Search the Community

Hi, I am "stuck" in this area in my life, and according to Maslow I need to get friends, love, sexual intimacy, etc. The thing is that I haven't found any worthy friends yet, I even ditched all my "friends", I stopped talking to them like 6 months or 1 year ago because I noticed that they weren't real friends, just people I hanged out with sometimes, and that they are very very unconscious, their only pleasure in life is sex, drugs, tv shows and food, all the meetings used to be to drink alcohol, smoke weed, eat trash food and watch a movie or something like that. So yeah, really useless relationships which I got rid of, but now I am left with 0 friends, which for me is not a problem, I am a very lonely person and I love being with myself and introspecting, thinking about life, I love thinking and I love my imagination, I don't need human interactions as far as I'm concerned. In the area of love I'm in the same place, I'm 25 and virgin by the way, didn't have sex yet because of a wrong psychology, wrong mindsets, insecurities, and also a lack of interest in investing time and effort in it. But I also feel fine here, I can masturbate if I feel urges and I don't feel empty at all, I don't feel that necessity of feeling loved and having a companion, I felt that void a couple times like 7 years ago, but no more. I find relationships a waste of time, specially since nobody I've met thinks like me. I am an alien in this society, I love psychology, I study weird self-actualization things, I don't watch tv at all, I don't watch sports, I don't do sports, just gym, I have nothing in common with society. Every time I am around people the conversations are soo boring that I end up daydreaming, playing with my thoughts or studying how the people around me behave which is much more interesting than the conversation. So I am opening this thread because according to Maslow's hierarchy of needs I can't keep going in my self-actualization journey unless I solve this, which for me is really hard to solve btw, because in the first place I don't feel like there is a problem to solve. I even got much more time for my self-actualization thanks to this "lack" of relationships... Is it really that important?? Even if I feel just fine on my own and I enjoy my free time doing things to better myself?

Can people relate to that feeling when you want to do something and finally get yourself together and pursue this something, but am faced with social resistance in the face of which you begin to doubt yourself intensely - is what you fight for even right, good, worthwhile, etc.? It is important to understand that this question comes from a place of great misery, feeling both lost and alien in the world. Paul Chek once said "I'm normal, humanity is sick." Teal Swan touched on the issue, I believe, in her post about authenticity and how the anti-Teal campaigns made her feel like her existence is wrong, "This very train of thinking is what led to my suicide attempts years ago." The situation is that I live at home and am currently somewhat frowned upon by my family. I do remember that topic back from the birth of the forum where the consensus of people stated that they don't share nor tell friends and relatives about their interest in PD, but this is difficult wrt diet, fitness and meditation, among other things. There seems to be a run and retreat mechanism: I will try to implement something or make a change. Testing the waters, momentarily unveiling parts of the facade (that I believe most people create, read 'The Drama of the Gifted Child'), but once scorned sufficiently, I revert. As you might imagine, this causes great confusion and self-doubt. Since early childhood I have sensed a hypocritical attitude in others where they idly aspire to certain ideals (health, success, etc.) - yet simultaneously almost keep others down in their pursuit of those very ideals. And this behavior absolutely baffles me. I don't think there is any point to describe the situation any further. Fill in the blanks. I hope that I managed to convey the gist of the topic that I want to raise a discussion about. How can you possibly work with your parents rather than against them? Does self-actualization work have to be this strenuous?

I think this says a lot about this self... A couple of years ago my best friend asked me with who I´d try to become friends with if I lived in Hogwarts. My answer was Luna Lovegood. She was one of the most extraordinary characters to me. The way she was moving in the world, the way she was talking but also the way she seemed distant and away from the others but at the same time observed, understood and knew so much. From the outside she looks quite (only quite) ordinary but the inside... The inside must be lightyears from that of the other. All knowledge from a Hermiony Granger or all bravery from a Harry Potter or whichever trade of the others was not as interesting as an alien perspective of a creature like Luna. Her peace and silence and vulnerability were just so beautiful. I appreciated it that J.K. Rowling created a character like that to cross Harry Potters way with a special friendship. Friendship. Because romantic relationships are more for human like, more ordinary people, am I right Joan? She just had bigger fish to fry...

