wrap your head around something that by nature is not something. Is space a form itself or is it the place that allows forms to be? Is space 3-dimensional or does it even go higher in dimensions? Have you ever thought about that? I think that space itself, the relationship between existence and nothingness, is the starting point of all spirituality. How I see it, this is the point that allows spirituality to even be a possibility. Very interesting stuff. Is our world - how we can sense it - just a little tiny bit of an never ending fractal of possible realities all existing simultaneously and at the same "place"?

I believe the question is what do you need self help for. If its success and money then put emphasis on learning how to be successful. If you want to 'ascend' to a higher plane of existence, realize the whole nothingness philosophy and live in the woods, learn the things required for it. But i'd suggest you focus on the first one. But I have to say, that there is only 1 step separating theory and action. All you have to do is put all your mind to it, and make that step come true.

Yeah. Totally true. People just switch their vocabulary but underderlying is the same structure. It is possible with every concept, also the "neti neti" approach. "Everything is illusion", "i am the whitness", "i am", "nothingness", "emptiness", "unity", "Self", "no self", "here and now", "love", "bliss", "be still", "you are that"... Different traditions have different words and concepts which can be taught to a parrot which doesn't render him awake. Even though "he is also the one". Of course. "Have you read the bible?" today is like "Have you read 'I am That'?". And "have you heard of Jesus?" now is almost like "have you heard of Ramana?". Expressions and pointers of truth can quickly become just concepts if not spoken from truth. But they all can be amazing pointers if they are spoken from truth.

After thinking about the whole enlightenment thing for a while I've come to the conclusion that it's not for me. It seems interesting. I just don't see the point. I'm a great person. I'm not experiencing suffering. I'm developing. I'm working on my career. I dont see the point of getting in touch with the nothingness. If nothing has meaning and The real me doesn't exist and I'm fooling my self right now with my thoughts thinking that I'm who I am so I think I just want to live with fooling myself. Meaning as long as I know in the back of my mind that its not true so I might as well enjoy life and forget about trying to "experience" the "no-self". If life is meaningless and empty so why not just ride this horse of a body till I die at a hopefully very old age? For get about meditating and forget about trying to realize I don't exist..I'de rather live with the illusion of self at least for while Im here. It seems dumb to try to connect with the fact that I dont exist...seems like Im loosing valuable illusion time. If its true that when I die I will be that same nothingness that I am now without the illusion of the body...I might as well live out this illusion to the fullest and then be this nothingness when I die. Why should I try to be enlightened now? For the feeling...well it cant be for the feeling because its not a feeling according to what people are saying...its just plain conscientiousness...not my conscientiousness..just conscientiousness...but whats the point in that...Leo will say..."point? points are made up and don't exist...your ego is trying find a point" or something like that. I think I'de rather be a chimp. The illusion seems better than enlightenment. The enlightenment seems like darkness. Sound like a plan? Who's with me?

@emerald :Also, my perceptions aren't being perceived. Perceiving gives the implication that there is a sense mechanism to pick up on an external phenomenon. Perceptions are perhaps things-in-themselves. There is no perception happening. There is just content. Yes, there nothing perception, and this "nothingness" is the ground of all space -time, matter, molecules etc. This is the True Existential Self:)

I'm so happy to hear that. I think the emptiness/non-meaning words tends to block out love because how can there be nothingness, unconditional love, and particular loving relationships. It all seems very antithetical. But Jed is right in saying that all you should want from the experience is truth. Because all other notions, except radical truth, can block out the experience of enlightenment. If you come to it expecting unconditional love, you'll never get there, because you're preferring a future moment which is antithetical to unconditional love... because it's a condition. So, I think Jed omits it on purpose, much in the way a Zen Master remains reticent.

You should read the "On Having No Head" thread. You realize that you are not living in consciousness..... Because YOU ARE consciousness. You are not just the emptiness, or the nothingness in the room, you are the empty space and nothingness everywhere. You are the Universe.

