Everyday

I feel weird and stupid to take days off work taking into account i work basically part time now. I already feel i am not working hard enough for my salary and now i would take days off as well? My siblings make fun of me for being so tired and not taking breaks from work. I want to respect myself more. I am doing good. Really good. Almost 3 months of no tv series and no porn videos. Amazing. My friend asked my why dont i watch some tv series which came out. Told him and he was like not even a little? NO! It is a gateway for me to waste months of my life. Now i waste some time on social media but afterwards i get work done. I do my routine. I cant believe how much time i wasted on those stupid tv series just to feel like doing nothing afterwards. TV series are toxic for me. I wont dive deep back into tv series after i finish uni. It will make me retarded again. Next thing would be to take care of eating junk food when feeling down. Last bender was triggered by stress with uni and that girl i liked so much. This week on Monday was the day she replayed to my texts. She basically didnt want to go out with me again but i kept asking her and bothering her. Wish i just let it go sooner. If she liked me there was no need to stress her at all. I told her she can message me at any time to go out and that i wont bother her anymore. Basically telling her i have no boundaries and self respect and we can meet when she feels like it. i didnt see it like this- i thought i look chill. It feels like Monday was another week. I went through a lot this month. Pretty fucking cool man. I need to put a lot of effort into selling stuff online in a few months. I want to not be so stressed about money as i am now. I feel guilt each time i buy food or go on a date. I am feeling that fear i will run out of money. I have this from my father. I hate this feeling of fear. I would have went with Erasmus again last few years if i wasnt so afraid i wont have a job and money when i come back. I want to blame my father for not doing more for us. I look at some of my rich colleagues at uni and feel envious. I know i am an adult and shouldnt even complain but i do feel this way. I know i should do more for myself. But it makes me so angry when my father asks us for money while those rich kids from uni get money from their parents. I imagine that if i would have $2000 each month i would be calmer, get nicer clothes, eat out more, travel, more dates and generally more relaxed than i am now. I am so afraid i will loose my job because the mistakes i make. It was horrible to work for my family and i dont want that back, I am so afraid to have no income and i dont even know why.

I asked 2 girls to date again and they said again they are too busy. Since than i stopped asking any girl out again and again. Kept speaking with one of them each day for a little bit and that was. Other 2 girls stopped replaying. One stopped texting after i told her my height, i was surprised to be honest. I didnt find her attractive. I thought more about my behavior and i dont think i would go out with a girl who would push for a date so fucking hard like i do. I need to chill. If she wants to meet me she will make a move as well. I spoke with a girl for 3 weeks and she said she is not ready to date 1st time i asked. Second time was last week and since than she didnt replay. She is super hot. I went on a date 2-3 weeks ago with a girl i was speaking for 3 weeks. The moment she saw me i got that vibe she doesnt like me. I wish i left sooner. I even tried to kiss her and held hands even if i knew she isnt into me. I saw today she unfollow me. I was surprised. We didnt have much in common. She was a 6 year med student and she had that arrogance all med students i met have, Usually all med girls stop speaking with me on Tinder. No dates this week. All in all, it is great those girls are too busy because i had time to rest. I wonder if one of these girls will message me next week for a date. I feel stupid not seeing any effort from them to go out as well. This is fine. Just talk to other girls and dont fucking worry. It was another long week. I am as sick anymore. Worked on my projects and did some exercise. I was so tired at the beginning of the week. Drove again to take my mushroom bags back home. I drove crazy and it made me angry. I broke smth at the autoclave machine and this made me upset as well. Met with 2 guys from high school which i havent seen since i finished. They are doing great. One of them is a skipper now. Made me think how obsessed and afraid i got to keep this job just to have enough to survive. Ridiculous. There is so much more in life. I went to school and after that i got drunk with a friend. I didnt want to but kept getting drinks. Came home and slept and didnt work shit. This made me feel bad. I was basically lazy. Didnt play polytopia in 3 days but watched some crap on YT. I also fapped to a porn gif. Havent done that in months. I felt guilty. I wanted to watch tv series and porn lately. Also, i am still eating out each day almost. This isnt ok for my finances. I finally ordered those jewelry from aliexpress. Took me a few minutes but i postponed it for months, Ridiculous. I should have ordered them last moth. Some of that drive to get my own store isnt as strong. I have an unemployed friend who wants to be a painter and i am getting upset more and more with his behavior. Each time we want to buy a gift for a friend he says he is super busy - can you please take care of it for us? I am getting more and more annoyed. He is saying all the time i am busy or we cant meet earlier because i am working. I mean you want me to take the gift after work and school? You are free all day! Anyway, told him i am super busy pls take care of it or not. I dont care. Why am i so free for everyone else? I dont say all the time i am busy, i am full, cant this week etc. But everyone else is doing this. Even when i was at the massage i would still meet with friends. Wtf? Should have went home and chill. I am getting more distant from the main group from high school. I dont know why but i feel drained hanging out with them lately. I keep being supportive of them and i dont get the same thing in return. They invited me to join them in August 10 days in Greece. I am already going in July with siblings. I dont want to save even more money to have enough for both. I cant afford 10 days there and i am not sure they will even make reservations. I am saving money for that business, dont want to waste several months of savings for a 10 day trip. That trip would cost me 4 months of savings. WTF. There is no one making plans in this group. Trips like this are hard to schedule with them. And i hate taking the lead each time. I am upset because i have work and the ppl having the most time do nothing about organizing smth. DIE ANTWOORD - AGE OF ILLUSION (Ai VIDEO)

