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@Henri Well that's too bad. Let me tell you where I'm coming from. I have a friend that is dying with cancer. The doctors didn't give him much time. He is just a regular guy that got the devastating news that his life will be ending very soon. Imagine for a moment that something that was safe and controlled like bio-feedback could bring a sense of peace and bliss to his life and would show him that no matter what happens, it is going to be all right. If he could experience what long term meditators experience in his short time he has, that would be a blessing. I wish everyday that he could experience the peace and bliss that there is something beyond what we normally experience as a personal self. As of now that can only be done through administering drugs.

Leo's new video, "Grasping the illusory nature of thoughts", hit home for me. Thoughts imprison the mind and conciously mastering the hold on a thought(s) that have on the self allows one to break free of the mind. Exploring the true nature of the Self, Mind and Consciousness is the realization of not knowing, thereby attainment of actualization in knowing that we don't know. The process of Enlightenment has always excited me. But the feeling of dread arises the more I think about the loss one must experience on this path. Is it enough to know that all that we are is not what it is to be? To have initially wanted to believe in a meaning to life, but then to realize that all this "meaning" is the illusion that is spun by the Thoughts of the Mind. We long for meaning to give us a sense of purpose and yet to realize this truth is to realize that the purpose is to let go of the meaning that make-up our thoughts. Meanings are an illusion. In all my experience of loneliness, I feel like I have never felt all the more as I do now.... I suppose I've always known the cost in embarking on this journey, but I was distracted by the thought that in attaining enlightenment, I could attain true content and happiness and a sound mind. Another "thought" ruling my mind. Can't actualize without letting go of one's illusory construct of reality. Our reality is how we know the Self...the self is all we know. "Ignorance is bliss" comes to mind. To stay connected to our "reality" as we know it, and this knowing allows us to feel comfortable with meanings to live by. Or, to self-actualize and grow as a Being by learning to grasp the mastery of control by severing the hold of the Self imposed by the Ego. The problem with either route is that I simply go from feeling humanly lonely to complete and utter ultimate lonliness. I feel like I cannot become an effective contributer in my future vocation if I cannot master this level of control, which is at the expense of becoming more lonely. How can I see this conclusion of mine differently? I would really love some insight to this dilemma of mine...

@khalifa i would advise to start with your body (really the only 'thing' you truly own). Get fit. Furthermore...you already said what you want. " i want to just generally help people out " That's a very noble goal. Go for it. Don't limit yourself to engineering. About living carefree and not worrying about bills etc. You're absolutely right. Remember...a man/woman is rich when all his/her desires are met. İf you desire a ferrari or a bike...makes a huge difference. A minimalistic lifestyle is a bliss.

@Huz88 "Thoughts are virtually silenced" but they are still there in the form of awareness. Awareness is also thought. There is nothing to attain spirtually except the thought that there is nothing to attain Buddha himself is quoted as saying something like this (guess he is quoted as saying something like"he gained nothing from enlightenment" but i dont want to google it now). You can change thoughts and thats all you can do. Everything is as real as you think it is and as important as you think it is. Enlightenment, i dont know what that is but the way i think it someone who thinks he is as special and important as anything in the unverse is someone who is in tune with his existence. About strong sitting meditation i stumbled upon a youtube video of a budhist monk who is a monk since he was 12 or something, meditating all the time duiring his teen years in Sri Lanka. In his early 20s he went to USA and he talked about getting furious on the bus because the bus was full and nobody gave him the seat and in Sri Lanka people stand up for the monks. He said he got so mad he told other monk he wouldnt stay in USA. Took him time to calm down and tame his ego. What i want to show you with the previous example is that you can try to do whatever people tell you should do in terms of meditation but until you understand how useless it all is for thought transformation, it will do more harm than good. The way i think it you are better off thinking about what is meditation and what is thought in its various forms than trying to shut down thought just because of what others think. Write a prisoner with solitary confinement experience about strong sitting meditation and see what he will tell you. Many guys in prison locked up 23 hours a day meditate a lot and get into yoga but they dont become spiritual gurus because of it, or experience permanent bliss because of it. They can think they are out and free through meditation but only for a while. Only the ones who go crazy (crazy meaning unable to function and survive efficiently) will claim they are elightened, special, in perpetual bliss tec etc. I think about how insignificant everything and everyone on earth was before they existed and how insignificant everything and everyone will be after this planet is gone. This thought has always helped me put everything in perspective. Im not special and i will never be. Nobody is. Show me someone who doesnt need to breath to keep the heart pumping and i show you someone unique, special, who has something no mamal in the universe has. Show me someone who claims he never lied or lies and i show you a liar. Here is a video of the monk who told the bus story. One of his videos, i dont know if its the bus one.

