LifeLife

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Posts posted by LifeLife

  1. Posted

    @PetarKa Well the ideal is to quit porn entirely. Some people continue to masturbate and just quit porn, each to their own.  The nofap forums and pages refer to quitting porn and masturbation entirely as "hardcore mode, which includes not fantasising, not looking at any pictures that might tempt you, not masturbating and not looking at porn. And then there's normal mode which is just quitting porn. My advice, if your just starting, probably just try to remove porn at your own pace that suits you but if you want to experience the full reboot effects eventually I advice going to the hardcore mode - but it takes some experience with saying no to your addiction to completely conquer it. Keep doing what your doing, watch some videos on the topic and youll get a general idea. There's a lot of videos and forums on this topic. Just type in no fap in google or youtube and youll be sweet ;)

  2. Posted · Edited by LifeLife

    @Leo Gura I definitely don't think we should demonise others, but I also I do think we all can control our sexual urges, with practice. From my experience from masturbating 3 times a day, now I don't find any problem going for weeks on end with out porn. 

    The demonising aspect of no fap in my opinion is the perfectionistic baby of a tightly set belief that porn is bad. I think fuck that, saying completely No to porn is not the answer, however with practice and slowly pushing yourself you will develop the control to manage cravings and gain control over your sexual urges but you can't do that when your wanking a couple times a week. You need experience pushing through the cravings gradually.

    Also (I don't know this personally) but from what I've heard a lot of people say that after a long time with no fap you don't even get the cravings or urges anymore, your sexual performance increases a lot, and your ability to connect with others is heightened aswell. They still have sex but they don't feel the need to masturbate and their quality of life is balanced and much better. But that's after a lot of experience.
     

    [Edit: and to add onto managing your cravings; pushing your potential forces guys to fix their lifestyle and thoughts. So its kind of a double sides coin. On one side you can authentically grow out the addiction through inner work and on the other you can handle the addiction which forces you to develop the aspects of your life around it that cause you to depend on sexual cravings. But gradually!. the guys who want to quit for life straight away are the ones who bash themselves and have a perfectionist attitude to no fap.. I condone practice and gradually abstaining for longer and longer periods without porn and fixing the areas of your life that cause you depend on sex and encounter feelings of escapism. I don't think that's bad. ]

     

  6. Posted

    @Wormon Blatburm I completely empathise with your situation. And sincerely if you need someone to talk to, hit me up. But you came on this thread with a unique circumstance. Your on medication, you have a number of problems and tried to change other peoples ideas and experience, claiming the effects of no fap when your experience with the matter is insufficient and unique.

     

    Someone could have benefited from this thread but the ungrounded skepticisim you brought with your narrow scope of vision into this topic might have swayed them away. Just be more considerate, there are other people with crippling anxieties coming on these forums to improve their life.

     

     

     

  7. Posted · Edited by LifeLife

    @Wormon Blatburm I don't know who is spreading those ideas but no one on this topic has said that so yeah there's not much to say there but anyway I cleared that up :)  And you simply cannot judge no fap from one 20 day streak a year ago haha its like going to the gym for a few months and then giving up saying that gym doesn't instantly give you muscles. It takes time for gains to come through, as well as persistence. Likewise I would give nofap 90 days atleast without porn or masturbation before you make an assessment and try and convince others to conform to your own opinions when you clearly dont have sufficient experience to back up your reasons. How do you have more authority to speak over this matte then someone who has gone for a year without porn. You don't. You have no idea nor can you comprehend their experience.

    Even then you would only be able to speak on behalf of the 90 day challenge from YOUR experience. But atleast then you can make an assessment. If my longest streak was 20 days I would tell everyone to not waste their time. Within 20 days change abit but the long term benefits dont start to creep in for another month.But because I've experienced it longer I can speak of the benefits based off my experience.

     

  8. Posted · Edited by LifeLife

    @Wormon Blatburm First off let me just start off by saying that up until recently after YEARS of self development and investigation into my belief systems i went through all that. All my life i had one friend literally, no dad, spent years upon years isolated un-nutured and developed that crippling social anxiety where I couldn't look at my parents in the eye let alone talk to them without a nervous freakout. I was afraid to leave the house literally, had agoraphobia look it up. Depression aswell.. I've been there. I know what you mean, not many people would i can understand that.