Hey I asked one of my friends what am i doing wrong. Last 2 weeks i keep trying to get dates and these girls keep telling me they are busy. I keep bothering these girls, saying "wen date?" He said i am dating too much and with whatever girl i can take. I should go out with the girls i really like not just everyone. Also, why do i keep rushing so much and pushing for dates? I dont need to go out with each one of them especially if i am the only one trying to fix a date. He said i should devote more time to uni and other stuff instead of just getting dates. Also, shouldnt say "when are you free" because this shows i am desperate to meet at any moment. Indeed, i am desperate to meet these girl when they can asap. I am also checking my messages from them a lot and replaying too often. i should focus on my shit more, instead of trying so hard to date, especially they i dont like most of them. I should take a break because i am not in the best shape for dating right now. IDK. With all the game in the world, that girl i liked so much wasnt into me and it is ok even i feel frustrated. I need to focus on other things as well right now. Although his advice helps i do think dating just for dating it helps. I am trying to find the middle way. I need to read some stuff about this. I dont know what i am doing wrong in general. What else? Still sick and fucking tired. I have only 6 WEEKS left of this shit uni. I can get my shit together now. Take a break from dating and finish this shit degree. I am stressed with the amount of shit i have to finish. But it turns out i wrote more on that project than my colleagues. I was thinking today i need to take more breaks from work. Also, to enjoy skipping work so often. I think i would get bored being there each fucking day.

I messaged her again yesterday. She replayed this morning basically saying she has a lot going on and doesnt see the point in wasting our time since she is so busy blah blah. I felt frustrated and told her im ok with her being busy. I also said i didnt wanted to annoy her, i said she can message me anytime if she wants to hang out and also that i wont bother her again. There you have the end of the whole thing with her. Some lesson learned from this shit. I feel down because of her. I know there is literally zero chances she will message me but is ok. I will be fine. I just feel stupid i embarrassed myself so much once again. Basically begging for a date. I just feel stupid being so fucking needy to get her. I wish i had that "dont give a fuck" attitude so fucking much. I didnt ask her again to meet until today and she said she is busy all week, lol. Ok, next time be sure to ask her a few days in advance to set up smth. I felt frustrated again. Is she busy or just doesnt want to meet with me? I dont know. Am i annoying her? Had a date last Sunday in the park. She seemed cool. While she was on her way to the date she said we can go to another park next date. I thought - that's early to say. But she came and she looked at me and i knew - she doesnt like me. Same look last girls had. I dont fucking know what am i doing wrong. She was cold and same distant behavior. We walked for 3 hours and i asked her a few times if she is ok or wants to go back. I dont know why but i even said "i hope we meet again". She looked away and said yes, sure. Didnt replay to my messages again. I know this is part of the learning curve but it fucking sucks. I know i need to go on even more dates but fuck it man. I feel tried. I should work on uni at those projects. Havent done shit all weekend. I spent my weekend working on this stupid last year project. My back hurts like nuts. Fuck this shit. Hope everything will be fine. I am fucking tired and i feel discouraged about these last dates. It fucking sucks bro. But i know i will get over this shit. Is just a stage. I noticed i am loosing interest in girls who are putting too much effort into the conversation on Tinder. Wtf? I dont know why? And what the fuck is going with all these girls being busy right fucking now? I feel stupid bothering her every few days to go out. Omg. I think is annoying. What else? Met with some friends. Told some other friends i am busy. I did my routine and didnt watch crap online even if i wanted to so fucking much. I have no idea when this month passed almost. Omg. I did some progress even if it doesnt look like it right now. Ate a lot of junk food almost each day. This part doesnt go well. But i didnt watch tv series, porn and so on. I skipped visualisation a few times.