Saarah, You wake up each morning...you have awakened. Where did you come from when you awoke this morning? Where were you in deep sleep? Unlearn all the conditioning of how to be happy. An unconditioned 5 year old child Inhabits bliss with a rubber spatula for hours. "Pee" as Ajax mentioned, question yourself as Corte has, charlie2dogs has offered help as well. Quiet the mind, the hair on your head doesn't require thoughts to grow.

04/29/16 I went to the Lorna Jane store yesterday. I bought myself a new workout outfit. I have to motivate myself to stay healthy and strong. Because I'm worth it. Before my meditation, I had to put some sucks on because my feet were really cold. Ok, I'm ready to begin now! I'm not here for power and control. I'm here to serve others. I'm here to be obedient. I will share everything that I receive with all of you. In order for you to receive, first you must empty yourself. You need to become an empty vessel. Is there vessels that are available? Where are my vessels? I need vessels of every shape and size. Tall and short, wide and narrow. I need my vessels of every color. Dark ones and the light ones. I need vessels that are transparent and the vessels that are opaque. There is so much that is coming. I must be obedient, I must share all that I receive. I must focus my mind. I must open my ears. I must open my heart. I must have a clear throat. I must surrender fully. I must receive new rare seeds. I must learn how to water them. I must learn how to nurture and care for theme. I feel so much bliss right now. I feel pure intelligence flowing through me. Prepare vessels for me that are of the forest and of the sea. Vessels that are of the earth and the air. Pure vessels and impure ones, all vessels are needed. Prepare vessels that are whole and the vessels that are broken. The vessels that are sick and the vessels that are healthy. Vessels that are alive and the vessels that are dying. Make these vessels deep for your oil to flow into. All vessels are needed. I connected myself with the Devine and, I interceded for all the vessels to be prepared. Everyone who will hear my worlds, these vessels will be emptied and prepared. I was receiving powerful energy, that was flowing through me. The energy was rippling out of me in the powerful way. Life itself was in him/her, and this life gives light to everyone. John 1:4 What was with the rain and the thunder storm tonight? My pet cat was so afraid, she was hiding under the blanket. (Sorry, this was really random,)

For what I learned it is similar to TM (Transcendental Meditation), but it won't empty your wallet. This is my fifth day practicing this meditation, this is what I wrote on facebook a few days ago: "Today I experienced samadhi (pure consciousness or pure awareness) for the first time. It was one of the best experiences of my life. Life changing. I'm not the same anymore. The curious thing is that I wasn't looking to experience this while I was meditating, I just followed the steps and it just happened to me. I experienced total well-being, bliss. It was a beautiful thing. It felt so very good, like nothing I have experienced before. What did it, is this type of meditation called NSR (Natural Stress Relief), which is a very easy and simple technique, that makes all the difference in the world, I can't even believe it. I had this experience on just the second day of trying this new meditation. Totally different from the previous method I was using for 500+ times, which was a form of mindfulness. With NSR I felt so so relaxed, very deep, I've never felt so relaxed in my whole life. But it's not just feeling relaxed, it's an indescribable peacefulness, so very sweet. Ha, I can't even believe what I'm saying. But that's what I experienced. I just wish that others could feel what I felt. This is a total game changer for me." It looks like, at least for me, this type of mantra meditation has worked. I really wanted the mindfulness meditation to work, but I didn't get that deep into it. akbal

Neither being alone or being with your friends is the answer. Sure, you shouldn't spend all of your time submerged in negativity, but there is probably a lot you can learn from them. A way that you can go a little deeper within yourself is to try to remain completely aware of the situation you're in, the people you're around, and realize the bliss of the moment. I think a good balance between solitude and socializing (no matter who it is) is necessary, as with anything. It's almost like two realties at once. Your inner reality where you are content and aware with everything happening around you and open to new experience, and the outer reality of your environment where your oblivious friends are playing in. I find that when I categorize people as negative, I'm cutting myself off from experience that I need. Keep in mind, I say negative as in people who aren't aware as you, or have bad mental habits. If they are engaging in illegal or detrimental acts, by all means stay far away. I too have no friends who I consider aware, but that has no effect on my own awareness. I continue to grow myself regardless of the people around me. I know it may be impossible with some people, but maybe suggest doing something with your friends like spending time in nature, or slowly introduce them to subjects (psychological, spiritual, scientific etc.) that might help them to get on the same path as you.