Yes, I see that all around me. What about materialistic desires? Or sexual desires? There are people in my country (I haven't been elsewhere) who see the God as an "alien" sitting in the heaven somewhere behind the universe or something. They try as hard as they can to obey the rules (and there are so so so many of them) while there can be something totally different that's the core of religions. They don't sit down and question who they are and why do they believe in whatever they believe in and so on... I can't speak from their perspective, but as I see in myself, it backfires me when I repress my feeling and desires. And those priests are like me I guess. Doesn't repressing their feelings and needs cause problems in their lives? I have these questions because everyone around me is trying to obey these religious rules, while nothing changes in reality. I am trying not to fell in that trap, and answers to some of those questions would probably help me.

Monday, 16/08/15 Enlightenment Work: 25 minutes of letting go in the morning, 60 minutes sds before lunch, 60 minutes sds after lunch and 46 minutes sds after dinner. I need to develop more equanimity. I need to surrender to the pain and let it go. But thats hard as long as my ego is resisting. . . . . Life Purpose Work: I only programmed for 1.5 hours today. I rather wanted to do other stuff. And my code becomes slowly but steady more and more confusing and unclear. But today I learned how to use Key Bindings in Java, I wanted to learn it for a long time but I procrastinated for the whole time. School Work: I do not want to do school work. My intuition didn't wanted to, so I didn't. I still have eight days left. And soon the weather will become rainy again, so then I have more time to do school work... Things that I am grateful for: being born into a family that is able to afford a lot of great food. being more independent for a week my intuition My parents and my sister are away until Friday. That will be great, because then I can meditate where and whenever I want to, and can eat what and whenever I want to. Right now I just feel a bit lonely. This day my intuition guided me most of the time. I recognized a lot of should statements, mostly ignored them and simply did what I desired to do. I'll see what this will lead me to this week. I began to watch this weird lecture. It really challenged my open-minedeness, but those alien things seem possible. Well, I don't know what I don't know.

You have no idea yet how radical enlightenment insights are. They will utterly transform your entire relationship to reality. You cannot judge enlightenment from your current position AT ALL. Like ZERO. You have no idea how radical it is. Your wildest imaginations of it are still infinitely far away from the majesty of Absolute Truth. It's more radical than being abducted by aliens and taken to live on an alien planet. Everything gets turned upside down. The pursuit of anything becomes laughable. You are already 100% complete, infinite! There is nothing to pursue, and nothing to avoid. Imagine you became God. Now... do you still care about pleasure & pain? Do you care about anything human at all? What can you do but just cry and laugh in delight at your own infinite magnificence and limitless, boundless being?

