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Yes absolutely, I should have clarified I’m not bored by the content, I agree with most of it and I think it’s very informative, with theory that I’ve put into practice , I wouldn’t be where I am today without stumbling onto actualized.org, it’s just lately I seem to drift when listening

Now I don’t know what you were imagining when you read that title, but I’m seriously wondering if there is some deeper meaning behind this I first started watching Leo’s videos over 2 years ago, and for the first year I was attentive, awake, enraptured even by what he was saying, but for the past year, to this very day, every single time I click on a video, the quote pops up, I read, his face appears, I minimize, the volume goes up, I listen, think, visualise, then somewhere around the 10/20 minute mark the body slowly relaxes, my mind starts to loosen and all of a sudden I’m asleep, some time later I wake up, the videos finished, and I’m rolling my eyes at myself for yet again, falling asleep, thanks to Leo So naturally I’m wondering why, currently I have no idea, except maybe his naturally soothing voice

@Naviy Yes a guided based application with reminders seems to be the easiest way to jump into it. Yes, to just do seems to be the only way isn't, otherwise you're just not doing. Do you think attaching negative and positive motivations towards meditation, which in it's essence is to bring awareness to emptiness, a good foundation for starting the practice? it seems most 'teachers' preach a non judgmental, open minded approach. Yes I agree

I struggle with implementing meditation within a daily, weekly or anytime practice. Although I understand mediation is not restricted to sitting and implementing technique, and is available to practice at anytime, what I am looking for is a daily implementation of sitting and being. Myself seems to avoid the practice, devalue it, or see it as complete bullshit without meaning to, my surface thoughts has no problem with seeing the benefits or gain I might achieve with it and wants to start, yet struggle with actually doing it. How the F do I start doing?

In many circles it is yes, but I see it as merely a lifestyle choice, one which is worth trying if you can. To this day I perceive my eating habits as more of a concious choice, trying to see the implications of what I do, wether it be good or bad, as long as I know, and can see what I do, I'm okay with it.

Oddly enough the depression has been more calming than the constant chatter that usualy habitated my thoughts Yes that is whats always going on when you really take a look is it not, alas seeing through all my thoughts that say otherwise seems a difficult thing ... Yes but then isn't what makes up our entire 'life' a thought? Thinking that its a thought doesn't cut all the baggage you're still carrying around that says otherwise.. guess it's just a matter of contemplation and patience

Its beautiful is it not? the problem that's arised for me is when your whole life has been based on: And to see the pointlessness of such action, resistance has arised in shifting perspective towards where

I'm facing a problem where I've stumbled hard onto the 'fact' that life is meaningless, where it effectively showcases we as identities are the creator of meaning and it's placement within our lives, while simulationaly rendering 'meaning' an empty word, it's caused sever depression out of a resistance to that 'truth', I don't understand fully and I don't know what to live for anymore, I'm lost as hell ... Any perspective on the idea that life is meaningless?

I understand where you're coming from, and even though this thread is old(ish), your first post struck a cord, I thought the same once, and still do to a degree, Your confusion seems stemmed from the belief that the mind & body exists, thus creates our isolated sensory experience, and is explainable for our conceptual life, identity, and enlightenment. But entertain that your assumptions about the body are wrong, and that there is no physical self here to begin with, so everything you've built from that has been a lie, what could your life be like if you didn't believe there's such a thing as body & mind? The only thing we can know is that we can't truly know anything, even that.

Yes, and no. Because why the hell not, sure you can meditate deeply on why they're a resistance in your life, uncover the layers of your displeasure and become in tune to what causes your perspective, but that's just more bullshit, maybe good benificial bullshit, but bullshit nonetheless, they're enemies for a reason, an opposition to your identity, and accepting that rather than denying it shows that life is an experience of full diversity, and that you can learn to love, that you can play with, grow from and go into experiences of profound emotion, no matter how short lived... or maybe you just want to become neutral to all experience and gravitate towards emptiness, where you hope to find peace, "real" peace, it's all the same in the end, and not one way is better than the next Edit: But I can't really speak, I don't have any enemies, and if there is I don't really believe I have a problem with them, I have a problem with myself.

Believing in anything hurts, we grasp the unceritanty on faith, wishing for it to be real. If your goal is liberation, taking in as many practices, from as many sources possible, with as much an open mind as possible, while simultaneously questioning those before you, will always be "quicker" than just following one practice, as dedicated monks tend to do, or... maybe it'll just confuse you further, who knows

Depends what you smoke weed for, an escape from your everyday life, soberity, identity? Whatever the reason meditation can be just as effective in any state of mind, with any drug, at any time, it's about the relationship you share with your experience, not the technicalities with your current state.

Because they're "monks" Or more specifically, they close themselves off to other teachings, practices and ways of realising enlightenment Be careful about the assumptions we make, especially for those you cannot know, but you don't need me to tell you that.

I see where you're coming from, but it's still from the perspective of identity, with being ego (delusional) or (extorting effort to be something) as unnatural, and empty and present (no effort) as natural, which is also fine in the grand scheme of things. Althought the very act of effort is effortless, a person engaging in strenuous activity, i.e playing sports, is simultaneously putting tremendous focus and effort in the moment, while all of it is natural because there was never any starting point of being empty, present and natural, to bursting, focused and concentrated, there is no reference to which a natural state was to which an unnatural state is, there is only always the natural state, for every state and frame of mind is being. So while being empty and present is natural, so is being focused and acting in effort, and to think there is a distinction in the first place comes from identity. if you already understand that then

Hmmmm, how do I put it ? Thinking you are anything , emptinesss, everything, universe, god, being, nothing, whatever, is attatchemnt to being something, anything, which itself is ego attatching to identity, in whatever form it can take, when the simple fact is you just are, just am, just is, just was ... Thoughts can't tell you what you are anymore than I can, they can be good pointers, yet that's it