iTommy

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About iTommy

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    Germany
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  1. @Shin I will definetly give it a go!
  2. @Prabhaker Thanks for your posts, good read
  3. I´ll try that! Thanks.
  4. Hello guys. I´ve been feeling depressed and anxious for most of my life. I´ve been working hard, trying to see the positive in things, trying to change my thoughts in a way so that I am not in "victim-mode", and also look at thoughts as just clouds passing by. Yet, it just seems like an endless cycle of misery. It´s like, whatever I do, nothing makes me happy. I lead what others and I would call a “comfortable life”. I have no job, mainly because of the mental rut. Yet I practice meditation, have enough money to survive, practice guitar every day and so on. I am trying to be grateful for the things I have, the things I experience, yet it all seems fake to me. The only time when I honestly appreciate life a tiny bit, is when I am under the influence of psychedelics. Also, I am almost never excited for anything, things that a "normal" person would be looking forward to, I normally dread. I really envy people, who find joy in being alive. I am 21 years young and feel unable to function in society. I am tired of life, tired of feeling depressed and anxious. “Life” right now is like looking through a clouded window, watching the world pass by. I get it that everything is temporary, yet I don´t seem to see the light at the end of the tunnel for miles. Anyone else who feels that way?
  5. Hey guys! So i´ve gotten hold of "5-MeO-DMT". But now I am not so sure if it was. It would be great if someone could help me out here. I got really excited once I had it in my hands, I mean... INFINITY! My expectations were high. I did a pretty heavy dose the second time I tried it. I had HCL salt, so I sniffed it. It didn´t burn as much as I thought it would. Shortly after, I felt somewhat spaced out, a little dizzy and a bit ill. The ill part went away a few minutes later, but that was pretty much it. I´ve done it 3+ times after that. There was no Aha-moment or anything close to it. So, it didn´t do it for me. I am now not sure if it was 5-MeO, even though everything hintet towards 5-MeO. I am taking SSRRI medication, so I am not sure if this plays a role in it(LSD/N,N-DMT worked fine). Can someone here with experience enlighten me? - Tommy
  6. @John Flores I´m not religious, and believing in god/creator, angels and demons is somewhat hard for me to do, but I like your approach to this topic. Steve Huff (Huff Paranormal), tends to ask the spirits if there is a god, and mostly the answer is no. Yet some "spirits" say that demons and angels exist, other times they deny it. Some even mistake him for being a demon, that wants to harm them. They sometimes ask for help, maybe to "cross over"? So as you stated, personality definitely exists in some form. People have apparently captured their "body" using the motion sensor from xbox. Hell I would love to step up my game using a more expensive version of a ghost box, without radio chatter, but that ain´t happening soon. I think this is pretty exciting, since those spirit boxes tend to get better and better, so maybe one day, we can really explore the afterlife. I mean it is possible to do so now, but depending on what you use it´s sometimes hard to make out words. Makes me want to go to friends graves when they´ve passed, and start a chat.
  7. @Arman I didn´t have many issues with it, but the next day was tough. I could barely walk because of the vasoconstriction. The seller also specified the ug - dosage number. One blotter = 1350. I would consider it to be valid, since NBOMes tend to start pretty high, often at 1000ug. It might be possible to get blotters with LSD at 1000ug, but the chances of finding real LSD with that high of a number would be pretty slim, since most people buy 100-200ug blotters.