Week 3 God floated down to his basement and pulled out an old box labelled “NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART.” He opened it up and pulled out his ViewMaster, a clever device that made multidimensional images using lots of smaller images. In the box were many of gods favourite memories. He picked out a disk labelled “The last person on Earth”, it was a vlog made by the last person on the planet. He held the ViewMaster in front of his eyes and peered down the lens ... And God was thrashing about in water as images were developing around him. This is how the ViewMaster worked. It developed images in Gods eyes and then folded them into one another, mixing experience within experience and time within time, creating new dimensions for God to explore. And God began to lose memory of himself in the fog And God was alone And God was floating through the universe And the universe was floating through God And God was walking down an empty street And God was an Alien And God was the empty pages of history And God was in the woods And God was vlogging about his last days on earth And God was reading something strange on a forum And God was fighting a shadow to remember And God clicked the play button and was confused, but God kept watching and God watched past the credits (because God knew there were extra bits after the credits): Silently, God watched as words appeared in his mind and continued to read... *** Hours Sat: 76 Hours sat this week: 26 Current daily average: 3.6 start date now June 27, wtf? Experiences Hell on earth Glimpses of unity Insights I'm fucked. I reverse-engineered this bit of marketing psychology to help leverage my willpower. Step 1: Acknowledge that I have been triggered Step 2: Ask myself if I want the behaviour to occur (y/n) Step 3: Determine whether the the behaviour is difficult (ability) Step 4: Visualise the positive/negative sides of the activity until my motivation crosses the threshold and the behaviour does/doesn't occur eg. Alarm goes off for meditation (trigger set previously) Acknowledge I have been triggered to begin meditating Decide I want the behaviour to occur Determine that the behaviour is difficult Spend time visualising the positive effects of meditation until motivation increases to match ability. Next thing I know I'm meditating. It seems much easier to use my willpower in 4 small steps than in 1 big one, like I've put it through a pulley system. It could just be that the meditation is gathering its own momentum and I'm getting sucked out into space, the next most logical step the great unknown. 'cause I thought what I didn't know, I couldn't miss... and then I entered the atmosphere of a new planet... *** Next weeks post will be late because I'm simulating a retreat until Monday. I also want to write down everything I currently think I know about enlightenment. Yes it's pointless, i'm just meat, just making sounds, etching pixels into your computer screen Je me … ox … ox herding … kundalini Forget it, I'll just have the fish and chips Don't get involved. *** And God was a cam puss F.U.N.

Maybe --- just maybe I could be a foreign correspondent. A journalist. Go to war zones like Yemen & report the news. I don't know. I'm. A fucking mess. I'm PTSD & mental. I got emotional & spiritual problems. & my heart isn't in the modernized machine world of the matrix of American consumerism. But I feel like an alien. I feel lost. I'm one step away from a barking mad homeless man on side of highway screaming God is dead b

Well I am trying to understand such an alien way of life from my perspective. I don't want to be prejudice towards a group of people for their beliefs, but a lot of times I feel like Muslims could seriously endanger my life if I am not aware of them. Basically what I am saying, from what I know about Islam right now and the idea I get from it, I would truly fear for my safety if the muslim population increased in my area. So I am asking if it is wrong to assume that Islam is violent and barbaric at it's core. But I want to know from someone who isn't a proud gun slinging murican either, because their views could be skewed. Make sense?

@actualized1 Hi, Yes, normal is a little bit of a vague term. But health is something to work with. A healthy psyche depends on the degree with which you are aligned with "your"reality. Psychological pain and symptom means that there is some psychological work to do, like learning to emotionally regulate better to let go of past ego defences and learning new ways of coping. If you're purpose is business, and you are working toward that and making it happen then that's healthy. Each stage of development has a healthy expression and an unhealthy expression. It's when were against the world, and the world seems alien to us and there is a lot of resistance and reclusion then it can be said there is a problem. Mal

this is only another concept, but it might shed some insight into the nature of reincarnation. I think we as humans really underestimate our power. With the help of religion we are taught that we are simple beings under the control of a higher power which we have no chance of replicating. This entire existence is because of the contrast of nothing and something. The nothingness that makes up consciousness creates everything that we know. We are a creator. There was a study done in which people were told to think about a certain phenomenon (aliens, angels, god) before entering sleep paralysis. Of course the people that believed in UFOs and alien encounters were abducted and probed in a hyperrealistic experience. The people who strongly believed in God had a spiritual experience involving angels and heaven, or an image of Jesus. They all felt this was real, and that it really took place in real space. This is why there are so many different truths that are fought over, because something is real to everyone but not everyone can believe that everything is real. People become addicted to this world and their ego so much that if they leave too soon that attachment/manifestation has so much momentum that it doesn't end with the physical body. This is why suicide doesn't help people, the pain theyre experiencing doesn't end with the body. I think one of the benefits of enlightement allows you to break free of the physical and to experience it finally without attachment, which allows you to leave this existence when your body dies. In conclusion, we experience what we believe and create. These concepts might make sense and make me feel like I know these answers, but they are only that: concepts. I think reincarnation is just as real/not real as anything else you've created. All I know is it's fascinating to think about.