I spoke a little after that. Asked her this Monday if she wants to meet this week. Proposed a place closer to her home. She didnt replay. I expected that. She never took that long to replay. So yeah... I feel bad and frustrated about this whole thing. She was amazing, too bad she wasnt into me. At least i can move on now. I like her too much so that's a recipe for disaster. She was quite nice. She was more awesome than i thought. She is a programmer, a runner, loves to travel, goes a lot out, does charity etc. But doesnt seem we have much in common. She is super busy. Makes enough to live alone. She was cold so i didnt kiss her. She kept her hand in her pocket, asked her if i can hold her hand. I thought she didnt want to. We spoke about a second date. She said "i hope we meet again". She got ghosted as well it seems. I asked her once and she said she is busy for now but we will keep in touch. No idea if we will actually meet. Nice girl tho. I should be like her. Doing lots of things and not caring about these girls so much. She replays to me after hours and hours. I am trying now to not check my phone all the time and replay in an instant. I dont need to. Canceled a date yesterday because i had stomachache. Another girl said she is free while i was at work so we couldnt meet. A tall and fat girl talked dirty with me on Tinder. I was wow, it's the second time a girl calls me sexy blah blah. But next day she is like WHy dOnT yOu teXT mE firST???? After that she was just weird. She kept complaining and asking me what am i doing every few days just to not replay afterwards. Why? We cant even meet at her place because her roommate. Went some more at uni, worked on some projects. Not much else. Played polytopia way too much. I worked out more. Ate a lot of junk food. I feel tired of this dating thing and in general. I dont want to meet with anyone and i feel lazy and tired and stressed with uni. I should have worked on some projects today. I had an opportunity to join erasmus again but i didnt give them my file. I dont see the point. It is too late. What willl i do? Should have done that some time ago. Of. I am looking back at the days i had exams and i was strict with myself. Good times. Now i feel i got lazy. My room is messy. Last weekend i went to a vineyard with a friend. We got drunk and kept drinking once at home. I wanted to go home after one bottle but i got black out drunk. I think i drank 4-5 bottles of wine with that guy. We walked and drank wine. It was nice. I dont feel very good. I feel stressed and annoyed i couldnt get a girl to sleep with regularly. It feels so fucking frustrating. Spent so much on these dates and blah blah. But i got experience. I need a break. I feel too drained to meet with friends. 3 months and i am done with college. Wow. Maybe i will miss having to wake up early and go there, homework, projects and so on. Maybe i will find life after college as lame and too easy. I cant believe i didnt watch tv series and porn for such a long time this year. I do want to watch that crap. But i am struggling now with junk food. I feel down. But i am doing good overall. I am learning from these dates. All good. yum-slowthat never again-slowthai

Hey Told her happy women's day and sent her a sticker of her i made. She said it's "unsettling" im making stickers of her. I said oh, i didnt want to scare you or anything. After 2 hours she canceled the date because she had too much to work again. I said ok, take care, you got this and how about tomorrow or the day after tomorrow? She didnt even read the message, 7 hours later. I feel so ashamed of myself trying to hard to get a fucking 2nd date. Omg. I definitely scared her by being too fucking nice. I feel ashamed i messaged her to even ask for rescheduling. I am stressing her so fucking much and i still hope she might replay and get that date and things will be better. I dont know why i like her so much to be honest. Maybe just those ideas in my head. I feel frustrated things dont work with her. Omg what am i doing? Why am i stressing so fucking much? I wasnt even planning to have smth super serious. Of.... Tried to meet again with that girl i had sex with. She said she is busy but another time. She doesnt want to meet either lol. Scheduled a date for Sunday with a girl i didnt speak since Monday. Good. She seems nice but i am thinking she wont like me either. I feel frustrated. Woke up and worked some project for uni and did my routine. I am trying to calm the fuck down and just move on. Maybe message her again on Monday to get a definitely NO/ Rejection. Of . Friends asked if i wanna go out. Said i am busy with uni. I am but not as much as they think even if i need to do those projects. If she didnt reschedule now we would be on a date. Man... Unlike that girl who got upset for rescheduling i am not as mad as her yet. But i understand what she felt.