"Do Nothing" + strong determination sits seem to look so easy to you on the surface but you don't see what they bring up. These simple practices put you through a lot of cycles of "now you see it" / "now you don't". And in the latter one you sometimes think you get mentally ill from this work. So yes, it's brutal at times up to the point where you built up enough awareness so that you notice there is something that is ever-present. And then you investigate that and it seems that it is the only no-thing that can be you and that it was "always in front of you". And when that point is reached, you get it why some people say: "There is nothing you can do to see it. Because the very thing you really have to do to see it, is stop wanting to see something and then notice what remains." But to come to this realization a lot of de-hypnotization needs to be done for a lot of people (me included). When this happened, life and this journey becomes a lot easier. Within this journey so far I had 7/8 months of complete terror and I'd say 4-5 months of silence and bliss so far. I needed the terror and it was brought up by "Do Nothing" and strong determinations sits to build the awareness.

Exactly! Life has no purpose,Life in itself is the purpose. This is a state of bliss but the test comes when the Tax Man knocks at your door. When IRS calls.How one would react? Enlightenment is the end of suffering. It's a state of permanent bliss.

Wanted to stop by and share with you my great mood and this bliss I am experiencing now. This is so strange because just yesterday I had a big empty hole within me (I have been contemplating on life purpose and realizing there is none). I can not wait till watch this video about Existential Crisis promised by Leo last time. This morning I had an insight that it is such a miracle to be a part of this reality, just see the sun in the window of my office, be a part of humanity, just being among my colleagues. You know guys, for some reason, I thought about all those people who died recently in air crushes, in Brussels, dying at war…..and that’s it for them. I think I still struggle to penetrate this knowledge of one time and only one opportunity to be alive! Feels like I am going to live forever. Is it even possible to grasp this fully, or some kind of defensive mechanism preventing us from this knowledge?

Addiction: Avoidance of Nothing Date: 4/20/16 Time: 8:03 PM - 8:54 PM Day #: Day 2 Feelings Felt Psychologically: Bliss,Confusion Feelings Felt Physiologically: Some neck strain Questions You Asked Yourself: Wtf is going here? Who am I? Why is this happening? Who am I suppose to meet? Is my Life Pre-determined How Do You Feel After Your Session?: The sessions weren't complete, they had disturbances and were made of 20 minute chunks due to the disturbances. I felt a lot of confusion as to what's going on.

Addiction: 2 days of Pmo Date: 4/20/16 Time: 8:18 PM - 8:54 PM Day #: Day 1 Feelings Felt Psychologically: Distress Feelings Felt Physiologically: Not many feelings Questions You Asked Yourself: Why am I doing this, how will this benefit me, why did I start watching porn and am forcefully yet consciously trying to destruct myself? How Do You Feel After Your Session?: I broke down crying, the porn was just a form of self sabotage, I was trying to destruct myself so I could feel intense feelings of bliss and alleviate suffering, so I needed to be enlightened, to be one with the void. Suicide was the answer, now I know what I was chasing, an escape from a very,very deep neurosis ; Clarity

My motivation = everlasting existence without beginning or end. Oh and the imperturbable peace/bliss thing sounds pretty cool too

@Mat Pav Thanks for your reply from `Down Under` mate... On comments; ok, I can agree, nothing wrong to be meant. On teachers and beliefs; talking from enlightenment-perspective on teachers and beliefs. In a way everyone is your teacher, starting with your mom when you are born. Beliefs are always open to discussion, just because it`s a belief. Belief is a means, never a goal. On drugs; I`m experienced. Weed, Ganja, LSD, mushrooms, cocaine and XTC. I used to work in `coffeeshops` in Holland. I grew my own weed. All my life I was very much interested in, like you, everything that`s got to do with the mind, psychology, trans-personal stuff, philosophy and the Huxley-gang. So I know where you guy`s are after when doing psychedelics, there`s nothing strange about that. It`s just that I very consciously had to experience the consequences also. When giving up, sitting down to find out truth, living in ashrams I was forced to endure those consequences and I can tell you it was hell. The shit that came out physically, mentally, emotionally was exhausting. The pranayamakosha was almost ruined. For weeks I had nightmares where I before never even remembered a dream. Meditation was hell, `demons` rising up and much more shit. Experiences I had while under influence of drugs where still alive in my head, coming back all the time but now twisted and formed in other shapes. Due to great luck, good fortune or good karma I met someone who gave me a total cleansing up process to undergo. This was my salvation though it took 6 weeks to accomplish. Years later I had the bliss to enter the state of Samadhi. And from my experience mate, I can tell you that it is of another category than psychedelics. Had I before the opinion that heaven on earth was my experience to live with my love on the beach in Goa, tripping almost every day, than I knew heaven on earth is really something else. So the warning about drugs is out of experience though I am able to understand you all out there. And I am telling you that tripping has got nothing to do with the state of Samadhi. So if you are after enlightenment, do not take drugs. If you just want the good life, go for it.