I do semi-physical work as a general contractor about 20-30 hours/week over 2-3 days, while the other 2-3 days I work at my computer marketing, building websites, doing business coaching via phone/skype, SEO, designing marketing/sales funnels, etc. I used to do that for my own business, but once it was up and going and ranking, I've now been doing it for others past few years. I find the mixture of the two different types of work and the fact that I'm very good at and enjoy the challenge of both. I also get to help people, my customers in both and they are my businesses as I'm a serial entrepreneur. In those ways my situation is a bit different than the others on this thread, but not "alien" by any means, probably becoming more and more typical these days. Oh yeah, my wife and I are also very involved, have started and sit on boards for non-profits, help put on events, offer free coaching and consulting (pro bono) for about another 20 hours/week, but our kids are 24 & 26 and out of the house, so believe me, it's not bad after all those years of adding family life, sports, kid's events, etc. to the weekly commitment list LOL Lastly, I just want to mention, that multiple times I've started new jobs in new areas where I was selling and had zero knowledge at day 1. In those cases, I went to my wife and made an agreement with her and my kids, that I was going to work about 12 hours a day 4 days of the week, one day I literally stayed up all night at the office (usually Tuesday it happens) and a half day on Saturday which worked out to about 80 hours/week. I would do this for 90 days so I could bust the curve on learning the new business, having enough time to sell 40 hours a week and learn the business 40 hours a week. Every time I did this, I can honestly say I was as knowledgeable as anyone at that branch other than the top guy by 90 days and in two cases (both when I was an employee not business start up), I was top 7 out of 700 in the nation for sales at the end of the first month. I see this same principle or strategy being used successfully in project start up, business start up and even in life/business coaching. In coaching I call it "power coaching" where instead of once a week for many months or years (like typically counseling), we burst for a month or two or maybe three with very specific goals and timeline to coach our client to get his/her business started, improve their marriage, develop a new software, create a new sales funnel and test it to success, etc. Life is generally more of a marathon, but it's very powerful to know how long and how fast one can sprint in life and business if it's needed. Like anything we get better at such things over time as we do them and improve along the way. Hope some of these ideas/concepts and feedback from my own experience is helpful. You appear to be much younger than me, perhaps without wife, kids, mortgage, etc. so if you're gonna write a software, start a side business, etc. I can only say it may get harder not easier as life's financial and time commitments take up more and more of your currently free bandwidth ;-) Gary

@cetus56 Very well spoken/ very articulate , you should think about writing a book about this. Yes, I experimented with mind altering substances when i was 18/19ish, but this is a long time ago... Had some very amazing and some very hellish experiences, where i actually thought "nice! now you did it, you broke yourself, will never return to normal life" which made me realy question the very fabric of reality and of myself and i can totaly see how some people actualy go "insane" from using some of those substances. I always say when "you" experience something realy strange and alien, it can be dealt with ..but when the very alien thing suddenly is "you" then the mind seems to get a serious problem which sounds funny years later but back then i know it wasnt and some of my friends actualy spend some time in recovery-hospitals, gladly noone was runined for life... I personaly am glad for those "experiences" today, but i didn´t feel like this was the right path for me so i refrained from further engagements in this field when i was 20 and from then on living pretty much sober. I feel like meditation is more of an emotionaly secure way of getting to your true self. Meditation is more work instead of just beeing thrown into something and i feel it is way more predictable compared to chaning your brains neuronal activity with certain substances. But i can definatly see why people are fascinated by that possibility. To be quite honest i became too scared of the negative effects of those "drugs" because lets be honest, everyone on youtube just tells you about "my amazing dmt-experience" , "cool salvia 100xextract first time experience" etc ...because the people who induce schizophrenia on them don´t upload videos And in fact it IS a very small ridge you are mooving on specially when you are emotionaly unstable! i would recommend to put your hand off of drugs and meditate and get rooted in life first before you start "loosing" yourself. @Infinite awesome inspiring people to do longer meditations was my main concern when posting this. I think inspiration is realy important, leo inspired me to do the 6hours, i wouldnt have done it if i hadnt watched some of his videos. it is realy worth it. life changing in fact!