    But you can get out of that and no fap can aid that process. I NEVER said it's a magic pill that cures social anxiety. Let's get that straight. No one is saying that. But to a commoner it has tremendous benefits. For you like myself i had to tackle a multitude of complex beleifs systems that were so tricky and complicated to be able to interact and socialise with someone. But if i was still addicted to pornography I would have never been having this conversation let alone experiencing the quality of life I am experiencing aswell.

    However, other things that played a MORE important role included; experience, meditation, books on psychology, going out of my comfort zone repeatedly spending days on end trying to learn how to socialise. Social anxiety disorder is really complex I don't think ANYONE completely understands it neurologically at this moment because of all the factors that affect it.

  9. Posted

    @Wormon Blatburm

    14 minutes ago, Wormon Blatburm said:

    @IndependantKouhai Don't say that, nofap is NOT proven to remove social anxiety (assuming you're talking about the anxiety disorder) if it's proven,  post a scientific study, which you won't because it doesn't exist!

    Please stop spreading this nonsense that it cures an anxiety disorder because many people including myself suffer from this and you're giveing them a false sense of hope.

    Maybe it makes you less depressed, maybe that can be proven scientifically , but until it is don't go around preaching that it can cure a serious mental health problem, because it will stop people from getting the proper help

    http://yourbrainonporn.com/brain-scan-studies-porn-users 

    And there are tonnes of videos on YouTube where people say they experience a significantly decreased amount of general anxiety and social anxiety. Are you going to neglect subjective feedback and evidence like hundreds of videos and forum threads across the internet where guys have reported decreased anxiety? I myself can tell you I notice a significant increase in anxiety after I masturbate 'to porn' . I've experimented on many occasions to see whether it was placebo or not, having gone no fap for months to quit to see what effects it had. AND they're real alright haha. But you probably need a study to believe me.

  10. Posted

    @Spacious I really want to go on a vegan diet! How long have you been on one for? Is it compatible with gym? Do you have any deficiencies? Where do you get your recipes? What books on veganism would you recommend ?! haha

    I have experimented with green foods replacements and i will testify they definitely make you feel so much clearer and more energy. Just don't know how to create a vegan diet

  11. Posted

    @IndependantKouhai I love your contribution to these threads!! Thankyou haha and also dw about that. My advice jump in a warm shower and turn it on cold after your done cleaning yourself etc. It's still exhilarating and it gets you in on days where your willpower is low, good method to trick the brain. And then you just increase the time you stay under the cold, over time youll be taking chilly showers like nothing guaranteed ;) 

  13. Posted · Edited by LifeLife

    @Wormon Blatburm  I see where your coming from and ofcourse nothing is a magic pill in this life. Meditating is not a magic pill, taking cold showers, yoga, exercise... nofap.. all these areas influence the body and brain chemistry of the individual for the better but focusing on one alone is not going radically alter your life in ALL areas of life. However, in my opinion, and I think we're on the same page, is that self actualisation is about increasing the quality of our lives in ALL areas of life and not just one.

    THAT BEING SAID.

    This is a fact. That when you solve one area, what you gain from that area usually spills over to others. Likewise with pornography and its effects on sexual performance, quitting the addiction (meaning reducing the exposure to overstimulating material) definitely has an impact on motivation levels, general sense of well being, to some like someone commented on this thread it might mean they regain certainty over their sexuality again and confidence from the increase levels of testosterone. There are so many more neurological benefits from quitting addictions not just pornography and what it has on the brain that definitely it would be silly to say here that it doesn't have an affect on the individuals sense of well being and their ability to tackle other areas of life.

     

    But yeah I don't think we need to argue here. I agree with your point. Attracting a woman is much more complex then quitting porn, all those qualities you listed should be taken into an account. But my point is that excess use of pornography is  just an uneccesary impediment that causes a spillage of a lot of negative side effects with don't need to be included in ones life. Hopefully we can agree I'm not the type to want to militantly convince others I just wrote this topic to enlighten others and myself as well as talk about our experiences.

     

     

     

     

     

  14. Posted

    @Flo Hey I been there too, there's no shame in the neurological effects on behavioural addictions. It's only when we are aware of this addiction can we begin to understand the situation and claim responsibility but even then its a growing process. Don't beat yourself up though, I've read online people have done some crazy shit during their search for novelty, in pornuse and reality. Seriously, I've read some fucked up stories hahaha

  17. Posted

    @Sick Boy Yeah dude I feel ya..  ESPECIALLY in the first week its so tough. Keep trying, you can only improve. Even if you relapse, keep learning how you found a way to relapse each time and then from there you can catch the temptations in the early stages. The addiction IS REAL. I myself have been trying to quit since the start of this year as well and I'm back on my first week so we are literally in the same boat haha!

