Everyday

Hey 🍄 Yesterday I was invited by a friend to hunt morel mushrooms in the forest. We found just one because it was too late. I got upset that our business isn't working and I was thinking to tell them I want to not divide everything in equal parts. I'm doing the most work while they enjoy life. Why would he earn the same. I barely read SMTH this week. I spent my time working finding new products. My brother spent his time with his retarded girlfriend. Man, wtf? I felt very upset but I am waiting to calm down to do more discussion this with them. I spoke with more girls from tinder and the conversation lead nowhere. I'm so frustrated because I have so much to get and gain before I can actually get an awesome girlfriend. I'm really not enough. It's frustrating. I didn't drive in months. I can't move out of my parents house and so on. What is the point in having a side hustle and throwing all my money there? I can use that to grow myself. It was hard to stop and calm myself down. I'm alright, I'm improving myself a lot. Yesterday I was able to ask my friend's girlfriend about Spanish and some mistakes I was making. She speaks french and Spanish fluently. She made fun of her by boyfriend for still not learning new languages. Once, again this work I'm doing should pay in a few years. I wonder how they are still together if she's complaining so much about him. Talking about difficult girlfriends - my brother's gf asked me to give her smth a dn i refused. I was surprised to see that she's not used to hear NO. She kept insisting. Overall I'm doing well but I'm not feeling well.

Original title: 167 Days Before College Goals: weekly 30m of shamanic breathing to transition from 30m of do nothing meditation to 30m mindfulness meditation to finish the LP course to spend more time outside to re-start doing mind powers exercises consistently to read at least 3 books to continue pushing myself daily no tv series or movies eating clean(less sweets,bread,processed meat) daily journaling ( onenote) to improve my English skills going to sleep at a decent time(23.00/00.00) to make a vision board no facebook solo meditation retreat to travel alone in my country for at least 3 days to continue abstaining from alcohol and weed (one year and six months since i drank alcohol or smoked weed) to continue nofap ( i relapsed yesterday after one year and three months) Possible goals: pick up yoga classes swimming martial arts part-time job to upgrade concentration practice from 10m to 20m to upgrade meditation practice from 30m to 60m stretching routine Books i want to read/listen to: Holotropic Breathwork: A New Approach to Self-Exploration and Therapy by Stanislav Grof M.D. Conquest of Mind By: Eknath Easwaran (audiobook) “STATUS ANXIETY” BY ALAIN DE BOTTON Stuff Every College Student Should Know (Stuff You Should Know) by Blair Thornburgh Daygame by Tom Torero Day Bang by Roosh V (audiobook/pdf) Getting Things Done by David Allen (audiobook) Boundaries by Henry Cloud (audiobook) The Like Switch by Jack Schafer The Rum Diary: A Novel: Hunter S. Thompson Feel the Fear . . . and Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers (audiobook) Adulting: How to Become a Grown-up in 468 Easy(ish) Steps by Kelly Williams Brown (audiobook) Psycho-Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz (audiobook/pdf) The Defining Decade: Why Your Twenties Matter--And How to Make the Most of Them Now by Meg Jay (audiobook)

Hello 😞 I wasn't very productive today. At least not as much as I wanted to be. I went to buy some clothes and I felt so frustrated that I don't have more dates with awesome and beautiful girls. I left myself get lost in negative thoughts. That I have to wait for so long to get better girls. I need to have more to offer than now. It made me feel insecure. But once I'm in a relationship I'm thinking that Tim wasting time and I'm more productive and better alone. So? I arrived home and just spent my time on Instagram, tinder and YouTube shorts. Disgusting. I felt down and I still do. I got my new glasses and I think they messed up the lenses. I have to get them checked again. I did more Spanish units on Duolingo today. I read a little bit as well. Not too much this week. Woke up late and started work even later because I went to bed at 4 once again.

Hola 🐀 I was surprised that I got a new client at work. Another easy account. I hope things will be good. Working out is going very well. I didn't read as much this week because I focused more ok searching for new products. Learning Spanish on Duolingo is going well. I'm at section 2, unit 16. Day 28. I have harder lessons now. I find that I don't feel like doing time sometimes. Since I started using this app I didn't spend time on IMDb, checking movies and recaps online. I might do it but I don't feel like doing it now. I learned more dating advice from an amazing yt channel. I want an amazing girlfriend but what do I have to offer to her? Girls want to date above now down. I should lower my expectations. Why would a girl want me now? I have to offer more to other people. Also, work on your game and on yourself overall. I'm not sure what I have to offer now. I do know I had even less to offer in the last few years. Now it's much better. In my first relationship I offered all my time but now I don't even want to do that. What is the point in seeing a girl daily instead of working on my goals. I have it so fucking good now. Watching tv series doesn't serve anyone. I feel a little resistant to work out today. I also missed the meditation session yesterday. I realized I need to not expect so much effort from my siblings with our business. I really want to make it work so I have to put the most work here. My brother keeps throwing a negative energy on this business each time I have an idea. His girlfriend does the same. I get it. They are lazy 🦥. I mean I'm doing great overall. The only thing I don't like is that I am fapping daily even if I don't use porn. I thought that I can text M and face sex but it's not a good choice. I fap and calm down. Its ok. Man, I have it sooooo good right now. I am using all my time to work on myself. I'm getting better. Now, I understand people who won't even bother much with relationships. What's the point in watching tv series together and having city dates several times a week? I grew more in the last few months and years by being mostly alone. I do know it feels right to work.