@zasa joey Hey zasa, talking about negative, look at your avatar... ain't that just poison for the eyes and the brain? Why not taking a baby who gets eaten by dogs directly, or images of a slaughterhouse ? I've been into metal and I have friends they still do, I haven't nothing against it, but I doubt that will bring you self actualisation and happiness so this is a reason why I don't listen to Hip hop and Metal, or very seldom, and not too agressive type of music, they can effect your mood and mentality, your ability of positive thinking, I use to like any kind of trash music and art. Now I just watch it with care and respect. I've visited HR Giger (creator of Alien) museum http://art.vniz.net/en/giger/Giger-Erotomechanics_VII.html , I tell you, even though it's great, after 2-3 hours of this, I felt like I wanted to vomit. When you realize the effect that colors and lights have on your mood, than watching and liking pictures like this can for sure be poison for your brain. Your message touched me, can I ask you how old you are? In my opinion, friends who tell another friend to kill himself are not friends. So your friends are no more your friends, there not your enemy, everyone could be considered your friend or your enemy. They are what they are, no need to put any judgment on them. Friends are changing with time, you don't need friends to be happy! Friends are external factors, happiness is coming from the inside, not the outside. Why are you afraid of loneliness? Why do I love it? The difference between you and me is the view on things, the ability to change perspective. Loneliness is fucking excellent man! Learn the guitar or any instrument, you could spend the lower self time to self actualize yourself instead and learn things that you could not imagine yourself doing a few months ago, meditate! Don't be afraid of learning hard stuff, do them step by step. Today, you can learn anything with internet, they are no more excuses for not knowing something. You are in a victimhood dynamic, you can change that. There is enough information here to know what to do to get you out of that dynamic. The information alone will not help you, you have to work! If you can't tell you friends how you feel, I would take them one by one and see if you can have a serious conversation with the one or two that could listen best and have influence on the group dynamic, without having expectations. Actually it might even be better to have negative expectations, about the outcome of the discussions. If they don't want you around, they don't want you around, there is nothing wrong with you or them, it is just the way it is. For insults, see your responsibility in the emotions you feel, you are the one creating the negative emotions about their insults. That is the truth! These are just words... The lie is believing in the voice that you hear in you head, not the voice you hear in you ears. This is by the way also the reason you are insecure. You have to do the work, self help book reading and videos watching is not enough. There is some brainwashing to do to give you self confidence, this is mental and written work! Again, none of the advice one can give you will help just by understanding their words. Of course you don't want to be expose to insults all the time, like I would not want to be expose to your avatar all the time as they will, could, get you unconsciously with time even though you are doing it the right work. "You just can't make new friends"... WTF???? Learn how to make new friends! You can't now, if you tell yourself now that you can't. You can tomorrow if you tell yourself you can. It's like someone saying he can't stop smoking, or banging his head on the wall, no more no less. Oh man, I'm going to spend this day on my own, and this is total luxury for me!!!! OH YEAH! I hope it helps! Take care!