Hey She replayed after one day because she forgot. We rescheduled for tonight. I was so anxious all Sunday waiting for her replay. I really wanted to see her. I dont that i am into her so much. Makes me needy and desperate. I hate it! Im growing tired and frustrated of chasing Teo. Why it has to be so complicated? Why do i even bother? I wish she would stop replaying at all so i can move on and be done with this thing for good. I went on a date with a french girl volunteering here on Monday night. I thought i will gonna bang her but she wasnt interested at all. She didnt even let me hold her hand. But the conversation was really good. I missed the talks i had with foreigners. Yet, she still messaged me to ask how am i doing? Wow. Why tho? I got stressed seeing all this projects i should be working for uni. Fuck. Woke up earlier and started working on them. Last year i procrastinated for months and it was hell. I dont feel like going on dates until i make progress with those projects. Also, i dont like i spent so much on these dates. What else? I need to do my routine better. I took it easier on visualization. I dont like this.

Hey Tuesday Met with a 22 year old girl. She looked at me and idk, she felt off and said let's go after one hour. I should have ended the date sooner. Long day at uni and some work from home After the date i went home and drank a bottle of wine with my sister and her boyfriend. Told them how tinder works. Let them message some girls. They were shocked how stupid/ arrogant/ weird these girls are. Wednesday Messaged Teo and she replied to my surprise. She is the girl i like so much. Very long day at work at the office and uni Met with a 20 year old girl at the same cafe as yesterday. Escalated quickly - touched her hips, held her hand, told her she is cute and beautiful, kissed her head and forehead. All while at the cafe. We didnt have much to talk about. I didnt like her. On the way to the subway i kissed her and touched her butt. We continued at the subway and i was surprised she let me do that. I didnt care since i didnt like her. She kept asking me if i like her, what am i thinking, if i am meeting with other girls. Thursday Very loooong day at the office and a little of university labs. Met with 2 friends and told them of how many dates i had and about Teo. They cooked for me. It was nice. I was proud to see on their tv that i new episodes and tv series dropped recently and i didnt know. Havent watched shit in 2 months. Wow. Met with a girl at a bar with which i spoke for 3 weeks. She was 24, a med student. She looked at me and her excitement faded. She took her hand out of mine. I tried to make it work for 2 hours. I should have ended the date sooner. I asked Teo if she wants to go out again next few days. She said she is super busy but maybe on Sunday. Felt so excited. Friday Went to work at the office and a little bit at university. It was boring there. Felt excited to meet Teo again in a few days. I decided to cancel the date i had scheduled for that night and meet instead with the 20 year old from Wed. On the way to meet with her i ran into a girl from HS and spoke a little. Told her i am busy to go out and that i have a 2nd date. We met at a bar. I realized she has strabismus. I tried to focus on just one eye. I had to make conversation for an hour and a half. She didnt have anything to discuss about. It was so boring. She had a sad life and made me feel bad about speaking with her and being nice. I asked her if she wants me to take her home. She said yes. Went to her place and met her roommate and a friend. Cool people but i was ashamed i am a 24 year old dating this girl i dont even like. They left and we had sex. I didnt expect to be honest. She had much more experience than i thought. She said i can fuck her without a condom but i declined. We wanted to change positions when we realized the condom broke. She freaked out. We took a bolt to get a pill and back to her place. Left her at the dorm room and left home by subway. What a fucking day. Arrived home and told my siblings and their partners what happened but without the condom part. They guys where like yeaaah man! I also meditate and did my back exercises. Today, Saturday Woke up at 9 and did my routine. Checked if i got some disease from that girl Did exercises with my brother. Worked on my university project. Waited to message Teo again to confirm the date. Messaged her and she didnt replay. I kept checking my phone. I felt lame and desperate. Celebrated my brother's b-day. Didnt drink and i felt so tired. He turned 26. OMG. Last few days i did my routine really late at night. What a fucking week, lol. I should ask girls if they want me to take them to their place more often. So simple. Next level. Felt bad i care so much about Teo, even got a cute present for her. So lame. I should mind my own business. Here i am going mad of her not replaying to me as soon as i am used to. Also, i should have worked more on my project for uni. Some shit to do there as well. Felt bad i spent money on dates and so on. Why am i so desperate to get Teo? Why? I need to focus on myself and stop getting so triggered of her. I hope we meet tomorrow but again, i have no idea how will it go like. She doesnt seem interested in me like i am. And this is ok. Move on.

