"Wisdom is knowing I am nothing, Love is knowing I am everything, and between the two my life moves." - Nisargadatta Maharaj

Shadow work
 
First, let me start with a little motivation.
Why should I care about emotional healing? What is there for me to get?
Well, how about unconditional happiness, and wellbeing, much clearer communication, emotional awareness in social situations, and many more things you can't even fathom?
Just to compare it with a self-liberated state - it is different from detachment in my understanding. Liberation will detach you from the duality of life. Through emotional healing, you can move from the bottom of the emotional spectrum, all the way from depression to bliss.

So yeah, buckle up, and enjoy.

The emotional spectrum
In essence, there is only one emotional scale, in the lower part there are emotions such as sadness, anxiety, pain, loneliness,... and on the upper half you get the "good shit" - joy, love, glowing, warmth...
So there is not really a need to identify every emotion such as "depression, sorrow, anxiety...". You can! but It is not a requirement. 
All you need to do, every time you are feeling an emotion, is to ask yourself: Is this emotion moving me in the direction of bliss, or depression?
That is all the "EQ" you need.
                                                                                                   
Claims I am making in this guide that need to be understood.
1. Majority of your subconscious mind = Your body and your nervous system, including cellular memory.
2. Every emotion that is released in one moment, can never come back to haunt your life again. At least in the same limiting and painful fashion.
Thoughts
How do thoughts fit into the shadow-work/healing paradigm? Well you can imagine thoughts being this endless stream of water in your head. RIVER, that's the word! =D.
And your emotions are either a factory that is pouring in toxic waste and polluting the beautiful crystal clear water, OR a light, that is giving the water healing powers. 
Now I don't know how about you, but I will always pick Light over Toxic waste. Of course if you don't then this topic might not be for you :-p.

Beliefs (especially negative/limiting/lack beliefs).
Belief = a repetitive thought that is a manifestation of an underlying emotional/energetical cause. 
Later on I will try to guide you how to take on, and release negative core beliefs.
Essential requirement for emotional healing
FBO!! - Full Body Awareness

Now what da heell u talkin about?????
Full body awareness is simply your attention  no longer residing only in your head on your thoughts, and outside of you, but also in your body. It is the essential mindfulness skill. You can develop this quite easily through meditation, doing body-scans whenever you remember (A great tip is to set a reminder on your phone for every hour of your day, and every time it rings, you just run a quick awareness scan of your body and your feelings).

NUMBER ONE PRIOTIY.
For healing to be effective IT HAS TO BECOME your number one priority in life. This allows you utilize every time you get triggered, and get the most out of ordinary every-day situations. And if it isn't clear already, THERE IS NOTHING MORE IMPORTANT YOU COULD EVER DO IN TERMS OF SELF-IMPROVEMENT AND FROM A CERTAIN ANGLE ON YOUR PATH TO LIBERATION. 

How do I get to feel good all the time?
So you wanna feel good? Well you are not the only one, and YES YOU CAN! Don't listen to the people who say "ooh well life isn't all rainbow and unicorns." You can literally choose that reality for yourself. You can feel great, ALL THE TIME.
 
Total and absolute self-love. 
This should be done on two levels.
1. You create something I like to call Meta acceptance. That means total and absolute acceptance of yourself in all situations. Practically this means, that whenever you are feeling down, you can accept yourself without judgement, whenever you screw up, you choose to accept yourself, but that doesn't end there. If you screw up, and beat yourself up, you choose to accept your beating yourself up! See why "meta"? <3.
The self-acceptance chain runs a little like this:
You find yourself in a emotionally disturbed state. Your thoughts are among the lines of "I am not good enough". >> "Oh stop, don't think of yourself like that!".
The way you apply meta acceptance is - First accept the thought of "Oh stop, don't think of yourself like that". (If you want something a little tangible for acceptance you can mentally hug the thought.), and once that thought is dealt with, you move onto the other thought of I am not good enough. And you accept that.
2. Acceptance of your body and feelings.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GcNGtZPPSS8 - Leo's visualisation works perfectly for this stage of self-love.
Basically what needs to happen is the activation of your heart-center and then spreading the "love feeling" to the rest of your body. 