  8. Hello dear actualized community. Since some of you are into psychedelics… I would like to share a short summary of a trip I experienced. I should have written this report shortly after my trip, yet I didn´t. So I can´t explain things in much detail, but I will put down what I vividly remember. I´ve done a few psychedelics, such as Mushrooms, LSD, NBOMe, N,N-DMT & 5-MeO-DMT. This time, I´m going to share a bit of a heavy NBOMe trip. I have to say it was never my intention to try NBOMe. It was sold as LSD, and I didn´t test it beforehand. People have died from this substance, so I won´t “recommend” it. But I had an insane trip. On LSD, the standard dose is around 150-200ug, on this dose your senses would be more enhanced and you would experience touch, hearing, colors and lights more intense, see patterns and so on. I was not experienced with LSD and NBOMe, so I had zero tolerance to it. So, me being me, I decided to take 1350ug. I wanted not just to test the waters with my toes, but to completely swim. I realized that it couldn´t be LSD because nothing happened in the first two hours of taking it. After hour 5 had passed, I thought that whatever I took wasn´t working and I was pretty disappointed. So I decided that I´d take one more tab with 1350ug(2700ug in total). Still, nothing really happened, but oh man, shortly after hour 6, let it be in a period of ten minutes, everything changed. My senses were insanely sharpened. I could see much better, it was as if I could see every tiny detail on my body, my hand had never looked so alive. My hand seemed to be “breathing”. I watched a few videos on YouTube displaying nature, and I was overwhelmed by the beauty. Everything felt so alive. Also listening to Alan Watts was an incredible experience. I literally shed a few tears because of this. I sat down on the floor, next to blue light. The dust on it looked like a galaxy, with tons of asteroids. My face in the mirror was a bit scary, because my pupils suddenly widened. Eating and drinking was also on a whole new level. I could accurately trace every last drop I drank going down into my stomach. The taste was more intense, but not in a negative way. Listening to music was insanely dope, it was as if I could pinpoint every single note. Songs which I’ve played a dozen times sounded much more whole, it was like hearing it for the first time, but 50x better. Even playing only three chords on the guitar, sounded so amazing to me. When it hit hour 7, something more spectacular happened to me. I was overall so much more aware. I didn´t feel real anymore, it felt like I was character in a game. I completely lost my sense of “self”. Also called Ego-Death. I felt much more connected to the world around me, and I could closely watch my thought stream. I was in a state of awe, and I recognized that all my anxiety, fears and worries are just bullsh*t. Everything was alright. I was much more “in the moment”. I spent a whole lot of the trip just looking at things as if it was the first time, and listening to spiritual lectures. To me, I kinda felt like a little kid again, experiencing things for the first time. I´ll end my trip report here. Anyway, psychedelics can be pretty awesome. Firstly don´t be me. I wouldn´t recommend taking as much as I did, and NBOMe in general. Be careful if you choose to do psychedelics, test your stuff, low dosage at first, be in a good mood, have a trip sitter if needed, be in a comfortable environment, and prepare yourself before the trip. Depending on what you have and how much you take, they tend to reveal a whole bunch of what is going on inside you, and will most likely give you a new perspective on life.
  9. @Dragallur You might be right, I will keep the options open. Even if it was ghosts, I have no idea how to factually prove that. Nevertheless, I find it pretty fascinating. The thought of "living" after death is somewhat comforming and at the same time scary to me. But I guess the only way to find out, is when the body dies. "Death is an illusion"
  10. @Dragallur Yes, I read it. I´ve thought about this before, trying to debunk that whole thing. It would take me quite some time to go through previous footage again, editing and uploading it. But i´ve got a private snippet on youtube, of the clip where I heard my name. I am talking in german in this footage. The g-box is switching between english speaking channels, so no german should normally get through. Yet, you should hear my name reasonable well. I´ve got more footage, but again, I haven´t edited it yet. There are other g-boxes out there, where you don´t get radio noise at all. You can hear the words much better. Sadly, it isn´t something that I can afford. It´s been awhile since I last had a session. I`m thinking about picking it up again.
  11. Hey guys! I was always interested in the paranormal, because I had strange experiences when I was a kid. I´ve been looking into the topic of spirits, and found a few ghostbox videos on youtube. A ghost box is basically/usually a device which changes radio channels quickly, and the idea behind this is, that the spirits can manipulate the audio, and that you thereby receive answers. I was sceptical at first, but since I am a pretty open person, I decided that I would try it out for myself. I went online to buy a ghost box app, pressed record on my camera and started my first session by asking a few questions like... "Is anyone there who would like to talk?", "Can you tell me your name", "How many are in this room with me right now". Nothing happened, everything I heard was only radio chatter, and I was a bit bummed out. I went through the recording on my PC, and I also didn´t find what I was hoping for. The next day, I gave it another go. This time I announced that I would be having a ghostbox session five minutes before doing so. I sat down, turned everything on and started the session. I asked "Can you say my name, Tommy?" and to my astonishment, I clearly heard my name, spoken slowly like so "Tom..myy", in a female voice. I went on asking more questions and I got a name, Kevin who sounded like a child. Once I ended the session, I reviewed the footage, and it confirmed what I heard. Now, I had a few sessions after that with similar experiences. This opens a whole can of questions, like... Who or what was it that I got in contact with? - Are they really spirits? If ghost/spirits are real, what exactly are they? - Do they still have their previous human shape? - Is "life" similar as among the living? Does the illusion of ego, still has it´s grip? and so on... there are tons of spirit box vids on youtube, i´d recommend watching "Huff Paranormal" with his wonderbox/portal if you´re interested. Or just give it a go yourself. What do you guys think? Anyone who has had a similar experience? - Tommy