hello 🤗 🍹 Went to sleep at 5 am became I was searching for new products to sell. I also wasted time on social media. I deleted Instagram once again 😞. It's cancer Fapped a lot as well. Spent the day doing Duolingo, imagining my goals, searching for new products and I went to the store to buy food too cook for next week. While I was at the store I kept having negative thoughts stemming from the stupidest things. I felt self conscious of my body language, My achievements and other stupid shit. I calmed myself down. I was invited out by a friend to get high and refused. I want to use my weekends to grow and do stuff that make me a better person. I also didn't ask the girl I was supposed to meet today if she still wants to meet this afternoon. I didn't really want to go on a 5 hours date for nothing once again. I better learn some shit at home. I listened to some dating advice from an interview from soft white underbelly. It opened my eyes 👀....... I need game! I suck at this the most. I'm still resisting to read again a book on dating and how to approach girls. I also got some insights from the red queen. The reason these girls don't call me back is because I don't have smth they want. They maybe want a guy with a car, money and his own place. I lack that so some of these girls don't see the advantage of dating me. Now I see it as well. It makes sense. What else? I keep reminding myself that I am on the right path. Keep being patient. Even if I still think I'm not doing enough I am actually super productive! Man, I'm doing so much already! Amazing! The fact that I'm not watching tv series is really making my life sooooo much better. The free time I have is insane! Also, If I had a relationship I wouldn't have so much time to focus on myself. Mom is doing worse even if my grandma doesn't bother her. She's watching tv series all day. Therefore she doesn't have time for anything else. I behaved the same way almost a year and a half ago. I just wanted to watch tv series and be left alone. She is upset on me for trying to help her. I should give up. I was thinking to get a car as well. It's one of the skills I need and a fear for me. I wan to get that fixed as well. I'm doing over one hour of Spanish on Duolingo. Apparently that's crazy. I was thinking to get some courses going as well

Hey 🛩️ Last week I finished psycho cybernetics. The last pages where about God and it was too much for me. I started reading the red queen. I also finished the first part for the second book from the games of thrones. I read these books in my garden. It was amazing. Worked out less because of back pain and other stuff I had to do. This week I'm back on track. Work was boring so when I didn't pretend to work I was doing Duolingo and listening to Spanish videos from YouTube. I gained more XP than my friend who's also learning Spanish on the app. His 118 day strake turns out to mean nothing. I just learned more words in 3 weeks than him in months. I also got the paid subscription. I am actually understanding some texts I'm Spanish and a few hours here and there I also cooked for myself smth interesting. I bought more books I found on vinted and olx with big discounts. Awesome! I remembered several times that I'm doing very well in different areas of life Had a date with a Japanese girl. She was late but it was fun and interesting. We kissed, held hands etc and walked her to her dormitory building. She didn't invite me upstairs. We didn't speak much before the date. So from now on I won't spam these girls with messages. I don't have to talk with them daily. I'm making out on girls from my area on tinder. I felt frustrated riding the Subway when some girl would flirt and I wouldn't know how to react. I remembered to myself to enjoy life. I'm doing the work every day. I'm so proud of myself. Work is going nowhere, I don't have much to do at the office. I'm spending my free time reading, working out, learning a new language and so on. I'm leaving such am amazing life. I'm excited for the future. Right now, having a relationship with a wrong girls feels stupid. The way I use my free time is exciting. I didn't watch porn but fapped a lot!

Hey 🦎 Spent my day doing Duolingo, reading and imaginating doing my goals and tasks. I worked a little for our business. For some reason I still feel bad even if i had such a great day. I think I feel like that because I didn't work even more on this business. Hmm. I'm looking forward to keep working on myself. Im reminding myself a lot that I'm living a really good life now. I'm making so much progress. I'm excited that I don't have to go to the office this week. I can stay at home and do stuff which are more important for myself. I need to put more time into the side hustle to make it more profitable. I feel some resistance there. But I have the weekend to work on.

Holla 😁 I have been practicing Duolingo for 14 days! I even started practicing at work or listening to Spanish videos on Yt on loop to learn more words and phrases. I think I can count this as a new hobby. How cool is this? I actually like to learn this language in my spare time. Since I started I don't feel so curious to check out tv series recaps like I've been doing for months. I feel stimulated enough by this app. That's fucking awesome! I read more pages and finished the first part of the second games of thrones book. Awesome! I bought some new books as well. I'm excited to read them! Working out is going well but I took a few days off because of forcing myself too much last Friday. I helped my friend, the guy who helps me with eMag to unload a whole container (10 tones). I ordered just 2 boxes with him. It took 3 months to arrive. I have to pay just 7 dollars for the whole 240 products. I got inspired to work harder and much, much more. Man, I want to make a living from this side hustle. He is doing that as well! Had a date and walked her to her apartment. She didn't want to go upstairs. It was a nice girl anyways. We spoke a few more days and she seen my messages. No worries. I refremed more negative thoughts. I have so many! Left and right! I noticed that at work I picked some mistake and amplify it. Is just a mistake, it doesn't define me. I made a new mistake at work and got upset until I remembered to distance myself from work. It's just some mistake. It doesn't mean I need to feel bad for the rest of the day. I spent the following days learning Spanish, working out, reading and so on. I feel very bored at work. I have less and less shit to do and even so I make mistake because I don't really check my handful of accounts. That difficult client noticed the mistake I did in his account. The conversions where doubled. Shit. I didn't even care. I fapped more than once a week but I didn't use porn. I used some reels of hot girls from Instagram. I also deleted Instagram again. I was wasting some time there I had some funny conversations on tinder. A girl got really upset that I didn't right her back after a few messages. I think that's how I look when I text hot girls. I am making a habit to think of happy things and my goals. Like the progress I'm making daily and all the goals I am making progress with each day. Man, my life is going so well! I making fucking progress, man! I'm excited for the future 🌞