A hedonic electricity strikes my body from head to feet. The absolute symptom of diviness shines through. All tears were well deserved for this moment. Every challenge was just right. Every frenetic journey of the mind is now destroyed into the fire of Completion. I arrive at the peak of my inner mountain ecstatic and spellbound by the view. Nobody, not even death, cannot destroy this prehistoric Miracle of Mine. I’m One With All , every gaze I look I see myself, every bird , every shadow, every dream and every nightmare, ME, recognized, shining through, sitting on the inner Rock of Solitude, admiring my wondrous work! I am the One Unseen Unfathomable and Unbroken . A sweet, divine pride strikes my body! An unspeakable Bliss caresses me! For this moment I lived thousands of agonizing lives. This is the highest bliss, the recognition of Self as profound Love and Divine Lust, the recognition of Self as the everpresent Awareness , timeless time and spaceless space!

@The Village Idiot I love how dedicated you are with your five hour daily meditations and i love how you're experimenting with meditation techniques and how you feel the deep bliss and the benefits of meditation. I'm also glad that you enjoy meditation which is a great motivator to continue your meditation.

@Richard Alpert Spirituality is about up-lifting the spirit. In a healthy `spiritual` way one has to undergo specific training before even have the possibility to get to the point to experience Samadhi. This training is essential. You are preparing your 4 kosha`s (bodies) and work with body, mind, intellect and the energy, the prana. It`s like building a house, you first need a good foundation. In that sense it is possible to get to the top of the house without even having a foundation that is ready. Off course. You can take a ladder and climb 10 meters high to join the view. But it`s dangerous, you can easily fall down. The reason so called enlightened ones fall down doing ordinary human stuff like the common stories about teachers having sex with their pupils is just because of that. They never build a good foundation, it`s just waiting for their karma to get activated. So would you call someone who climbed the ladder a spiritual person? Would you call him a good constructor? I would call him ignorant and fooled, though their experiences can off course be profound to the untrained eye. The video about Ram Dass telling his experiences with mushrooms is a good one. He is having this amazing experience with his ego, his personality and the transcendence of it. Sure it`s spectacular. The funny thing though is that Ram Dass is so immersed in telling how his experience was, telling all the little details of it, how transforming it all was to him. But it is in no way comparable with experiencing Samadhi. You have ever heard someone talk that way when coming out of Samadhi? No, it`s a total different category. The first Samadhi you`ll experience is when in the building process the highest point is reached. You can walk up the stairs and enjoy the view all around from different viewpoints. You see easily the still unfinished work in a very safe way. And the biggest difference is that when you come down the stairs to join the other constructors you are not going to tell them what an amazing experience you have had. No, you point them out what`s the work still to be done. You support them with their own unfinished jobs and you`ll do that with compassion, love, joy, where in no way any `I` is involved. You have become the perfect teacher and manager, the one who knows. So we can argue if the view on top of the ladder is comparable with the view on the rooftop. To my opinion it`s not and I state that with the same video about Ram Dass. In Samadhi there is no room for bad trips, fear and anxiety. Samadhi is total bliss, Sat, Chit and Ananda.

@Ross If you don't get into enlightenment work straight away it can be really useful to practice some pre-spiritual philosophy. Ask yourself questions like: What is thought? What is a belief? What is language? What is success? What is truth? What is right/good or wrong/bad?? What is a purpose? What is desire? What is time? What is reality? Who am I? What makes me, me? If you keep these questions open and you start gathering answers to them from a wide variety of sources your belief structure will stay flexible and you will naturally be more open-minded. This will make things easier later on. Speaking from personal experience (I'm doing this young) it has been BRUTAL, but I can say that nothing can compare to some of the things I have experienced. I once watched a leaf falling from a tree and went into a state of bliss so deep I thought I would actually die.