Why should one love himself? Because he is already perfect. He is always the most exact expression of god that he chose to express in the moment. The most perfect and beautiful creation, that has never ever existed before, and never will after. A complete, blissful perfection in the eyes of The one. Side note - self-love is a skill, that will grow and fluctuate throughout your journey. That is natural and nothing to be alarmed of.
Hammer it down with a visualization!
Healing is in essence an inaccurate concept. There is nothing wrong with the "unhealed" one. When you decide to take up on healing, you are choosing a different perception, different quality and embodiment of life, and different energetical configuration of your being. It is not better, nor worse, that is why we choose our suffering, as well as we choose our bliss. We choose healing because DAMN IT FELS GOOD! (And from that standpoint only can you make an argument that the "healed" state is a better one, because it is in the direction of your intuition, which is nothing else but following what feels good).

So every day, you choose to step more into the reality of a better feeling energetical state. Into the blissfulness of being.
How?
VISUALIIIIIZE! <3
Let's assume that there is such you that is fully healed, fully recovered, fully on the bliss side of the emotional spectrum. The you that is passionate, alive, joyful, fearless.
How exactly does the embodiment of these qualities (or any other of your choice) feel?
How does it feel in your body? What kinds of thoughts are you having? What kinds of people do you hang out with? What is your financial situation? What is your family and relationship situation? What does it look like when you communicate with others? What kind of job, or what kind of person are you in a job? How assertive are you? How responsible and sensitive are you? And so on...

Use the miracle that is your imagination, visualize that you are already embodying every single quality you desire to embody. Imagine that you are blissful, joyful and peaceful. 
Every single day, whenever you remember, just imagine this YOU! This YOU that you know you came here to be, and imagine that you are ALREADY living that paradigm.
This allows you to stay motivated, make it number one priority, and will have a healing effect within of itself. 
And through the visualization - Allow yourself to raise your standards. Give yourself permission, that you truly deserve to feel amazing. You truly deserve to have an amazing life, you truly deserve to be the one you know you came here to be. Through visualization, you create an end-version of yourself. This will allow you to use all the necessary means to get you there. It is the end-result that inspires means.


Breath-work

Breath-work is an essential part of the healing process. It allows integration and gets the suppressed emotional energy in your body moving.
Pranic breathing/visualization - An exercise to be used whenever you feel an emotional trigger in your body. This usually happens in the stomach and abdomen area, but not exclusively.
1. Close your eyes, and make yourself aware of all the feelings in your body. Identify everything you choose to work on in the moment, anything unpleasant or limiting.
2. On a count of 6, take a deep breath INTO YOUR TUMMY!!!!!! while visualizing All the emotions rising up!
3. On a count of 6, hold onto everything you have been meaning to rise up while holding your breath.
4. On a count of 6, breathe out, while letting go of everything you have been holding onto. Then hold your breath for 3 seconds, and breathe normally for a little while (doesn't need to be more than 2-3 breaths).
5. Repeat the whole process until it feels redundant. I highly recommend doing this practice daily.
Sidenote: It helps if you calm your mind before the exercise through any means you find fit. 
  The Wim-Hof Breathing technique
This is for an advanced stage of already initiated healing. I do not recommend this exercise for the initiation of the healing process. If you feel that it resonates with you and fits your needs, then by all means use it any time you deem appropriate.
1. Breathe in the full capacity of your lungs, and breathe out instantly. Repeat the whole process 25-30 times, until your head feels a little dizzy.
2. Breathe out your last breath from the previous step and hold your breath for as long as it feels comfortable.
3. Go back to n.1 and do the whole cycle again. Repeat for at least 3-5 times.   
LEARN TO LISTEN TO YOUR BODY
This is a very simple but crucial part. Get yourself into a habit of making choices based on what feels good in your body, and you can turn your whole life into healing, making the process much quicker, and more intuitive.
IN ex. you wake up, you do your morning routine, and you don't know what to do next. Move your awareness into your body, and ask yourself "what would feel the best to do next?". There might be answers such as drink a glass of water, have sex, go for a walk, masturbate, go socialize, etc.
This can at times get tricky, and that is when we are presented between a dilemma of Egoic vs. Authentic choice. Imagine that you are in a restaurant, and you can either choose to eat a cake or a salad. Now there are instances, where eating the cake would actually be an authentic choice. It is completely fine. But let's say you are trying to shed some weight, and naturally eating a cake would feel good! Right?! Well Then follow this principle. Will it also feel good 5-30 minutes after I made the choice? (eaten the cake..),
 
And heureca. A simple guidance system to navigate your whole fucking life, to get yourself asap to your highest alignment.