Hola 🌽 Forgot to mention that I fapped and watched porn for two days at the beginning of this week. I felt really bad about that. I started practicing Duolingo for 3 days already. I got Duolingo super and I'm excited taking this seriously. I am switching between reading psycho cybernetics, Duolingo and games of thrones. I find psycho cybernetics a hard read for me. But I learned a lot. I am already reframing my thoughts. I have so many negative ones! I said this before in this journal, several years earlier. I also worked out 4 times this week. I forced myself hehe. I was shocked to see how I am telling myself I can't learn Spanish after mistaking one word. Wtf?! I'm speaking with more girls and I am asking them for a date. We'll see what happens. I was talking about my cat with a girl and she asked me if I actually own one. What do you mean by that? Apparently other guys got with her on Instagram and they sent her pics with their dicks hahaha. Wtf. I told her I wouldn't do that since I have my mom, friends and sister and I don't want to have those pics sent to them. That's true! After that she acted like I got friend zoned. Telling me that she drank like a big a night before and other stuff lol I have to keep working on my thoughts. The whole model I use is wrong. I keep imaginging the bad thing I don't want to do instead to visualize success. Interesting! For example thinking all day about watching porn and fapping on the day I did that instead of imagining what I want to actually do. I find psycho cybernetics interesting but there it's a lot of fluff as well. Soooooooooo much talk about god. Off. I contemplated the fact that I enjoy my life now. I'm working on my goals. I feel good about this. After I got drunk and high this week I kept feeling guilty and thought about all the things I should do and other negative outcomes. I always do that. But now I see that I can think of a positive future. I should change my thoughts when I think of exes and other drama. I learned my lesson there

Hello 🌝 Last weekend I finished the second part of the first games of thrones book. I already started the first part of the second book. I also read from psycho cybernetics. It's hard to read but I kept doing it. So much knowledge even if I have to read unimportant anectodes and other shit. I was shocked that I got so much knx from just half a book. I realized that I let my mind think of whatever and mostly sad thoughts. Some about how one day I'll be happy if I have x or y. But I can be happy now! Just by doing my routine. Work was even more boring than last week. I was thinking of the days I'll work from home and I will do whatever I want. Didn't even work or Thursday. I spent my day reading, working out and doing other shit. Last week I worked out 4 times a week. I'm so proud of myself. Met with friends at a bar. I drank 4 beers and arrived home having the usual negative feelings. But why? I'm doing the work, I have no reason to feel bad. I'm working out, reading, taking care of myself, etc. I saw a poliglot on Instagram and made me feel insecure for not learning a new language. I have been telling myself I will learn Spanish one day. Man, it's been 6 years since I returned from the Netherlands and I didn't learn it. I have watched more tv shows than the available Duolingo courses ahahaha. So I got the up once again and hit the second day. I was thinking to get the premium package. I spent money on dumber things. I have the money. I want to learn this language! It's part of my vision. I didn't manage to get new dates. Many girls don't even replay back and I am also not checking the app very often. I bought 5 more used books from vinted and olx since they were cheaper.

Hey💪 I worked out Thursday and Friday. I felt resistant but I forced myself. I felt good afterwards. I doubt myself I can do it. But is all about discipline since it's free to work out. Nothing stops me. Just myself. I almost finished the second part from the first games of thrones books. It's awesome. I didn't read more about the psycho cybernetics. I order 2 more books. Remembered about some other recomended books. Put them on my list to buy them later. I met with the guy who helps me with eMag. Got more insights from him. He confirmed that I need to spent even more money on products to be profitable. We aren't on a winning streak so far. We just put a lot of money in and got stuck with those stocks. I feel a little discouraged. I hoped it will be easier. I had to ask my brother several times before we did smth for out business. He kept saying he's busy. At the middle of the day went out with his mean girlfriend. Called him since I expected him to work as well. He arrived several hours later saying he's busy. Told him that busy messed up his mind. He than left our house and went to meet with his girlfriend again. I got annoyed. He told me that he need some rest since he worked all week and this business doesn't make money. So the solution is to not work?