When there is that state of pure self or pure being, the bliss of that experience arises from the very fact that there is no content. Empty awareness is being experienced. But so is time. I have a general idea of how long I have been in that state. That's the part that I kind of have a problem with, time. All I can suggest is try experiencing what I am talking about and decide for yourself. Or maybe you have already. It does feel a lot like when deep sleep happens. But I remain in my posture. My head doesn't nod or anything. Just for the hell of, try it sometime. When your in that deep state of silent bliss beyond all thought and there is just a silent witness, dissolve into it. See what happens.

WOW lot of you's and I's in there, is that what non duality is???? there is no mention of I in ones post on this particular thread. check out ones original post on subitism where's the bliss. there is no I.

@Infinite "Am I not understanding here". Same question. Could each of our minds be just a refection of each other? Two mirrors facing each other? "When one is unaware". What becomes unaware? That's the paradox. What remains or returns to know that a total void happened while meditating? There is no experience or awareness to bring back but something remains to know that. Non-existence is beyond all "known" awareness. Awareness is a part of the manifest realm as far as what we are discussing as mind and knowing. Does pure awareness continue to be present within the non-manifest/void? Mind will never know that. I've experienced a state of pure being. Nothing but the pure bliss of empty awareness ( Samadhi?) But mind can recall all of the experience. Samadhi being a state of bliss, a bridge between the mind and the absolute void of non-existence?

Nothing I have written is true. I can only write from awareness of experience and knowledge and there are limitations to both. I can only speak within language and there limitations to language. Satan has absolutely nothing to do with what I'm writing about, sin and love have nothing to do with it either. There is only an omni-present awareness of nothingness. I quote "You twist everything with your beliefs and the lense in which you see reality and the filters in your mind" There are limitations to beliefs and there are limitations to the you that you call yourself. Any feeling other than the unconditional love enshrouded in reality and you are in disaccordance to your existential nature or being you could say. Is it making sense now? I'm talking on another plain, your existential existence and the realization of nothingness. My entire post is very nihilistic. But you only perceive it that way. You see things negatively, but there is nothing to be negative about, there is only unconditional love ever-present in realty. Your self image is blinding you from seeing this. Imagine being ever present in pure bliss for eternity. This isn't some Eutopean fantasy. Your level of awareness blinds you from seeing it. It's with you now, it has always been with you. Your entire life is a distraction from even being aware of it. But your existential being always knows it is there buried deep down or hidden in the core of your soul. You spend your whole life chasing your own tail. You are trapped in the neurosis of your mind if you aren't the very pure awareness of it. Don't fool yourself, you are not ready. Even as I write this I am not even close to ready, not even on the tip of the iceberg of it. This is all just cute philosophy according to what I am speaking of. There are limitations to knowledge. Knowledge is completely irrelevant. What we refer to as knowledge now, does not see outside the limitations of knowledge. Imagine being able to accept any energy that comes in your existence. Be able to be every single emotion in it's purest form. You block out the energy of others. It goes against your belief and you experience disconnection to unconditional love. This is why everyone has flaws, every being has a different personality and existential existence. Everything and everyone are connected. Connected deeply to the core of reality. Everything is reality and everyone is reality, unseparated. Unconditional love which is deep in the soul of every being and all of reality is the only thing that can connect us back to our deepest being. Which is why you can see the fiction of all beliefs. Beliefs create the very feelings you feel. Wouldn't you rather be relaxed and blissful in unconditional love in the ever-present moment? No, because you don't drop these beliefs, they are so woven into your self image. You use all your energy in an endless loop preserving your self image. You have a unique way in which you see and think how the world works. You will give your all to preserve your self image, defending it until your deathbed. You dislike the way people are and you are just waiting for the world to change, not realising that reality is already perfection. Change yourself and the world will change. But did anything really change, or do you just see it differently now? Relaxation is what you are. Stress is what you think you should be. The way people interact with you now is completely different. Did they change? No. You missed so much in people. You missed so much in yourself. You have context completely fly over your head. You don't see the beauty in every soul and the majesty of reality. "You hold that there is no God and also many other beliefs about how reality works, like for example that objects are made out of atoms. And these beliefs are fictions! Yet you don't drop these beliefs precisely because they are woven into your self-image to such an extent that if you ever did succeed in dropping them, your very existence as a human being would come into question. "You" would literally die. The body would remain. Which is called enlightenment (AKA God). So actually we could say that your atheism is directly preventing you from seeing God. That's the language that a Zen Master or Yogi might use. But which is often misconstrued by pre-rational and rational people as mysticism or fairytales. Notice how you start off by saying, "I am an atheist." In fact, "you" are a fiction equivalent in absurdity to a bearded man in the clouds. So the very first words out of your mouth are already false! And this is not a mere triviality or ad hominem attack, this is THE WHOLE point! Every false belief creates the sense of YOU. And that's all YOU care about, is protecting YOU! As long as you feel comfy, as long as YOU are alive, all is good. If not, all hell breaks loose. If I call you a racist idiot, your psyche automatically puts up a defense without even considering that you might be one. Notice that your very criterion for truth is an emotion of comfort and security. If it makes you feel secure and more like a real self, it is called true. Otherwise, false. But in actuality, truth is irrelevant to you. Yet you tell yourself otherwise. And so this one assumption has already tainted the very foundation of all "your" reasoning. You will now live your whole life (which isn't yours by the way) -- just like the religious person -- and NEVER question this assumption seriously. So your epistemic position is IDENTICAL to an Islamic fundamentalist. Like seriously! I'm not kidding. This shit is real and it's happening to you right now as you read this very sentence. And sadly, even as you start to suspect this, the illusion and dogma is so deep you still can't break free! Tomorrow, after this discussion is long forgotten, you will slip back into unconsciousness, back into fundamentalist illusion, dismissing one as a crackpot and all this as cute philosophy. And yet, you will also live for the rest of your life in fear of the truth, distracting yourself with every form of distraction invented by man just so long as you can avoid doing the investigation I'm telling you to do. You do intuitively sense that your life is a lie, right? That your life is a distraction from this truth? Your career, your girlfriend, your family, your friends, your favorite movies -- all of it is a distraction from this one thing: your fear of death. Which of course you should fear, because you are a fictional entity. You fear death as much as the fundamentalist fears having his religion questioned. That's not a coincidence. That's because you two share the very same ego structure! Yes, one can apply logic and reason to see the inherent limitations of logic and reason and thus transcend it. You are aware of Godel's Incompleteness theorem, yes? Which proves that every sufficiently complex language system (i.e., math, logic, science, English) is inherently incomplete, meaning that there are truths that exist outside of every language which are real but cannot be demonstrated within the system? Kinda a big deal, huh? But conveniently swept under the rug. You don't get to spirituality through faith. You get to spirituality through rationalism. Spirituality is what occurs when rationalism eats itself alive, like the snake eating it's own tail. Once the snake eats itself, nothing remains. And that's what spirituality is: the realization of Nothingness. But none of this can make sense logically because you're trying to use logic to make sense of itself without realizing what logic actually is. It's not what your ego tells you it is. It's like you're trying to fix a defective microscope by using another defective microscope. This, in a nutshell, is the entire absurdity of the science vs religion debate. ( @Leo Gura, actualized.org)"

