Lai

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Posts posted by Lai

  3. Posted

    I am normally a very shy person, and not very good at opening up to strangers. But now I find myself in a dark place. This has given me the bravery to ask here for your advice.

    Over the past years I have been attracted to "bad" guys. Life's lesson was teaching me what I really need, by first offering me what I don't. Now I am in a stage of my life ready to start a family, so I don't want anymore of that pain.

    A few months ago I became aware of a very nice man through his online persona. Slowly, I became more and more enamored with him as I got to know his mind and feel his heart through his posts. So finally a few weeks ago I built some courage, and took the big step (for me) and approached him. I wanted us to get to know each other a little bit better, and secretly hoping something deeper could grow from our contact. As time went by, it appeared to me as if we could fall in love at any moment.

    This man lives on the other side of the world from me. So as we talked last night, I hinted that I could travel and visit him there sometime. Being enthusiastic and naive, I expected him to be warm to this thought. But instead his response was cautious and a bit distant. :(
    In that moment the world crashed around me. It left me breathless with this painful broken heart, this terrifying and dark loneliness that has since paralyzed me.

    My reaction to this pain has been to run away to a quiet corner, and cry away all of my tears. This unbearable sadness has such a hold on me... I am in such a dark place right now, and cannot find my way out.

    Please, if you have some advices that could help this stupid girl...

    Please forgive me for this self-indulgent post. I know that there are people with darker problems which deserve much more attention than mine. But now that I have shown my heart, my shame is too great and so this is my last post.

    Much love and hugs

     

    Lai8.jpg

    Zuzana

     

  7. Posted

    48 minutes ago, FindingPeace said:

    I don't think age is relevent.

    What is relevent is whether two people connect in an authentic and meaningful way. You could argue that younger people have less life experience to be able to connect with older people. But then again, it isn't always life experience that matters. It's attitude towards life and world-view that counts.

    I find that I rarely notice people's ages when I'm interracting with them. They are just people. I either connect with them or I don't. Age is just a label, a human construct. A measurement of time. But none of that matters. If two people connect, then age is meaningless.

    Beautiful!  Thank you.

  8. Posted · Edited by Lai

    4 hours ago, eskwire said:

    I want your cheeks.

    Omg... you've just reminded me of my difficult childhood going through school.  I was often made fun of my face cheeks.  My nickname was "the frog".  This is the main reason I'm still a shy person today.

    I traveled mostly alone, and sometimes shared rides with other travelers. You don't need much money to travel through Asia. If you are careful with your money, you can travel for just €20 a day.  Low-end bungalow accommodation (hard bed with mosquito net) is usually just €3 a night, and a scooter costs around €4 a day.

    This delicious BBQ corn on the cob was my dinner, and it was just €0.25!

    Lai7.jpg

  9. Posted

    On 3/20/2017 at 9:55 PM, LRyan said:

    Wow, I am amazed that you took this journey and that you gained so much from it.  It must have made such an impact on you.   How did you like the Vipassana retreat?   I am longing to do the same but I just wouldn't know where to start.  I have an interest in the Chinese culture and people as well. I always pictured myself visiting there and staying to help in some capacity....  So good to hear that you found what you were looking for!

    @LRyan I gained a lot from my travels, but I have more to learn.  The 10-day silent retreat was really tough, I almost left on day 3.  But it really helped me overcome a lot of pain and anguish and be more open to life's opportunities.  I may or may not have found what I'm looking for. :|

  10. Posted

    @jjer94 thank you, but I am so embarrassed. I don't mean to show off in any way.

    20 hours ago, jjer94 said:

    how did you plan a vagabonding expedition like that? Do you have any resources you could share?

    If you like I can show you some easy steps for this.

    First you go into a bad relationship that your friends warn you is doomed from the beginning.  Then you watch the trainwreck as your partner cheats and breaks up with you in a very heartbreaking and very mean way.  Having nothing to lose, it now becomes easy to take the next step:  travel light, alone, and as far away from Europe as possible. :) 

  11. Posted

    On 3/7/2017 at 10:34 PM, 0ne said:

    We have to eat, sleep, we forget, we're petty and superficial, everything we do and think is meaningless. When things are going "well", we fool ourselves into thinking life is "good", when in reality, any moment could turn into suffering.

    Why does the universe exist?

    We don't think about it, because we're so immersed in it, so distracted by it, and because there is no answer.

    Logic follows - if one doesn't see the point, then for them, there is no point. I could kill myself, but how can I know "I" will not be reborn? How can I know anything at all? So I can't do anything about it, what am I supposed to do then? Why the actual fuck do I exist and what am I supposed to do?

    @0ne  we are here to love... you can't feel it?  :$

  12. Posted

    On 12/9/2016 at 9:17 PM, jse said:

    "When love beckons to you, follow him,
    Though his ways are hard and steep.
    And when his wings enfold you yield to him,
    Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.

    ...

    But if in your fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasure,
    Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love's threshing-floor,
    Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.    "

    - The Prophet

    This is so beautiful... :x