Jonson
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Posts posted by Jonson
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Thank you guys , sorry for the late response
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Hi guys !
I wanted to ask , if you could give me advice on how to structure my writings.
How can I structure my content in a way that it's easy to process ?
I want to make a script for a video , but I'm stuck thinking about how to structure it in a way that I keep it interesting and get the main points across clearly without wandering off .
I know there are many other factors to making it interesting , but I'm only asking about the structure , the order in which you present your ideas .
I'm sorry if this isn't related to self-actualization in that sense
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@Shin yes i do, like ... daily, i was on nofap for 14 days until a week ago though, it was cool
45 minutes ago, Shin said: -
Here's something that I wanted to talk about.
The thing is that I often feel weird when I go to a party, an event or when I have to talk to some girls that i do or do not know.
But, at school, for example I'm super confident and I can talk to anyone (i'm the most confident in my class, i'm also very funny) . Maybe because i already know them well. They understand me well and i understand them too, so we have a very cool chemistry between us. I love my classmates.
It feels like my confidence changes so much, depending on the environment and the people.
For example : I was a bit drunk the other night and went to a club with two friends of mine, i met a girl and i even danced with her. It was ok, but then today I met her again and (she probably expected me to be charismatic and cool like i was in the club) . I don't know why but my confidence level dropped af and i could barely say something, it was awkward.
I also noticed that when I feel awkward, speaking becomes very hard. It feels like my mouth-muscles are very tensed and I have a very bad pronunciation.
The reason may also be that i'm tired.
I also feel shitty when i have to talk to people who i'm not compatible with.
Right now i'm at a techno party, sitting in a corner lol :))
I don't feel bad, just tired and not understood.
Thanks in advance for your patience ????
Hope you have an amazing day
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4 minutes ago, aurum said:First prove that there are these things called "other people".
Lol how can i prove this :))
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How do I know that other people perceive reality just like I do?
How do I even know that they perceive reality at all and they're not just a fiction of my mind?
Well than whatever you would respond would also just trick me into thinking that you guys exist as separate entities perceiving reality, even though I don't actually know it, because I am the one creating meaning out of your words.
With all this I still believe that everyone exists as separate entities for some reason. I hope that reality doesn't just consist of my perception , lol, that would be weird. ?????
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@Viking I also have this problem sometimes . I think it is because of the way you think about yourself. You think more about what others expect from you rather than what you want from your life. I think that in order to do something with passion you need to think about why you do it. And if it's a task that you must do , than still try to see how completing the task can help you. I feel like when I let go of my expectations and focus on the present moment , it just comes to me what I need to do and how I need to do it .
I just watched this video and it helped me
Good luck
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@JOEE That looks nice , I also eat lots of eggs :))
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2 hours ago, Angelo John Gage said:I would suggest not listening to anyone on how you body responds to foods other than your own body's feedback. This means eating a certain diet for a few weeks to see how you feel; then change your diet to another diet and see how that feels.
But it is logical to see that one should stay away from eating a ton of processed foods and eat make sure they each mostly, densely nutritious whole foods. Make sure you are getting enough green veggies and complex carbohydrates like spinach, green lettuce, kale, ( the darker the better) lentils potatoes, yams, rice, whole grains etc. The occasional junk food here and there will not harm your body.
You do not need to eat a ton or any meat at all, if you wish to not eat animals, for whatever reason, until your goal is gain more muscle, but if you do, make sure they are humanely raised and grass fed. If you eat fish, make sure they are not farmed.
In regards to your ance, it could be genetic or it could be you're eating too much processed animal products and fats. Try going whole food vegetarian for a few weeks or drastically reduce your meat consumption while upping your complex carb consumption. Protein and carbohydrates are both 4 calories per gram so if you cut your meat consumption by 3/4, you could add 3/4 more carbohydrates and should see no increase of fat as the calories you're eating daily would not change.
Thanks for your advice !
and thanks for taking the time and effort to respond
1 hour ago, Caterpillar said:You can stop eating meat for a week or two and see if it makes you feel better. I think that's the best way to find out.
I'll try it , thanks
1 hour ago, Star Net said:Hi @Jonson
Read about Garlic ....,
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What foods should a 17 year old male eat ?
Should I eat meat ? Is it ok to eat meat in moderation ?
My mom buys stuff that I think is healthy like : lens , beans , potato ... so she prepares normal kinds of meals.
but sometimes she also buys cold meat stuff , like this :
I have some acne and I want to get rid of it . I exercise sometimes . I'm pretty muscular , not buff , just fit , maybe a bit skinny.