Hey🪲 Work was boring. I realized like week that the reporting on some account I have wasn't working. I got the account last year in September. Only now I actually checked that. I don't know why I make these mistakes. Of. At work I found some shit to work on to not look like I'm not doing anything. Got back on work when my supervisor came next to me. I started a compliment journal and a self discipline journal. For exemple I resisted buying junk food several times. I closed the bank account I had last year. I got some money from that since it's been a year. When I closed my account I felt worried and anxious. What if I am making some mistake? I want to put half in our business and half in stocks. I feel worried to waste these money. I asked the beautiful girl out again yesterday. Wasn't a good moment since she was out. She said she's free when I have the weekly working out day with siblings. I refused her. We spoke a little more and she seen my last message. I reframed the situation. It does bother me. Maybe the conversation was boring? Anyway, keep up the good work. I got sad at work for not making more money. But this should actually make me sad overall. I can leave all worries and just work out. This doesn't mean I shouldn't work out and so on. I did hesitate to work out. I'm worried I won't be able to work out 4 times a week. Even 3 seems too much. I am worried I will give up because of imaginary reasons. Some self imposed limits. I doubt my ability to finish the games if thrones book series. Interesting. I find it funny. Of course I can finish them! We had more orders the last few days. I bought some interesting books from Leo's list. Books I kept saying that isn't the right time to read. I have the book list since high school. I'm 25 now. It took me a long time to actually start reading. One if the biggest obstacles was to get over watching tv series mindlessly. I'm thinking that psycho cybernetics it's really deeper than I thought the first time I listened to it. Indeed, I can control my mind. I can tell myself what I want to do and envision succes regularly. Maybe I should take a break from reading and focus on analyzing my thoughts. I'm looking forward to work from home this week and basically just read and ignore my job as much as I can. I also need to do more side hustle work. I need to find new products. I need to figure out for what categories to include in my brand application. I have to pay for each category. I feel resistant. I want to make that my full time job but I am afraid to move on. I'm worried to loose all that money. The way things are now I won't be able to get a raise anytime soon. I made mistake after mistake so my supervisor doesn't trust me to get new accounts. It looks like eMag it's the only way out right now. I have to make it profitable asap. Realistically I can make the side hustle work but I need to be patient. Maybe I have to wait a few years. I have to keep my job until than. It's normal to be afraid. You'll make it work eventually. Others have done that.

Hey 🐛 I sent the final list for the 3rd order from china. I'm working on another one as well, coming by ship. Worked on our business. Found new products and brainstormed new listings. Worked out again and to be honest I didn't want to. I have a mental wall 🧱 built about being able to work out 3 times or more per week. I almost finished half of the first games for thrones book. I researched new books I want to get as well. I finally managed to start the ads for that difficult client. The guy from data didn't do well the tracking part. After I enabled those campaigns I mailed him. He didn't even know what starting the campaigns even means. Wtf! I had a feedback call with one of the bosses. I didn't complain much. She even asked me if I'm ok with my salary but I said no. I asked her why do many people leave from SEO. They where fired. I didn't expect that. They weren't making as much progress as they should have done. Off... I felt that this might happen to me soon. The beautiful girl canceled the date because she had to help her sister. I don't know if she lied or not. It does affect me but I need to move on. I messaged the date from money and she seen my message. It affected me but I need to reframe it. Most of the life I want isn't found in a relationship. I just need to keep working on myself for myself. I went alone to see dune 2 today. No body else really wanted to come. I found myself wondering why I'm there when I could be actually home working on myself. For example why not working out 4 times a week? It's free! I just think I can't do it. ✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅But I can! I will show myself I can. It takes just one hour! Working out more often is more of what I want myself to do and become. I liked the movie! Can't wait to read the books as well! After the movie, I checked my phone to see if I had any orders or messages form the girl I was supposed to meet tomorrow. I had a call from my father and aunt. Didn't call her but I called my father. My aunt called the nursery home and threatened them with he police for keeping my grandma there. The nursery manager called mom to take her to out today. 🤕🤕🤕 I can't believe this! She was taken care of there but she kept called everyone to say she's in danger there and so on. I was really thinking the whole problem is solved. My grandma is getting fed, washed, medicated, etc. Nope, my aunt had to make a scene and now she is back at her house. She wasn't able to open her own door. Yet, my aunt says she's able to take care of herself. My mom said she won't take care of her anymore. She had enough. I don't know what will happen now. I didn't expect this at all.

Hey 💐 I had a date on Monday and I wondered if she will show up or not. It was the first one this year. She was actually nice and we spent a few hours together, first at a bar and later walking. I kissed her at the end and judging by her body position and movement I had a feeling I won't see her again. I reframed what might have been her reason. Maybe she looked for someone who had his own place. She mentioned smth about we'll see where we go after the date. Hmm. Maybe when I have a place I can just to with girls at my place. Anyway, she was a foreigner and I had a good time with her. I didn't feel like I wasted my time but I did want to see her again. She didn't replay to my last message and I got a little disappointed. The other girls I was talking with found reasons about why we can't meet. Most of them told me they don't know their schedule for this week. It looks like they waited for smth better. Hmm. I have no idea. Anyway, it was fun and I am looking forward to keep working on myself. I almost finished reading metamorphosis and other stories by Kafka. I find It absurd how the guy was so stressed of making his boss mad. He was a 🪲 but still wanted to go to work. I ordered the games of thrones series and now I started reading the first book. Just like those people did before me. I felt excited reading it at first because it's entertainment for me. It got easier to read after I don't have the option to watch tv series. But after I started reading I felt weird. Sad for some reason. Can't explain it. I 🤔 think I'm not enough. Work was boring overall. I made new mistakes. I forgot the add the 0 from a phone number from an ad and it wasn't working. Looking again I realized I had a wrong number in the ad as well. Lol. That was active for like over a year. Haha. Again, this means no new clients. Another client started threatening me because the data department didn't finish his tracking sooner. I found it funny. He was saying stuff like I'll change password for the cpanel if you dont fix this in 20 minutes. Haha. Fuck you! Today I saw that Data put the wrong code. We don't have access to that one anyway. Lol. haha. I finally set up a date with a very beautiful girl. The conversation didn't go very well in the beginning. She told me that my attempt to start a conversation wasn't funny but I brushed it off. I also find it interesting how I want to see her just because she's beautiful even if we didn't have interesting conversations :)))) We'll meet this Sunday. She was busy the whole week or smth. The other two girls I asked put said they have plans this week after telling me they don't know their plans. I'm not sure I want to see the 3rd tomorrow. Meh. What else? This morning I went with my brother and mom to send my Grandma to a nursing home. My mother was barely keeping herself sane. She can't deal with the stress my grandma is causing her. We tricked her that she's going to do some exercises for her back just for 2 days. The home is nice. My Grandma walked around there with her bag full of money besides her. While she was doing exercises my brother and I noticed she can move better than we thought. She's just exaggerating. On our way home, mom broke down and strated crying. Taking care of her mom is too much for her. A few hours later she stated calling all of us over and over again saying she doesn't like it there. The tv is too loud. The idea to come there was stupid, etc. My mom got a lot of messages from different relatives after a few hours. My grandma must have called them. Yesterday she spoke with one of the and that lady told my mom she's sinning for abandoning her mom like that. My mom started yelling at her. After work I arrived home and I was surprised to see that my mom still isn't feeling relaxed. She's still worrying and so on. She is back watching tv series to escape reality. Arrived home and did my routine. It felt good

