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Posts posted by Igor82

  1. Guide for men:

    1. Grab a fleshlight, an anal vibrator or crystal dildo. Get naked.
    2. Attach the fleshlight to a large mirror. Or if you want privacy; on the bathroom wall with the shower water gently running down (blending the sounds).
    3. Take your preferred psychedelic aphrodisiac (mine is Weed). You can also aid with aphrodisiac scents
    4. Put on your speaker with your favourite sex music
    5. Begin foreplay:
      • Touching body
      • Taking that shower
      • Looking into that mirror
      • Gazing at the fleshlight
      • Playing with the anal toy
      • Fantasizing
    6. Now that you are horny, begin the sexual act with the fleshlight and/or the anal dildo.
      • Make sure that you start slow. Avoid premature ejaculation. Aim for 1 hour.
    7. Incorporate Taoist/tantric breathing techniques; actively transmute the sexual energy using your conscious intent and breath. You can also moan (sounding).
    8. If you are using the mirror, make sure that you look at your body and muster full self-acceptance of your body and sexuality; feeling your sexiness.
      • If you are using the shower, make sure that you are looking at your body from available angles; feeling your sexiness.
    9. Now when the breathing is semi-automatic: Let your fantasies run wild!
      • I have done some sessions: 
        • While raising the sexual energy to my third eye -feeling gratitude- while manifesting my dreams of financial freedom. As if I fucked my visions; Pleasurable.
        • Fantasizing sex with a potential partner (I'm single).
        • Imagining myself fucking myself as if I were "The girl in the mirror".
        • Imagining a perfect intimate partner to which I loved to give amazing levels of pleasure to.
        • Vividly imagining (with the help of sexual energy) having sex with a beautiful partner (as if it were real because the mind can't tell the difference).
          • Dominating her with my endless sexual energy, looking her deep into her eyes while dancing-thrusting to the music
    10. Alternative climaxes:
      • Regular ejaculatory orgasm, enhanced when looking yourself into the eyes (in the mirror), or when vividly visualizing your dreams.
        • Also enhanced by the vivid imagination of having simultaneous orgasms with your imaginary sexual partner.
      • Energetic orgasm using breathing and tantric/Taoist techniques.
      • No orgasms, just a closing gesture when you feel satisfied.
    11. If ejaculation: Sit with yourself for 15 minutes after the orgasm, to turn the post-orgasm boding moment inward for self-acceptance & self-love.


    This practice is likely to increase self-esteem:

    • Through radical self-acceptance.
    • Through psycho cybernetics of attracting a partner through visualization.
    • Practising imaginary sex is no different from practising real sex - for the mind.
    • Through mastering sexual transmutation thus building confidence in being able to last a long time in bed. Confidence in your ability to pleasure her.
    • Through being able to radically fulfil your sexual desires solo, thus not needing a partner.
    • Through potentially transforming PMO addiction into something more desirable and healthy. 
    • Through practising semen retention due to mastering sexual energy transmutation and weening yourself off from less pleasurable forms of masturbation such as PMO.
    • Through connecting more with your feminine side, embracing it with love.

    = = = = =

    I once had such a powerful ejaculatory orgasm with the fleshlight attached to the mirror after 10 days of nofap, looking myself deeply into the eyes, in pure awe of the climax, while high in weed. Radical Love. A radical level of self-acceptance that significantly altered daily life.

  2. What ultimately helped me drop many addictions is the law of "awareness is curative". Leo made a video on it.

    • When I scroll on facebook nowadays, I'm very aware of the minutes ticking by. 
    • When I watch porn, I'm aware of the sensation in my body, the after effects
    • When I eat junk food, i'm aware of the taste, but also how I feel the day after


  3. Sweden: Järntoget. A "capital" of drug dealing in Gothenburg.

    It's a place I have researched through imperical observation. I have been tripping in that place more than 3 times (Moderate doses: LSD, Weed), deliberately observing.

    4 times I have been scammed in the same way: Black people trying to sell me weed. Of course, the weed was fake each time.

    But these people were convincing. They were so convincing that I repeated my mistakes. 

    Basically, they acted as if their weed was real and that I was getting a bargain. They used always doubled down on their lies that "the weed was real", they even acted as if they expected me to buy the thing, because it was gonna be worth it. Their reasons always made sense, their acting went along with their style, the environment.

    Basically, they acted superbly as if they had good weed and that I should buy it. They acted as if they were real-deal sellers, selling me good stuff, where they actually didn't. 

    The thoughts always came to me that they might be scamming, but I couldn't find any evidence for it, because their act was so congruent; and so I got scammed in self-doubt, "taking the risk" so to speak.

    I can only imagine people who has not been scammed before thus don't get the suspicion in the midst of their congruency. But they have to be very congruent: to make their reasons for trading with you, believable: "Win win"

    It's as if the scammers apply to our good nature, and they do this with congruent acting. As if it was real: No suspicion = free money for the scammer.

