thierry

At this point, I thought it was game over.

Interesting

Thank you very much. I’ve just arrived. The place is great. It really promises to be very cool. Yes, of course, I felt that she was touched and that it was hard for her because she had just broken up with her boyfriend. But well, I think there’s never a scenario where the girl is in a good mood and just ready for you. You always catch her on the fly, really. And she had told me that she had broken up with her boyfriend and that towards the end, they weren’t having sex anymore. the story continued: The day after I sent that message, she texted me around noon saying there was going to be a meteor shower that night, and she asked if I wanted to watch it together in her garden. I checked online and, indeed, there was going to be a meteor shower, but between 2 and 3 in the morning. I told her I wasn’t sure because I already had something planned that evening, but then I thought about it again and realized it was the last night I could see her before leaving. So I told her I would come, but probably late. I finished what I had to do with my friends around 10 or 10:30 p.m., and then I headed over to meet her at 11 p.m. When I arrived, she had already set up two kinds of hammocks we could lie on, and we had a beautiful view of the stars. She made herself some tea and offered me one too, and it was really nice. We had everything well prepared, we were lying on the hammocks, relaxed. Given what she had told me the night before, I didn’t get physically close to her and just enjoyed watching the stars. We saw three shooting stars pass by, which was pretty cool. She had also prepared some romantic, good-vibe music. Anyway, at one point, while I was lying down, she got up and kissed me like in Spider-Man me upside down. I don’t know, she started getting touchy with me, so I got touchy with her, and it was nice. We were under the stars, there was music, we were touching each other, and we were talking. At one point, she started talking a bit more seriously. She said this was potentially the last time we would see each other, and I replied I didn’t know but I guessed so. Then she asked if I wasn’t coming back after my stay in the Netherlands. I told her honestly I didn’t think so. And then she started crying. At first, I wasn’t sure she was crying, but I heard her sniffle, so I realized she was. I asked her if she was okay, but without making a big deal out of it, because to me it felt a bit like manipulative tears. But anyway, she said she was fine. It didn’t last long, and we went back to the vibe where we were touching hands quietly and kissing. She told me, ‘I think I’m still going to miss you.’ I told her, ‘Yeah, I think I’ll miss you too.’ Then we got up I’m not sure, maybe because it was starting to get cold and went into her living room. She said, ‘Okay, now you have two choices.’ Well, actually, she said, ‘So what do we do now?’ I said I didn’t know, and she said, ‘You have two choices: either you go home, or you fuck me.’ That made me laugh, and at the same time she said that, she started kissing me. I told her, ‘In the end, you’re not really giving me much of a choice.’ Anyway, without going into detail, we slept together. At the end of the date, she told me that in the end, she really wanted to see me again. And that’s how I left things, telling her I would text her. Since then, she’s been texting me and starting conversations often. @theleelajoker @Emerald So, to answer the famous question, which is: does sex equal attachment? I know it’s an assumption, but in my life experience, it’s an assumption that is very, very, very close to the truth and very easy to verify. I would even go further no, actually, I would simply say yes, sex equals attachment. Because if there’s sex, the woman is attached, and if there’s no sex, she’s not attached. Now, yes, of course, I’m aware that before sex happens, she must have already developed some attachment to you and built an emotional connection. But that emotional bond is so fragile before sex that it can break at any moment. To use a metaphor, the way I see it is that if a woman’s attachment to a man is a flame, then everything you can do before sex and outside of sex like going to restaurants, laughing together, being cheerful, walking on the beach all of that is leaves, bark, pine cones at best, things you put in a fire to light it, but nothing very solid. And sex is the big log that completely solidifies the fire. It’s what makes a fire last for a very long time without having to tend to it. The evening I made this post when she had just told me she’d seen her ex again honestly, I wasn’t that stressed and I was still confident. And the reason I was so confident was precisely because, despite what she was saying and what I perceived as a little emotional storm that would pass, there were already big logs I had put in the fire. And in the end, well, maybe it’s a self-fulfilling prophecy, but I was right, because in the end, she wants to keep something going with me. That’s how I see things. Of course, once you’ve put the big log in, nothing stops you from adding pine cones, bark, whatever you want. And all those pine cones and bark will catch fire even more because there’s a big log. And that’s why, in my opinion, some women say that in the end, sex isn’t that important for them what matters is the man’s personality. It’s because underneath all that, without even realizing it, under the restaurants and the guy’s personality, there’s solid sex that enhances all of it, making it even more solid, creating a sort of fireworks of love for the woman. But none of that would have happened without sex. Without sex, she could do the exact same things she does with her boyfriend, but it would just be with a friend. And if that friend were to walk away from her overnight, it wouldn’t hurt her that much. Whereas if her boyfriend left her overnight, it would be like her world collapsing. The last thing I would like to say is this: I think that, after all, we each live in different worlds, and a truth in my world may not be a truth in your world. For example, I’m sure that in the life of a man of honor, a man of integrity, a man whose conscience has grown within his values and blossomed within his values, this assumption that sex equals attachment doesn’t even exist, because he is never even confronted with it. To be honest, I’m a piece of shit I’ve sold my soul to the devil and that’s how I came to this realization that, in my world, for women, sex equals attachment. But at the same time, to truly understand the male–female dynamic, I think you have to sell your soul to the devil. You can’t maintain perfect integrity, honor, and honesty and still understand male–female relationships. Otherwise, you stay on the surface without ever going down the rabbit hole. Because you never come into contact with 99.9% of human beings. @Hojo She didn’t have a threesome the day after we saw each other. It was after we had been seeing each other for a while. She told me she was going away for the weekend to celebrate a birthday with some friends she had already had a threesome with before. But first of all, she wasn’t planning on having another threesome, and on top of that, I think she asked me if it would bother me if she did have another threesome with those people mostly to see if I was attached to her on my side