Hey🗡️ Thursday was such a difficult day. I really felt down and spent most of the day playing some defense video game on some website. I started reading the stranger by Albert Camus. I did some stuff at work too. The day started walking up late and already stressing that clients will mail me some shit. Next day I finished the stranger and I don't know what to say. Life doesn't have meaning and that's why I should strive to be better. Also, I felt so amazing that I finished that one. I didn't feel any accomplishment when I was watching tv series. Interesting. Just a day before I wanted to give up. I saw M in traffic, first time since October. She didn't see me. I was thinking immediately I'm shit for not getting other girl and how I should do x and y. But I made lots of progress since than. I'm thinking to finished all the games of thrones books or the dune series. Hmm. Maybe game of thrones. 6 years ago I felt bad when a guy from NL talked about the fact he read all of them. An ex and a friend said that too. Anyway, I'm also reading the confidence course and I want to be sure I am applying everything I learn from there. I quit several courses and self help books. I need to build this new habit. I was thinking that I didn't even bother to check the books that my exes where reading. Interesting. I didn't care at all. I didn't feel like I can read either. I feel so amazing that I'm reading now. I feel that is unreal how I can finish a book in a few days where as I didn't feel good after watching so many tv series. Nothing but shame. I want to do even more but I think it's enough for now. This month I want to pay for my new glasses. I read the metamorphosis by Kafka. I got bad reviews about her from my sister and her boyfriend but I liked it. It's absurd, he woke up a bug and worries so much about his work. Just like I worried so much about university and work. Pathetic. The stories from his books resembles the ones from soft white underbelly.

Hellos 🏇 I finished the book at the mountains of madness! The the second book this month! It was amazing! Lots of films I like are inspired by his books. I started reading the stranger, now! I feel good reading. It feels right. Fuck tv series and movies even if I still feel like wasting my time with them I feel like that junk good urge isn't as strong as it used to be. I understand at a deeper level that I don't have to actually eat junk food just because I think smth or feel bad. I feel like a superhuman passing by junk food without stopping there alone. Work was stressful and frustrating. Made new mistakes with these clients. Wasted time being at work just because I had to be there. I think I made some mistakes helping that girl from work. She didn't give me extra stuff to do but shes too nice to point it out. Idk. I didn't get new accounts since I kept making mistakes. Man, I didn't even think of those problems. Asked for help and my supervisor said you are the specialist! Find a solution man! I really didn't know what to do. Offff I have this belief that I cant work out hard and cook and take care of myself because people will think I'm stupid since I don't do well at work. Lol. Funny, right? I should do these things because they make me feel good. These habits make me feel on the top of the world. It's such a great thing to take care of yourself. It's really hard as you see so many people struggling with this. Everyone is wondering what are they doing with their life. I just need to do it, I need to work out. That's it. What I'm best at - doing stuff on repeat. Make it great! I learned new tricks on eMag from the guy who helps me. Hehe. Told him what I've learned as well. Hehe. I'm testing a theory about getting the top favorite label on my products. I really want to do eMag full time. Man, I can really achieve such great things. I don't feel like I'm growing at work. It feels so hard to make progress at my current job. Doing eMag feels so easy. It feels right. I feel affected by the fact that I'm not doing well at work and I don't earn more either. I don't feel like growing as fast as I want. It makes me feel upset having to take care of these clients man. This client had two different GA4 and GTM accounts and I never thought to check that. He has no idea what is going wrong. Seo had access on the other account and the GTM remains a mystery. He has no idea who made it. I'm getting lazy at work. Besides these crazy clients I don't have to do much. I don't feel like doing the little shit left for me to do. Lol. Id rather do my own thing Spent more time on my phone from time to time but nothing crazy. Its a disease indeed. I'm excited to work out again and read more books. It feels right. Went to bed super late and u had a hard time arriving on time at work. I kept talking with some girls and it goes nowhere each time. I feel like they get bored and don't want to actually meet me f2f. It was way easier to get dates last year. Now, it feels like these girls just want to talk 🤣. I don't know man. Saw my friend's ex on Tinder. They just broke up last year. He's not doing great.