Any advice ? thanks
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I was thinking about this :
I made myself a plan for 2018 , I wrote down what I want to achieve and I wrote down the habits i need in order to achieve those goals.
But as I was writing these down , I had this thought that with all these habits I will have every day so organized , that i will miss out on interesting experiences or entertainment , relaxation because I'll have my daily rituals that I'll not want to break .
I feel like if I structure everything than I won't be able to be spontaneous cause I'll have to do everything at specific times. For example if I plan to meditate everyday at 3 pm and one day I have the opportunity to go on a date with a girl or I have a great idea on drawing something cool , I'll have to choose meditation so i don't break the habit. I can plan free time in my schedule , but then having that free time every day in the same time interval , might become pretty robotic in a sense. Or going to sleep everyday at a specific time also feels pretty robotic to me.
Maybe I say this because I haven't been too disciplined in my life , I was always chaotic . I meditated once 60 consecutive days or worked out 3 times a week for 3 months . These were my biggest disciplined "action-takings " .
In my life for example : I would want to work on different projects and not necessarily having one single field that i master. Like I would want to make a film for like 1 year than become good at public speaking than i would learn to paint , maybe learn programing and automatize stuff in my life through different softwares .
What do you think ?
Now that i read what i just wrote i feel like disagreeing with my past self :)) I'll come back when i actually took the disciplined action for like 1 or 2 months and then I come back
sorry
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On 12/26/2017 at 8:32 AM, lmfao said:focus on understanding things through first principles, rather than directing my focus towards regurgitating facts in the exact manner a teacher or textbook tells you to (although in exams you must write down the answer the examiners expect of you). I hate the fact that teachers wont go through the reasoning that led to a conclusion and then expect you to mindlessly memorize the conclusion.
I also hate it :)) and then the ones who get rewarded are usually those who learn the formulas and just apply them in problem-solving , rather than understanding the mechanics, the logistics behind those formulas. This happens in every class , not just math : teachers telling "facts" based on their personal assumptions and based on their social conditioning . They also have this attitude of knowing it all .
On 12/26/2017 at 8:32 AM, lmfao said:Although I have 6-7 friends I hang out a lot with, I only really feel close to 2 of them, as they are the only people who like discussing abstract ideas with me
This happens to me sometimes too and I'm just wondering , how are they not interested in important fields like philosophy ,meditation, psychology , success ... they're more interested in clothing , trends , instagram popularity - not like that's bad or something ... I also care about that stuff but it's far less important than anything above - they kinda imagine that those things will make them happy :)) but not all of them , i also have like 2 much more open-minded very cool friends. But that's not even so important , you can still appreciate them , they probably have many other positive aspects too, other than critical thinking like sense of humor -- that's very important in my opinion .
On 12/26/2017 at 8:32 AM, lmfao said:I have a problem with social anxiety, I try to avoid crowded areas, as I feel like everyone is judging me negatively.
On 12/26/2017 at 8:32 AM, lmfao said:I have a low-self esteem. I am not very physically attractive and I hate the sound of my voice. I am shy around girls, and I think the cause of this is my religious upbringing which demonized sexuality and how I should view the opposite gender (right now I am an agnostic atheist). I am a very neurotic individual who ruminates a lot. I hate myself for all of my deficiencies. I feel depressed.
This is bullshit ! I also used to think like this a lot and sometimes i still feel like this but then i realize that i'm just wasting time . I'm also 17 and I used to tell myself that too , i had like a depressed faze when i was 15 cause my crush got a bf , i had this victim mindset ... since then ..i've talked to many amazing girls ,had a lot of fun ... i have grown a lot . I am so much better in social situations now - All it takes is just opening your mouth and saying what you want in the way that you want. Other people are not some kind of authority to decide if you're ok or not. They all have their own insecurities . Girls don't care about how you look , they care about how you make them feel . Share your good vibe with them. search for RSD on youtube and take action . 3 weeks ago i set the goal to kiss a girl , wrote it down ... a week later i kissed a good looking girl at a party - okay i drank alcohol ... but whatever i still completed my goal
On 12/26/2017 at 8:32 AM, lmfao said:addiction
i'm also addicted to masturbation , i do it daily , but it's normal to have these urges , maybe stop watching porn . I also need to quit lol . I'll try nofap for a month in 2018 .
I also used to post long texts like this :))) not to long ago :)) telling my whole life story - all my problems :)) i think that you've got this !
MEDITATE . I did it for 60 days this summer . i'll do it it everyday in 2018
it really helps even if it's frustrating or uncomfortable (really -it's not) sometimes it made me more disciplined . Get out of victim mindset .