Interesting enough i feel more comfortable now speaking about dates with my siblings. Interesting. I have just 2 months and 2 weeks left of this semester and that project. I DONT have 5 months anymore. I got stuck in January aha. I cant believe i am close to be done with this shit. That project at uni? That motherfucker is leaving again so no project as i hoped. I will work on the written part. I am stressing about that again haha. I am learning what i want and dont want in a girl and this is very useful. Lots of stuff to learn and practice. I need this experience so much. I liked the girl from last week, Teo, so much because she has some stuff i want as well. For example confidence. I cant get that from her. I have to build that step my step on my own. I have a date tomorrow and 2 others at the end of the week. The girl from tomorrow is cute and the other 2 are not so cute =)))) I am not looking forward to work and go to uni tomorrow. Meh

Hey Asked my father to not insult my mom. He started yelling at me too. I see now why i avoid telling my opinion most of the time and why i expect bad things to come with it. Maybe that is the reason i feel uncomfortable telling a girl i dont want to see her again. I am afraid of a blow out. Its not the case. I set up 2 days for next week. I am not excited to meet this girls. But i need experience. Lots of it. No message from her and what did i expect? After the date she thanked me for taking her out after what day she had. I am taking dates too seriously. She didnt seem to care much if we meet or not that day. Just a date. Doesnt mean shit. I have smth to learn from this. Why am i bothered of this so much really? Because i wanted to show my friends i can get a gf too. Pff. Isnt not even about my siblings anymore. It is about showing my friends i am cool by getting a gf? Lol. Why not being cool taking some courses or learning smth new or working out? Why does it have to be a GF? Lol. Look, if you are so stressed stop telling them about these dates. Maybe this will help me get this pressure off for some time. Anyway i plan to avoid going out very soon. Anyways, i was thinking to write for my university project like right now. I didnt do much last week. Just a little bit tonight. This is a priority man. Goodnight

Wrote her on Friday night. She replied with a few sentences and didnt answer after that. She replied yesterday "sorry forgot to answer i was out in town". I said no problem, im going out tonight as well. She didnt answer again. This cold-warm method is getting to my head. I dont think she liked me as i liked her and its ok. My life is good and keep getting better. Too bad she didnt replay but is clear i would suffer more after a relationship with a girl i like so much. I will ask her out again tomorrow. Not sure she will replay and it's ok. I will try at least. I dont like how much this date got to my head. I didnt feel like this for a long time. And when i did it wasnt so strong. It is ok. It bothers me i care about it. I am thinking i shouldnt. Next thing? Date other girls and get more experience. I am speaking with other girls now. Let's see what will happen. We met. It was fun but i think next time i wont stay for such a long time. One girl from the high school group is pregnant. Wow. Shes only 24. When she said it i only thought i didnt have sex in the last 4 months. Everyone with his one problems. Did some exercise alone and with my brother. On Friday i didnt want to exercise at all because i was bothered she didnt replay to me. For sure i felt much better afterwards. What else? I have some stuff to finish for work and i want to work on my project for university. Also, i want to do some gardening. I passed all exams. Not sure if already told you that. My parents are again arguing. Nothing new. My friends want to go to Greece 10 days in summer but my siblings already organised a trip there this summer. I dont think i have enough money for both. Especially that i want to save money for that business.