    Each to their own however and I might make a no fap thread in a different forum section, but what I've noticed the fap addiction cycle usually follows this scheme.

    1. Complication
                    - (boredom, exhaustion, depression, anxiety > escapism )

    2. Temptation 
                - Cravings (Wishful cravings [playing with fire fantasising for the juicing effect it gives], desire cravings [reminiscing about things/scenarios          you  wish you could have] and habitual cravings [those random urges/spontaneous feelings of horniness]

    3. Negotiation
                 - Impaired rationalisations ( creating rationalisations, thinking you can watch porn in 'controlled' way, unconsciously giving in to your urges in small bite sized chunks
                 - Bargaining with your addiction

    4. Escalation

                - Unconsciously complying more and more to your urges.
                - The snow ball effect that usually leads to relapse

    5. Ejaculation

                - Fully blown relapse :)

    So that's the scheme I've come up with after a year of no fap lol the aim is to come up with preventative and immediate measures that suit you to cut off or prevent any of those 4 pillars leading up to the relapse. Those you create from experience, what works. Generally when you fix the first one you'll probably grow a lot in your day to day lifestyle, productivity and happiness if your strategically make the right preventative measures. And from what I sounds like you've got a way to deal with the 2nd pillar I think you might need to reflect on the third one though from what it sounds. But anyway learn from your mistakes and keep making an effort to uphold that model and you will eventually have a boss strategy to tackle your porn addiction, anyway this is just what I've learnt so far :) keep commenting if you want we can message each other to anonymously support each other on the journey always happy to help. :) 

     
            
                
     

  19. Posted

    Yo diggidy dawgs.  I'm going to make a slight guess that 99% of males watch porn and with high-speed internet and the increased variety and access to kids of all ages people are having more and more access to porn. AND it feel cool but what are the effects it has on the brain?

    If you can't be bothered to read; check this video out: Its SOOO insightful and interesting and a fun watch. BUT beware it will reveal a lot about porn use and its effects. Don't watch if you don't want to be shocked. But if your a fearless mother-$% then go for it.

    The Great porn experiment Tedx

    For those of you who DO want to read ill cut it short.

    Why the hell would you want to give up porn?

    Well this is just my summary of the matter and I wish Leo would do a video of this he could probably destroy this subject. But quitting porn is a must if you want to self-actualise to your fullest potential somewhere down the line. For some its a first priority.

    Porn is one of the fastest growing industries in the world. Did you know that besides UFOs, porn is the most googled topic on the internet? But why such the fascination. Well since the introduction of high-speed internet there has been a huge increase in the number of porn use. Men are starting to look at porn at much younger age and for some it has become a serious addiction. Plus now that virtual reality porn is an up and coming market y'all better fucking prepare yo dicks because we are entering a new age.

    So where I am I heading with this? How is porn a problem?

    Have you ever tried no fap febuary? I know when I was in high school not too long ago me and the boys use to joke around all the time about trying to quit fapping for a whole month. It was notoriously known as a challenge and a half and going to an all boys high school I had a lot of experience watching people crash and burn. I never met one guy who actually completed the challenge. And most guys would defend their porn use, deny its a problem and okay... its not life and death but fuck it is melting your brain away and you don't even notice. If you had to make it relatable, porn use has been defined as the new age tobacco.

    Why is porn use so bad?

    Porn is addictive. Straight, front and centre period. The way porn works is that your primitive brain at a certain age begins to develop urges to root/fuck/bang/makelove/makesomecoco whatever your want to call it, but to cut it short you start to get horny. Your brain starts to look for solutions and then you fall onto porn. You start looking at porn and before you know it your sitting at home 2 hours a day running home from school to chuck one out. Graphic I know but hold on.

    You start looking at porn and your brain is so excited. You hit the jackpot. Your brain doesn't know its looking at a screen it thinks its jumped on the fun bus. And here is where the problem lies. Over time you become accustomed to it, it looses that excitement and you start looking for stronger and more dirtier versions of porn. You might be able to relate if you've ever felt weird or guilty after busting a load. Not to mention the constant novelty. Since every time you look at porn you are destroying dopamine receptors (the receptors responsible for reward chemicals, feelings of accomplishment) in the brain from the overstimulus of porn you constantly need stronger and newer versions to stimulate your brain again. So that kid who google searched boobies is now looking at lesbian, milf and other categories to satisfy his cravings. And it can get worse then that.