I wish you luck
take 100% responsibility for your life and also chill out . This is also me giving advice for myself , cause i also need it a lot :))) maybe more than you . have a nice day
Fuck my grammar , from Europe . I need to learn to express myself .
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1 hour ago, Dominik Drums said:Not trying to offend you, but you have to respect other people here. We are spending our time to read what you wanted to communicate and I simply don't understand reason of this topic. Maybe it's just me, but if not, then what's the point? Think about this.
You are 17 yo and I hope you will comeback here and see your topic after few years from now, realizing how much progress you made over those years.
@Joseph Maynor replied to you politely advicing meditation trying to catch one of the things you mentioned. I would say that peace of mind is what I wish for you, that this peace will come with experience and self development, cause you are on good path.
- You don't need to convince anyone that what you learned is true.
- Don't let others people agenda override your agenda, if somebody wants to simply dismiss you for petty reasons ignore it
- If you suspect masturbation is your addiction don't masturbate for at least one week, if cravings arise - you are addicted and do something about it
- Girlfriend problem will gain it owns perspective over time, you'll see - at least I wish it will for you
Don't be angry about my reply, here you have some words from older guy. Wish everything the best for you.
Thank you for your response
Yes I know there is no strong reason for making this topic , and now that think about it , I'm really sorry if i wasted your time I was very selfish , only thinking about myself :)) me me me ... thoughts thoughts thoughts /// worry worry worry ...
Thanks
much love i honestly mean it lol Bye !
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It's long but not that long... Whenever I watch these actualized videos I feel a need to share it with everybody . I feel like all my past intuitions and questionings are kind of validated . I always try to share these videos with others , but they tend to dismiss me by rationalizing , and saying that i shouldn't philosophize that much , i should be more realistic. For example in school , I try to convince my teachers that the way they teach is not leading to understanding but rather memorization of "facts" ... and that the proper way would be to tell us that we have all these systems based upon concepts that people came up with to help us in conceptualizing reality. They should be honest . I probably just want my ideas to be validated by others because i'm unsure because i haven't actually done the work - i am not accepting reality. A few days and I'm 17 ... I'm probably addicted to masturbation , i mean i do it daily once ... i don't know for sure if that's a problem ... and i am not practical enough in my life ... I haven't had a girlfriend although i had many occasions : I have a lot of attributes which make girls like me ... but i just had this fear , that I am different ... and that they are living in a bubble of stupid assumptions ... another problem that i faced was the different humor that they had ... it felt so normie-like , average , not creative . And usually when i see people making jokes ... they are not really laughing ... just like haha in a superficial way ... I like it when people can't stop laughing , i don't think that laughing about "retarded shit" makes people stupid . I think people laugh when they hear , see .. something unexpected ... so when i see people laughing at normie jokes ... i feel like they are really limited . And there is a girl in my class ... who i really really like even after 1 and a half year after she got a boyfriend ... she has kind of everything ... i feel like we really connected emotionally and intellectually on a deeper level , but i was too much of a pussy back then to actually tell her how i felt ,i mean she knew back then , and she knows now , but i didn't initiate a relationship so she got a boyfriend . A boyfriend that is similar to me .. someone i would hang out with . OO boi - I know I should just find another girl , watch PUAs , focus on learning , implementing habits and detaching from the conditioning ... I've tried to make lots of plans on how i'm how i'm going to become a life master , master in everything... and conceptually it is still there and even practically i had many SUCCESSES in being social , smart , implementing mediation , etc.. But i still don't have girlfriend . Any advice or perspective on my story ? thanks
Also i am very chaotic in general .. although I'm trying to put it all together somehow.
from Europe
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I am not qualified to talk about this because i am not well educated , but if you are than please enlighten me :))
I was thinking about this : Are there enough material resources in the world to distribute them in an equal way to every human so that they don't need more ? I don't say that people wouldn't want to be competitive or to seem superior to each other but that they could do it through their talents and intellect ... not through their possessions of material things.. and if it is so ... could we build robots to replace the mechanical work that people have to do ... and everyone could just focus on each other , on the present moment , on their relationships , on science , on personal development , on art , on fitness , on researching , on enlightenment, on being happy, on leading a healthy life , on studying , on having fun ... without worrying about financial stability , without constantly needing to do stuff in order to survive ?
... Could people build a system that empowers our highest consciousness ?
Could that ever be achieved ? Could that be a life purpose ? to try and build such a system where open-mindedness is empowered ?And if so , if it is possible , are people actually trying to achieve this ?
Or ... there always has to be a balance... and there's no such thing as "everybody's happy" ?