How to deal with negative/lack beliefs

First a quick guide to make yourself aware of your limiting beliefs - Let's say there is something that disturbes you. Maybe your spouse doesn't text back and you feel bad about it. So you calm your body and mind, and start enquiring within. 
Why am I feeling bad about this?
>> It feels like they don't love me.
If that is true, why is that so bad?
>> Because with no love my life is meaningless.
If that is true why is that so bad?
>> Because that would mean I am not good enough.
If that is true why is it so bad?
>> I am not good enough
This was just an illustration, your enquiring process will probably be much longer and have perhaps several dozens of questions, you might check out Katie Byron's process that she calls The Work.
So you've got this belief that you perceive as limiting, and decided to do something about it. Great!!! ADMIT DEFEAT.
You cannot win over a belief in your subconscious from the stand-point of This is not true! I will fight this! Because in essence, your subconscious has so much more power than your conscious mind. You can't override it with brute force. So admit defeat. The belief is there. You do not believe you are good enough.
After admitting the defeat there should be (there may be exceptions so don't take this as a rule or confirmation of "I am doing it right") a sense of relief. Because you have been running from this belief your entire life, trying to prove it wrong. But now, when you admit defeat, there is no longer the need to accomplish anything in order to escape from the belief. There is acceptance. There is a little more peace.

Now when you are aware of your thought of "I am not good enough", trace the thought back into your body. Close your eyes, and follow the trail of your emotions. How does that thought make you feel? What are the underlying emotions behind this belief? This might take a while to take an effect, but sooner or later, you should arrive at an emotion that can be worked with.
AND THAT is when your breathing exercises kick in.

What should follow is a lot of release of unconscious emotions. Your most cathartic moments are the ones when you are overwhelmed with emotions. 
 
 
List of cathartic actions/events/situations
Journaling and writing down thoughts in free association Tingeling or weird sensations in the body Speaking in tongues CRYING shouting outbursts of anger panic attacks unexplainable fear obsessive thinking unvolutary body movements strong urges (such as you have a strong urge to do something, or bark, or run,...) puking diarhea hyper horniness hyper sensitivity feelings of love feelings of resentment feeligns of disgust feelings of victimhood halucinations feeling sick feelings of stiffness and many many more :o) Desire
Desire. Ooh Isn't this one the favourite for the "spiritual folks" to pick on! =D.
I MUST BECOME DESIRELESS
DESIRE IS THE SOURCE OF ALL SUFFERING
DESIRE IS BLUEBLAHBLOHBLA EWW
SUPPRESSION
SUPPERSSION
EGO SUPPRESSED
AAH  #NOMIIIND #BUDDHA #SoEnlightenedRnLikeOmg


The belief in lack is the source of all suffering.
- Bentinho Massaro

What do you make of this one?
The belief in lack is the cause of all suffering.
Is that clear? Like... do you understand how deep this goes?
When you are born, you don't really believe in that much of lack do you?
You prolly don't believe that you lack money as a kiddo. You probably don't believe that you lack sex, or that you lack comfort (ok debatable). But surely not as many things as you seem to be lacking now.
Desire is the driving force behind all action. Without desire the universe would literally could not exist. What's the problem then?
Lack based desire vs. Inspiration based desire.
All of suffering is an illusion, because it is based on lack. Which IS an illusion. You can never truly lack anything.
If lack were real, happiness would not be a possible state of mind. I can prove this to you! Lack is truly an extremely illusory state of consciousness.
 
Right now, 
as you are sitting behind your computer screen!
Are you lacking a big shiny red apple in your hand?!
No?
But it is not there? (unless this is a fucking huge coincidence in which case Im highfiving you)
So how can you not lack it? If it is NOT THERE!
Well you don't... probably. You are not in a "state of lack of the big red shiny apple" that would be driving you crazy.

So how come you can lack anything else? Like money? Or love? Or anything what so ever?
Can you see the illusory state of mind?
Lack cannot possibly rationally ultimately exist. 
Conclusion?
Desire is OK!
There is nothing bad/wrong/untrue about desire. The trick comes in distinguishing lack based desires and inspiration desires. 
To be fair, as of now, most of your desires are probably going to be lack-based. And that is fine. It is a great tool for growth and healing.