    It all seems like fun. However behind the scenes this is slowly desensitising your brain to women, your constantly looking at women been objectified for the purpose of pleasure and your brain begins to associate that image with pleasure. Tell me, guy or girl, fantasize a kinky scenario. Tell me if it minds you of porn. Or do you picture the emotional build up, the conversations you had. Essentially these temptations and pleasures are unrealistic and give you a terrible perception. You start looking for stronger and stronger versions of porn and because your dopamine receptors responsible for the reward system are constantly being overstimulated you find it harder and harder to be motivated through out life. You become accustomed to instant gratification and unrealistic representations of attraction. On top of that porn causes anxiety, depression, brain fog and puts you at a great disadvantage to sticking to long-term goals.

    LUCKILY. If you quit porn use you can reverse these processes thank god. However its an addiction so from there I will refer you to the video I linked plus a couple of websites and support groups that will be able to help.

    http://www.yourbrainonporn.com/ 

     > includes a load of studies if that's what your looking for

    https://www.reddit.com/r/NoFap/

    > the underground community revealing the mysterious benefits of quitting porn

    https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php

    > no fap website

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

  20. Posted

    Yo dawgs here are a list of reasons you should be taking cold showers.

    Increases Alertness. ...

    Refines Hair and Skin. ...

    Improves Immunity and Circulation. ...

    Stimulates Weight Loss. ...

    Speeds Up Muscle Soreness and Recovery. ...

    Eases Stress. ...

    Relieves Depression.

    Take a hot/warm shower each day for aslong as you like and follow it up with 30 seconds of a cold one each day. Progress for longer periods of time and you will get better and better (your veins will become more flexible to the change in temperatures ).  Definitely a key habit to self actualisation. Trust me if your not onto this you will see a huge increase in productivity with this simple habit. Paeeeece.

     

  21. Posted

    I've established a pretty good set of morning rituals that I apply for each day and I thought I would share it as it might give people insights because we're all about self actualising and all though I feel like 20% is knowledge the important 80% is the practices and habits you have through out your day. Those as well as increasingly jumping out of your comfort zone, going through the emotional labour is what's gonna beast you.

    Sleep 8  pm
    Wake up 4 am
    Gratitude journal
    * Drink water
    4:00 - 5:00 am Meditate 1 hour
    5:00 - 5:30 am Sentence Completions    ( 6 pillars of self esteem- by Nathanial Brandan)

    5:30 - 6:00 Wim hof Breathing Method                                                                                                                  *continue to stay hydrated throughout the day*
    6:00- 6:20 am Cold Showers
    6:20 - 6:30 am Push up affirmations
    6:30 - 7:00 am Breakfast
                    > 3 eggs, tomato, mushroom, avocado, oatmeal, chia seeds, milk                                                               *eat a handful of nuts throughout the day*
                   > bowl of berries; strawberry, banana, blue berry w/whipped cream
    7:00 - 7:30 Clean House
                    > clothes, dishes, floors, rooms, toilets, outside
    7:30 - 8:00 Gym               
                    > Basketball                       
                    > post workout shake: pea protein                                                                                                           
    8:30 - 8:45 am Feed dogs
    8:45 - 9:30 am Read

    And then from then on its pretty much whatever I want/need to do. I normally just follow off a todo list which I set at the end of the nights, which are also prioritized into which I need to get done first. On top of that I find that getting the biggest things out of the way first is crucial as fuck. The longer you procrastinate something the worse it is. Suffer the initial emotional labour of doing the action and then your emotions and energy will follow. 

     

    Then in the night.

    Meditate another hour
    Write the todo list for the next day
    Spend 5 minutes visualising what you are going to do

    and nap time  :)

    Write down your morning rituals as well so others can see. And we can all learn from each other :)

     

  24. Posted

    Anyone here with a lot of experience with creating NEW radical change  can enlighten me if emotional labour continues to always be scrutinizingly painful or if it subsides with experience? Like do you ever reach a point where you just used to it and even if you realise you've set a new comfort zone its not scrutinizing to jump out of it? I'm very curious.

  25. Posted

    @Uncover EQ is social skills pre much. everyone has some degree of emotional intelligence unless your brain dead autistic, but the people with the most emotional intelligence are the more social people who typically tend to thrive in other areas of life aswell. a.k.a workplace situations, finance, relationships everything haha