I would like to share the physical symptoms I had a year and a half ago during the period I had total shift in my consciousness and realization. I'm sharing this because I was somehow confused when these symptoms first happen, but let please not fall into the illusion of having these symptoms if you haven't encountered any, we all naturally has a tendency to imagine when we read about any symptoms. just be conscious about what you read here and be honest with yourself about what you feel. Some of my symptoms are referred from Stewart Wilde Audio book (Journey Beyond Enlightenment), Adyashanti talks, and few websites/articles here and there, and I was able to refer to it within my personal experience. Please don't exactly believe what I'm writing here, keep in mind that some of these symptoms can be serious physical illness or deficiencies. This DOESN'T mean not to check the doctor! 1 - Twitches all over the body, Especially around the lower leg, At first I thought I might be having signs of ALS or Parkinson disease, I went to check several doctors, and they diagnosed it as stress.. that was nearly one and a half years ago, well if there was anything serious I think I should be on a wheel chair by now. 2 - Subtle numbness/tingling all over, it feels like little stars dancing around my body, especially around in my head and skull, although accompanied with comfort, they did not feel like serious illness or damage. I asked two doctors, one asked me if I took any drugs, I said no, later on they both diagnosed it as stress, although I was so far from being stressed (at least I think). 3 - Energetic electric shocks while trying to sleep: Sleeping patterns totally been messed up, I don’t feel that I need to sleep whenever I want to sleep, there is some energy that keeps waking me up each time I try to sleep. I couldn’t force myself to sleep, I was more energetic for doing something I have been wishing to do during my day, when I talked to a doctor, he stated these were not seizures, but stress, he asked me, “you look like an ambitious guy, but are you really doing what you really love during your day?” I couldn’t disagree. 4 – Transparent shiny colorful noise all over my vision: Accompanied with relief and bliss whenever I shift my attention to them, it’s a flickering transparent overlay layer that feels like coming from somewhere behind my eyes. And sometimes they take geometrical shapes if I focus in some ways, I had these since I was an innocent kid, but they faded away as I grew up, and now they are coming back even stronger along with my gradual awakening, I never knew if these are eye glitches or spiritual receptivity, I’m just aware that they become stronger in days where I feel relaxed, humble, surrendered, and I’m not so identified as the Mind or the Body. 5 – Clicking Sound around my head and neck: It could be nothing but some internal gas vesting or body liquids pumping , I'm noticing I'm have lots of these lately and this grabbed my attention because Stewart Wilde mentioned it in his -good but a little fairy talish- audio book (Journey beyond Enlightenment), and he described it as a Floppy Disk formatting noise, he said it’s divine information receptivity! I don’t want to believe, but I wanted to leave it open for speculation. 6 – Strong Sense of Distinction A strong sense of contrast between the physical happening and inner timeless silence, and a sense that what is happening here is way different that what is happening there. One feels like I’m in a 3D software, and the other is, just a realized nothingness, they are completely two different realms. the contrast becomes stronger when I walk, visit new places or do exciting physical actions with some inner attention. Again please don’t take these for granted, I think everybody’s experience is different, Stewart Wilde (and also Adyashanti) talked about many other symptoms that I did not experience myself. Now Tell us about your experiences, and what do you think!

I feel some sensations on the face sense I started to meditate, look's like the nose or other part's sometimes move themselves from their place to the side, than came back again to the place, I feel like nothingness feeling hemselve can you understand? Can someone explain that to me, do you feel the same? sorry about my english, it's crap

Yes @Water I had a nightmare in which I was without any identity. I didn’t have past, no future, no history and everything was completely black. There was nothing there but me. It happened not the whole dream, it wasn’t long, otherwise I would have died of a heart attack because it was so real for me. It happened at the moment I was about to get up, when I get up I never was so scared like that moment. I couldn’t think well. I forgot a lot of things, my wife called me a taxi and I decided to go to the hospital to see my psychiatrist (I was diagnosed with depression). And I was afraid of forgetting where I was going. I was in shock. At that time I didn’t know anything about meditation, or buddhism or anything. And it is now that knowing about others experiences that I understand that I was nothingness at that moment, but my mind wasn’t prepared for that. I will post about it on the journal section of the forum, probably this weekend.

I had something similar going on while meditating the other day late at night listening to an Alan Watts lecture. He really took the concept of our consciousness, all the sense perceptions and thoughts apart. While I was merging with what he said - I didn't really listen but took it unconsciously in and became his words - I suddenly experienced first-person that everything I see and sense in general is me. As you delve in the enlightenment ideas this is something fundamentally and makes of course a lot of sense if you think deeply about it. About nothingness and all that. However, it always is just an intellectual thought and nothing more. So, in this moment it felt like I had "ownership" of what I see and as if my focus stopped being narrowed in something before me but being "narrowed" on everything that I can see - which is kind of a paradox but made sense in that moment. It wasn't a hallucination - I encounter them a lot in deep meditative states - it was a sudden realization. As soon as this happened I wanted to grab it and it went away. That was really strange. It's always the same with me. As soon as some of these states manifest I have the automatic reaction to grab it and then it leaves. However, this is progress, dude. You start to get glimpses of something bigger than yourself. Cheers to you

I AM nothingness

Because enlightenment does not exist. it is a subjective idea. a form of belief that can not be proven to be different from a religious person that believes in god. Can you prove to me that enlightenment is something real? and not a fantasy inside ones mind? Now, of course ego is an illusion and the real you is everything that there is. Brahman. Nothingness.. Tathata. Ten thousand things, one suchness, we are all one suchness.. I understand all that. But nevertheless... why should we ever use the word 'enlightenment', 'path', 'journey'? Why do we make up these mysteries and then blindly believe in their reality? Knowing that ego is an incorrect way of defining oneself does not have anything to do with so called "enlightenment". Neither does understanding the concept of oneness have to do with enlightenment. Its better if we don't ever use that word at all. Because this is becoming ridiculous! absolutely silly and fanatical.

