Devon

It seems to me you are over-extrapolating your own inner perception of your sexuality to the general population and over complicating it. First, it’s actually quite a common phenomenon/kink for men to be able to imagine having sex as the woman with a man and enjoying it. Frankly, I think this is distinct from even your standard bisexuality. I can do this if I try to. If you pay close attention though you’re still being aroused by “your” own femininity in the situation and not the man. If you were truly bisexual, you’d desire men regardless of your current gender. My main question is, why do you think hetero-attraction is “nature’s game” and homosexual attraction not so? It seems like you’re simply operating in a limited paradigm of sexuality. For me, it takes a considerable amount of effort as a straight man, regardless of how much radical open mindedness I employ, or how conscious I become, or how much I tap into my feminine side… to be naturally be attracted to men sexually. It’s deeply programmed into my nature to desire women. There should be absolutely NO reason in an infinite limitless consciousness that you cannot incarnate as a man who also innately desires men. No reason whatsoever that this couldn’t or shouldn’t happen…it happens with monkeys. And it’s natural precisely because it DOES happen.

Do you mean talking about it to a girl you intend on sleeping with or in general? When it is a woman you are interested in sex with, I’d say its analogous to going for penetration without foreplay. One must break down other social barriers first. Social context matters…but women are different than men in that a feeling of comfort and safety is a prerequisite to entering the sexual domain (and for good reason). So yeah if sex is explicitly talked about before they feel comfortable then that’s going to result in them considering it creepy.

Of course its not racist. It’s not even racist in the reverse. However, you may find that many women especially find it a turn off if they think you are fetishizing them on account of race. I tend to be attracted to desi and Hispanic women 5x more than other ethnicities, but if I explain my type I do so in terms of complexion and features rather than saying “I like Indian women”. Bc in my experience women do not like that one bit.

@Hello from Russia Yeah interesting thought. I’ve meditated sporadically for awhile, but my meditation practice as a consistent discipline is fairly new. But I’ve been loosely into spirituality since 14 when I read Tolle, and I am 27 now and I believe that early exposure has had compound gains in my baseline level of awareness. A decade of frequent existential contemplation and introspection, consuming content like watching all actualized.org videos, and reading books on consciousness/spirituality has definitely primed me well

So after considering this for many years, I finally entered a phase in my life to explore psychedelic territory. I started with shrooms as this was the easiest for me to obtain. I primarily want to know if this community thinks my experiences on < 2g are typical. For my first ever dose I took a conservative 1.0g of cubensis (not penis envy) at 10am on a Saturday morning 14 hours fasted after an hour of meditation. Many people I spoke with said this would be too little and that I should go for 1.5-2.0g, but I figured better safe than sorry. My close friend took 2g of the same strain and didn’t have any visuals. So I really took it thinking hardly anything would happen, but that I’d still get a small sense of what shrooms feel like. Well I was very wrong because I didn’t just experience saturated colors as some report, but actual vivid moving “hallucinations” for ex.. The patterns on my wood floor were flowing like 2-dimensional water, a fuzzy pillow on my couch looked like it was alive with flowy tentacles, plants were moving, letters or any kind of print were moving like crazy, my carpet looked like flowing sand etc. (BTW this was by far the most shocking and beautiful experience of my life as I didn’t know it would be so hyper-real) Psychologically I was still very much myself. But overwhelmed with joy, shock, self-love, creativity, and just instant clarity regarding my life. I felt as if I felt in a very deep sense all my potentials as a human being. Some really powerful insights came through as well. Honestly, it was the perfect introduction to the substance. My plan was 2 weeks later to take a higher dose, and I did. Taking about 1.85g…And the come up was INTENSE. Within only 15 min the visuals mentioned previously began (took 45 min the first time). And by minute 30 my bodily anxiety was intense, plants were going crazy, and the entire room seemed to be morphing slightly inward. A high pitch noise started ringing in my ears and started intensifying (I thought this would be a phenomena only at much higher doses) and I became incredibly nauseous. I tried to focus on breath and surrender but it was so much more than I expected at this dose that I definitely started to panic. Basically the first 60-75 minutes was hell and I threw up 2 times (didn’t fast like I did the first time). This was .15g less than a dose my close friend had NO visuals on?! After my 2nd time throwing up the experience did take a turn and become rather beautiful (Maybe I threw up some of the psilocybin?) and I had more deep profound experiences and interesting phenomena like the experience of my psyche literally splitting into two parts (higher and lower self) talking to each other and lots of strange involuntary stuff. But anyway I didn’t mean for this to be a full trip report…I just want to know if this seems like extreme sensitivity or around what one might expect. I can’t fathom taking something like a 4g dose. Also its quite a funny experience for me to be posting on this form for first time after perusing it for 5 years and watching Leo for 8 years. Thankful for any input!