@Nick_98 Specifically, what’s the problem? I don’t understand. You say you’re addicted to meditation, but there’s nothing more sober than meditation. So you don’t seem like an addict to me quite the opposite. To me, it’s like saying ‘I’m addicted to water’ or to doing push-ups. Something that’s good for your body and good for your health. What you’re describing sounds completely healthy to me, so I don’t understand your problem. Could you really clarify why you think there’s something wrong with the way you’re living? As for wasted effort, if you think meditating is useless, then stop and do something else. But if you tell me you keep coming back to it because you really enjoy it and, in « that you’re addicted to it » that means you take pleasure in meditating. Which, to me, is truly a good thing and yet another reason to keep on meditating Now, if you tell me that you’re addicted to « intellectual self-indulgence » and to listening on repeat to Alan Watts lectures (I love that guy) that’s another story. That would be more of a distraction problem.

Alright, I’ve got a story to share(it’s gonna be a bit long) that I’ve experienced myself. First, I want you to know that I’m not asking for help, I’m not looking for reassurance, and I’m not emotionally invested enough in this story for that. The point of this post is rather to bring some truth about women and about male-female relationships. That’s what I’m interested in here. By the way, I want to say that this is where I think Leo really excels the most in my eyes. Honestly, when it comes to bringing truth into the male-female dynamic. In my opinion, he can sometimes be full of shit when it comes to psychedelics or politics regardless of the amazing work but in the realm of dating, sexuality, and relationships, I think Leo is absolutely surgical. So, I arrive in the north of France for a good month of vacation. It’s summer, I’m chill, I play beach volleyball every day, and I’m in a good mood. So, I also decide to download dating apps like Bumble. On this app, I meet Laurane. We chat briefly on the app, but very quickly I start sending her voice notes, and I don’t waste much time before suggesting a first date. We meet near her place, on the beach. We walk, we have dinner together, we walk on the beach again. I’m pretty upbeat, I feel like she enjoys my company, but towards the end of the date, I don’t know why, I’m not 100% sure she’s into me. From the way she says goodbye, I think maybe she likes me, maybe not. I’ve had dates before where things went well, but in the end the girl didn’t want to see me again. So, I don’t get my hopes up too much. The next day, I don’t text her at all, thinking if she wants to see me again, she’ll reach out herself. She doesn’t text me all day, I spend the whole day playing beach volleyball, and when I get home in the evening, I see she’s sent me a message: “Oh, so you didn’t text me. I thought you would. Guess there’s something you didn’t like. Oh well.” I reply right away: “No, no, it’s not that there was something I didn’t like. I just wasn’t sure you were interested. Plus, you mentioned another guy, so I figured you’d meet him first, and if you still wanted a second date with me, you’d let me know.” She tells me no, not at all she ghosted the other guy. (I had forgotten to mention, she told me during the first date that she already had plans to meet another guy from the app.) She says she ghosted him because she wants to see me again, and she’s happy to have a second date. Between the first and second date, we exchange some texts. Things get sexual in the messages. We’re supposed to meet again, and I feel it’s going to be sexual this time. But at the last minute, she cancels, saying she’s not feeling it. The next day, we reschedule. This time, she’s into it she even suggests in a text that we take a shower together. This surprises me, because I was planning to escalate gradually to sex, but I’m happy she brings it up. So obviously, I bring her into the shower. Things heat up, we end up in bed, but right when we’re about to have sex, she says, “Actually, I don’t feel like it.” I try to understand and make her comfortable, thinking maybe we can still go through with it (I had in mind Leo’s advice that women always find excuses). But here, it’s clear it’s not happening, so I stop. She sees I’m a bit off and asks what’s wrong. I explain honestly: I’m convinced that a girl has no real attachment to a guy until there’s sex. After sex, I’m much more relaxed because I don’t worry as much about her attachment to me. But since we haven’t had sex yet, I feel like you could send me a message at any time saying, “It was nice, but let’s stop here.” If we had already had sex, I wouldn’t have that stress. She says she understands and even admits it’s true for her she’s often gotten attached because the sex was fantastic. She says what I’m saying makes sense. We talk, then go have dinner together. Over dinner, I move on to other topics, we laugh, she says things like, “I feel good with you.” After dinner, we end up back in bed, start touching again, and she says, “So, you want to go to the bedroom?” We go, and this time we have sex. Nothing crazy, but it happens. Oh, and she had told me before about her breakup with her ex, that it was complicated(it was apparently the main reason she was not down for sex..) etc. After we have sex, the evening goes well. Later, while we’re talking, she says, “You’re not very cuddly, are you?” I say no, not really. She then says, “You said I was going to dominate the relationship, but now I think you’re the one who’s going to dominate.” I laugh and say, “Well yeah, we just had sex now the ball’s in my court.” I actually believe that, and I learned it from Actualized.org. I really think it’s a valid assumption. After that, we each go home. Next date, more sex, good time, dinner, chill. We have two or three more dates, all going well, sex included. In