Hello 🙌 Didn't work much for my job last 2 days. Just searched for new products. Some of them weight too much to even be worth bringing them here. I should have checked that too. I didn't want to think extra. I am frustrated that we aren't selling more with out side hustle. I presented them the products I found and my brother kept talking shit. That we need to do x and y but Im doing most of the work. He doesn't feel like working. It makes me feel frustrated. I'm also frustrated that I have to go to work on Monday to get paid shit and not actually do anything important. Just checking my little accounts and pretending to work. I want to make this side hustle to work and quit my job. That's the plan. I want to use my inheritance money to pay for bigger imports. I want to make $1000 and quit my fucking job. I can do eMag full time. I know I can! I need to work more and more and more. I can fucking do it man! I'm wasting my time at my current job. I'm shit after 3 years there. So choose a better job suitable for your goals and shit like that. Man, I really don't want to go tomorrow at work. Fuck that shit! It was a Sunny Saturday so I went in the park to read a book. Awesome! I finished the book on speeches I had from my ex. Took me 3 years to finally read it. How did it influenced my life? Great things take time. Also, I have some expectations that great things will happen to me as I'm doing the work. I expected girls to jump on me just because I'm productive and a so on. So the problem is that I expect to get a girl just because I'm making my life better. Look around! Smarter and richer people are still single. There is nothing wrong with me. Do the work. Just because you work out, read, cook, etc doesn't mean that a girl should like you. That's not enough Fapped and watched porn after my last post. This happend a few times, right after writing down my progress. I felt so upset and disgusted of myself. Yesterday night was hard. I wanted to watch tv series. Spent 2 days playing video games on my phone. Went to bed late listening to podcasts about drug addicts, prostitutes, etc. I also restarted a confidence course I bought 6 years ago. I need to understand how can some people be so confident without being for or having money and so on. What is the difference? In one of the podcasts I listened to them was a obese girl with more confidence than I ever had in my life. She referred as herself as beautiful, a model, etc. Unreal. How? How do you love yourself so much? Was it fake? I bought some books after I finished my last one. I'm reading at the mountains of madness. It's fucking amazing. I can wait to read again in the park. I'm not feeling great. I even considered watching some tv series. Like It wouldn't matter, right? I just can use my time in a better way. I know is hard. It's supposed to be. Keep doing. Keep going.

Hey🍹 Kept doing my daily routine. I'm very proud of it. Found. new products as well. Went to sleep so late I slept through my alarms. My mom woke me up to go to work. Went to work and my supervisor scolded me for making mistakes on a client's account. He told me he'll make me only do implementation if don't think more when dealing with these clients. I felt upset. Why am I here if I keep making mistakes, don't earn more and so on. Fuck that shit. I'm here for 3 years and I still struggle with my job. Maybe I should quit and do e-commerce full time. I'm feeling like I'm wasting my time at work. I do like to work like a robot endlessly. Basically this means searching for new products or doing listings. Again and again. Met with a friend and a colleague from high school. He's doing great! Just bought an apartment with some money he saved and a loan from his parents. He still has a girlfriend and a side chick. He quit his previous job and found smth better. Damn! Good for him My friend quit his job as well but he's spending this unlimited free time to play video games. He's struggling to get his shit together. I still didn't fap and didn't buy junk food. This is going well. I'm talking with some new girls. Things are leading nowhere. One of them went from warm to cold after asking her out. It should be my conversation skills that make it hard for me to get more girls. I decided to read some books about making better conversation with strangers and girls. This will definitely make me better. I'm thinking to start an improv course next month. It looks really cool. I think it will help me with my conversation skills. 🥲 Me and the guy who helps me with eMag strated checking the companies of the people who ran the telegram group I joined. The boss has just 2 companies and just one of them is actually selling stuff online. He has a brand and a website. He did make as much money as he said but is exaggerating. For example he's showing us products that he's planning to sell but in reality he is lying. Damn, I really believed him. You can trust what others are saying. I checked a few more and I was shocked they aren't actually making money. One of them had all the products standard. Not even hot. Pathetic. These people bragged about how much money they're making. The reality is that they are some barefoot people lying.

Hey 🍹 So I forgot to mention that we spoke a little about books. Apparently she only reads romance novels. This explains everything. 🥴 Maybe I should have asked her out on my knees, face to face 🤣🤣🤣🤣. She wrote me again and I spoke with her a little bit. Yeah, I shouldn't replay to her anymore. Time wasted. I think some of these girls just want a pan pal, not to actually meet with someone. Idk, last year wast as hard to meet them lol. I made some time to text but got bored. I think before I asked them more questions and insisted much more. I don't know. Maybe I should ask more about their lives. Idk. I do want to get laid but I'm fine now. I am looking forward to work out tomorrow. I asked for help and solved some problems I had last week with some clients. One if their programmers isn't doing his job because he's in vacation yet again in Thailand. He's always late with simple tasks because of his schedule. What else? Cooked today as I do each week. Went out during one break, worked more and felt bored at work. I did my tasks and my colleagues tasks. Listened to some interview while I was working and a few more while I was cooking. I tried new combinations with sweet potatoes, pork, Chicken, wellness mix, sauce and a Chinese mix. Awesome. It's already midnight. I have done enough. I still feel I am not doing more. I'll do more. și am becoming more and more extreme in my approach to self development. A few years ago I couldn't live without tv series. I got that shit under control. Damn it's a plague. Last weekend I thought about watching some tv series but I remembered how bad I felt watching some shit the whole weekend. Especially on a Sunday night, Knowing I have to go to work next morning. Oh, and I arrived earlier at work. Nice. I was supposed to get a paper from my doctor to go to the dermatologist. I planned this meeting since November last year or December... I kept postponing and I can't go tomorrow. Damn, it's the second time I make this mistake. A new sales guy was kicked out of his job at our agency last year. I never asked why. Turns out he did some shit. He wanted to steal the data from some of our clients. That's why we changed the door passcode. 😂. Well, I'm basically selling the products form one of our clients. I didn't tell them that and I won't 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 Tomorrow I go at work and work out afterwards, I will also read and meditate Wednesday I will go to work and search for new products Thursday I will work from home and search for new products. Friday I will work from home and got o my sister's bf house to work out This weekend I will do the same thing as last week. I'll search for new products.

