lightnessofbeing

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About lightnessofbeing

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  1. @cetus56 thanks
  2. @Preety_India thank you. Very compassionate and wise response.
  3. @Nahm did you just compare a human being that perpetrated rape multiple times with a stove? This is beyond my comprehension . You cannot reason with an object but with a human being I hope you can. Otherwise nice quote. @Nahm @Nahm @Nahm
  4. Hello fellow psychonauts Just watched Self Love episode and struggling with past rape trauma.Few years ago I was in a relationship with a relatively loving man. At some point in our four year relationship I had severe depression during which I had zero libido. He pursued sex with me multiple times during which I was crying from the beginning till the end of the act, then going to the bathroom vomiting and crying. I knew he enjoyed my pain and felt hurt, but could not stop him because at the moment my self love was totally absent. At the same time I could really empathize with his sadistic side, even love him at his lowest point. When recovered, I never talked to him about these painful experiences, but broke up with him instead. Still, my pain, confusion, guilt, shame and anger are not resolved.My question for you is, how do I reconcile Self Love with bitterness for him and myself (for not setting boundaries) ? I do not want to keep being trapped in past pain but find it hard to forgive. I sometimes have fantasies or revenge. Not violent revenge, just doing something, maybe confronting him or going public with his name. Please help. Thank you for your time.
  5. A hedonic electricity strikes my body from head to feet. The absolute symptom of diviness shines through. All tears were well deserved for this moment. Every challenge was just right. Every frenetic journey of the mind is now destroyed into the fire of Completion. I arrive at the peak of my inner mountain ecstatic and spellbound by the view. Nobody, not even death, cannot destroy this prehistoric Miracle of Mine. I’m One With All , every gaze I look I see myself, every bird , every shadow, every dream and every nightmare, ME, recognized, shining through, sitting on the inner Rock of Solitude, admiring my wondrous work! I am the One Unseen Unfathomable and Unbroken . A sweet, divine pride strikes my body! An unspeakable Bliss caresses me! For this moment I lived thousands of agonizing lives. This is the highest bliss, the recognition of Self as profound Love and Divine Lust, the recognition of Self as the everpresent Awareness , timeless time and spaceless space!
  6. Louis Lambert by Honore de Balzac !
  7. Yes, maybe i could gradually turn my studying into meditation, thank you@Ludwig
  8. Good evening dear actualized friends! I want to ask you for any tips because after my meditation my awareness is too much disidentified with my cognitive aparratus and i find it difficult to concentrate on my studying! Any tips? Thank you
  9. Athens, best regards to all from Greece!
  10. the poet Jalaluddin Rumi “The way of love is not a subtle argument. The door there is devastation. Birds make great sky-circles of their freedom. How do they learn it? They fall, and falling, they're given wings.”
  11. Gangaji, Ken Wilber, Gourdjieff