a e l i

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About a e l i

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  1. If we define high-quality content as content that has the potential to elevate you and to help you pursue your ultimate life purpose (i.e. a meaningful classic book?), and low-quality content as content that can keep you stuck in the status quo and unaware of your condition (i.e. instagram feed?), what's the best course of action? Should we avoid low-quality content at all costs or can there be some space left for it, maybe to unwind? Is it even fair to make such a distinction between the two? If so, what criteria should we use in order to judge what kind of content can be the most beneficial for us?
  2. 1. I am. 2. We met online, have only had conversations on the phone, and it only lasted a week. Yeah I know that it sounds crazy for me to be saying all of this about something that was this short, but it's the most amazing connection I've ever had with a human. We learned so much through eachother, it's like we sped up our personal growth by a thousand times just by spending time together and supporting eachother. It didn't last because I hurt him and we realized that we needed some space to let ourselves grow more and overcome issues that would have tainted the relationship otherwise. It's really tough, I miss him so much. I don't know if we'll ever meet again. I hope so, but I know that I have to let him go fully and to not be attached to him before trying to find him again. If I'll want to find him in the future, who knows. Regardless of what things will look like, he taught me what unconditional love is. Even if there was attachment involved on my end, I managed to experience what a wonderful thing it is to completely accept someone and to just want the best for them, even if the best thing is to let them go. This experience was so powerful for me that now I'm going to do my best to find love in everything I do for the rest of my life.
  3. I was lucky enough to experience it and I'd like to talk to someone who knows what it feels like. You can also ask me questions if you never experienced it and you'd like to know anything, and I'd be interested to know your opinion on this topic. It's the most life-changing experience in my life and I know that I'll never find anything like this out of an interpersonal relationship. You might believe I'm mad for thinking like this, you might believe that I'm delusional. I myself can't wrap my mind around the entirety of this thing that I'm feeling, because this is something that defies all rationality and common sense. This is so, so rare that I've never seen a situation like mine unfold between two people. Love is so profound it can flip your world upside down completely. It goes past insecurities and trauma and shortcomings, it surpasses every other interpersonal connection. It's an experience that changes absolutely everything. It's something that gives you a sense of direction no matter what, even when the other person isn't there, it will always be with you and guide you through the rest of your life. I never believed in the concept of soulmates. Having more than one person who's compatible to you makes so much sense given the amount of people out there. But now I get it. It's not that the possibilities aren't out there, it's just that when you find a connection this deep it will change your entire existence in such a way that you'll always be bound to that person, even when the other person isn't there, like in my case, and every other possible connection will never compare to that one because everything else lacks this awakening component that makes true love so beautiful and unique. Most people never find it. They don't know it, they have no idea, and they settle for a regular relationship, perhaps because it makes them feel good, they have similar values and want to spend their life together, but in comparison to true love all of this is so selfish. I know that if I ever get into a relationship again it will be because I've become willing to compromise as well, and not because I've found a connection that can compete with the one I have with my soulmate, which is absolute and will guide me through the rest of my life. I can only hope that you have a chance to experience it in your lifetime. It's beautiful.
  4. I haven't properly gone out unless it's strictly necessary in more than a month (firstly because I was feeling depressed but afterwards because of the epidemic). My city is not in quarantine yet but I think it's a matter of time, as areas nearby are. Since I live with my grandma I cannot afford to get exposed. I feel like I'm so distant from real human interactions. But I've got to admit that it's not a new problem: I've been dealing with internet addiction for quite some time, except now it's on steroids because I've got nothing else to distract me. What can I do to make the best out of the situation? I want to become a better person. I started a meditation habit, sorta, because it's the one thing I can do for sure. But I don't feel like it's enough. Heck, I'd like to start dating! But I wonder, what are the chances of meeting quality people on dating apps? Also it feels a bit like cheating because of how shitty my IRL people skills are, and because it could be fuel for my internet addiction. But I digress. How do I deal with this need for human interaction during times like these? Anyone else having struggles because of the outbreak?
  5. I'd like to understand better human sexuality, so I have a few questions about this topic. Why do people have various fetishes and kinks? How much is porn to blame? And how is it possible for someone to understand where their fetish came from? Also, what do you think? Are fetishes healthy, unhealthy or it's not so black and white? Could enlightened people also have them? Is it better to get rid of them?
  6. Thanks for replying. Ok, I'm gonna build a meditation habit. Before I was never really motivated to start and never stuck to it... But now I feel that it's something I can't keep avoiding, so I'm going to try again and hopefully stick to it!
