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About mivafofa

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  1. married couple I found on utube last year
  2. 2. This forum is highly misogynistic and lacks of empathy. There's a lot of aggressive pushing and stepping over. I remember when there was a thread once created to understand women and asking their experiences. When women started sharing, several men chastisized them for their experience and invalidated them because they were too caught up protecting their gender ego. The situation looked hopeless. Lack of empathy and understanding
  3. @Knowledge Hoarder Edit: Ok I finally read your post. Clearly you got invested in some stand alone debate. Making assumptions about me then debating these assumptions. You're so defensive and easily triggered it's almost funny to watch
  4. You have a dick and you still talk shit
  5. Honestly I think you should just do as you personally prefer as a starter, then if your gf has different liking, you can choose to adapt. Preferences will always differ among women. There's no One style fit ALL. It's like asking what's the best food to eat if you have a gf. As long as you're well kept and hygienic.
  6. I didn't notice.. I don't remember having issue with significant changes in expression or states... I could be wrong but no one ever point it out to me if I did. I have a classmate who has bipolar type2. She gets easily irritated in ways I don't understand... Her states and moods can vary drastically in short amount of time much to my surprise. She's a fun person but I kinda doubt I have this honestly I can't relate... and I don't get easily irritated. I get easily bored. I mean.. I didn't feel there was anything not explaining in the full picture. ADHD was self-explanatory already all my symptoms correlated. For evaluation, I'm currently on the waiting list to see the professional to get officially diagnosed. You're the 2nd person here suggesting it might be bipolar so I'll def ask.
  7. @BipolarGrowth omg that is so wholesome!! :'( Thank you so much for your analyzation, insight, reassurance, and experience and story. this is so precious. I know it's great to have a brain different from the norm.. but when the research says it's because the left frontal lobe is underdeveloped.... I just had hard time trying to not feel like a defect, and being satisfied about being difference after all. All of sudden I remembered all these chaotic flaws that were obstructing all my life which revealed to be ADHD, and I felt limited and deficient... Edit: Where I felt gifted in life was my ability to think way outside the box (assuming the box is how NTs usually think), which always made me more daring and more creative than average people. Being very versatile as well, and having generally great proficiency in whatever I'm interested into (which is probably caused by the hyperfocus)
  8. That's so true.. and I absolutely LOVE my connection with male friends so much when it works! (in the beginning..) Guy friends tend to be more direct, chill, laid back, non-judgmental, low-maintenance & hilarious. I feel so great around them! .. while it lasts
  9. I seriously WISH to believe it's also possible from a male perspective to see us as friends... but I've lost just too many guy friends because they couldn't see us the same way I did. Especially having a guy best friend, it's almost impossible, always short lived. They always eventually want more or try to touch you. The only men that stayed friends long term were either gay or men already in a committed relationship.
  10. 1. While looking for a martial art school in China, I came upon Beijing Sport University which is a well known facility. I contacted them through a certain website and they offered a place for me to join with a high cost. I was so desperate to leave Henan at the time I jumped on the train. Long story short, the people I contacted were actually some kind of agent who pretended to represent the school, charged me twice as much as the real cost of the school, and in fact has NOTHING to do with the school... they were just some 3rd party scammer. This scam costed me around 5000$CAD 2. Looking for an apartment. Had to move the very same week. Urgent, low in funds (the perfect formula state of mind to get scammed). Dude pretended to be out of town, and will come in person with the key in exchange of the Answer to the Question on eTransfer. He sent a confirmation site to me where I stupidly confirmed my Answer there. This scam costed me 1400$ CAD 3. I sent 40$CAD for deposit for a bike. The girl decided to sell it to someone else, refused to give me back my 40$ then blocked me. These instances costed me money, but it especially costed a lot of stress and anxiety. No matter what was the amount, low or high, the feeling of getting cheated felt terrible.
  11. lol I'm the same as you. I'm doing Digital arts, 2D, 3D, montage, VFX, acting, martial arts, drumming, while trying to learn piano, guitar, tricking, parkour, mandarin, japanese & dancing. I'm planning to eventually incorporate some flow painting, gymnastic and maybe some ballet..... so yeah. lol. Maybe you're ADHD like me You can choose to focus in 1 thing at a time, but if you're like me and can't wait to tackle all at the same time it's also possible. If you have the discipline you can create yourself a schedule to dedicate one day for this, one day for that. if not day, it can be hours.
  12. Lol it's so funny because the first thing most people would assume is that I'm just about to be corrupted or permanently regressed, open some Pandora box or some shit that I cannot revert back, when truthfully this study can only make me more whole as a person. If anything, it'll finally help me understand and detect precisely what people do to me and eloquently call them out so I can protect myself better. @vizual it's the type of advice I always give to others but that I cannot manage to preach myself haha damnit.. @Tangerinedream Yes well pointed out for the lack of masculine traits. I don't see why it's "not Stage Red per se" however. Stage red, orange and yellow are known to be male driven energy. Stage Red is dominantly masculine. I created a shadow of Stage Red which involves some masculine traits. There are several masculine traits in stage Orange and some other stages as well but none of them are posing a problem at the moment like Red does. I also grew up in a Stage Red environment. You'd think it'd make me grow a pair, some claws and teeth... But instead I went aaall the other end of the spectrum. For my survival, I had to make myself small, nearly invisible and let myself be taken advantaged of. Love the parent who hurt me, empathize and forgive. It's so ingrained in me that I literally care about the wellbeing of others at the cost of myself. The more they're hurting me, the more I try give more love because I know that's what they're ultimately lacking. And people likes that cuz it benefits them. Good for them that I don't know how to retaliate or defend myself. All I know is to send love, forgiveness and compassion. People wants me to stay pure. But this doesn't benefits ME. Without thorns I can't bloom my rose. This is too passive and easy for me to do. @BlueOak Interesting.. Thank you. I'll give it a try. It's true by comfort zone I'd usually surround myself around people who I can get along, therefore I don't face confrontation. @ValiantSalvatore hum that's very thought-provoking... thanks. This seems like a challenging practice. glad to see I'm not the only one doing Stage Red shadow work @Adam M funny you mention I literally ordered some last night
  13. @kai0 yeah I agree... I guess to learn the skill of drastic actions less thinking, is to start by taking actions lol.. Jesus f christ!! i never knew there were books about exactly that. I looked through some of them quickly, this is legit! I read the chapter titles and they're scaring me already ngl, cuz I've literally programmed myself to do the exact opposite of what it's advocating. I just bought the 48 laws of Power and The Prince by Machiavelli audiobooks as a starter. thx dude I'm both scared and feeling hopeful to tackle this
  14. 1. For a forum about consciousness, it's ironically the most egocentric forum I've came about. Nobody listens to one another. Just a bunch of people ridiculizing other people's POV, using spiritual consciousness to asserts one's superiority. Debating like monkeys. And I see myself falling into trap if I stay here too long. For a forum about high consciousness, I expected the opposite. Sometimes it feels like a zoo.