I had a date last Friday but she cancelled because of work. I said no problem and i felt she warmed up to me. She seemed cold. But she was fun. We didnt speak a lot and i asked twice if she still wants to go out. If i didnt ask again one day prior we would not have met. She didnt seem to care much and i want to get to that point. We met yesterday. She was more beautiful than i saw in pics. She was charming, fun and sexy. We both laughed a lot. She was warm in person. She was smart and sweet. Wow. The conversation between us was good. I can do better next time. She was good and making conversation as well. After the date she was expecting to hold hands. Last GF was shocked when i grabbed her hand. We walked some more and i kissed her. She was waiting for it. It went really well and it was so smooth. We kissed and hugged more and it was awesome! She bit my lip and i was like - this girl is nuts ahah! At the end of the date she was surprised i paid for our drinks. She said she went out with me because i was chill and fun. She apologized for being late. No problem man. I didnt expect to go that well based on how she seemed online. Wow. Now i am thinking she will ghost me. I dont want to bother her too much with messages. I would like to meet her again in weekend or next week. I went on a date with her just to go on a date. Didnt think she is that cool. I ran into some colleague from middle school who bullied me at some point. I met him last time last year. He looked at me and shook hands while i was at the table with this girl. I was so afraid to date back then so he and his friends wont make fun of me. So there i was and the guy didnt give a fuck. The girl didnt care either. No body cared. Wow. It was a moment of tremendous growth. I would have died if this happened back than. So last week spoke to go out with some girl and rescheduled 3 times. She got upset and i didnt feel like going out with her. She didnt message me and i didnt message her and that was it. I was supposed to meet a girl today but i didnt like her vibe. She didnt replay to my last messages so we didnt meet at all. I didnt feel like it anyways. Another girl stopped replaying to me. Another ghosted me after i told her i have 1.70m. Some other girls didnt replay. I am speaking with a few others now. Maybe i will meet them. So i would really like to see this girl more! Last date i had in January wasnt as good. I was like meh. Next time move on sooner. So many shit to learn and experiment. I also learned to be more chill about these dates. What else? Got drunk last Saturday but didnt blackout. I woke up and drank again at 8. Smoked as well. By 11 i was done. After some junk food i went home. Met with siblings at a BBQ. Got drunk again. Met with other friends at 20 =))). The waiter spilled the drinks on us. What a night! Getting drunk with my friend wasnt as nice as last time. He was annoying. I will take a break from drinking with him for a while. He kept speaking shit about me while getting drunk and i should have left. He does this each time but now it was more annoying. Met with the 3 guys from high school i met last month. Nothing changed that much. Turns out 3 of us had sex with same girl and the 4th one had sex with her sister =))))))))))))))))) Lol. I was in shock. The 4th guy even had a relationship with that girl for 8 months. Wow. She broke up with him last year and he didnt move on. He met another girl, went on a few dates with her and after that they have been speaking for 3 months. He didnt have the balls to ask her out again. I dont understand why the girl keeps speaking even if they dont meet. I asked one of them some dating advice and it was quite good. I need to work harder on myself. I need more dates. He told me he had many failures. He told me to keep going. I stopped speaking with him in high school because i was pissed of him telling me about his dating life all the time. I could have got some nice advice. Worked on my uni project last Saturday but nothing since than. Just work and being too tired and going out. I organized a meeting with friends this week and now i dont want to go that much. Maybe it will be fun. IDK when i will go out with them again. I feel like i need a break. Does it make sense? Eliza - Wasn´t Looking | A COLORS SHOW