Hi 😅 Last night all went to shit. I fapped several times on Saturday and this Early morning. I even watched porn. I couldn't control myself. It was so strange. I even thought of watching a TV series. Damn. Horrible. I feel disappointed of myself. I found new products tho. I was resistant to start searching. I read a lot but spent some time watching reels on insta, fb and YouTube. I feel ok now, just disappointed. I also lost some hope searching for new products. ☹️ Today I will work out for the 3rd time this week, I already read, I'll meditate and search for more products. Hehe.

Hey 😌 I spent more days without fapping and reading instead. It turns out I have a habit of fapping just because I saw some hot girl or smth. Interesting. Also, some of that fapping is due to feeling frustrated. I feel like I should fap now but I don't feel that need as much. I can resist some more. Damn, I'm proud of myself. I decided to work out 3 times a week. It's fucking free! I do have the time now as well! I feel super excited. I set up a mental limit to work out just 2 times a week. I can do it for sure more times. My schedule is free. I want to go to a park to read but I think it's cold tomorrow. But I'll do this. At least I'll read more tomorrow. I will work less instead. I should take more care of myself. I am close to finish the book I'm reading. Looking forward to read psycho cybernetics. Asked a few more girls out and I got rejected elegantly several times. I am not sure what I'm doing wrong. 🤔. I need to update my profile but still. I am thinking that I need to replay super fast to each new match to make some conversation before I get forgotten. Asked a girl out for drinks and she said she doesn't drink. Asked her out for a coffee. She said she doesn't drink coffee. Me neither but the point is to meet. Why is so complicated? Lol, that conversation was really funny. Didn't insist to meet her. I'm good, thanks The rest of the year looks promising as fuck. I'm proud of myself doing my routine. Things aren't great at work but I don't stress as much as I used to. Made some mistakes again and I'm trying to make things right now. Some client is threatening to leave and I couldn't care less. He is charging more for the services I'm advertising for him and therefore he has less clients now. He still can't understand why people won't pay more for his shit business. He's messaging me daily about not having enough clients. Man, I told you already..... He keeps asking stupid questions and I'm getting annoyed. I didn't have time for much yesterday. Instead of doing my routine I helped a colleague do her own campaigns. Off. Just say no. Met with a friend the other day. We talked about how we are already 25 and we aren't where we want to be. He was also talking how hard it is to get dates now. I still live with my parents haha. I didn't travel as I thought years ago. I didn't do many things. 😂😀😀 So here I am doing these things now. Awesome, it's not late tho... He's not doing great now. He also feels frustrated. So you are supposed to work hard but also socialize and go out a lot. But if you do both too much isn't good either. After my first break up I just waited for some girl to fall from the sky and date her. Didn't happen. I didn't even have a single date for a year and a half. It was hard to even take some pics and use them on tinder. Damn. So I didn't get any experience on dating just by simply working on myself. I need to keep asking girls out and get more and more experience. This is the way. A few years ago I looked down on people past 30 and wondered what they did with their lives. Why they didn't do more? Well, why didn't I do more by this age? Fears, etc. I spent so many years watching tv series. That is where my time went my friend. This is why I'm so proud of myself now. I really grew so much last year. I learned from the book that I'm reading that great things take time. I can talk about an amazing life in 5 years. I'm building to get there bit by bit. I finally feel I'm ready to read the books that Leo talked about since I was in high school. Bro, it's been years but I'm there at last. I finally have nothing better to do than read these books. This came after a year of not watching tv series and yt. Also, after stalking teo1 and realizing I need to fuckin read books. What new things are left to do now? Some courses, driving and going to the gym. I'm getting my life together.

What's up?🌸 I came to the conclusion that I should work out 3 times a week and more intense. That's what I need to do. I should use more of my free time to work on myself. Read more books and so on. Do stuff for myself. Also, I should go out of the house more. For example I can read in a park. That's an idea I got from a tinder girl. I'm staying too much indoors. Work was boring and I felt stupid for being there. I could do smth more productive with my time. I didn't get more clients because I struggle with the ones I already have. Offf. I feel stupid. Sold more stuff on eMag and I wonder when I'll make enough to quit my job. I feel like I'm wasting my potential with my current job. I kept talking with girls on tinder and I get seen or the conversations get boring and we both stop trying. I feel horny but also happy with my routine and how my life is now. I managed to not fap for a full week and one day. Awesome. Man, im working on not fantasizing about dating some girl from tinder. We haven't even meet I'm better single than in a toxic relationship. What else? invest more in yourself. Read more books. I find it difficult after work tho. I'd rather do nothing. I spent some time on reels today. It was a plague. But it could be worse. Used to do this daily last year. An older colleague from work who used the go to the gym for a few months for 3+ times a week gave up since December. He's feeling down. He won't work at home either. Paid for another gun membership but he still doesn't go there. He's 35. So this work doesn't ever get easier. Keep up the good work.