texts, I’m not the one initiating much I’m busy with friends, volleyball, enjoying my vacation. I’m fine with the relationship as it is. Then she goes away for a weekend with friends for a party. She has two friends there she’s done a threesome with before. Before the party, she texts me: “I’d like to know where we stand if I have a threesome, would that bother you?” Now that we’ve had sex, I’m confident, I don’t feel threatened, so I tell her, “Feels like there are two questions in one here… but you’re a free woman, you do what you want.” What she really wanted to know was if I was attached to her. She asks, “Are you attached to me?” I say yes, a bit. But I prefer having this kind of discussion face-to-face rather than over text. She goes to her party, all good. Later, she texts me: “So, are we doing it in the dunes tomorrow night?” I say yes, I’m down. We meet up, swim in the sea, have dinner. Then she says, “I wanted to have this conversation with you.” Basically, she tells me she’s not ready to be in a relationship. She enjoys spending time with me, but she’s not ready for a couple. So I tell her, “Okay, that’s fine with me,” but deep down I feel like there’s something she’s not telling me. I don’t say anything though, and we keep talking. Later, when it’s time to leave because we were having dinner, I don’t know if I mentioned that right before we’re about to head out, I say, “So, are we going to the dunes now?” And she goes, “No, actually I’m not really in the mood.” I say okay, but in my head I’m thinking about it, and I open up to her: “Is it because of a text you got? I feel like there’s something you’re not telling me.” She says, “No, no, not at all, I’m just not in the mood. Moods change.” But then she opens up anyway and tells me that over the weekend, she saw her ex to talk. And she admits to me that she would actually like to get back together with him. For context, before we slept together for the first time, she had told me she’d been broken up with her ex for about a month, that it hurt, and all that. Now she’s telling me she saw him again, she still loves him, and she’d like to get back with him. I tell her, “Ah, okay, now I get it. This whole conversation about you not being ready for a relationship, enjoying spending time with me, wanting to keep seeing each other but not be in a couple yet it’s basically your way of saying that at any moment, if you feel like it or if the opportunity comes up, you can go back to your ex.” She looks at me with some resistance and says no at first, but eventually admits, “Yeah, what you’re saying is true.” So naturally, I’m a bit cooled off, and it’s also time for us to leave and head home. I tell her goodbye and “get home safe,” but of course I don’t kiss her or hug her. Honestly, I didn’t even feel like doing that in that moment. She looks at me and says, “I don’t like the way we’re saying goodbye right now.” I tell her, “Yeah, well, it’s fine you told me the truth, and that’s all that matters.” Then I say, “Get home safe,” and we part ways. Later, she sends me a message saying, “Yeah, I’m not feeling good, I didn’t like the way we said goodbye at all. I feel like I dropped a bomb and at any moment it’s going to blow up in my face. » I Reply to her « Honestly, I’m glad you told me things like this. I much prefer that you’re direct rather than keeping it to yourself. On my side, even though I’m pretty relaxed and I’m not necessarily expecting anything specific from this relationship, I don’t play on multiple fronts: I’ve deleted Bumble and I don’t talk to my exes anymore. So for me, it’s important that you share this kind of information with me, out of respect. That way, I can think about it, take it into account, and decide accordingly what I want to do. » she then tells me « Côme one you never open up » she also says « I stopped Bumble too, and I wasn’t talking to my ex either. I didn’t tell you the whole story. We weren’t talking anymore, he told me he didn’t love me anymore. And then yesterday he came back out of the blue. And it messed with my head. You’re not a filler, you’re not a plan B. I love the moments I’ve spent with you. I just prefer to be honest about what’s going on, even if it works against me, because you deserve the truth and I haven’t hidden anything from you since the beginning. » I replied « Alright, I understand. Thanks for the truth, that’s all I ask. The rest is my responsibility. » If you’ve read this far, first of all, thank you, because this was a long story. Second, if you have any truths to share or any analyses, I’d be more than happy to hear them. Thanks again. Personally, I was convinced that after sex, you couldn’t lose a woman—mainly because I’ve practically never lost a woman once sex happened. Every woman I’ve lost was because I hadn’t managed to get to sex with her. So, I feel like I’ve learned something here, and I’m open to learning more. But honestly, yeah, I was a bit… well, before, I wasn’t even that attached to her, but the fact that she was the one telling me this, it felt almost like reverse gaslighting. Like, I thought I had the power in the relationship, but she flipped it « No, I have the power.” So yeah, I think I’m reflecting in a bit of a toxic way here, my mind’s a bit fucked up, but my ego reacted and I didn’t feel good for a moment. For a while, I felt like maybe I was actually attached to her… or maybe I still am, I don’t even know. But anyway, what matters most to me above all is the truth. What’s interesting is that I don’t even feel stressed now, because I’m confident in the sex we had. I tell myself that whatever happens, it can’t really be “unfair” to me because there was sex. And honestly, I’m feeling good these days that’s why I kept my cool through all this. Plus, I’m going to do a martial arts seminar with Brendan Lee at the end of the week, so I’m extra excited about that, and it makes me pretty chill about this whole story.