I'm 16 so I should probably study a lot first .. cause i know very little about how things work ... but I would like to hear what you think ?
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I alwAys think about how i should have the ideal life ,about how i should be the smartass , how i should work and learn and then i preach like a fcking arogant idiot and i don't even take action ..
I always just think about myself ... and i criticize people who actually work for their living , work for their money , while i am just here not doing anything
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Omg thank you all for your time I am very happy now It is so true .. i actually didn't solve my problems , i didn't learn a lot of things that i wanted to learn , i didn't get a girlfriend , i didn't establish the habits that i wanted ... and just kept philosophising and watching videos and idealising about how everyone should behave and how everyone should treat me :))) i'm sorry for that title ... i was just butthurt cause someone called me stupid :))) probably am :)) Love you guys .. thanks for everything 
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Hello guys
My name is Hans , I'm 16 , I live in Romania (EU) and I go to high school .
I follow many self-help teachers , fitness guys and a lot of debates like Religion vs Atheism (i feel like they should all just watch Leo's videos ) .
I notice that there are many unnecessary conflicts between my friends , at school , at home or anywhere . The way sometimes I try to solve these problems is by going deeper than they do , asking them what caused the initial problem and trying to see both sides , trying to see the good in every side , the common goal -the solution - but what they do is they just debate and debate trying to prove their points (usually they just say their opinions without having any arguments to back it up) - and what they usually say to me is that I AM JUST PHILOSOPHISING and there is no point for me to talk or something like this . This happens to me even in school with teachers or in certain groups of people . They say that i am ignorant and arrogant by doing so ," philosophising" , or that I want to be a smartass .
I see that people don't take me seriously : I think it is because of my lack of verbal skill and because i am usually a funny guy and I make many stupid but very funny jokes - they misinterpret that as "i am not a serious guy and i can't say anything constructive " often , which is absolutely stupid - Why tf would you not take someone seriously just because he sometimes intentionally plays certain characters , says stupid jokes - the goal being to make people laugh and smile . But who they take seriously is people who make fun of others in a funny way ,but they are always perfect of course . And I don't want to say that i don't do all these shitty things , i do ! but i recognize my mistakes , i try to be aware of them . I just want people to be more aware of their thinking process .
Of course there are some people who understand me and I really appreciate them , they are amazing people .
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I meditated for 60 days straight and then i stopped for some reason ,don't know why, probably because of laziness.
9 minutes ago, Mad Max said:Just meditate.
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@Girzo omg man thanks for your response . Right now i feel a bit empty and I also feel like a failure , i just realised that she actually liked me a lot . I was just ignoring her throughout the week a lot because i was afraid that she wouldn't like me , omg . The fear is the only cause of weirdness . We even talked about me being weird and i just blamed it on "mood swings" yeee....:))) But i still appreciate this whole experience because i saw some improvement since the first one , especially that i had to talk another language .
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Hi i feel like i have to write something . I am 16 , At school we have this program of going for 1 week to a school in another country .We are a german school in ROmania . We go to the german families and vice-versa . It includes trips , parties and stuff.
Last year i went in germany and I met a girl. (I am kinda the only one from my class who tried to have fun and connect with the stranger german girls , cause we have different languages - They are really different from Romanian girls ,they are intelligent , open minded , free thinkers , they are just amazing ) . I had some good conversations with her, and we also had a lot of awkward moments
, uncomfortable moments where we didn't connect emotionally . But the thing is that even if we had all these bad moments , i could have still given her a kiss
, i had so many occasions , chances , but i just didn't do it , cause i felt very depressed in the moment , i was so anxious 
because i was over-analyzing everything. The thing is that i could only be with that girl for one week and then could never see her again. I didn't kiss her !!! I was very disappointed ,very sad , I even cried. Then i finally came home and i was like what ?? why tf were I such a pussy , why did i have those powerful negative emotions ? Were they created by me ? ...I wrote a post on actualized.org about it , then i felt better . And then I said I will never make this mistake again ... 