@Epiphany_Inspired, Hi! You asked for my thoughts, I will share them. No disrespect intended to @Henri, but I disagree with numerous aspects of his reasoning as a former domestic violence victim, a mother, a step parent, (who has navigated CPS and legal systems for numerous children for numerous matters) and a former law enforcement officer. Covert control, verbal abuse, all are still abuse and can and often do cause serious protracted emotional harm to the victim and to the children who may also be victims and are witnessing the covert control and verbal abuse. One of the first premises taught in dialectical behavioral therapy is that you cannot have effective interpersonal communication with someone who is incapable of effective interpersonal communication. What you have described as the behaviors manifested are huge red flags for someone who has issues that are not going to be resolved with rational logic and the same kindness than in a divorce where abuse; specifically covert abuse is not a factor. I highly encourage you to look at site related to covert control, covert narcissism, and become familiar with a different modality of thought very alien to yours or mine. I can't diagnose, you cannot diagnose, but a court sure can order a guardian to do a mental health assessment of both parents and both homes and come up with a great parenting plan which includes supervised visits, parenting classes, therapy, all sorts of creative resources so a child does not become the pawn of covert control once your ex no longer has direct access to you. There are even online programs that are very reasonably priced designed to assist you with interacting with your ex related to your child to ensure a clear trail of documentation for interactions and that interactions remain cordial and on point. I don't know how your last appointment went, and I would want more information to even begin to assist you with self inquiry. I agree with @Sarah_Flagg, its about finding the highest and best solution for you and for your child that will lead to the most stable and optimal mentally healthy environment for your child. There are pros and cons to different approaches; the first priority is being safe. Being safe is as much being safe from mental duress and emotional harm as it is physically safe; someone can impact your physical health with gas-lighting and or covert control. One of the best pieces of advise I consistently got in therapy was, take care of you first. Make you happy, if you are happy you will be happier mom and your kids will be happy. Ignore you...put everyone else first? You will burn out really quickly especially being chief cook and bottle washer. I've been there and done that and its exhausting. You are a human being with needs and if you deny those needs it will exacerbate your own mental health challenges. When I have been in situations such as yours, and I have been in more than one, I have had to take different courses of action based upon the totality of the circumstances and logical consequence responses to inappropriate conduct with firm boundaries; unfortunately this led to a no contact order as the other party chose to fail to respect boundaries and escalated with inappropriate illegal conduct. For me personally I try to take it by successive approximations sometimes I under-reacted, sometimes I over reacted, and I know the outcomes of either response can be damaging to the child(ren) involved as well as myself. There is no formula, no easy answers. I just finished a legal matter for someone where the child was essentially the pawn in a never ending war of the roses; the party I represented ironically once given the carrot of visitation upon completing reunification therapy lost interest in the child and blamed the child for the loss of interest. It was mystifying in once sense until I understood it was for him, never about the child but covertly controlling the mother and he was merely using me to do so by igniting my sense of injustice. In other words, he used a new situation to covertly control three people as he sat back and enjoyed the drama. Perhaps I am projecting my own negative experiences and fearing that you may be minimizing or that you are in a worse situation that you are? I don't know. Its why I'm asking. That said? My experience there is no happy ending where two divorced parents co parenting when one of them is into covert control and abusive. Per programs that work with abusers? Alcohol is not the issue, even if they work AA, they will still be abusive. They have to understand that they abuse due to whatever root cause and be willing to really work on that issue and the data on this is not optimistic for successful lasting change. I am proud of you for having the courage to get out. I am proud of you for being strong and protecting your child the best you can with the mental ability you have to work with. I understand what it is like to be there. I empathize greatly with your desire to not be a victim, as you know you are being victimized, the frustration of the mental consistency and not being able to maintain it; I can so empathize with all of it. I recommend trauma therapy for you and for your child with someone certified in PTSD, Dialectical Behavioral Therapy is awesome, so is Gestalt. Its one thing to take responsibility for what we allowed, but if someone passed us the Kool aide and said "hey, its great, drink, and fooled us?" Its pretty reasonable per the therapists I've been seeing to be angry, to acknowledge one was victimized, and take steps to ensure you won't be a victim again to that individual. I think @Henri 's advice is amazing advice when people can be rational and reasonable because both of them want to be. It takes two for that tango. I wish you the best of luck what ever you decide to do, and hope that it works out positively for you and your child.