  4. I read everything up until page 18; what a beautiful tread! I brought out the snacks for this one.

    I think that all sexual and relationship problems between men and women stem from lack of understanding the truth of the other person's perspective. Where intimacy lies in expressing radical honesty - to share one's perspective with another. For if the man was truly interested in hearing the perspective of the woman, there would be no problem for the woman, vice versa. For some reason, men and women have a hard time understanding each other's perspectives. I judge men who don't understand the importance of understanding the woman for intimacy to even be enjoyed, to be unwise. 

    From my experience of doing cold approaches with radical honesty, it seems obvious to me that the majority of women are unwilling to truly listen to the man's perspective, understandably as many men can be labeled "predictable" and "sneaky - hiding their true intentions". 

    But tell me, whenever you as a woman feel the vibe that the man hides his intentions, or "just wants sex", do you ever tell him outright -your perspective- that "you think that he just wants to have sex with you and that he hides his intentions?" This will bring the problems right up to the surface to be processed. I'm saying that it's effective for intimacy to occur when all the "assumptions about the other person" are brought to light. Because assumptions are by definition false, where intimacy entails the correcting of assumptions.

    Understanding each other doesn't happen until a person gets thoughts that match the reality about the other person. Both people can reach a full understanding of each other while still being "man and woman": Where they can understand that they are both turning each other on.

    And so, the solution to all sexual and relationship problems is where everybody communicates in a way that makes other people understand them, where understanding leads to "consent" (understanding consent). Thus: 

    • if you as a woman are dealing with a drunk guy, then maybe it's inappropriate for you to expect that he will understand your "subtle cues". Be more explicit with words.
    • If you as a woman are dealing with men approaching you, seek to understand their perspective and probe that understanding by explicating your thoughts and feelings to him! This forces him to be honest.
    • If you are a man, always explicate your truth. Same for women. Seek to be understood with your truth, especially in your intimate relationship investments.
    • If you are a woman and you know that you live in a society where men are prone to be unwilling to understand your perspective, please be honest about it: while you wear a pepper spray to reduce risking having your physical boundaries be crossed.
    • If you are afraid that if you express your feelings that the other person might dislike it; <- express that! 

    I know that I am attractive (because I turn myself on). And so, Girls who reject me without understanding me are not willing to understand me. That makes me turned off. I, as a man, get turned on by women who are open to understanding my perspective, because it fits perfectly with my willingness to understand hers. I feel satisfied enough with the love I give to myself at the moment that I don't need an intimate relationship with a woman because I already have an intimate relationship with the woman within myself!!

    And so, a woman who is not interested in understanding me is missing out on me. Here where I live in Sweden, the majority of women that I approach seem either:

    1. Not willing to understand my perspective (for reasons; Projection, fear, boyfriend, busy, etc)
    2. Showing unattractive features which makes me disinterested in the investment of understanding her perspective any further (in case of fulfilling the purpose of the approach which is to have an intimate relationship.)
    3. A combination of 1 & 2.

    It's rare for me to find a girl who is willing to open herself up to true intimacy and understanding right of the bat, where it's extremely rare for me to find a girl who radiates self-love, radical honesty & curiosity for the perspectives of men, where she explicates all her feelings and thoughts to him unconditionally, prompting him to do the same. Such a girl will attract a partner who values radical honesty and will unconditionally explicate their own perspective to her, where they both are full of self-love, they will enjoy a fantastic interdependent relationship. Although it's very rare that such people will even meet: As it seems like the majority are stuck in a state of unwillingness to truly and directly understand each other. Afraid of intimacy as it seems.

    Note that a "subtle signal" ("implicit") is actually an explicit signal if the other person verifies that they understand. I love "subtle cues" and it's a great form of communication, only if it's clear that they are understood.

    - - - - -

    We are great at misunderstanding each other, until all the rape, abuse, pain and suffering will force us to empower effective solutions; such as simply telling the truth and prompting others to do the same.

    All rape would cease if the people committing rape would truly understand how it feels to be the one getting raped.


  5. @justfortoday Gotcha, thanks for the clarity! Profile pic looking sharp! Nice haircut! Beautiful lips.

    It's amazing how intuition knows all of this. So, it's tenable that intuition is "in alignment with" the highest authority. The journey is to fully integrate intuition, to completely understand these principles, through a gradual "rewiring" of understanding truth through clarity, letting illusions melt away.

    I love you. 


  6. @justfortoday

    3 hours ago, justfortoday said:

    Every single frame of reality you are living ALREADY exists. You are the screen of your "computer" recalling files from your harddrive —

    Each second of your life = My_lives_001.mp4, My_lives_002.mp4, My_life_003.mp4 - to infinity.

    But each file has been playing on LOOP for eternity.

    You, as absolute consciousness right now, choose to *fork* and create new files / moments of reality.