Next year the germans came to us. And there was a NEW GIRL , a beautiful one , just like the other one . Again , we had some cool moments, but there were a lot of awkward moments and also social pressure because i was the only one who tried to connect with a german girl . I can say she really liked me and she wanted something to happen. She was trying to say funny things , she gave me hints , we were like " yeah , we will be together " We also got physical this time : A lot of hugs , a lot of close face to face interactions, dancing . BUT still not enough - we didn't kiss . I DIDN'T KISS HER . Many times She was looking into my eyes and I felt insecure. I could blame a lot of things for why this happened , but deep down i know i could have done much better . On the last day we had a party before they went home ... we were both trying to connect and feel good so that we can finally kiss ... but it was just so much tension and frustration that we felt weird and anxious. My friends were encouraging me to kiss her but i didn't. UGGGGHH Fuck me !! Then i was like " Oh we don't feel so great , so we shouldn't kiss cause it will be awkward " . Now I'm like "I should have fucking kissed her anyway , it would be a 1000x better then now , it could have been such beautiful moment , facing my fears and having a great end to the story . When it was time to say goodbye , i went and talked to her and it was kind of a relieving conversation because i told her how i felt .. I told her something like this " I know that we tried to have fun together an be together , it;s probably my fault that it didn't happen ... maybe we just don't match . " and then she asked " Why do you say we didn't match ?, i think we had a lot of great moments together "
i am crying right now .. i am so sorry for her now ... and i said " i feel like there wasn't that chemistry between us but it's ok cause i had a really great time with you, you are such a kind and beautiful girl " and then she awkwardly laughed and she said " You can come next time in germany " , I gave her a long hug , then I was looking into her eyes , we were looking at each other and although I said all these things to her , I finally felt THAT WE WERE ACTUALLY CONNECTING ....and ....it was a beautiful moment,...we were looking at each other... and I was thinking of kissing her ..... Guess what happened : I WAITED TOO LONG and she had to go !!! UUUGGGGGGHHH ...... I am so fucking angry about myself right now !!! , I was kinda happy that i told her how i felt cause i never told a girl that i love her .... but i was very sad that i didn't kiss her .
And here I am a few hours later writing this post and i am just thinking " Man , what an opportunity i missed , FUCK man , FUCK " .
There is a chance though that i can go to them again , or that she can come again but that is not granted.
Will i ever get over my weirdness and actually kiss the girl ??
I am scared that i won't meet such an amazing girl again , it was my only chance .I feel like i want this girl back in my life . And yes i know all the principles about dating in theory but it's very hard to apply them
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"What is the point of creating art ? Is it to make ourselves and others feel in a certain way ?
To inspire others ?
Why would I want to inspire others ? So that they can create art which inspires others too ?
Should there be any reason for it ? Why should there be a reason ? "
Sometimes I have thoughts like these when I want to create some art , like making a video ...
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I love to laugh at weird interactions ... especially when i have friends who understand them
I love to build tension and release it .. trough laughter
Do you guys have this type of humor ? Where you just laugh at your own attempt to socialize or your attempt to make jokes ? ... I just love it .. and I don't really like normal jokes and I just don't like when someone tells me a joke and wants me to laugh I just stay there like "yee very funny ".. But I am very attracted to shy, not superficial people , I feel like they are much smarter and more egoless (in a way) idk ... i love self deprecating humor .... maybe it's about the way the joke is told ... .but it is rare that i find people like this with whom i can connect .. I feel like if i surrounded myself with such people .. we could create amazing work , art, ... produce amazing movies because we would share the same vision .. like we laugh at our own insecurities and have fun... IDK .. it's just hard to find such people.. What do you think ? I'm 16 .. no girlfriend .. i'm pretty lonely actually sometimes ...
Ps: i also like filthyfrank's humor , IDubbz and Pewdiepie lol
in Personal Development -- [Main]
Posted · Edited by Jonson
I see many self help channels on youtube , where people talk about passion, motivation and all that stuff.
I'm just wondering what is there so much to talk about ? I see people getting successful by talking about how to be successful.
I feel like many self help people just talk about all these things , but that's all they do, that's how they make their money ... they aren't actually solving world problems, if they really wanted to, they would learn a lot and then occupy a function where they can actually change practical stuff.
Or when I'm seeing people saying that you should hustle , hustle for what ? For making motivational videos ?
I'm not trying to criticize anyone , I'm just wondering why. When I see an inspirational video on youtube , with some clicheic background music , I'm like
why should i be inspired ? Inspired to make some inspirational videos myself ? Because that's what the inspirational people do , they talk about inspiring others.
It feels like a never-ending circle .
And then I think like this : We are 7 billion people on earth , according to some website we have enough resources for 10 billion. Why don't we just redistribute them in an equal way ? We would all have enough . Why all this "hustle" ? Everyone should aim to automate the work that isn't fun. We should all just have fun and explore the world without having to "hustle". We should enjoy each other , get into the best shape possible and learn about stuff .. or just relax sometimes .
Isn't that the best way of living ? To have fun and explore the most interesting places ? To meditate , to experiment with psychedelics , to make interesting art , to play , to enjoy each other .
Sorry if I seem unintelligent or if I haven't structured my thoughts well , I hope you get the idea . I felt like I needed to get this out of my head.