Enlightenment is a subjective idea. It is nothing other than a specific form of belief. Using the word "Path" or "Journey" makes it all sound mysterious. If something appears mysterious it only means we do not understand the subject well enough. The truth is the following: We are here, now. Humans define themselves in a way that is not in alignment with this universe. Meaning they falsely assume their made up identity (ego) is what they are. Why are we using the word "Enlightenment" at all? Why are we making up these words and believing in them as if though they existed. It exists only in form of belief. Nature and the universe has nothing to do with 'enlightenment', an idea existing only inside your mind. Just like a flying elephant. Can you prove to me that Enlightenment exists? What are you going to do, sit in zazen and present to me how thoughtless you are? Or will you bring up nothingness as an argument? And speaking of "disastrous consequences for the individual", are you actually denying the danger of being left out on the street because of being broke, after not taking the right actions in life to earn the money and sustain yourself financially? But oh right let me think, you probably don't agree that there is such a thing as being broke. Of course. Sleeping outside is also not a problem. All of these problems arise from the mind. The no-mind, or the 'Brahman' mind has no such definitions as broke or inside/outside. Sure! I understand where you are coming from. Is that why Leo Gura has one of the most successful businesses running on YouTube, and earning 6 figures? Because he truly disagrees that "not taking action in life leads to disastrous consequences"? I doubt very much that he achieved all this by such kind of 'spiritual' and impractical thinking. Now he created this forum and will probably put Advertisements on this site very soon. Gonna add a few figures more to his income. Oh yeah, Good Luck with your journey! have fun.

Great video, I just wish he hadn't stopped so quickly and explained the trees of good and evil, now he ended up just briefly touching upon it. Oh, boy, I could write an essay on that, hell if I was good at writing I'd probably make it a book Anyway let's start at the beginning and try to skim our way through as quickly as possible and without dabble in matters we/I know nothing about. In the beginning we lived in the garden of eden (we are born in to it in our minds and this world should follow the same rules through laws of nature - As Above So Below), at this time we were full of life and no sickness etc lived on the earth because our minds wouldn't pick up on any of that stuff, instead we fed on sun light in our perfection (and remember that this world is a strange one, it's actually kinda like a dream). Eventually we started to grow an ego and think about how everything should be like in the video above and we created laws of good and evil (which are complete bullocks) and as we started eating from the outside world (aka we ate in our egos, our laws, our fleshly pleasures etc) we forgot how we are nothing and became important and then our bodies deteriorate'ed. Why would this be necessary? Why not simply "Create" a more perfect being full of appreciation who would never forget and abandon the truth? Well that's not how things work and God isn't that kind of diety anyway who can sit there and consciously think about how he will program his subjects lol, he just is and his love animate shit inside of him in a way that our broken brains can probably never comprehend. So now we get to fight and push to become our greatest selves and learn to appreciate it through hard labor and once one have reached heaven through that path and gotten married in the bridal chamber (Gospel of Philip) one will never ever go astray again but be completely full of appreciation while living in Love and Truth. So we need the push and to evolve but does that mean this is Gods world we live in? Of course not, we've tried to do things our own way creating a cancer consciousness driven 100% by ego fighting for itself and it's own pride and this is the "diety" we refer to as Satan and yes he does indeed rule the world, this is his world and so when people say "Beware the New Age!" maybe instead we should have signs saying "Beware the Old Age" lol, not that the new age religion is any better but hey, let's be a little bit hopeful about this new "aquarian" age. Was that understandable? Set you on the path of discovery for yourself? PS. The only "Enlightenment" that is a trap by Satan is the informative kind, if you for example take my words for all that and never discover it for yourself and make a new religion out of it Satan got ya and he got ya bad Being trapped by Satan in a container is not completely false though, that's his purpose, he have just been doing a damn good job at it and the other aspects of your being have lost their power unfortunately and now the container itself (the ego) is God rather than the nothingness inside it.