That’s fine, but I have the feeling he’d be even more impressed by the instinct to ridicule anything that threatens one’s worldview.

Making a distinction in your mind that liberals are somehow more conscious than conservatives is not serving the Truth.

How do you avoid being pulled into unconsciousness when everything seems to drag you toward it? When health issues, traumas, and injustice affect a person how do you stop yourself from slipping into unconsciousness? Does anyone have a technique? I read Leo’s post about the UFC. How do you avoid becoming one of them, when your mind screams violently every morning, when both your body and your spirit are sick? How do you stop the process when u are already "half a demon ? When you already started doing weaked stuffs to please your lower self and became too weak to refuse doing those? Anyone got a real technique for this?

Are men more conscious than women ? Why are there more enlightened beings men than women ? or are women more conscious than men? Why do they have deeper orgasms than men ?

Very powerful ideas in this video. However it is hard for me to imagine what Peter means by « not depending on a job » For me it is like saying not depending on money. How is that even possible ?

Not for who she is but for her tits and her ass

I think to Peter Ralston psychedelics users are puppets and in a way he is right. Peter Ralston did not only make great leap in consciousness, he also is a very effective human being. It does not matter how much Love you reached through psychedelics and how much you transcend the dream, eventually you’ll come back to the limitations of your own dream and you will have to deal with those. In a way, sober consciousness work really IS more powerful than working with psychedelics. I’m sure lots of psychedelics users reached higher states of consciousness than Ramana Maharshi through psychedelics but it does not mean they are as effective as he is at Life. In a way consciousness does care if insights are really embodied in day to day life and it does care about « permanence » of states. I know for a fact my friends that are psychedelics users are even more full of shits humans. As an exemple I talked to them about a subject or a sport that they practiced for 2years or more. When it’s talking time, they seem really passionate, they tell me how good they are, they use very sophisticated terms. I am more likely to tell them how bad I am and in the end when we come to the real practice of the subject or the sport in question I realize how bad they really are and how much of pro bullshiters and arrogants they are. Of course I know this exemple of sport is dumb but to me this illustrates perfectly how psychedelics users can be even more disconnected with reality and Truth than non psychedelics users. Whenever there is an effortless technique, there is an increasing risk for superficial understanding and deceptions. I do not want to put all psychedelic users in the same bag, I’m sure there are some serious Truth seekers that uses psychedelics but imagine you were Ralston. Imagine all the rats people that did 5meo that came gaslight him about how conscious they are. Then what do you expect of him who worked like an animal for his insights to react ? and also one last thing I want to add is that if you did lots of sober work and reached a sober effective way of consciousness. Psychedelics can ruin your sober achievements. Psychedelics can affect your health and if your health is reduced, your state of consciousness can also be reduced. Think about it would you sacrifice decades of sober hard work for 5hours of Intense Love ? Peter Ralston refusing to take 5meo and to give credit to it is perfectly understandable.

I don’t understand. Maybe I’m wrong but isn’t Peter aware that while he was contemplating/training, he affected his brain and new connections were made within his own brain which eventually lead to all his insights ?

Brendan Lea on podcasts when Ralston dies:

Truth in its purest form is not appealing.