  7. I'm starting to become more aware of my addiction to thoughts, which lately has gotten worse. I can't even stick to a topic when I think, my head's just all over the place bouncing from topic to topic. It's like I'm trying to multitask with my inner voice, and as a result I shallowly touch lots of topics without deeply analyzing any of them. I'm easily distractible, unproductive and sick of this. This has always been such an unconscious thing I have no idea how I got at where I'm now, and I don't know how to change something that seems so automatic.
  8. @Michael569, @Sevi thank you very much! Looks like a great course
  9. I'm thinking of buying myself the course as a birthday present, once I turn 18 and get my own bank account. I don't have a source of income, my parents would never buy me something like this, and 250 usd is literally all the savings I have. It's a really big investment for me, so I'd like to know some things in advance from people who did the course. Are the videos streaming-only, or can they be downloaded too? It'd be a turn on if download were possible, since I have plenty of time without an Internet connection. How deep does it get? I find that Leo's most recent videos are much more profound and less and less aimed at newbies. But from what I understand, the course is kinda old. So, who is it aimed at? Is it best suited for people who'd watch his "How to get rich" videos or for a Paradigms/System thinking audience? Or both? Or neither? Anything negative to say about the course? I can only find positive reviews, which I guess is cool, but reading diverse opinions would be even cooler. Did you actually find your life purpose?
  10. Thank you all for replying! My best friend is in the same situation as me, perhaps less aware, and she's the person who influences me the most. I'm gonna talk about it with her, it'll be easier to change if she becomes aware of it as well. I'm also going to continue observing myself, my thoughts and my feelings, as you suggested. Volunteering for refugees might be a bit difficult, since for now I really don't feel like doing it and my parents wouldn't allow me to, but I'm gonna look for people from these countries among my friends' acquaintances and online.
  11. Please don't be mean I've had prejudices about other races/cultures for quite a long time. Lately I've been realizing how it's weighing down me, I'm constantly ruining my mood like this. I live in Europe, and as you know, refugees are constantly coming in. It's already a sad situation, but racism just makes it a lot worse: my town lately has been getting filled with these people, I see them everywhere and I feel... disgusted, honestly, and I'm also afraid. And I hate it, these negative emotions are ruining me. Rationally, I understand that not all people of a certain group are the same... And I acknowledge that an open-minded person doesn't assume things about someone before getting to know them well. I also have proved this to myself, since I do know some black people who I consider to be good. But yeah, feelings are not rational. Do you have any advice on how to deal with this? I can't find anything unbiased on the Internet, and I can't talk about it with the people I know since they're either going to hate me or support my racism. I just want to walk down the street without all these negative thoughts, it's a pain in the ass.
  12. In June I'm going on a vacation with my family for 10 days. No school, no work, no Internet. Just nature, the seaside and our tent. I want it to be a healthy experience. Any suggestions? I'm planning on meditating, working out and thinking about stuff, but should I do anything else? Would it be better to bring some books to read/things for advancing in my life purpose, or should I completely disintoxicate from my regular lifestyle, sort of becoming a monk for 10 days? What would you do on a holiday like this?
  13. In my opinion there should be time to just sit and be, contemplating existence. Always being in a rush won't bring you peace, even though you may be excited about your work or your hobbies. Most people are addicted to activities, and for them just sitting and doing literally nothing for a couple of hours is really difficult. If you can't be peaceful doing that you are not happy. Saying that you'd be lazy for doing nothing is just an excuse.
  14. Since my grandma was a microbiologist that worked for Moscow's aqueduct back in the Soviet Union days, my family has always thought tap water was the best. While it certainly is more eco-friendly than bottled water because of the lack of plastic, I'm starting to doubt the health benefits of tap water. After all, my grandma's knowledge may be outdated. Also, I'm always told about how dangerous chlorine and other chemicals are and I'm not sure if chemicals in tap water are unhealthy or not, since that may just be some kind of advertising/propaganda (here in Italy the vast majority drink bottled water). Honestly, I wish tap water was healthier because of the environment, but wishful thinking won't lead me anywhere good. Anyway, I really have no idea what to believe! So, where do you guys get your water? Why? If you drink tap water what do you have to say about the chemicals added to disinfect it?
  15. Thanks everyone for replying @Kelley White I think I pull my hair when I'm not doing anything special... I noticed that when I'm concerned with strong emotions I don't do that. But I'm not sure it's the same with teeth grinding, I feel especially tense when I do it. Sometimes I notice the urge to pull/grind but other times I'm not aware of it and if I start I stop only when it "naturally" ends. Teeth grinding is more difficult to avoid. And I guess I'm self soothing. I'm trying to keep a journal for when I pull/grind and I'll try to find something healthy to replace it and see how it works out.