Crane Bahnsteik

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  1. A problem can not be solved at the level at which it was created, this is like a fly bouncing against the window when in fact the window is open. What are nice guys? 99% of nice guys are nice because they want something and are being manipulative to get it, so its a conditionality, they are only nice if they get what they want, since this is highly manipulative the other person will subconsciously pick on it and start resisting/avoiding or even treat the manipulative person in a harshly manner. Also, by being nice to "get" you are coming from a duality perspective, the perspective in which there is something to be gotten, this is never the case and only induces more resistance in the other person. On the other hand, being a dick triggers the innate ego response of seeking approval, thats why many people chase assholes, its an approval issue derived from lack of self esteem and self love. All these problems arise due to the innate sense of separation that accompanies experience, people feel good in relationships because a part of the sense of separation dissolves and the state of peace where nothing has to be done starts to prevail. Since we cannot control other people and trying to do so only results in more resistance, changing our behavior to get results (being less nice, being more aggressive, being rude, being sexual) will either fail or put you in relationships with like minded manipulative people. So, the solution to the problem is letting go of trying to control others and letting go of getting their approval, since anyway, all these are "internal" perspectives and do not exist in the "real world", there is no one approving of you out there, there is only a feeling inside which you unconsciously are creating, by realizing this then you realize all subjective reality is self created and separation is merely an illusion necessary to create emotions. In this state you attract people that actually like you for what you are and with whom you have the innate sense of freedom derived from the non manipulative state you are now in. In this state the people who don't like you or even treat you like shit just don't matter anymore, its their problem and only reflects their lack of self love.
  2. Speaking solely on the covid vaccine issue, the more the government pushes the vaccination the more people will push back, it is normal human behavior, that's why the best form of control is the one you are don't even aware of. About the people who don't want to take the vaccine, well, there are various types, some have good points while others don't, fundamentally nobody knows anything, it's an experimental vaccine and just because you feel tired for 2 days and then feel fine it doesn't mean you won't have any problems years from now (you can check side effects on openvaers), some diseases take years to develop symptoms, adding to this the censorship that is going on where even the Mrna vaccine inventor got censored on youtube and no one is talking about prescribing ivermectin only generates more disbelief, you even have organizations like OSHA stating that they will not enforce 29 CFR 1904’s recording requirements to require any employers to record worker side effects from COVID-19 vaccination. This will result on a segmented society where you will be able to clearly distinguish who's vaccinated and who isn't, and shame/discriminate who isn't until they are vaccinated, which is another form of control and a decentralized one. Want everyone to take the vaccine? Stop pushing and put a price on it, people love paying for stuff.
  3. Yeah PUA culture does that to you, it makes you feel guilty everytime you don't approach, they make you feel guilty so that you buy their product believing your guilt will disappear, it's a business model and it sells. I had the same problem, the problem arises because you are resisting the feelings of guilt and fomo, just accept them, everytime you see a beautiful women feel the emotions inside and accept the fact that yeah maybe you are missing out, maybe you don't have the courage to approach, and maybe you don't even deserve a girl like that, by constantly doing this you stop being a slave of your emotions and you will start to approach whenever you feel inspired to, it will come naturally and you wont even have to think of it. And now because you are not acting out of fear and neuroticism the interaction will be much smoother and enjoyable. Stop beating yourself up with a whip.
  4. It has nothing to do with women, many men do the same. We all have an ego and a level of neuroticism, society promotes neuroticism in a relationship via the midia, tv shows, music, and so on, this get programmed into our minds, the endless cheating love songs, the my ex on the beach shows, you name it, emotional drama sells. If you are not happy in your relationship either learn to be fulfilled alone or just get another partner, life is too short for that shit.
  5. You might have Post-Orgasmic Illness Syndrome, but since you only feel depleted for 2-3 hours this is probably not the case. If you can, just jerk off right before bed, otherwise, try flush niacin (500mg) on the day you are going to orgasm, this is what is generally done in the case of pois and helps aliviating the symptoms. Post-Orgasmic Illness Syndrome is still not well understood, but the most known theory is that it is a condition triggered by specific cytokines that are released by an auto-immune reaction to your own seminal fluid, in this case, anti inflammatories before orgasming can help, but obviously it is not the best aproach long term. However, since you only feel depleted for some hours, i would point it to some residual shame/guilt associated, even though the symptoms are physical this can still happen.
  6. Its very relative, online dating is certainly an area of mastery, a friend of mine catfished girls and when meeting them irl he was very honest about it and he still got laid that way. It depends on your level of integrity and how you feel by abusing photo editing, if you feel guilty about it then its not generally a good idea since they will pick up on this. The best way would obviously be to take interesting pictures with a dslr, but since not everyone can do this, you have two options: You either be integrous, take the best photos you can (not selfies) and keep the Photoshop use to a minimum, like for example, fixing the beard, hair, skin, lightning, shadows and highlights, etc. This is great if you want a relationship. Otherwise just get some photos of people online that have a body similar to you and Photoshop your face on it, you can do this on people doing surf, rock climbing, doctors, vets, and so on, this is great if you want to get laid, not so good for a relationship. Another way to take this to another level is to get followers on instagram, make it private, and put your username on your dating profile, at least in my case it was the difference between 10 matches in one day, to 50, and i only have around 1400 followers. Its easy to get lost and start photo editing like crazy, girls will give you a lot of attention and be sexual right off the bat, the important thing is to not lose track of what you wanted in the first place.
