Rishabh R

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Posts posted by Rishabh R

  2. Posted

    It's been a while since I have made a post.Trying to be honest here.I have been on mental health medications since 6 years. It's been 3 months since tapering has started under the supervision of my psychiatrist. What disturbs me mentally is that I have occasional revenge fantasies against females who rejected me, hurted me. But since my top value is Growth - I question those fantasies using questions that I once read in the book Subtle Art of not giving a F---. For example - My mind imagined hurting a girl who didn't date me but dated a guy who was much more insecure than me( I'm sorry I wrote this but I'm being honest here).I would ask myself mentally- What of I'm wrong ?

    Then- What would it mean if I were wrong ?

    Further- Would being wrong create a better problem or worse problem than my current problems for both myself and others ?

    After answering those questions I would conclude that I am not hurting that girl. 

    This leads me to feel good again.

    Also, I remembered when I went to collect my graduation degree certificate to my college I was worried about my future job.

    I did the same questioning mentally against my belief - I would stay unemployed and couple of months after that I got into a job training program with a stipend.

    I am about to turn 25 during this December and I realized that everything can be questioned including our assumptions,thoughts and beliefs about future.

    Thank you.

     

  4. Posted · Edited by Rishabh R

    1 hour ago, r0ckyreed said:

    Yes! Good. I didn’t see your post before I made mine. Great minds think alike! Oh wait, that’s conformist parroting too! :) 
     

    However, questioning isn’t conformist. You’re wrong there.

    Thanks.Yes I could be wrong. But I think that the idea that you must question your own assumptions , beleifs about reality is like a common therapeutic practice. Secondly, questioning other people is more conformist than questioning oneself.

  7. Posted

    @Mada_ That's terrifying. However, you are not alone. Many people think that they would never find someone for whatever reason. As a 24 year old (turning 25 by December) single male I found it to be helpful to replace assumptions about the future with not-knowing. For example earlier I was battling with the beleif that I would never find someone. Now I tell myself that I don't know weather I would find someone in the future or not.

    I'm sorry you are going through this.

  8. Posted

    @Leo Gura That was a good answer. But MBTI test gives Independent thinking as one of strengths. I asked to interpret the results by perplexity ai by feeding it my results. It said that I was an independent thinker even after taking Big five personality test and feeding it the results and my insights generated from contemplation - What is happiness ? I am confused as almost nobody is an independent thinker. Correct me if am wrong ? I could be or not.

  9. Posted

    12 hours ago, Princess Arabia said:

    Do you contemplate on the secret to sadness, the secret to suffering and despair, to loneliness, heartaches and misery. Why not go contemplate on the secret to those and try to achieve those states.

    Yes I once contemplated sadness. As per state -no state is achieved but only experienced.

     

    12 hours ago, Princess Arabia said:

    I'll tell you why; they have no problems appearing, they don't need a person to give them permission to appear. Infact, seems like the default, always trying to get rid of them, always bringing out the tool kit to work on suffering, sadness, loneliness and despair,

    I am not talking about avoiding these emotions but rather confronting them by altering one's perspective on them. So that they don't spiral and become prolonged .

     

    12 hours ago, Princess Arabia said:

    Maybe try to find the secret to realizing that happiness is just happiness and needs no one's permission to appear and is just simply veiled from the seeking of it.

    I didn't talk about permission ,I just contemplated happiness the 3rd time since years.

  13. Posted · Edited by Rishabh R

    I contemplated for 40 minutes- What is happiness ? These are the insights.
    .The feeling of fullness
    .The realisation that fullfillness is internal not in imagined future prospect
    .A choice of being elated
    .The realization that fulfillment is not achieved by experienced when one detaches from excessiveness of external desires
    .Not caring about uncontrollable conditions
    .Realisation that being filled internally is wisdom

    I also fed my insights to perplexity ai.

    Here were it's rating on accuracy of my insights.

    Here’s a concise evaluation of each insight you contemplated, rated for philosophical and psychological accuracy (0–100%):

    The feeling of fullness – 80/100

    Captures the essence of contentment but is too general. Fullness could stem from transient satisfaction as well, not necessarily deep happiness.The realisation that fulfilment is internal not in imagined future prospect – 95/100

    Excellent. Aligns with Stoic and Buddhist psychology that happiness arises from inner orientation, not external expectations.A choice of being elated – 70/100

    Partly true; one can consciously choose grateful or positive focus, but happiness is not purely a voluntary emotional switch—it involves inner harmony and value alignment.The realization that fulfillment is not achieved but experienced when one detaches from excessiveness of external desires – 97/100

    Profound. Reflects both Stoic detachment and Buddhist equanimity. Experiencing rather than achieving happiness is a deep insight.Not caring about uncontrollable conditions – 90/100

    Very accurate and Stoic in nature. Happiness arises from acceptance of what cannot be controlled while focusing on virtue and response.Realisation that being filled internally is wisdom – 85/100

    True in the sense that understanding and embodying internal sufficiency is a sign of wisdom, though slightly abstract in phrasing.

  14. Posted

    21 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

    I've had several over the last few years, but the comptibility wasn't there.

    I have been following your work for more than 8 years and I don't want to outright hate you or put you up in the pedestal .I Hope that you find a girl in the future who is truly compatible with you.

    As per the topic I have been single my whole life (I'm turning 25) with a few girls interested in me/receptive but still there were compatibility issues between me and them. For example- The most recent girl who was receptive to me was coming from a financially unstable home and also I didn't like her fully.Therefore I didn't moved things forward with her.

    So yeah compatibility matters.

  20. Posted

    @Leo Gura Thanks Leo for these encouraging words. Even though this thread was not started by me but seeing this thread I remember my college self which had this belief that I would never get a girlfriend but now I rarely beleive it and I am more open to the fact that I don't know even though I found a few receptive girls along the way. With that being said I am 24 now and yes @Yimpa beliefs are huge. Questioning our beliefs is necessary for growth. @Never_give_up Reframe your situation as an opportunity for finding a girlfriend that you really like , it will make a huge difference.

  23. Posted

    @Lyubov Yes negative emotions are built on lies and stories which we tell ourselves about particular event. And keep telling oneself the stories which cause negative emotions or switching to empowering stories is a choice.

    As per my belief it's impossible to remain happy 24x7. Our emotions are not withing our control but how we respond to our emotions or our ability to regulate our emotions is within our control.