Finished up all the formal sitting for the day. The first 4 hours weren't very enjoyable. Though I know from experience that I'll usually experience extreme bouts of bliss and tranquility after unbearable sits. The 5th hour of sitting was quite enlightening. A few thoughts such as "How lucky I am to be on this path." and "It gets better than this?" would cross my mind. Accompanied with a strong celebrative joyous feeling in my chest. Sometimes the few hits of contentment, peace of mind and exuberance are all I need to stay vigilant during those grueling sits. We'll see what tomorrow holds.

@Neill great answer, dude! I'm studying computer science and I'm normally doing a lot of very abstract math or programming myself. I see it the following way: First of all, this is my number one passion. I love to see great structures that begin to live if I execute my programs. For me that's pure magic. Also, I'm totally in flow and love the stuff I do. If that is the case for you as well, why not go on? Doing anything isn't devilish per definition. You can and some say should use any task to realize your own being. If that's meditation, great. If that's walking around, great. Cooking, having sex, conversations, programming? All great. It's about how you go about it. Will you forget enlightenment and go back to the normal world living in the matrix or do you use your passions and interests to embody and see your true nature? So, you have to decide for yourself. However, on the long run I can also see your point with living the simple life. For me personally, my plan is to integrate my enlightenment work with my passions for now (I'm 20 years old) and then later I plan to shift it more into probably being a yogi, just sitting all day somewhere in Canada out in nature, experiencing pure bliss (or maybe in a Zen monastery, who knows yet). But this takes some planning and I have enough time left to really hit my passions deeply at first and then use the wealth I built to shift to the simpler life. So, that's my plan.