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@Zenterus Yes man I am a little emotionally invested because after all I've never really gone dating. It's kinda a first for me and it's probably just the nerves. Ok, yes I'll lead her around even if I don't know the area. I'll do my research once I know exactly where she's staying at and find like something nearby. Ok cool, so I'll find like 5-10 things to talk about and interesting questions. Maybe I'll use help from chatgpt. And yes, while talking to her I'll go by this formula: Question -> response to her answer (tease, joke) -> I'll give my take. Obviously I won't try to force a joke every time. But this is actually very witty of you to say. Like I don't have the skill to be that witty. It honestly seems like it just comes to observation and imaginative association. You seem good at it. Maybe a matter of practice though. Maybe I should let go a bit huh... Ok yes, regarding flirtation it seems like a more intense version of being playful. The examples you gave seem like they require even more wittiness. I don't think I'm hopeless though because maybe it's just a matter of practice. In fact, as I was writing this comment I was stopped by a girl in the hostel and we started talking. It was quite obvious she was on something, but I still wanted to take the opportunity to practice some stuff. Made assumptions on her like "you look Asian, but also not really" and then country guessed her saying what she's definitely not. Made sure to make eye contact as I was talking with her. After that when she was saying something sometimes I played off of and just be entertaining and confusing. But the point is that I felt like it was just practice that is needed. But I'm glad you wrote it probably isn't that necessary. The thing though is that on her profile she writes "looking for long term, open to short term" whereas I am the opposite, so we'll see if it'll really translate to her helping in with the flirtation. Yes, I've learned that when someone talks to me I give them eye contact, but when I talk then I'm free to look wherever and then here and there at the person. The reason for eye contact while the other is talking is to show you are listening and engaged. The reason to make eye contact every here and then while talking is because that while thinking the eyes naturally wander and it's natural and then here and there check in that the person is listening. But when it comes to women, I'm a little confused how to act when I talk to her. This is actually genius haha like if she says yes then it just becomes funny 😂. But honestly, I how do I know when it's the right moment to kiss? Like does it follow a moment of long eye contact? When do I suggest it.

@Zenterus yo I might use it 😂. And like while you walk, do you hold hands? The thing is that on one hand I also don't want to make the girl feel awkward by not doing any move and not touching her at all.

And like how do you greet hello when starting the date? 😂

@Zenterus wish I could just voice message you since it became my normal way of explaining stuff haha. Basically I'm traveling now Thailand so I am just trying out tinder here, and I am lodging in hostels. But in any case, I take what you say and just make it relevant to me. My plan was that she'll be the one who kinda knows around and stuff but I'll be the one like "hey, let's go there. Looks nice". So yes, to keep leading by "bouncing" to different paths I guess. Maybe then I'll suggest "hey I kinda want to get a drink/tea" and then offer her as well (the whole instant date thing). You get what I'm saying. But I'll be honest man, 2 things are worrying me a little: 1. Keeping the conversation going. 2. Flirting and escalating. Like what do you mean by motion her to sit closer? I'm a little scared doing those moves, like the arm around her. This shows intimacy and bravery. Like, let's say I do this, then what do I do and say next? It's obvious I became more intimate with her that way.

Ok ok, quick update (you gotta hear it man @Zenterus ): I've somehow managed to secure a date on Tinder (well, we just moved it to Instagram). This will be my first date from tinder, in fact - my first online date. The only 2 dates I went to in my life were with girls I kinda knew already and years ago. Bottom line is that I don't really know how to date and what to do. I suggested we just meet to walk around a bit (not huge commitment and make it casual. I'm taking the idea of just walking around and "instant dating" it). Anyways, since it's gonna be in like the afternoon I don't know how to escalate with her. I don't know how escalating in a club is different from during daytime. What is acceptable and what is not. How do I know when to proceed and how? Thanks

@Looks What do you look out of writing to me all this? My goal here is to try to improve my ways with women and live with less fear and become more brave. If this somehow triggers you then please journal it out or create a separate thread expressing your frustration with women. 🙏🏻

@Looks You must have confused pronouns. Probably English isn't your first language. Umm, I'm not sure though

@Looks Sorry, but have you read what I wrote? I'm talking about the dude

@CARDOZZO Ok interesting videos. I like how they talk about the importance of it. Maybe I'll make it my goal to get an instant date after getting over the fear of approaching and having some conversation. They both seem like they know what they're doing but at first I got some weird vibes from the second video if it's staged. Later on it seemed pretty real, but like he's approach was so weird that it would be hard for me to imagine it working. Maybe it's just my fear speaking.

