Courtney

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About Courtney

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  • Birthday 06/07/1985

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  • Location
    canada
  • Gender
    Female

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  1. @@Leo Gura thanks for the info! I’ll see what I can get my hands on!
  2. @Nahm thank you so much! What an adventure this has become! I never could have imagined the possibility of being able to experience God and the fact that I may be able to do that in this human form is just mind blowing in such an incredible way. I KNEW there was a Truth out there and that there was something fishy about this reality.. What an incredible moment this is! Let's continue this journey!
  3. @leintdav000 I also had a very rocky childhood, a true narcissistic mother, emotional neglect, sexual abuse, etc. (Like you said, it's not about the details) and I have struggled through this life for the majority of it as well with feelings of inadequacy and have never been able to love myself. Until recently. I've been self inquiring for 3ish years now, and have really stuck with it (especially over the last few months) and spend hours a day inquiring. I'm starting to break free of whatever the hell I was stuck in. I contribute this mainly to practicing "letting go" (on a daily basis) to the negative thoughts and self talk that seems to follow me around. My advice: Fuck the past, it wasn't real anyway. And treat it as though it's a gift to yourself that brought you to this place right now where you are on the path to discovering the Truth! I tell myself if I didn't go through these last 30 years of "shittiness" I would not have ended up where I am now, which is a journey to find out that I (and you) are God and created this entire universe along with an infinite amount of universes. See, you win. And so do I. I love you unconditionally, and I am only able to say that because I love myself unconditionally. Give away what you need the most and you'll have it. Keep focusing on finding the Truth and you'll be set free. (If you want a head start I suggest trying 5MeO DMT at some point... I'm trying to order some at this moment)
  4. I think I found my answer... Seems like I'll need the HCL version since freebase is for smoking Sorry for the nonsense post!
  5. I've been trying to find a good source to order DMT from and found a site in Canada (which is where I live) that i could order from, however, it says it's in "freebase" form. I want to administer the substance rectally like Leo suggests, so just wondering if this is the form I should be ordering? Any help would be appreciated!
  6. I am almost ready to try 5 Meo DMT and am terrified and excited. Am I better to do it alone or with a friend for the first time? Should you have a "sitter" your first time?
  7. This video has me shook. If this is true, am I imagining this forum and whatever response I get will be imagined by me as well? Am I just communicating with myself anytime I communicate with another "person"? Are other humans experiencing this imaginary world just as I am, or are there no other humans at all and I am just imagining it all? Should I even try and explain what reality is to other people in my life or is there really no point since they're all imaginary? This is the most radical explanation to what reality is and it somehow makes so much sense. Are we all stuck in this imaginary reality, or is it really just me imagining my entire life? Am I imagining other people and they are also imagining me? Sorry, the questions are just pouring out of me, so if some seem repetitive or contradictory, please excuse me.
  8. @Feel Good thanks so much for your advice! I will absolutely look into spritial bypassing! I am going to work on these issues, but also not give them a label or anything like that anymore, because as we know, labels aren’t our friend. I appreciate your feedback!
  9. @tashawoodfall thank you for your response! That’s an interesting way of looking at different personalities! And it’s so interesting to think that we are not our personalities or our thoughts or feelings... we’ve been taught this from the day we were born and now we have to peel all those labels off and try to see things with an unbiased eye again. What a puzzle!
  10. @Nahm Your responses have given me a feeling of peace and comfort. I cannot explain why but it’s as though you’re saying the things I truly need to hear in order to know I’m on the right path at this moment. Thank you very much, I hope you don’t mind if I ask you questions in the future! I do remember that kid. I do.
  11. @Nahm you’re right... I have noticed this awareness that has always been with me through everything, just observing and being ok with everything that happens and there’s a comfort sometimes that I feel that I cannot explain but is always there. The thoughts only have power if I take them seriously I guess.... and maybe I get caught up in the feelings and think it must be real if I am feeling deep sadness or anger. When you put it that way, it seems silly to give those thoughts any power at all. They’re nothing, really. My ego maybe... but you’re right they don’t mean a thing. Is there anything you do or say to help bring you back to that awareness in moments of distress? Maybe I just have to keep reminding myself that awareness is my true nature, not these thoughts that are so negative at times. I am so grateful for your advice.
  12. @Nahm Thank you for asking that question...it’s actually leaving me a bit speechless... There is no “I” that I can describe...i know I’m not my mind/brain.... so I guess it’s not really “me” that has this issue, it’s this brain that is in this body which I am experiencing reality from... so I should accept these negative thoughts without judgement? Let them pass and maybe try and rewire this brain and it’s patterns? I appreciate your guidance, thank you for responding!
  13. I have a personality disorder (borderline personality disorder), and am just wondering is this disorder hindering my search for the Truth and towards enlightenment? Can I beat this disorder by being in the present moment? Is this disorder made up? I’m just curious as to what others think about personality disorders and if they need to be taken care of first and foremost or can I bypass the disorder by understanding it in a different way or by being present? Thoughts?
  14. New Brunswick, Canada