I always expect to come across some alien thing I've never heard of on these forums

Last week, I was just taking a walk outside and doing some self-inquiry. Suddenly, the feeling of me weakened considerably. My suffering and anxiety quickly dissipated, and the barrier between myself and the rest of reality has been blurred. I have my doubts since others who report this experience talk about completely merging with reality and knowing of this field of awareness. I, on the other hand, still have some identification with the ego, but at the same time feel like I am all of reality and feel the no-self. Also, the voice has quieted down more so than ever before, and my baseline level of happiness and peace of mind is greater than I can ever remember it. While there have been distinct moments where I have felt better, I can't recall this even-keeled, constant peace of mind, ever; it's like being a small child all over again, but maybe even better. Not only that, but people report quickly going back to the ego-self after their brief, amazing experience; I , rather, haven't reverted. Though I still have bad habits, anxieties, insecurities, etc. it is all much weaker, I can just let go of the automatic-negative-thoughts (ANTs) instead of ruminating, and that black-white boundary between me and everything else is distinctly weaker. The change seems subtle but significant, and it doesn't seem to subside at all--it always just is. Here's some of the differences in list form: - Suffering has gone down considerably. -Emotions are less distracting. - I can just let things go. - If the ego is hurting and I'm self-absorbed, I can shift focus to the higher self like zooming out of a picture, and see that I am everything. - I still have bad habits, but they don't feel nearly as rewarding to indulge, as guilt inducing afterwards, and their control is weakening. This seems not to be happening with just a specific behavior,but across the board. - My existential quandaries no longer trouble me. - Other people may still like other people, but they also feel like me, sort of. Also, when ever I hear/think of others' achievements, there is almost no jealously or self-shame-- they feel like my own. I also don't feel like any of that truly matters. -I don't feel a strong need for other people's validation, or even my own validation. - I don't feel like I need to search for something to be happy. - I find more authentic joy in my hobbies since my self-image is not related to them. - My work doesn't reflect who I am; it is simply a part of the infinite me. - Messing up doesn't make me feel bad about myself. I can just note that I want to modify a behavior and move on. - I don't feel better/worse/ or equal to others. I just am, and they just are. - I don't feel like there is good or evil, but I have no strong impulse to do things that are traditionally thought of as evil. I just feel more compassionate and loving not because it is meaningful or better-- it's just a reflection of my state of being. TL;DR: Everything is the same but better. PS: I just did a two hour Strong Determination Sitting today; I don't do those often and have only been doing them for about 30 minutes or so, so I didn't really work up to it at all. It was still difficult, but I didn't even feel resistance until after the first one hour. Only the last 30 minutes were hellish. Interestingly, I feel somewhat more identified with the ego- self after that intense sit, but I suspect that may just be temporary and a heighted awareness of the ego that was still "there". The intense physical sensations make awareness seem more localized in the body. Questions for you: What happened to me? Is this preliminary enlightenment? I didn't merge into reality completely, and this field of awareness/ emptiness is still alien to me, which makes me thing either that will happen in the later stages if this is awakening, or I am just experiencing something else entirely.

@Newpaz Very valid and interesting question (I don't really have an answer but just adding some thoughts). This may seem out there but there does seem to be a force, or it may even be our own egos, that supress these teachings that you mentioned. If you think about it most enlightened people that have talked about it publicly and have gained big followings have usually been killed. In fact even just having liberal views and power is enough to get you killed. So I wouldn't say it's far fetched to say that the past and present systems (the powers that be) don't really want us to know about this stuff. Which from their point of view makes sense as their aims are profit and power which would be at risk if everyone trusted themselves and just did what they want. It would make sense to just brainwash people so they become 'productive members of society'. Now when you think about it this has gone on for 100s of years, previously religion was used to control and still is to a lesser extent, now it's more money and society defined success. In both cases fear of lack plays a big part. So the point is we are all brought up in a way where 'enlightenment' or the path of true religion are very alien concepts and in fact get in the way of what we've been led to believe will bring us joy (money etc). So to say to someone after they've been brought up in this mindset that it's all meaningless, is to say everything you've been taught and even you yourself are a lie. It's very hard for the ego to take that on board. So ultimately I think enlightenment (I don't really like using the word) is the only way, it's just a matter of how long it takes for life's distractions to no longer have an effect or for your suffering to get really bad in which case you'll be forced to the spiritual side of things

@Socrates It basically sums up how I feel. The alien with tears streaming down represents how I've always felt different, and was basically always isolated from society. His hands in a prayer like position, and the golden circle in the background which could symbolize a halo, is representative of my devotion to seeking Truth, Being, God, or whatever you want to call it.