Ok I'll just pour it here before responding to other comments here. An update of today: So today in the late morning I decided to join 2 guys for a little excursion to a beach but basically just walking around for a bit and seeing some monkeys. I don't know if it was a mistake to go or not, because this one guy I was more friends with his problem is that he is ADHD and super extroverted just won't shut the fuck up talking about himself. So fricking draining, but for some reason I thought it might be a good idea and "always be open to offers because you don't know where they'll take you". So there this super high energy dude that I just couldn't match his energy, and the other guy we barely spoke. There were times when I was kinda left behind and then I was thinking about whether I should just do an approaching set. So here are some insights: Not to go with a group of extroverted people when intending to approach. The energy is just too much for me, and this in fact drains me and I just become like a follower dragging along them, and this brings down the mood for me to then do approaching. I must either do it alone, or with a buddy that has a vibe match like me. Manage mood - just brushing off the previous point. When feeling drained I don't feel the energy and general good feeling to even go and approach. Not saying I need to be super duper excited, but I just felt that this wasn't such a great experience. Maybe I should start fresh and do something to get myself in a good mood before doing a set and along the way something idk. So all in all I would say I did only 1 approach, for now at least. It's night right now, and I decided to relax and I might go and do a workout. There's a chance I might meet a 30 year old Thai from tinder that's about the "long term, open to short term" (she changed it just today from "wants to make new friends"). I'm not that into her to be honest but I kinda offered her to workout with me if she wants, but I might just ghost already idk, or at least inform her that I want to chill. Back to the approach. So I was at the beach after the guys kinda left me behind and I was slightly triggered but didn't let it stop me. I went to chill a bit in the sea, and then I saw this nice looking Indian mom trying to take selfies with the ocean. I then walked to her and offered if she wants me to take a photo of her. She said no and it's ok, but I just had to do something simple just to warm up a bit from this draining social experience with these guys I just had. Approach 1 - shortly after, I saw this Indian woman (I believe 40-50) walking and as she was starting to pass me I remember this moment - I just got out of my logical head and acted before I could start thinking and this is when I had no choice really but to flow with it. I asked her if she got her dress from Thailand because it's really nice. She told me that her mom (or grandma) made it for her. I then said it looks nice. She kinda nodded with a small smile and that's all it. Again, maybe my delivery isn't perfect, but I also might have some higher expectations of the response from the other person. I expect it to be more smiling, maybe a little laugh, maybe saying "oh, thank you! ☺️" - this is what I aim for but it doesn't happen that much. I'd like to mention another realization: It's very rare to just find a woman (especially a pretty one) just walking alone in a place with many people. Sometimes when I tried to find someone to approach they were usually with other girl friends, other guy friends, with her boyfriend (most cases here), or she is just fat/ugly and it's not worth approaching because I don't have something genuinely good to say. This is not an offensive statement. Many things which make a woman unattractive she can change. Sometimes she will not be a 10, but I believe every woman has the potential to be a 7 - good enough for most guys do drool over. Just a few words about that extroverted dude: So when I saw him at the hostel he was chilling outside with the other guy just talking to the two girls, and as he told me hello in excitement then the other two said hello as well. Then later there was this pretty woman that went to chill outside and the dude was just like "heyyyy, where do you come from? 😆" Just a confident extroverted dude. This dude, as much as I hated his constant talking about himself has some interesting stories to say. He said he has had already like 5 short term girlfriends in the span of 2 months. This dude is drugged the fuck up - doing so many things, he has some problems with the police back in England and owes 2,000,000 pound in debt and lost his phone and other problems, yet good experiences with locals. Basically a crazy dude. I am not like him, but it seems that his extroversion is really helping him though. But he was constantly drinking beer throughout the day and also now at night and smoking. So was the other guy, but he is less crazy. For the record, I haven't taken anything. I want to game sober.

@CARDOZZO Ok, so I'll tell you what - I promise I'll try out this kind of adventurous move maybe after I get a little more experience 😅

@Leo Gura Important is relative to the current stage I'm at. What's important for me now is to just approach them and then maybe ask a question (or just very light conversion). Of course also holding a conversation is important (might be like 80% of the time what we do, so yes), but then I could say that doing moves on her is more important than conversation.

https://www.actualized.org/insights/adventures-in-vegas-part-4 Love seeing that series again 😂. I think most of the series just sums up to Leo going to clubs sober and alone to enjoy his time here and it kinda inspires me to do the same thing for new year's. I don't drink that often, but I still try to not really drink nowadays, probably since I've started this journey. Just like Leo said, to do it sober. All my approaches here have been done sober. I think quitting alcohol for the rest of my life is quite extreme. The only thing I'm willing to promise is whenever I am on a set then to do it sober. But when I'm off the set then I might as well enjoy myself a little bit every here and there.

@CARDOZZO You must be kidding me saying that and thinking it working well. The only way I could imagine it working out ok is if the delivery is very great + she has been giving you looks before. Honestly, have you ever done this yourself? Be honest man 😅

@Schizophonia Had to make sure you add in the humble quality 😉. Yes, I can relate, and at some point it really confused me but you gotta know what attracts the feminine bro. There can be intensity in the cold approach. Intensity = intensely attracted to her sexually. Don't know how it was for you, but personally when girls used to approach me in social situations I just didn't know what to do, and the anxiety and nervousness was probably sensed and then I used to feel like my value all of a sudden went down. That's why it's important for me to go on this journey now and practice the approaching and being good with women. I want to be smooth when they come at me with something, want to be confident speaking to them, all in all get better with them so that even if a girl does approach me in some social situation then I could be good at it. But of course I don't want to rely on that because in the cold approach domain it is me who'll have to do the first scary step, and also the step that will require me to become a better man.