Bob Seeker

@WeCome1 Not sure. Just trying to feel better

I took my first big dose of shrooms 1 month ago. On and off I’ve been having less interest in talking with people and laughing at their jokes. I enjoy my own sense of humor less too. The things others say can seem so useless to me, like pure blabbermouthery. I visited my kooky relatives yesterday and I felt like I was sat at the lunch table at an insane asylum. It was overwhelming. I kept leaving the table in desperation. People noticed my distant attitude. Recently when I’m going to sleep my closed eyes visuals are much more intense and can be trip like, and my dreams are more vivid. The other day I watched a series of auto-biographical YT videos of a guy who did DMT and it triggered psychosis in him and now a few years later he is full blown schizophrenic and living in pure constant hell and may have recently killed himself. The past few days it seems like my reality is getting looser and more open, and my sense of self a bit different and I’m understandably very scared, especially knowing there is nothing solid preventing me from going insane. I have been up at night with a ton of fear, and unable to be productive. Luckily I have had no waking delusions or hallucinations, but I’m still scared about the possibility of going schizophrenic or insane in the future. It is one of my worst fears.

You are the only one here. It is your creation, ultimately for you.

It is called Ancestors: The Humankind Odyssey. I never game but I love human evolution so I am prob gonna buy it.

I would use the dream board for Law of Attraction. The way it is taught on ActualityofBeing.com

Maybe take a break from psychedelics and allow yourself to simply enjoy life is it is in this moment. like I mean right now, take your focus if of the idea of being stuck or that there is anywhere you can get through struggling. Do you see that whether you believe you can get anywhere or not, life still boils down to simple practical decisions and simple beingness. if you don’t think of what your life will mean when you die, there is no problem. You are projecting meaning onto the meaninglessness. you are trying to get things. Maybe try something different?

What mistakes have you made? me: trying too hard to change myself after the trip and not allowing myself the space to process.

I've never experienced this before Was the biggest trip I've had, about 1/3 of penis envy shroom chocolate bar from a dispensary was a bad trip, got stuck in a loop of reliving my fake life over again for eternity only lasted about 1.5 hours afterward, 24 hour+ headache brain still not functioning like before, feel stupid. Anyone else deal with this? I want to keep taking psychedelics but I don't want brain damage. I will avoid shrooms and take other chems if they won't do this.

@NoSelfSelf @Carl-Richard dope. Will do.

I’ve watched Leo’s Spiral series and want to further my understanding. What would you recommend?

@LSD-Rumi This has been a major sticking point for me.

As soon as I’m around pretty girls, my growth is basically null. It is a low part in my development and no amount of meditation makes me mature around women. I become needy and I just want them to flirt with me, and to get attention. I tried pickup and it wasn’t for me. I need to find a healthier way to develop this low area of my life.

I used to be so shy about my name I would try to avoid telling it to people. This may have helped me avoid forming a strong identity note that you mention.

It would be cool to see why Leo’s brain is so sensitive to things like weed and other psychedelics. There’s gotta be something interesting going on in there.

I created Bentinho to know you can be immature even when you’re super conscious. Ralston didn’t know he could use a toaster until he was 18 or something. The thought never occurred to him. maybe he just misses some things? that or he’s pretending/has some agenda.