@Alexop Thank you for saying this. After 11 years of nondual work an living in nondual perception since 2021 I feel similarly. On a relative level humanity has a rudimentary understanding of what the masculine and feminine polarities of existence are. Being human and being a lifeform in general is not about the Truth. It is about survival. The overwhelming majority of people that you meet in your life cannot even fathom the truth of what existence is nor will they ever care. In my personal life experience I just meet people where they are at. I have zero thought that they will ever realize the true nondual ontological nature of existence and that is fine. Besides all forms in existence are yourself. You created the totality and you are imagining infinity into being right now. Every form you encounter, every person, even your own subjective experience is just an idea occurring within your Absolute Infinite nonlocal mind. It doesn't matter if the other parts of yourself haven't realized that they are dreaming. 

Obviously the guys in the dating subforum should not be thinking about this.
But being a monk is about being above society. The popular concepts of monks has been so watered down and misunderstood. Why do monks become monks? Because they finally realize that mainstream society is a madhouse of perverts and fools.
But see, mainstream culture never tells you this. It acts as though monks are just these kinds, nice guys so never judge. No! Monks judge that you are totally full of shit and you are diseased perverts.
But see, mainstream culture can never admit this about itself.
Christians are so stupid they don't even understand that Jesus was a monk, why? Because he understood that the lifestyle of religous people is a disease.
When you become deeply conscious you realize that mainstream society is a cancer.

Honestly, this is my experience:
If you are judging something outside you - some behaviour in others as stupid, bad, frustrating or find yourself having a reaction - it is because you are disowning and rejecting that WITHIN YOU.
To make a judgement about something is to say 'I do not have that' which immediately prevents you from acknowledging whatever that is, in you. If you did acknowledge it, you would dislike/hate yourself. And you DO have some element of what you dislike externally, in you. Always. You are just unconscious to it, and it is in indicator you have more work to do regarding self awareness and integration.
The marker for growth here is discernment. You can look at behaviour and say 'That is negative, and lead to bad outcomes'. Discernment. Whereas judging is disowning that behaviour and denigrating it in some way. Having a feeling reaction of aversion. As you grow, you will find yourself applying discernment and less judgement.
It can also operate in reverse - you see a trait/behaviour in others you love that you do not have. You do have it, you just do not see it in yourself. You have disowned it. It is relegated to the unconscious.
Discernment > judgement. Important distinction.

Best life pro tip of spirituality is to treat everyone like they are a retarded child. When you do that you subtly identify with it and will become one. Then you will be welcome into the kingdom of God.

@theoneandnoneIts like you are in a room with your family watching a romance movie and it touches your heart and you dont want to cry and cant hold it in so you have to leave the room. But its like that emotion times forever and it gets so strong you cant even feel you have a body anymore. You arent a human anymore and you are a vibrating emotion.
Then you hear and feel everyone shooting this emotion at you as you are now God and everyone and everything is loving and accepting of you. Not you the human or the identity but you the soul of every single person in existence worshipping God. We are all from the same thing and when we see it we love it for its helping us exist and we are helping it exist. We are its cope and it is our creator. The universe cannot exist without you its literally helping you and loving you. When you die, you will go back and see you are the entire universe, we  on this forum cannot exist without the entire universe, which you can see yourself to be.
And the same for everyone else on the forum. Its paradoxical like that.
If you died and left the universe the universe would beg you to come back because it needs you to exist.

What you're talking about is really THE core existential issue: consciousness of INFINITY.
The significance and gravity of INFINITY cannot be overstated. The entire purpose of existence is just realization of INFINITY. It is so profound it is way beyond meaning, it is about Being INFINITY.
If you realized INFINITY fully it would kill you. Way beyond ego death. Ego death is tiny compared to consciousness of INFINITY.
To fully embrace INFINITY means that you surrender resistance to any experience whatsoever. You accept that all experiences, all forms, are idenitical. That means you can experience burning children alive in a Nazi furnace with as much love as you can eating an ice cream cone. Because in your Consciousness all of this is identical. That is the Unity of God/Truth/Love.
A human self cannot accept INFINITY.
Truly, INFINITY is death. If you embraced INFINITY you would be dead, but you would also be in infinite paradise/Love. You are just too afraid to go fully INFINITE. So here you are, playing it small. That's what every human is.
INFINITY is not about meaning, it is about Being all things as once, because the Truth is that all things are identical. The ego cannot stand so much Identity and Unity. It literally kills the ego because the ego is built on assumed difference and bias.
The ultimate Truth is that you are EVERYTHING. But as a human you try to act otherwise, which is what creates all the psychological problems. You don't want to accept EVERYTHING. You don't want to accept your True Identity because it is literally death by Infinite Love.
That is why you are alive at all. If you accepted INFINITY you would already be dead.
This is not about meaning. This is about surrendering your fear to accept that YOU ARE EVERYTHING.
You do not need meaning. You need to realize you are INFINITY, and INFINITY is LOVE.
You don't need meaning because you ARE Infinite Love!
What you fear is Infinite Love! Which is just Yourself! Your biggest fear is just Yourself! Ta-daaaa!
You are infintiely big and that scares you to death.
How could I possibily know all this? 