    My_lives_001_001.mp4, My_lives_001_002.mp4, etc.

    You choose to recall those moments that have been happening for eternity on loop, and can modify / create something new from these moments.

    This way, reality is a chain reaction that continuously creates new video files.



    Just like a zoom call and you being the host.

    Except MORE people are jumping on the call because you are CREATING more POVs with your imagination.


    My beautiful friend. I love your profile pic, especially the angle at which the face is shown, which makes him look sexy. I also get inspired by the integrity you seem to carry with expressing these insights in a minimalistic way. Thank you. I do this too, with Love.

    I was just about to ask you the question of how can every file be in a loop forever?

    Yet I approach that question with linear thought. 

    You say that I fork experiences to create new ones. That means that I have chosen to live in infinite ways, in this body, lived through all possibilities. And in order to fully experience reality this way right now, I have to fully not-see all possibilities which have happened. 

    Meaning that I experience reality one frame at a time, meaning that the entire universe is here right now. That it's possible for everything here to be everything that is in this POV, because when death occurs, the replay happens as another one of the infinite perspectives. 

    Tell me, is it possible that the entire universe is right here, right now? In the way I just explained? Well, yes, because I am you, yet I chose to fork myself right now, but eventually, I will be you, and in this way, I am you, and me, simultaneously, right now.

    Eyes tearing up right now. Like what??!

    I am you right now because time is an illusion! LOVE!!! LOVE!!!


    It seems to me like one sees the ramifications of infinite consciousness while only retaining a limited perspective, by choice. It seems like the only way that one can be limited to one's perspective, and still say "reality is absolute infinity occurring as every perspective simultaneously" is by realizing the mechanics of consciousness and then intuiting that it's true, without actually going beyond the limited perspective itself unless it happens somehow. Is this the case for you?

  7. I say that this is serious because there has been no other question that I have ever had on this journey so far that I feel so open to having an answer for, hence the question.

    Could it be that all of reality is consciousness itself?

    I'm aware of the cliché of this question, but what makes it serious is that at this point, my mind is open enough for the answer.


    My own contemplations:

    • If it's true that reality is consciousness itself, that would mean that any thoughts that I have had about what reality is made out of is completely backwards. Specifically the thoughts that reality is made out of atoms, or whatever possible thought that attempts to invalidate this question.
    • We might think that reality is made out of atoms, or waves, or energy, to form all these holons, etc. When this question hit me, I was in the middle of a walk thinking about how reality must be made out of the same energy, taking different forms and different vibrational frequencies. Are you with me? Because here comes the question which jerks my tears: Could it be that all of reality is consciousness itself?
      • You know the consciousness we all experience? The awareness of things? What if reality is made out of  Consciousness, and Nothing else!? It's completely backwards relative to any other explanation, such as atoms, energy, etc.
    • The consciousness "Of" reality, being the substance of reality. Holy...
    • But where is the separation between me and the consciousness "of" reality? "Of" entails that there is a seer;
      • Could it be that all of reality is consciousness, without a seer???!!!
    • WHAT?!
    • Okay, that one sinks in. But if it's true, then how is consciousness?
      • Now, thoughts are appearing of the complexity of how reality takes different forms.
    • How is consciousness... How is it not?
    • Could it be that consciousness "is", and "is not" at the same time?! As the substance without a seer??!
    • Consciousness could be "not" by always changing shape. But then, how is consciousness constant, relative to constantly changing shape?
    • How can consciousness not be? Is that even possible? Yeah, consciousness can change shape...
    • Is there a shape that consciousness cannot take? No... that's very unintelligent. There is no shape which consciousness cannot take. If consciousness can take shape, obviously even change chape, then it's very unintelligent for consciousness to not be able to take "certain shapes". It seems like what enables consciousness to take shape, also enables consciousness to take any shape. But then...
    • What enables consciousness to be & take shapes?
    • ...
    • Nothing?
    • Is it nothing?
    • Could it be that "Nothing" is what enables consciousness to be?
    • Well, the existence of absolutely nothing enables absolutely every shape to exist. How? Because the existence of absolutely nothing, means that it's substracted from all form. If consciousness, as the substance without a seer, strips away all forms, as there is no shape that consciousness cannot take, then, the stripping away of all form means that absolutely nothing remains.
    • Could it be that absolutely nothing, is absolutely everything?
    • It seems like the ability to take any shape, comes from the ability to let go of those very shapes. Because if one clings on to specific shapes, then reality is limited in its ability to take shapes. For shapes to be, shapes also has to not be. Can certain shapes be prioritized to be? -> No, by the same mechanics as reality can't be limited in its ability to take certain shapes; it cannot be limited in letting go of certain shapes either.
    • If we let go of all shapes, we get nothing. If we let all shapes exist, we get everything.
    • But for everything to exist, everything has to also be let go of, because why would reality ever cling on to specific things?
    • Could it be that existence is nothing, and everything, at the same time??  Yes.... :x. Because for something to be, it has to be not.
      • For specific things to take shape, it first has to lose it's shape. And for everything to take shape, it first has to have no shape at all. For shapes to even exist, they have to not be.
      • For consciousness to be, it has to "be not". It seems like "shapelessness" and "shapes" must exist simultaneously. As if the substance of shapes is nothing and everything.
      • And that's a great solution. That's a great solution.
    • For when nothingness and consciousness intertwine, it allows reality to be. Anything. It also has to be everything, for it to even exist, as nothing and everything simultaneously. Everything = infinite.
    • Could it be that all of reality is consciousness itself?