  7. Oh no, i stopped taking it years ago. My ed got fixed permanently on the first 3 months, then took it on and off for a couple of years since it made me feel good and more social even at very low doses (50mg/daily), but by personal preference i just wanted to stop depending on it. I also worked on my diet, removing all sugars and so on, and started experimenting with supplements, zinc, taurine, niacinamide, ginkgo biloba, magnesium, were the ones that worked best for me and i still take them. If your testicles work fine which i assume they do, hcg or something similiar will also be beneficial, but mind always estrogen control, and also check prolactin levels since ssris can increase it long term. The best approach is to attack it from all angles, physically, mentally, and spiritually. From the mental perspective, increasing working memory also works great, this can be achieved by playing dual n back or even playing chess. On the spiritual side of things, sedona method and releasing techniques also work great. Yeah those 3 can really mess you up, but thankfully we have the internet to research and do everything under the sun to solve these issues.
  8. Well, i became apathetic and lost all motivation in life, relationships didnt interest me anymore, orgasms were anhedonic, and i could barely leave my room without feeling very severe anxiety, i lost verbal fluency and the ability to make decisions, like ordering food at a restaurant for example (i would just look at the menu and couldnt decide), and also got post orgasmic illness syndrome.
  9. What you resist persists. Sit down and let your thoughts consume you, but instead of focusing on your thoughts focus on your emotions, when i say emotions i mean the feelings you feel on your body relating to those thoughts (the knot in the stomach, the dry mouth, the fast heart rate, etc), stop resisting the sensations of the body and fully surrender to the discomfort. The thoughts keep appearing because you are resisting the underlying emotion, no one can handle intrusive thoughts, they spawn by the thousands, but you can handle the knot in the stomach, the dry mouth, the fast heart rate, and so on. By resisting you become the victim, but when you gather the courage and face your emotions head on you will stop being the victim and you will be able to deal with it. With practice this will become automatic and you will be able to apply it immediately to every thought. Also, your diet can have an impact on the number and severity of intrusive thoughts.
  10. If i'm not mistaken the mr happy stack has alpha GPC and uridine, from a mood enhancing standpoint they are very similar, but when it comes to repairing some brain functions i believe citicoline is the way to go, and its way cheaper as well.
  11. To let go of our parents is really tough nowadays but it really has to be done, one can only become an individual after doing it. Since we have to depend on our parents to survive until adulthood, this causes you to value them above you, and to seek their aproval constantly so that they wont stop feeding you. This is not always a problem, but when the parent figure is of a tyranical nature and emotionally unstable, you will adapt to it, becoming always anxious and fearful since you never know what might happen next, one day your mother might be happy and cheerfull and the next day she might be randomly wanting to beat you up and scream at you for no apparent reason, and since your degree of self love is generally proportional to the degree your parents love you, this will mess you up and you will always be trying to be loved by her. There is also the fact that the parent figure can become a filter between you and the world, you think with "her head" and "her opinions" because you are afraid of using your own and failing. An example of this would be a mother telling her fairly young son that he should be an engineer unless he wants to be a failure, this will be programed into his mind for the rest of his life if he doesnt become conscious of it, and there are dozens or even hundreds programs like this on each of us. The way out is really to live like your parents have died, symbolically. Understand that your mother is just a person no more valuable than you and doesnt know more than you, understand also that her approval means nothing and that your life is yours to decide, this will be very hard because you will be afraid to do it, but it is the way out. Trying to fix the relationship will not work, we cant control other people, they are as they are, we can only control how we react to it, after fixing the problem inside you the relationship will be fixed and there wont be a problem anymore. Also practice a lot of self love, try to look at yourself from your perspective and not from the perspective of others, create your own criteria and opinions, really take some time to look yourself in the mirror and love yourself, and all the feelings that arise, after all, you are all you have if you don't love yourself first no one will love you.
  12. Yes.
  13. Well, i solved that by masturbating in front of a mirror and really loving the image of myself, every aspect of it, even the ones i didnt like. If you have some parts of your body that you quite dont like, just love them as much as you can while you do this, feel the feelings that arise and accept them as well, this will build a relationship with yourself. This is not as easy as it seems since sometimes we dont even like our everyday image in the mirror, much less while masturbating. By doing this you increase your degree of self acceptance and self love to yourself, and so the need for a relationship diminishes since there is not much to get outside of you anymore. The ideia of narcissism will probably appear on your mind but understand that it is only a construct made out of pride, to love others you have to first love yourself.
  14. Sedona Method, the 1992 videos on youtube are quite good to start, and the surrender technique by David R Hawkins which can be read about on his book "Letting go" (or just search it on youtube), is quite good as well, they complement each other.
  15. Unless everyone interacting is very conscious of the fact that there is no separation and they and the other person are in fact the same, every social interaction will inevitably be a game based on personal interests. It is true that women play games when it comes to having sex or a relationship, but they don't do it with everyone, there are exceptions, they only play games with men they are not so sure about and not 100% attracted to, even though they end up having sex anyway. If you take for example a famous attractive guy, very rarely any women, (shy or not, virgin or not) will play games with him initialy, they just want sex right off the bat and they will be quite aggressive about it, since this is aligned with their personal interests (Aproval, Pride, etc). The games will come later in other forms (Dominance, Control, and so on). Ofc men play games as well based on their desire for sex, status, and control, you can't play a game alone. As a man I used to have sex with women that liked me but that i was not 100% attracted to, I would just be very sexual and kinky from the start and if they were into to it i would have sex with them, this was my "game". Since i was not 100% attracted to the person my interest was only sex, but when I was interested on the person based on my personal agenda, sex would become secundary. Games are a waste of time and not aligned with the true nature of what we are, thats how a lot of bad long term or even short term toxic relationships are formed.