I am blown away by how many wise, intelligent, thoughtful souls there are here relative to other corners of the Web.
It's funny: I used to take this forum for granted, even labeling it as a distraction from doing real work.
But what's cool about this place is it acts as a middle ground between learning and executing, theory and practice, studying and growing.
This forum is like a giant psycho-socio-spiritual, crowd-sourced, collective science project of personal development.
People come here to share how they're interacting with different facets of reality, different paradigms, and the different results they get. And you get to sit and read through raw case studies which you can compare/contrast with your own life experience. Or they can inspire you to be more ambitious, more disciplined, more counter-intuitive. Basically to live the different principles that are needed for building a great life.
All for free. And because Actualized attracts a generally high quality audience you get to interact with people you otherwise would only have a 0.0001% chance of meeting and hitting it off with in real life.
So, thank you Leo for building and fostering a wonderful ecosystem. We take it for granted 99% of the time and most of us would only realize its value the day after you pull the plug.

It is a sense of entitlement, abuse of power, and being surrounded by yes-men.
When you are poor you are forced to accept a lot of limits which you would never accept if you were rich.
When you are rich you can sexually abuse people and then pay them off to keep quite. If you have a billionaire dollars, the cost of this is insigificant. You could rape someone and then pay them a million dollars and not care. When you are poor you can't get away with stuff like that.
That's why great wealth is so toxic and corrupting. With great wealth you can be a moral monster and as long as you pay people off they will put up with it because they have no choice. That's what tyranny is.

I am not against workshops and seminars. There is much value in them if done right. Ralston does very good workshops, for example.
I do want to teach more in-person. Making videos all the time gets isolating. Too much time spent online is not good.

Play does not need self-deception.
Playfulness increases with consciousness. Self-deception makes the mind stiff and stuck in stupid logic.
The highest intelligence is playful and poetic.
Notice that fundamentalists and ideologues are the least playful.

Most bad ideas are just group-think and conformity, so of course it is a predictable script. No actual intelligence was applied to get the idea in the first place -- it was unconscious and mechanically obtained.
Real intelligence (good ideas) requires infinite requisite variety and live consciousness, not parroting others.
Bad ideas come from mechanicalness. Good ideas come from live consciousness. Mechanicalness is easily predictable, live consciousness is unpredictable because it is truly mentally free and genuinely creative/novel.
In short, there's nothing novel about being a Nazi, it's just an unconscious script.

You are concerned about the survival of your own ego. You dont want to change.
 
This is just your ideas of what it FINNALY would become. Which is fasle.
 
No. Your identity changes to your True nature, the true Self and it cannot have anxiety, because he itself is anxiety.
 
It is not. You can have/do anything, but you do it in a non-attachment way.
 
Yes. You have no idea what it ACTUALLY is. I've been there where you are at right now. I can see you have no idea or clue what it is just have vague ideas and concepts. It's okay to be where you are and you should not feel bad about it, but you can either go deeper or just close yourself off. You choose.
 
I only feel bad I didn't started to it earlier. Everything changes, you can see so much more, the depth of perception of situations is completely different. You can read other people just by looking at how they walk and carry themselves. I don't want to go deep on explaining, but you have no idea what is possible. Imagine being on psychedelics, but being sober ALL DAY, from the moment you wake up to the moment you fall asleep.

There are 2 kinds of worry: useless and useful worry.
Useful worry is when there is actions you can take that will change the outcome of events, like studying for an exam.
Useless worry is when there is no reasonable action you can take to change the outcome. For example, worrying about the exam on the day of the exam. This useless worrying needs to be eliminated by just stopping thinking about that topic.
Identify whether the topics you're worrying about are under your influence or not.
By stopping thinking about that subject.
Notice when you are thinking about that subject and just stop yourself.
Yes, it is helpful to reflect on your accomplishments.
But the very serious kind of confidence comes from way more experience, to the point where you don't even need to think about it any more.
For example, notice how confident you are with tying your shoelaces or with walking. You don't even doubt your ability to do these things. Because you are so experienced in them.
Your experience with girls is still very low. Which is why you are insecure about it. You have a lot of experience with exams, but a PhD is a pretty unique task so stress and doubt is expected there. Not everyone is suited to earn a PhD.

At your stage of development grinding might be the right thing, for a time.
However, eventually you'll realize that no matter how hard you grind and how many material goals you complete, you will be no more happy or satisfied than you are now. Even less satisfied because now the illusion of goals making you happy will be shattered.
If you want real progress you need to work on changing your internal relationship to reality. That's the only thing that will change your condition.
Of course if you are just looking to break free of wage slavery, hustle culture has its purpose. But once you are free of wage slavery you will still be exactly the same slave of your mind that you are today.
I've spent so many years achieving goals that today the prospect of pursuing a material goal hardly interests me. My only goal now is higher consciousness of God. But it took me 10-20 years of work to get here.