      Haha... Yes it can. Because it's nothing - everything - infinite.


    Guys, God is inside.

  8. I want to add that I went to a place called "Walkfeeling" here in Sweden, where they basically train ordinary people and athletes to walk and run with a proper posture. They told me that what posture does is that it increased our ability to breathe more deeply, with more air in the lungs, and also to have the muscles stay as relaxed as possible. When we have a poor posture, there are minor muscles that strain in order to compensate for the core muscles not being that strong, or the wrong muscles having its movements been chronically habituated. Proper posture will only strain the major muscles, while the hips, neck, and shoulders stay relaxed.

    Imagine having a perfect posture, as if you were a Winning Phoenix, walking tall through life with confidence, deep breaths, and relaxation. That's Walkfeeling for you.

  9. @OBEler Thank you, amazing man. I have this playful attitude with 5-MeO, I have this vape that works wonders, and this powder that can easily be inserted into the vape, so, I can experiment with the substance to really build a relationship with it. I think that an easily accessible relationship with 5-MeO is what will spawn amazing trips through something like the 80/20 rule. Take it slow, but take it!

    It's quite an experience to just take a super minor hit, and feel how it feels. To be in control in that sense, and through control, surrender control, by taking some more :D 

    @Leo Gura Haha! Yeah. Thanks. Some day ill be sitting in that bathtub with 25mg's up my ass. Or casually vaping breakthrough doses while sitting on the bus or something.

    @Gianna Okay, so yeah. Essentially, things like knives in the house is food for thought. So, what will probably happen is that fear will spawn morbid thoughts, and if there are knives in the house, one might think of using those knives to die. The fear spawns these thoughts (risk of death). Once when I plugged 5-MeO, I had a sweater which when I was high on the 5-MeO, this sweater started feeling "hot", and the fear I experienced hooked onto this experience of "hot" projecting the cause of fear of death onto the sweater, as if "the sweater was killing me". But this was just a projection.

    The thing with fear is that fear resides in emotion and thought, but we have the choice to act on that fear or not. If we act on fear, that will complete the fear cycle, creating more fear, creating more fearful thoughts. If we act upon fear, we can trigger panic. Now panic is quite an uncomfortable experience, also dangerous as that might result in an accident.

    Fear uses doubt. This is why prior experience can help a lot, because that disarms doubt. I have no doubt that vaping 5-MeO lasts for only 15 minutes, and I can use this certainty to disarm my own fear. Something like: I have a trip sitter here, and I have no doubt that my body won't receive any harm due to this experience.

    But if I start doubting the psychedelic, or the actual safety of my experience, fear can escalate a lot easier in thought and emotion. But the last thing you want to do is to act upon that fear. Rather, we want to surrender to the experience.

    Surrendering is done by not acting into that fear, rather, be the watcher of every single feeling or thought stemming from the fear, sort of be the seer, lovingly allowing any thought or feeling to arise. This is the key to dealing with fear, watch it, and don't act.

    But hey, what if I see a bear in the woods? Well, then you are certain of danger, and that certainty makes you act.

    But why can't that certainty make me act in the case of 5-MeO? Because with 5-MeO, you are certain that it's all right to observe the fear. That there is nothing to be afraid of. Set and setting are important to facilitate this mindset that "there is nothing to be afraid of if I just sit here on the couch"...

    Until you sit long enough to realize that fear is rooted in duality, and that the actual bliss of unity makes fear melt away - Another way to disarm fear is just to connect with the simplicity of reality, where duality collapses, simplicity (unity) arises, and so there is like nothing to be afraid of, because there is nothing but one thing. In this way, love always wins.

    Like: "There is not even anything to be afraid of, like, why am I even feeling afraid? Like all stuff has melted away dude, why are you even afraid?? There's nothing here!" And so, bliss.

  10. monika-grabkowska-TD-EHe4icMI-unsplash.jpg

    Happy Easter! ?


    I vaped 3 hits of 5-MeO Oxalate just after having smoked enough hits of weed to feel high. This report was copy-pasted from my journal. I will answer further questions about the experience if you have any. Namasté

    This was before yesterday, when I had the urge to just get high, and after this 5-Meo experience, came an urge to have freedom in how I eat, and what I do. I ended up talking to my family, Iris, Serena about things, while eating a lot of food. I also took a walk outside, eating banana chips and drinking juice.


