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I want to share my mindblowing shroom experience from yesterday with you.
But let me start at the beginning.
I'm doing meditation, contemplation and personal improvement work for exactly one year now.
I know the date exactly, because it was end of January one year ago, when me and my long term ex-girlfriend broke up, and we both went individual ways. I never had such a hard time in my life. This is when I stumbled up on Leo. My depression went away after like two months and I started working on myself more and more, to make the best out of my life, because I realized a shit ton of mistakes and errors in my earlier relationship and with my personality.
I quickly realized that there is more behind this work, than just personal improvement. This changed, when I first saw Leo´s episode about Intelligence and consciousness. I experimented with psychedelics before, but never had existential experiences. Only the normal “magic” of mushrooms.
Over this forum I searched for people who were doing the same work and already had profound experiences in my city, and I really found a nice dude, who was interested to meet and speak about all that, even we never met before. He directly was open to my questions and answered all he could. We met two times since then.
He introduced me to Adyashanti and Rupert Spira, and also lent me a book, called “Materialism is Baloney” by Bernardo Kastrup, which opened my eyes about the absurdity of the materialistic dualistic worldview.
My work stagnated a bit when I wrote my master’s thesis and I started in a programming job in a relatively conscious company. After that big switch, when I was acclimated to my new life as full time developer, my meditation, contemplation, healthy eating and sports made good progress and this week I had the crazy feeling that the next time I will do shrooms, it will be different. I don't know why.
I planned the trip for Saturday afternoon, and ate a 3g dried cubensis omlette. The upcome was strong, I meditated into it, cuddled into my blanket, and listened to chill out atmospheric music, while listening to Leos episodes about Distraction and Self Deception, while deeply contemplating about where I am still doing this stuff. I had good insights. I was watching a documentary about fractals afterwards, not really listening to, just being amazed by all the different aspects of reality where they can be found.
I think it was two hours into the trip, when it suddenly made CLICK, and I just realized that connection between fractals, global “god” consciousness and everything. I can't logically recall why and how this worked, it just was present and out of nowhere 100% clear.
Somehow I was directly aware, that I am the absolute one and that I am every living and not living entity in this world at the same time, and that I'm just a part of everything, coming into being as “fractals” rising out of the one, going deeper and deeper into itself, until you cannot distinguish where they even started. I compared that to the form of my body and my consciousness ego, and layers of distraction and self-deception within it.
I realized the connection between all of that and my perspective of everything flipped "inside out". I was so aware of that, that is was somehow funny to imagine the world otherwise. It was so obvious, how could I have even missed that in the beginning?.
There was a direct connection between all the egos distractions, which generate more and more fractals in the realm of your own consciousness. I realized that the deeper you follow these fractals and the more you cling to ego created stuff, problems and worldviews, the less grounded in reality and “god” you are. I could think about the Oneness of everything and like “stepped” into pure wisdom and knowledge of everything. It was perfectly clear to me that death is an illusion. When I did this, I tried to connect the dots from Oneness with my personal ego problems and assumptions. Without thinking about it, it just was perfectly clear how to connect the dots, and I found the direct link to the One for every aspect of my life and things I misunderstood.
While this happened, I was lying in my bed, and the emotions were coming in waves. I was laughing in tears, getting heavy emotions of love for every being in this reality, then being totally flashed about everything that is happening. My body was shaking uncontrollable sometimes, I had one mind fuck after another, when I connected different parts of reality with the absolute. I felt a big release of energy. Everything felt so easy, smooth and totally without any effort. For some short timespans, the image of my own body in my mind (while looking at my self) dissapeared and I just was "invisible". I never had out of body experience before, but that is what I think happened there.
When I slowly came back to ordinary consciousness, I remembered Leos new live enlightenment video, and watched a bit of it while still tripping. Not only could I understand EVERYTHING he said, but I was directly conscious of all the aspects he explained.
The trip lasted longer as usual. The most of the magic of normal shroom trips was usually gone after 4 hours. This Trip lasted like 8 hours, and I still had great insights while not even peaking anymore.
I write this today after my Trip day, to not forget this mind-blowing experience, and to contemplate about it while writing. I hope you can help me to integrate some of these insights and take some information for your own.
Thanks for reading and feedback, have a lovely weekend.