LRyan

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Posts posted by LRyan

  11. Posted

    Having an understanding that ultimately we will not awaken most likely until we leave our physical body is probably not news to Most people on this forum.  This is not a news flash.  But, it doesn't mean that life as we know it is not worthwhile.  Being conscious and appreciating our experience that we have in this lifetime as flesh and blood is worthwhile!  There are a lot of pleasures of this life.  This is not Doom and Gloom.  Why rush awakening.  It will happen of its own accord.  Hopefully we can enjoy the ride until such time.

  13. Posted

    @Timotheus Thanks so much for putting this up!  Rupert is a fantastic teacher.

    This clip of his talk just answered my questions as to why I keep taking two steps forward and one step back.  It makes sense to me that the mind has to sink down and down and down into awareness.  Most people will not experience the instant enlightenment as he said so I see why it has to be this way.  

    I will never ever give up trying to find absolute peace and happiness in my everyday life.  This video gives me renewed energy and hope to keep going on my journey.  

    Thanks bud!! :)

  15. Posted

    So many profound insights!  Some I couldn't follow or understand but lots of confirmation of my beliefs of what is.

    I love the comments on change:

    22 hours ago, jwkspeck said:

    Change is inevitable - everything IS change. To WANT or NEED change causes suffering. The ego’s beliefs make it think that things aren’t perfect - but things must be perfect because they exist!

     Fantastic.  I get you... 

    22 hours ago, jwkspeck said:

    Mind and body are interwoven physically, metaphysically, literally. Body is form, all form is mind. Mind is existence, nothingness. ONE.

    Thanks for this insight.  It rings true to my feelings and beliefs.  

    Such a great report, thanks for sharing..... now a new journey begins!  Good luck.

  17. Posted

    @dorg I think what I should have said is that my awareness goes into monkey mind far too often.  Pure awareness/consciousness is always there and doesn't go away but the insane mind takes over and then awareness is absent for periods of time.  Everyday life issues and requirements is the trigger that pulls me away from my awareness.  Mostly when I am speaking to other people I find that it is extremely difficult to maintain awareness.  Like getting sucked into a black hole and wrapped up in nonsense.  Then a space opens up where I become aware that I have drifted off into never never land again......over and over.

    My goal is to be aware for longer periods of time and to realize when the mind and thought patterns are running wild and then boom, back into the pure joy and peace of total awareness.  Until I can do this more often, I feel like a yo yo....up down, up, down......In and out of awareness...constantly.

    I am grateful that I know what awareness is.  Years ago, my mind was the world to me and I believed everything my thoughts told me.

  18. Posted

    @Nahm   Awe thanks for the support!  It is so helpful when I hear such good tips to help me to get to where I want to be!  And, I'm looking for things that I can implement practically and immediately so I am making a commitment to being void of stimulation upon waking.  I really think that will help because usually my mind starts running in loops before I'm even out of bed.  A conscious effort is needed here!   I'm a work in progress at the moment which is fine.  Everything is fine actually.................Except I can't figure out how to post a picture for my avatar and I would like to have an inspirational quote under my posts!! lol!

  19. Posted · Edited by LRyan

    @Saumaya Have you gone through this questioning of your assumptions and beliefs?  I'm wondering how you go beyond what you already thought you have gone beyond?  I know the layers are deep.  I might need to take a more directed approach to go further.  I'm not sure how to delve deeper without possible attending a retreat or secluding myself from life for a period of time.  

    When I say source energy or God or Universal Energy, I don't mean that I am talking about any thing or religious notion.  I'm actually talking about no thing..... Nothingness, Maybe energy isn't the word I mean.......when I say a piece of the universe, i don't mean that it is separate.  I might not be able to express it in words what I mean.  

  20. Posted · Edited by LRyan

    @Nahm Yes, thanks for catching that unconscious thought that I need to "get Back"! lol.  There is no back and forward, of course there isn't.

    I really get what you are saying about surrendering preferences and I applaud you for that.  It shows such presence to realize that the body needs simple things to be in optimum shape, food, real food not chemical variations of food and exercise.  You have worked very hard obviously to get to that point.  I hadn't really thought of doing that for myself but I'm interested in the idea.  I admire your ability to also take this to a relationship level.  I'm not there yet but I do see what I need to work on.. Takes surrendering to do so, yes.

    That is such a great idea to make a morning ritual of not clogging the mind with anything immediately upon waking up.  I do believe we have a clean slate upon waking and that I something I will put into practice to center myself for the day and perhaps that will bring about more embodiment of how I want to exist in a peaceful state ....thanks for that! 

    It's always the triggers that come crashing in, pulling you back into unconsciousness.  For me it's the phone....reminding me that everyone in my family needs my attention.  I have lived with a people pleasing personality for all of my life so learning to put myself first has been my greatest challenge.  If I am to move forward with this work and inquiry, I will have to shut down the part that feels the need to help everyone.

  21. Posted

    @Timotheus

    Its such a deep crazy realization I know.  I think the mind is insane and we all have dark thoughts, look what we are capable of really....anything. 