    So, I brought out the 5-MeO, as I saw it to be appropriate to mix with the weed that I was just smoking. And so I took some, and experienced the fear, yet, I also experienced this serene safety of being at my home, where nothing could go wrong. I remember that the weed high, even though it was 2 weeks ago that I last got high, was very clear.

    One thought that was most triggering as I vaped the initial 2 hits of 5-MeO was that "this was gonna last for a long time, as I was also high on weed, and maybe the synergistic effects of these two will make it all last longer". I surrendered this thought.

    After two hits (experiencing fear), I had the urge to take a last one (excited, turning my excitement into positive action), all of the hits were minor, yet I knew that this last hit was gonna turn the experience into something profound. Here is what followed:

    Fear was present, Body and mind started slipping away. Thoughts became obvious, now obvious creations out of nothingness. Coming from nothing. This nothing could spawn any thought into existence, hence it created reality. This nothing was also beyond the senses, as the senses were soaked in the nothingness. I could also say that the feeling-experience of this nothingness was Huge, it was Huge. So large.

    At this point, I was kind of murmuring to myself how Leo would say it, that "it's infinite, its infinite, etc", because my thoughts describing the experience was aware of the size of this void, and the thoughts couldn't grasp the void with any size measurement that the thoughts themselves could express. So, the thoughts kept happening, observed to be creating the perspective in which I ground reality.

    Time seemed to slow down, yet I was still grounded in time, as the illusion of time was still solid, still something to return to, every heartbeat, every second. Yet it was frightening to be in touch with this the enormous creative power of the void, as I could create the death of my body right then and there if I so wanted to > by jumping out the window.

    But I didn't. I chose to murmur the words to myself: Love, infinity, bliss, ecstasy, joy, God, Creation. And these words set the tone of what was being created in the experience.

    How did I know that the void was endless? Because it was clear that everything in my experience was its creation, coming from this "space". It's difficult to explain this space, as explanation is a part of the space which creates thought. We can say "Whatever I explain the space to be, is the space itself, taking certain shapes". Yet by the experience getting contorted to have everything in the experience point to the space being there: the intuition, the thoughts, the colors, the senses, as they all were formed, but most importantly how they are were seen indicated there was a "seer". And this "seer" is present as "a void", in which all thoughts spawn. Where it becomes obvious (as an insight, expressed even through thought at that moment), that this void can create anything it wants. And so it's understood that this void is beyond all things that is "seen", that the "seer" is thus unlimited. It takes on certain shapes as it wants to, it's the creator and what is being created - Because it takes on shapes which itself is made out of, as the substance of the shapes is the void, just because the void is creating everything. And so the creator is the created. And so we can say that we are under constant creation, by an infinite void which we are. Oh, what a bliss. Oh, what a bliss.

    The very last thing that was glimpsed before the ego came back to its grips was how loving it is. How loving creation is. How allowing it is. How beautiful. Most of all, how allowing it is. It allows anything, in love with anything, everything. It allows itself to be created, in any shape or form.

    There were no "rolling on the floor in love and bliss", but just a kind of "mild awe" of this realization.

    The feeling of ego coming back to reality is that time came back, thoughts became structured as usual, and the fear just vanished.

    When I opened my eyes, the OEV had reality be white, as if it was 50% "faded to white".

    I think that if I would have taken a fourth hit, that the void would've became more total, saturating my sense of self, expanding the sense of self to be one with the void. This triggers bliss, melts away all fear (fear is untenable in unity), and re-contextualizes the senses and any thoughts to be of the creation of me as void.

  11. On 2021-03-11 at 1:11 AM, Leo Gura said:

    The best way to do cannabis is whenever you get the urge to do it, do 5-MeO-DMT instead.


    I have combined both. I realized that I can try to vape the 5-MeO Oxelate that I have thought is only used for plugging, and when I tried to vape it, it gave the same effects. Since then, I've taken out the vape when I felt like I could use it. 

    Up until now, I wouldn't say that I have had "full-blown Ego-death". More like all things getting reduced into one. More like, realizing that imagination is the basis of all of existence. I will post a trip report about that.

    Leo, you should say "Whenever you get the urge to do weed, do it, but add some 5-MeO to the mix!

    The brain fog from Cannabis actually gets neutralized by the clarity of 5-MeO. It's like 5-MeO is pure clarity, such that all the illusions melt away. But the effects of cannabis are kind of "foggy", where we tend to for example forget our thoughts.

    When you are really high on cannabis, then go try some 5-MeO. It clears everything up and gives the high a tinge of ecstasy. Also, it seems to me that the Cannabis makes the 5-MeO last longer (in combination) and the visuals get affected to become more beautiful.