How to exploit desires for growth

1. Every time you feel bad about a situation, ask yourself "What must I believe that I lack right now?"
And realize that it is a one big lie. You cannot lack anything. And even if you did lack something, wouldn't the most logical thing to do be just straight up getting the thing you think you lack? Instead of reminiscing and feeling bad about it?
Find out what you perceive you lack (let's use the example of companionship) "I believe I lack companionship." If it were true, that I truly lack companionship, what would be the most logical course of action? >> Go out and talk to people Ok great why don't you do it? Looads of self-sabotaging thoughts and behaviours probably will kick in. >> I don't wanna go out, people don't like me, I am shy, I am introverted, I can't make friends, I don't know anyone, I am a loser etc. See how the perceived lack was what created the suffering? It wasn't the desire itself. It was the belief that you lack companionship. 2. Every time you desire something, even when it is based on lack, follow it. Do NOT SUPPRESS YOUR DESIRES. That will truly result only in self-sabotaging and self destructive behaviours that will lead to more emotional issues down the road.
Every time we desire, we don't in actuality desire the object of our desire. We desire the feeling of having the object.
If I want a car, I don't actually want that car. What I truly on a deeper level want, is a state of freedom, or worthiness, or security,...
Can you activate that feeling of already having that car within your being, WITHOUT actually having the car?
Yes you can!
Visualize, breath-work, mindfulness, breath-work. 
What does it feel like to have that car? What are the sensations in my body?
What kinds of thoughts are coming up now when I have it?
What is between me, and the feeling of having the car?
Is it the feeling of "I am not good enough"? Or the thought of "I am not worthy"?
 
Once you arrive at a conclusion, healing can start, lack can be purified, and desire will be used to it's maximum to grow you, and to teach you your lesson.
 
side note: You can motivate yourself through realizing that once you get yourself into a state of mind where you "already have that thing you desire" without lacking it, it will be SO MUCH MORE EASIER EFFORTLESS AND FLOWING to get that thing in the external reality, that it really doesn't make any sense at all to keep believing in lack.

 

This is intended as a guide and a sharing of experiences after the initial "seeing". 
A little bit of an explanation: 
After initial seeing of the reality of no self, mind will begin to come back with a vengeance for a while, probing into the most intimate corners of your being, as if to ask if you are sure that you want to pursue this.
First attack is usually: 
"what you saw was either not real or you didn't see it at all or you've imagined it" etc. This is where people usually get lost. For some, they go back to believing their minds. They lost touch with their inner intelligence because they are so caught up in fears and lack of self trust. They stop seeing the help that is being given to them in order to transcend, lose insights and intuition, only to come back to them weeks or months or years later - usually due to life frustrations that keeps pushing them to continue. 
Solution: deepen your seeing. Keep inquiring who is the one that doesn't believe, Keep going back into "observer mode". Don't believe anything you mind is telling you. IT IS NOT REAL! 
Once you have deepened your seeing, You will receive some kind of help through synchronicity, new openings, new forms of seeing the reality and understanding it.
Second series of attacks involve your deepest programming and insecurities. Situations will present themselves to trigger what you cling to as a person. It will seem VERY real and frightening. This is where a guide is very important. Someone that can keep you steady and focused so that you don't give up. Different dynamics in the job area, family area, interpersonal relationships are beginning to manifest and everyone around you will try to pull you back into who they need you to be. 
I call such attacks HELL. They have a feeling about them that is so definitive, like a surgeon that cuts off parts of yourself. BTW, they will only cut parts of who you are not, of your own illusory construction. 
How to deal with such attacks. Usually during the first attacks of this type, you completely "lose it". You lose the seeing, the observer, the guide, the God and everything seems to go into a full panic mode. Body reacts in a myriad of ways - pains, aches, shaking, vomiting, trouble breathing, sharp knives, cold, hot, etc. Mind is going completely bonkers. If you can get in touch with the one that sees that and just let it happen, if you stop pushing it away, if you can fully feel the body's reactions, it will pass. 
Use any or all of these "affirmations" :
this has come and it will go this is only tearing apart things which I am not I am seeing all of this, it is not me I cannot be killed let go It is also very possible that you also lose the confidence and the trust in your guide at this time, because of the association of mind: "it is because of this person that I am into this mess". You need to prepare for this one in advance. Build trust and look into this, BEFORE. A good guru or guide will warn you about this and put in place techniques to reach out to him in those moments. I have a list of videos and one or two people to help me when/if this still arises. The help consists in the reassurance that all that's needed is to stay as the Self and watch all this. 
There's also a strong pull to just go back to sleep during this phase, as you see your self-made construction dissolve. It can manifest as suicidal thoughts, refusal to continue the looking, negating the guide, going back into certain pattern of behavior, throwing away all the books, deleting the videos, etc etc. Those, are also thoughts and you need to look at them as such. Keep going in. 
As an ending to this initial post, I want to say that if you read this and you know what I'm talking about, hopefully it will help you stay on the right track and reassure you. 
Every Enlightened Master has passed through this narrow space in order to transcend. For each of us, the experience seems different but it has the same roots and flavors. Keep in mind that TRUTH NEVER ATTACKS YOU, and if it does, it only attacks parts of who you are not!