Hei Yesterday's exam was a joke. I was worried we will take the test with the professor but we had it with his assistant from the lab. Pff. Everyone cheated. I am mad i didnt cheat even better, lol. After the exam i got a huge burger with schnitzel. Wasnt as good as i remembered but i wanted to get one for a few weeks. Came home and worked. Offered to help a colleague of mine even more. I feel pity for her. She has around 30 accounts and i only have 3 and a tone of free time. After work i did some exercise and wasted some time online on FB and Insta. Insta wasnt as wow as i made it to be when i didnt have access, last 2 weeks. I am thinking to cut these apps again. I didnt miss anything since i was gone. Also, spoke with some girls on tinder. Yesterday's night girl cancelled a few hours before the date. No worries. Spoke with some more girls. Most of them didnt replay. I spoke to have a date with one of them next week on Wed. She is hot. Let's see what happens. I am trying smth new again. To not message them daily until we meet f2f. How about messaging them tomorrow or on Monday? I would look less obsessed and more easy going. I did some exercises with my brother yesterday night as well. That was pretty much the whole day. I am looking back on the last 3-4 weeks of studying and i am fucking happy. No tv series or movie reviews, exercising, studying and doing my routine each day. Fucking awesome! I visualized passing all exams and i worked to pass them. Updates: I am scared i will fail having so much free time on my hands again. It is ok to be afraid. But i am taking care of my habits and myself. I am amazed of what i am doing. I will soon hit 2 months doing these habits. Amazing. Just wow. I woke up late and wasted time online. Worked out and visualized. Worked on my project for uni for longer than ever even if i wanted to say "it is enough for me". I am more resilient now. Wow. In a few weeks i will have this project almost done haha. I am going tonight to get drunk as fuck with a friend =))) Meeting with some other friends tomorrow night and next week. I will have some dates. Good stuff. I asked some girls what should i do with all this free time. They said watch tv ahha =)) No thanks. I will also tell my friends i dont feel like watching 6 hours of the last of us. Meh. I am so proud of myself. Fucking amazing!

Hey I had less to work today and didnt asked for more work. I used the free time to study for that exam. The management professor is comparing in his notes an impulsive manager with Hitler! This man is nuts! I spent some time on Facebook. I stopped each tome since i didnt have anything interesting to watch. I wanted to check my exes but stopped on time. Wanted to check some tv series. Tho, I checked some ppl from high school. Not good memories. I remember feeling envious when i saw this guy getting GF after GF. I felt stupid not getting more experiences last few years. I am dealing with all of that shit. I have so much to learn. Now it makes sense why i didnt want to be single again after each GF. I need to get more dates to show myself i dont need to suffer anymore next to a shit person. Anyway, keep working on yourself. Congrats for not watching tv series for over a month and 17 days. Next thing would be to cut facebook. My siblings went skiing. I am glad i didnt join them to study. Also, wanted to save up money and i did. I asked my brother why he had this trip if he doesnt have money. He said he took money from the business he has with father and will put them back. He said his GF would get mad for not leaving at all. She never worked and gets all the money from her parents. Her mom doesnt say i dont have money like our dad. She complains that my brother doesnt have more money to travel more.

Hey I have 13 more days to finish this month. I received from a colleague some of the problems we have to learn for the next exam. I forwarded them and i was surprised my colleagues didnt start studying yet. Wow. And i was stressing over here lol. Spoke a little more with these girls from tinder. I moved the date with the second girl several times. She didnt like this and seemed annoyed i didnt go out with her sooner. Hmm. She said if i reschedule one more time she will get upset =)))) I dont have regrets, i wanted to study now instead of seeing her. University is much more important than some date. I wanted even more today to watch some tv series. I am almost done with exams. It will be fine. I tried smth different this morning. After doing those exercises for my back i worked our for around 15 minutes. I did pull ups, push ups and some squats. Wow. It was so simple and fast! One girl from tinder replayed after 3 days. She said she forgot about the app. I wonder how it feels to be at that level not even caring if you got a match or not. Not even worrying like me that i am loosing matches if i dont enter daily on the app. Wow. Another girl stopped speaking with me after we didnt go out last weekend. Interesting. Am i desperate for trying so hard to date from this app? But i know tinder got me more date and experience than any other place or app. Hmm. Maybe i will try speaking with girls i find interesting on Instagram even if it feels weird for now. I dont know if i said it here i spoke twice on chat with a nice girl from the SEO department. The second conversation was better but i think i bothered her. I should have talked to her at the Christmas party but i got too drunk. Didnt know what to tell her. I remember that. I really wanted to watch some crap online. Really wanted to watch some shit on YT and so on. I was thinking of Ariana today. I find her style inspiring. From being an actress in Victorious to where she is now. Her style is also very different. I wonder where all this confidence comes from. Just wow. I want that kind of confidence. I also want more experience in dating so what i need to do is more dating! Ariana Grande - 34+35 (Official Live Performance) | Vevo