Barbara

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Posts posted by Barbara

  3. Posted

    @tsuki Hey, thank you so much for the kind words and the lovely tone! However, I would like to talk a bit more about this. Once Sadguru said (and I find it accurate) that feelings always follow thoughts, they're just slower. So if you cultivate a thought, any thought really, eventually you will feel towards the thought. For example, as much as I love my boyfriend, I know I can go on the verge of ending the relationship, just if I, for a period of time, feed a bad thought about him. I know this sounds severe but I find it freeing since it's my choice to lead thoughts and actions that will maintain the relationship good and alive.
    Also, I've watched so much Derren Brown, and Mind field on youtube, that it's so clear that our subconscious is very susceptible to external influences, and our emotions and actions are enormously ruled by our subconscious.
    But are you talking from direct experience? If so, I would love to hear more about how you feel integrity by aligning your life with your feelings. 
    Much love  

  6. Posted

    Hey so, recently I feel like I can’t or shouldn’t trust my mind for making decisions, having opinions, or taking a position. I guess I’m stuck in a counterproductive relativism (?) is that a thing?
    About having opinions I understand how it’s like a good thing to not have the urge to have those, but I’m struggling to make practical decisions. For example, I’m in university, taking law but I don’t like it, or at least, I think I don’t… I can’t even no longer say if I like it or not, since our minds are so malleable and under great external influence.

    Let’s say I don’t like it tho. I’m finishing it next year and I want to find something to do. I would like it to be aligned with my purpose (which btw, haven’t found yet), but can I even trust the content of my purpose?
    Does anyone identify with this? Am I looking the wrong way? I’m seriously confused. Any recommendations on books, podcasts, or videos on this topic (Leo's or other).

    Thank you for your attention 

  12. Posted

    I said fear and resistance, since it might be scary leaving those things. Of course I was assuming you were somehow attached to it, and you know, fear is really just attachment and division. Since I don't know you, I can be wrong and disregard what i said if thats the case. What I meant is that if you try deep visualization and experience bad feelings, that might not mean you're going the wrong way. The right way, can feel hard to. But that's a very personal insight, probably doesn't ever matter in here. 

    Well, I've never been near your situation, I really can't give you much advise on how to deal with a family such as yours. 
    When I did vipassana, I did not talk to my parents for 15 days, and left the country for 35. They don't like or understand why I do these retreats, and still see me like a little girl, since I'm also young, but you know, I feel like telling them the truth about what I do, even if they don't understand, they get used to it. 
     

    Best wishes 

  13. Posted

    15 hours ago, Raptorsin7 said:

    @Leo Nordin Hey i was in a similar situation to you while i was in law school. I didn't really enjoy it, and in my mind there were so many great options with dropping out that it didn't really matter whether i stay or go.

    I ended up dropping out, and i regret not staying and finishing the program. Even if you don't like it, finishing something you started is important I think, and especially with education. You will not look back in a few years and regret staying and finishing highschool, but there's a good chance you'll look back and regret dropping out.

    I was a lot like you tbh. I only wanted to listen to the opinions of "awakened" people, and i was so sure that what i was doing would work because it was all in the name of enlightenment and spirituality.

    I didn't listen to any of the warnings haha so if you're deadset on doing it then you probably won't listen either but I had to give my 2 cents given i just went through a similar situation.

    Hey! I'm in the same situation at the moment. I'm in law school, last year, but i dislike it so much. Just wanna leave and live in the middle of nature, alone. I'm completing the last year for now tho..

  14. Posted

    The ego has many ways of manifestation. You can perfectly be in a dissociation between what you think and how things would really go. To pursuit enlightenment you have to consider Maslow pyramid of needs. A homeless person will just be in constant struggle just to eat, have shelter, take a bath, be loved and love... For how bad things are they'll get much much worse if you have no house. Enlightenment while homeless is also really hard, since you will have no privacy, no time where you can just sit down, be in silence and meditate.  
    However, i remember Leo saying that there are some humans who can actually pursuit enlightenment without having basic needs fulfilled. You can perfectly be one of those humans. For that, test yourself. Here's what i suggest:
    -Talk to you family. Let them know where you are. Always speak truth with them. Don't exaggerate or understate your situation. Tell them all that you feel. See if you can come to a deal. Maybe you have some place else to stay in country side or maybe they can help you every month if you leave the house.
    -Make a retreat. In Sweden you can make Vipassana taught by S.N. Goenka. Search it. One of the retreats https://sobhana.dhamma.org/the-centre-in-sweden/. Vipassana is utterly powerful. You will be able to test your self fully. 
    -Try staying away one or two nights. Just in the streets. Be careful and safe. Go back home if needed.
    -Try deep visualization. Visualize your self in the situation of quitting school and leave your family. Fear and resistance will be apart of it. It doesn't mean you don't want to do it, only that there will be a lot of struggle associated with it. Know that. Learn your body language.

    And also, you are young, know that there's a lot to come. I'm not saying this so you postpone your decisions, but be humble about it. 
    I wish you the absolute best 
    Bárbara