Hey 😌 I figured out I can read Leo's blog post to practice diction by reading out loud. I didn't think of this before. I spent an hour today reading out loud some tv series recap. I'm still waisting some time doing that. I should avoid waisting my time with those recaps Evel if I'm not actually watching the episodes. I was supposed to have a date yesterday but she canceled last minute. I don't know why. I also didn't speak with more girls from tinder. I have some matched there for a few days already. The other 2 girls I was speaking with didn't text me. After I woke up late I felt bad for not doing it earlier. I calmed myself down. I spent most of the day doing listings and other improvements for the business. I was tired and didn't wanted to go on. I was thinking what I can do more but how about improving what I'm doing now. I can work out more often and better. I can read more. I was wondering what am I doing with my life. I'm 25 since September. What have I done since? Do I have enough time to change my life until I'm 30? It feels so stupid to spent my limited free time to watch tv series. I better read some books. I'm proud of the way I spent last year. I'm proud of how I started this year as well. I'm not feeling like watching porn and the fapping urges went away. Another week has passed and I'm wondering if I'm on the right path. I'm doing more than ever. Reading was smth I have been postponing for years. Others were reading since middle school. They have hundreds of books ahead of me. I feel stupider with each step I take. There is sooo much more to improve. But I'm not feeling hopeless like the way I felt watching YouTube videos, tv series and other crap. Man, my brain was melting because of Instagram, yt shorts, porn, etc. I feel so proud of the way I lived last year even if I spent most of the year going to university. My mind was so stressed around this time a year ago. I didn't even think I have time to read smth useful. Nothing. Just going to university, working on that disgusting thesis and shit like that. Time passed so fast. Four years in that disgusting university, wasting my fucking time. Now, im not doing anything with that degree. I was so afraid to quit tho. I had such a hard time staying as well. I just thought I'll figure things out after university. Now, it feels like real life started. So, am I taking advantage of this life? Maybe I should take a walk in the park tomorrow. I haven't done that in awhile. Maybe take a long walk as well. I'm not hyped to go to work tomorrow. Maybe I should get another job. Until than I'm trying to make this side hustle work. Maybe I should get a job at eMag. I could get some insider information. I'm wondering why I have my current job. I'm not feeling excited anymore. I'm just getting my little paycheck each month. I'm not seeing how can I use the things I learn at work right now. I feel like I'm comfortable here.

Hey🧞 Didn't fap but I did watch porn. Man, last night it was so difficult to resist. I just didn't want to hate myself for fapping so I didn't do it. I felt so proud of myself. I spent several hours scrolling on tinder, Instagram, Facebook and some other crap. I was glued to my screen and remembered how addictive it is. Damn. Made me feel stupid. We had like 15? orders yesterday so a new milestone was achieved. Awesome! I set up a date with a girl from tinder. She is nice and 27. I spoke with another for a week but she has exams now. Our conversation got more boring and I didn't write to her at all. She didn't either. Today work was intense. I did a bunch of phone calls, which I don't like. Solved some shit. I procrastinated a little as well. I felt bored to do my job. Helped a colleague as well. I am waiting to get new clients to ask for a raise. I had an idea💡. Why not get a job at eMag in a division which is searching for new products to sell for them or smth similar. Maybe a job at support. Last year I had a date with a girl who said she was doing smth like that for this company 🤔. Im thinking to text her and learn more. That would be a dream job! My current job isn't alignment exactly with e-commerce since I don't want to have a website now and I don't make enough money. That girl I told you about is traveling monthly. Awesome!

Hello 🍻 Had another call with a client and fixed nor problems. Spent my weekend working on our side hustle. Read more from that book 📖 , worked out and meditated. I went on Friday evening to meet with my friends for a b'day. I got drunk and high. It was fun. Bought some good on my way home and walked home. After I arrived I watched porn and fapped. I felt very bad the next 2 days. Went out again on Sunday. It was fun and I didn't overspent. We are almost out if stock on the most sold product. Jeez, the new products we bought arent even selling. Of. I felt stupid and discouraged. I talked with my family about renting a car and it turns out is more expensive than I thought. Shit. I can't afford to buy a new car now. I had that old car for several years but I was too afraid to drive. I made some more mistakes at work. I didn't get new clients. Doesn't look like I will because of these mistakes... I feel discouraged. Spent the whole day there and I can't say I got much smarter. Not at all. Arrived home and just cooked. Did my routine tired as fuck and started all over again the next day. Same for today. I'm 25, what is the point to watch tv series, movies and shit like that? I'm growing older and I get no value from them. I still daydream about changing my life magically in a few years...just like i said a few years ago. Should I do more? Maybe work out more, read more, date more, do some courses, etc. Am I even doing enough? I wasted sooo much time. I'm reading now but I have to do this for the rest of my life to see benefits. That's the point. It takes time to actually grow. I also should be dating now. I'm 25, what am I waiting for? I keep myself form swiping too much because I might ruin future possible dates. Lol. I should date now not later in order to learn! I also should have a place of my own to bring these girls smr I'm wondering how much can I really change in a few years, before I turn 30. I basically have a limited amount of time I can do in productive stuff besides work. I can use that time to learn smth new, read a book, work out, etc. I should look at one of the root causes of my complaints - my job. Maybe I should go somewhere else and work there for more money. Maybe I should invest even more in this side hustle. What else? I didn't actually went to sleep on time lately. I also fapped yesterday. Thought of an ex and of some girl I'm speaking with on tinder. A month of this year already has passed. It was good overall. I'm really stressing about this side hustle. I'm impatient.