Don´t know what i should think about those supernatural/alien things ..not realy my coup of tea! But i find her quite attractive for some reason, and the fact that she is hot *just say it!!!* is always a bonus in the youtube-game. She´s probably a nice person.

No limitations whatsoever, this way there will no shortage of funding in scientific research and we will propel ions further, to cure all base problems in society, then work on the higher end possibilities, travel to new galaxies, search for alien life form, create new worlds, evolve into some other type of life forms. Find some way into the spiritual world, discover things basically.

What is worse, seeing your family get tortured, rapped and killed or that a meteorite destroys all life on earth tomorrow? What would you choose? In hope that it never happens to anyone, I probably wouldn't give a fuck that a meteorite kills all life on earth after watching my family get tortured... and vice versa. I believe that good things can emerge out of evil and vice versa. My parents would have never met without the second world war. We would never be born (as we are) without all the "stupid" things that humans thought and did in the past. We would probably never exist if a meteorite didn't strike the earth millions of years ago. Now was this meteorite a disaster? For the dinosaurs point of view sure! From an alien point of view it must have been an excellent scientific show to watch on their TV screens. I'm happy to be alive, what about you? Are humans a good thing for planet earth. Wanting to save poor people that are suffering, you might want to inject them a vaccines for protection that will give birth to disabled children, and some of them could die of cancer and would have never gotten sick in the first place, or you might save the next dictator that will kill millions... Not saying with this that you shouldn't help people that are suffering!!! I love this quote: "The road to hell is paved with good intentions!" It's the good old story of the Zen master, the farmer & the farmer's son that finds a horse and break his leg and can't go to war... For me good and bad are dependent to perspective and time. We are not capable of grasping the entire picture, the ripple effect of our daily actions. We only believe we do. So my answer to the question does good and evil exist, it depends on how you look at it. From the perspective of unawareness it does. From the perspective of awareness, truth, enlightened states, no it doesn't. Our brain just doesn't have the capacity to take all what should be taken into consideration to make the final judgement. It just assumes it does.

7501 I can´t always write in the morning hours... Just finished some mindfulness meditation that I have not done in ages. At some point I was describing my notebook display... Definitely the absolutely weirdest and most alien thing in here (when turned on)... How was the day so far? One problem gets solved and another arises... Does that ever end? What about future plans? Yes, many... But which one to choose? By the way... I am almost afraid to say it but I think I don´t wantt to have children and should I ever feel this urge, then not my own but of those that could need someone to care for them like I would for my own... Work ethics? Mm... Working on that. Today I conquered the fear and won. This morning actually I had so much resistance inside me for various reasons-my hands got sweaty and my skin got the chills, I was almost shaking... There are things about my past that still haunt me around but there is my ego as well using these as excuses and me not having read the manual for this complicated human machine yet... I would say I am satisfied with 7501 though... I think I am a lovable little chimp... And a god damn weirdo... (° °)

It could also be an alien. Sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from "magic". If you brought a smartphone to the 700's people would think you had a magic slate. There was a Star Trek episode called "The Devi's Due" that touched on this. A being claiming to be the devil was scaring people that were technologically inferior. Turned out to be a con-artist using technology to mimic magic/miracles.

If I were not me, and not in this time, then this question would still be valid in another time for another me. Yes we are all one, and that one is you. The real you, which is not a human in the world among other humans but the world itself that includes everything. Whatever is in your experience right now is what the reality is.(NOT A THING MORE). Yes its bizarre, it has always been that way. In fact, everything is fuckingly strange. But there is nothing you can do about it, the more closer you look at things, the more alien they appear.