@Bas & @OliverB Your comments are appreciated. I hope any further entries will be equally satisfying. @Soulbass I do not believe someones soul or spirit, are associated with one's mind even a psychological "soul". The soul perhaps contains the mind, but the spirit is everything. Soul can be seen as the trap bounding spirit to the physical, and the mind is the greatest trap stopping the soul from realizing spirit. Just this fundamental understanding can help you ascend to entirely new levels. Perhaps a certain seer may have the capabilities of looking into another mind, or they could be extremely intuitive which would also give enough of an influence to help unlock things. I would say there is a certain danger associated with having anyone else unlock you. What you're talking about reminds me an awful lot of DBZ where Guru wakes up Gohan and Krillin only to have them become over confident of their new found abilities and ultimately be defeated. Sadhguru warns of the issues associated with such an awakening, and from personal experience which I cannot discuss at this juncture (not because I don't want to, but because there are legal entanglements) I must agree. "What if someone touches you and causes you to progress immediately? Automatically you have gone from the clerk to the CEO of your own existence, but you're not aware of the change, of the functions, how would you handle it? The body must be prepared to handle such an amount of energy, if the body is not sufficiently prepared something will break and you will fall back down. Better to build a staircase and climb it, than jump into ecstasy, fall down lost and feel like you can never get back. This leads only to misery." (Paraphrased and not nearly correctly from Sadhguru). As far as the muse goes, I believe this entirely correct (though a limited analogy). I believe it is correct because the existence as it is portrayed at the moment is not your fundamental existence. You are experiencing a creation, the entirety of this creation is complete. It is a single complete object, and the creator has made it that way. You may find peace and allow grace to flow through you, but that too is a trap in many ways. There is something far beyond this, which may be transcended only by jumping into nothingness. Realizing ones self, opening the third eye, and ascending intellectually is what most refer to as enlightenment, but true enlightenment is to go even further beyond, to become boundless, to jump into it completely and be boundless. Only once you have no bounds may you truly be your own creator, only then can anything possibly "new" or your "own" be created. Which brings me to my last point, I have relatively little interest in identifying with any of the powers enlightenment grants. They were lucrative and lured me for a long time, but what purpose would there be to break out of this trap only to be trapped in another which only pretends to be more "powerful"? Time travel is one such trap, it is the desire to change or experience something from the same egoistic mind-frame, this inadvertently traps you to the ego. I'm not saying it's bad to enjoy the thought or even the experience, but you must recognize why the thought is enjoyed and ensure that it does not trap you. The goal is the extricate yourself entirely from being bounded, to stop being a slave to thingness. It cannot be completed as long as their is some desire to be an object. This is why I mentioned that in a lot of ways the experience I had of the fourth dimension is a trap, I have absolutely no doubt in my mind that I am reaching a juncture where multiverse travel is possible. That being said exploring a multiverse would just be a multitude of new possibilities designed for one thing, to enslave me further into identification. Identification is the biggest trap, it is the biggest thing holding us back. The mind is the machine, and the self will propagate any fantasy or trauma that could possibly hold your attention long enough to identify. That is what must be broken through.

It is as much "mine" as everything is me. I only said "mine" within the knowing that it's me who keeps going on with it. There were more people in the beginning asking it,but they quickly withdrew from Forum to enjoy their nothingness in bliss I of course got it from my Guru, My father, Moojiji who has completely undone the person and left the me open, spacious and free

Conscious simply is being aware of what you are doing right now, in a basic daily level, when you are asleep, you are not totally conscious about what is happening around you. And when you dream at night, the dream looks so real so you are not conscious that you are dreaming. Same thing with daydreaming, you are not focusing in your task because your mind is thinking about something else, so you are not being conscious. In spiritual awakening, it's also the same meaning but it goes into deeper levels, it's referred as awakening from the dream of reality, which is made by mental projections. The more conscious you are, the more you will realize that the physical life as we know it is some kind of human mental projections, and things actually are not as they seems to us as humans, in a deeper level (which is enlightenment) all reality will collapse and the only thing left is your true nature which is pure timeless consciousness(Aka present, presence, or the Now, the nothingness, God, Spirit, Higher self, Allah, Shiva, Universe, Space) Terms may vary due different teachings but the essence is one.

@Algi Perceiving some higher ideas doesn't mean you can't be understanding and compassionate about your family or friends interests, ideas and so on. You can realize they are on a different level from you and plant a seed for them to start looking at same things from a bit different perspective. No need for dramatic explanation to them how they are not body and mind but nothing more than nothingness. You can just point out to them things which help them to do next step in their life and have interesting discussion there as well. I actually found to be more close to my family after raising my conciseness and could better feel them and find common topics for discussion.