    Here is a quote I love:

     

                                                                 "divine guidance often comes when the horizon is the blackest"

                                                                                                                                                          Gandhi

     

     

    This I believe wholeheartedly.

     

     

  22. Posted

    @Leo Gura

    Yes, the small glimpse that I felt and had were so mind blowing it was enough to change my mind and everything I know as a human being for as long as I will walk this earth.  I knew right then that all my previous ideas about what I was were wrong and I had to keep looking for the real meaning.

    At one point I felt so in tune with everything around me, I felt like I couldn't live as a flesh and blood human anymore because I knew that everything that I was doing, going through all the motions with people and a job etc.  were just inauthentic.  I realized that I would feel like an actor with people because I feel we are all actors.  We are not who we are but the paradox is that we CAN'T be what we are on this earth can we?  It's quite literally impossible.  It felt like all conversations I had with anyone were completely useless and had no meaning and at first it felt weird to very very difficult to carry on a conversation with anyone.  BUT I felt such peace, no conflict there were no problems nothing.  

    Have no idea if this is related but when this happened to me a year and a half ago, it was the biggest full moon I ever saw.  It felt so large and close to me it was very strange.  

    I was not on any kind of substance when this happened.  It was like an instant realization though that crashed in on my mind.

    It felt like I needed to go and be alone ....forever after I had this realization.  But again, since we can't do that, I got sucked back into the play, the game this thing called life!

  23. Posted · Edited by LRyan

    @Saumaya I have questioned until I break all questions down to the one question..who am I?

    My belief is that I am soul energy expressed in a human form in this dimension.  I believe that I am a piece of God or a piece of the Universe, whatever anyone wants to call it...Source Energy.  I also believe that we are all one, but on this plane, we are expressed to look like individual people in a human form.  I don't believe i was born in the sense people think of birth and I don't believe I will die.  I believe it can be summed up that I am purely a part of the universe expressed as slow moving energy that is currently embodied as a human being.

    Everything is about transformation, being birthed into this human life, dying from this human form.  Its just simply a transformation back into universal energy, source energy or God in it's infinite formlessness.

    This is my ultimate belief.....but I am  open obviously to other views or ideas as not many humans that have ever lived as one have had 100% knowing to the core of their being, the answers they were seeking..

  24. Posted

    @Faceless   I feel like people around me are evolving and I am finally getting the information that I need.  Reinforcement that having a glimpse or an experience of enlightenment is not the end but rather the beginning?  Is this what you are getting at?

    I do understand that Psychological time is a man made idea so we can reference certain points of a day.  Even the term day is made up and doesn't exist either.  I get what you mean that saying, in time...I will understand and "get there".  There is no where to get and there is no such thing as the past or the future everything happens right now in this second ...then it's gone, then again, then it's gone...I get that for sure.

    I like what you said about liberation can take a day or a lifetime...could even take a second.  

    I truly can understand now that my expectation of and enlightened experience does not change the habits and ways of the self without further effort to integrate the two.  But my question is...can they be successfully integrated??  Some spiritual teachers seem to have sort of done it but I'm not sure.  Moojoi seems to have, Eckhart Tolle and Rupert Spira and a few others maybe but it seems to elude most.  Hmm.  Thanks for the input! Its great to have something for my self to work on ;)

     

     

  25. Posted · Edited by LRyan

    @Leo Gura Hmmm.  Thanks for cutting to the chase....I can see what you are saying and I am in agreement with it.  The issue seems to be that it was my assumption that if I understood enlightenment the way it is described by many teachers, it appears as if it IS the catalyst to throw someone into the bliss and peace of knowing that all is one and everything is infinite and that when you literally experience this as close as we can get in human form to knowing the truth, the self as we have known it and all of its silly quirks and issues and petty unimportant mundane problems would drop away and that things would be without conflict because of the enlightenment experience and knowing the infinite nature of existence.  How stupid and unrealistic this seems to be. 

    This was my problem and why I felt so neurotic after experiencing that peace because I wasn't able to walk around with a smile nodding at everyone and agreeing with everything.  My expectations were wrong.  I fell into a simplistic view that enlightenment or the glimpse of it meant the end of the suffering fool living out a dream in physical form.

    I finally feel that there is something that I can work with here.  The truth shall set you free ....but we are still living with a self that requires tending to.  We still have to live within certain boundaries to be a part of society so we can function in this form.  It makes sense that it would not be an instant fix but rather something that is so eye opening and so conscious that we could shift our thinking and habits to align with what we have realized.

    I don't have the most analytical mind and I don't conceptualize things as well as others but is this what you mean?  If I am on the right track, then I can actually work towards trying to align my self with what I know to be truth and try to live as consciously as I can.  Emotional triggers is the biggest issue for me and throws me back into insanity.

    I catch myself in unconsciousness countless times per day.  I have woken up enough to see the insanity going on in my head and around me so I am able to do that, but I am still unconscious far too much for my liking.

    Yes the self is one stubborn bastard! lol!