    The cannabis visuals are kind of subtle, as when one is looking at a white wall, it gives the effects of as if we were looking at one point on that wall being sober - kind of "applying" certain patterns onto the canvas, but in a subtle way, as if it were a template without content, structure without content.

    Combining 5-MeO (vaping) with Cannabis sort of fills that visual structure with more content. At one point, I was seeing eyes! As if certain strategic points of my visual field became eye-like. 

    The thing that is the anti-dote to fear when it comes to 5-MeO, is that 5-MeO approaches nonduality, which makes reality simple. And simplicity is the essence of bliss. How can one be afraid when there is like nothing to be afraid of? And at that point, bliss occurs. Or at that point, I should've taken another hit from the vape ;), to fully merge with the nothingness so to speak.

    The worst thing that can happen with fear is if the thoughts, emotions, and actions are under the control of fear. So, the worst thing that can happen is if we act on that fear, which reinforces the emotional state and the thoughts. Acting on fear is basically to panic, and to let the panic snowball. Fear is emotional and triggers certain thoughts. The key to fear is to be the observer of those thoughts and feelings, without ever acting out. This is what we call "surrendering", just observing, just observing. One can do this several times to get the hang of it. That's what I'm doing with the 5-MeO right now. In preparation for a big ceremonial breakthrough down the road...


  12. @Nahm I felt lucky, so I stayed up. Wow, epic response. Thank you!

    1 hour ago, Nahm said:

    To your question....It might be that you find me to be less conditional and less judgmental, and feel safe to express to, because you see I express pretty freely. Not much polarity in terms of masculine or feminine, etc.  (I think ??‍♂️).     This (talking with me) could also be said to be easier, expression wise, than talking with your mom & sister, in the sense that we have no past, no history. There isn’t ‘someone’ I think you are or expect you to be. I’m going by only the now, your words, sentiment, expression, behavior, now and only now. You know I don’t know you, and thus you are free to be any which way, and when you be any which way, clearly, seen here, your true nature shines like a beacon. There is tons of space for you to either not project memories about me or onto me, or to fill that space with good feeling thoughts about me. 

    So true the thing about not having any reference experience with you compared to my sister so that I am free to choose to create lovely images. These images change based on what I choose to see, sometimes based on what I feel. Im feeling stuck in a pattern of feeling-reacting-protecting. Feeling so invulnerable, like a statue... I think you know what I mean. I think of you like a glowing man :x Brown hair! :D And this thought makes me feel comfortable and cozy. So it feels so important to let others express their own cozyness through receiving such love from my body and presence in return. You know, like you do through your words. Affirming, very affirming.

    1 hour ago, Nahm said:

    I do not believe pain is required to be felt, nor to be respected and loved. I find it to be an occurrence, a part of life, and I eat it when it comes and smile. You might be talking about suffering though, ‘inner pain’, emotional pain perhaps? 

    If so, this approach is in a way like cherishing the ego, or trying to embrace it or love it and make it our buddy. It will bend us over every gd time. That’s it’s whole gig, the only song it knows. I think presence, ‘being in the now’ might be what you’re looking for.


    Yes, I am more specifically talking about hidden emotions, I really think so. Oh man, just as recently as today have I actually noticed these patterns occurring in my mind. Yesterday, I swear to God, was such a good day!! I met these beautiful people when being outside, but today I didn't feel the same way, and so these familiar thoughts came along with familiar emotions, to create a deja-vu experience telling me something like "you have not grown a bit". But this time, I managed to let it dissolve, kind of as I snapped out of it saying with presence: "hey man, I don't believe this anymore. I love you". :x 

    The thing about "applying human" took me by surprise, and kind of had the thing about "cherishing the ego" making sense. Hey, I just said it actually! :D I snapped out of it with presence! - well, first of all with a contradictory but loving voice... but I think you meant that the ego party is created when we kind of bathe in that voice, and those emotions. Because love in that case means presence, meaning dissolution of old inappropriateness (so to speak). The thought of using love based (thus probably contradictory) voices to trancend these emotions into more loving presence feels winning to me.

    1 hour ago, Nahm said:

    Maybe, today, tomorrow, when you see your sister & mum, kinda pretend you literally don’t know them, never saw them before. Don’t even apply ‘human’. Like, you don’t even know what this is, let alone who they are. Might see em for the first time. Be mindful as well, your attention, that attention, that regular basic attention, that’s God’s attention. 

    That's kind of a rare occasion for me, to have people become super-mysterious. Yet I can see how that would actually work!! I'm projecting a lot of things on my Sister and my mother relative to seeing them as mysterious. 

    I want to trust God's attention! My trust has 'nowhere' to go! :D 

    It's a leap. I thought that I need to battle this problem on the realm of emotions, kind of using emotions against emotions, not having a rule of thumb- kind of a grasp on what anchors the emotions. And so I'm pointing to presence, because if I can look at my emotions, as I believe they will arise, seeing them as a choice! You know like I did today with awareness, and tied into that, noticing my projections, through acknowledging that I'm also projecting "human"?

    Previously I have tried to "find the joy", seems hard to do directly when in a state of fear. Yet seems more possible when the stepping stone to this joy is presence & seizing projection. Sounds good so far.

    Okay, sleepy time :D:D Sweet dreams my friend. 


    With certain people, it feels like I have known them for a long time, because I can be myself with these people, and they accept all of me! It makes me fall in love with them!! Oh, I am in the process of learning how to express my innermost joy to my sister and my mother and I am thankful to God for being in this process because it lets me learn how to love other people fully. Thank you god. Thank you god. I am dreaming of fully expressing my joy to other people, and I know that learning how to do this with my family is very valuable in this adventure. I am not sure if I will be able to fully express myself to my family, yet I believe that I will come "very far (like, what is possible?)" in 'mastering'/'harnessing'/'creating' expression of joy, emotions, presence, creativity, love, god. 

    I feel insecure in my wording here (can of worms), but to put it simply: The world will witness expressions of love, coming from this body, which will radically inspire the hearts of many, to do the same for themselves. Because I am here celebrate God with as many people as possible! Haha! I don't know how, yet I feel grateful in advance (inspired by Conversations with God)  for the beauty that will follow. Oh boy, it will be Grand. 

    Okay, waaay off topic xD Ill let myself message you tomorrow about booking a call. I will book a call with you.




  13. @Eren EeagerSocialization requires other people, you, and a suitable environment.

    Hey mister! Aside from all recommendations you have read prior to this comment, please try to visualize yourself socializing. According to the book: Psycho Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz, I think you have an "issue" with your self-image, in the book, Maxwell draws a clear line between studdering and self-image and self-belief. And all of those potential "issues" are cured by improving self-image. Which can be done through combining winning-feelings with imagination.

    Your mind interprets reality with imagination, with thoughts, and so, all stuff is in your mind so to speak. Your self-image is there, so you can come up with thoughts which your mind "can interpret as reality" which will actually improve your self-image, because they "are real", "have happened". They will spark emotion. 

    Visualize! Visualize yourself taking fluently with great friends at a bar, and in this environment, practice. Find the Winning-Feeling, as you are talking fluently to your friends in your head. That winning feeling is like a snowball, keep it rolling!! This will also motivate you to then go out and try this in real-time, and then go home again and visualize some more!

    Visualization to improve self-image is quite effective for social anxiety and such things. Effective for me for pickup. 

  14. Little off-topic here, sorry :D 

    @Nahm Hey, I visit your links and stuff. YOU'RE ALIVE!

    I went to the bathroom thinking that I might request a call with you, but then when I thought of any problem that I might present to you for us to solve, I knew that I actually have the ability to solve these issues myself. Haha, issues.

    The only issue is, why don't I ask myself?

    Resonating with you a lot right now. In the future, we will work together. Ill find you. Because I want angels like you to speak in resonance with music! In ways that I know angels will like.

    Thank you god for such inspiring messages sparking resonance like 2 clicks away.

    Based on how happy I feel right now, I feel really enjoying talking with beautiful people. I like you, man behind the words.

    I love you. Ahh, I kind of missed you.

    Okay, I came up with a question. How do I find this joy and light in relationships which I feel to be limiting and uncomfortable sometimes? For example, I struggle to look my sister in the eyes, I struggle to look my mother in the eyes, as I feel afraid and uncomfortable doing so. Which ties into lack of expression of pure delight to these people! As if I'm gonna receive pain for being too happy. I want to be joyous around all of these people! Just like how I feel when I'm writing to you.

    An answer I have come up to this question is to sit and journal with my inner child of why he feels uncomfortable to express himself with certain people & situations. But that feels hard... Yet isn't pain required to be felt? To be respected and loved? But bringing it to light feels uncomfortable, something which I didn't do before.

    I think the answer is a commitment, a promise to love! A reconnection with inner strength that supplies courage to the part of me suppressed. To come forth, gently, honestly, lovingly. 

    Lol. I'm answering my own questions. I like conversations. It's like journaling, together.

    Now I feel some of those emotions again... Tired too. I will go to sleep hugging myself. Goodnight! :x


    Thank you Nahm.




  15. @Nahm I just read your post. Uhh, that was amazing? You are poetry! Words as specific as heart resonance. 

    I noticed that Resonance requires a certain amount of light to strike a spark, from both sides! Maybe for someone else, they might not see all of what you write, but I did! :o And it was cool! Thanks Nahm! :D 

    What resonated with me the most was "being yourself".

    Yes! That's so fulfilling. Hey, @Hugo Oliveira, it's quite fun to go outside, with the 'want' to socialize, with heart for all the beautiful beings out there, with desire to express attraction to all the pretty ones, and with courage to make them smile as you approach.

    It's easy once you get the hang of it. If it's hard, then I think you are trying to animate yourself as someone else.

    Find yourself. Your inner expression expressed, and go with that! I mean, I had such a beautiful interaction with a conscious lady yesterday. It was beautiful! She saw my light enter her presence as I followed the 3 second rule and approached her, right, and she blushed! It was beautiful! You know, and then we talked for an hour, then she took her train. I got some beautiful insights from that, how fulfilling it was just to look in her eyes.

    Those things are found outside of your home, at least. Beautiful people so to speak.

    You aren't chasing, you are WANTING! And you are expressing your inner fucking power to STAND UP FOR YOURSELF. TO RESPECT YOUR INNER WANTS. And she will like that. Like a wizard, you can make any girl smile, if you just believe that she will smile, because you know she likes how you are embodying power in your presence, creatively expressing it to her, feeling her.


    Its fun, go try it. Practice. 

  16. My ex used to go to alot of these festivals. That was her lifestyle in her 20's, traveling the world, tripping hundreds of times on LSD while attending festivals.

    Here is a research paper I read about Dark Psytrance: https://www.researchgate.net/publication/282185848_Pushing_the_Boundaries_Investigating_the_Musical_and_Social_Aesthetics_of_Dark_Psytrance

    This article describes in similar words the way my ex described her experiences.

    Darkpsy was her favorite. She told me that dancing to it felt like a constant orgasm, especially on LSD, where the bass is the thing that causes the physical pleasure. Then, I can imagine, the collective thoughts, while all others are tripping.

    She described a peak experience she had on a darkpsy festival that caused her to roll in the sand, crying in bliss.

    Another experience where she took 600ug of LSD without tolerance, just to dance in the front row on a certain festival, where she described the experience as being "SOOOOO DEEP". Hehe, I kind of tried to pick her mind on these stuff, but still to this day, when I am high, I get urges just to listen to some psytrance so that I can uncover the "blissful mystery she described".

    But sure, if festivals feel like home for you, if you just have successfully opened a yoga studio, if you have not gone to a festival for 6 months, seeing all your friends there and stuff, dancing with them under the sun, high on LSD, maybe you would roll in the screaming with tears of bliss. I don't know dude. And not knowing this is kind of frustrates me. Makes me feel lower than my ex. lol.

    She told me that she once danced for 24 hours straight on "just one drop of acid". Here is one of her favorite festivals: 

    Some of those people look quite high quality if you ask me. I would definitely cold approach all of the girls on that festival, I promise B|... but watching the vid, I want to teleport away from this winter, right around that bonfire where the girls sit ;)

    Personally, as I sometimes feel jealous and inspired, remembering my ex's stories of her experiences, as I yearn to have a memory of just epic bliss for some reason, I experimented with the darkpsy and psytrance. I have not tripped on a festival though, but I have went to a 3-day festival with 100+ people, and that was quite cool, but no peak experience, just felt as good as a workout with friends. So far for me, I judge the darkpsy lifestyle based on what I perceive from my ex, that it seems destructive. I mean, she danced for 24h straight!?! To Darkpsy?! If you ask me, I'm a classical pianist, I think darkpsy has a lot of room to improve in terms of harmonics. I like to think that the darkpsy is bad for the inner child. But I have not experienced it and have some negative emotions towards my ex so please take this with a grain of salt.

    I mean, the main issue is that the festival lifestyle doesn't really teach you the Leo things, so, my Ex had some emotional issues.

    But I am sure that an actualized person would really enjoy a festival with epic darkpsy and stuff, if only it doesn't hinder the self-actualization. 


    To answer your point: For me, festivals seem to be only positive, as a way to invest "travel time" and if it doesn't ruin your self-actualization work. There are peak experiences to be had, comparable to how "there are peak experiences to be had in terms of taking mushrooms". Treat festivals like a giant trip, but don't get lost in the tripping. I think so many get lost in the tripping, so many turn to festivals to fill their holes and find their homes. But if you are self-actualizing, festivals would probably be quite a fun vacation, ideally used as a way to fuel your main lifestyle and purpose. The main thing about festivals is the collective consciousness. 

  17. @Blackhawk Predictable. Nobody with enough intelligence would ever deny immortality! Muhaha! One just gotta master life. 

    @DrewNows Now that, is intelligent. Hey mister, what about perfect health? You will need that. One major contributor to aging is toxins and junk accumulating in the body.

    If enough junk is accumulated in the body, then yes, as Blackhawk says, one might not want to live anymore.


  18. @Gesundheit Can be killed.


    Look guys, I think gratitude is the answer here. If I can say: "I thank god from the bottom of my heart, for a long fulfilling life my body might live, so that I can experience the spreading of my love through humanity", then I think that this is enough. I may accept that I can die tomorrow, but in gratitude, every cell in my body lived on to spread love for a long time.

    This is what I mean by the body "adapting" to living forever, and I am sure that gratitude is a very powerful force for the body to achieve this.