Strangeloop

@WelcometoReality Trying to, but I guess someone or something is showing me various states which is cool, but the peace that comes with the blessings are really worth all the suffering beforehand.

Yesterday I had a date with a pretty girl. She looked nice and was very soothing to be around here. We sat in a car and talked. I touched her hand, she touched mine. We created intimacy which was very relaxing and therepeutic. I really enjoyed it. But on the other hand when I was sitting. She kind of projected my insecurities onto me. I'm not saying she is to blame of my insecurities but that's how I perceived. And I wasn't really conscious of what we were talking about. I just saw this Brain smog which didn't help. Felt like I was not the driver of the situation but I just became the unconscious self which didn't make me satisfied with how I acted. But seriously I wasn't even conscious of how I was being with her. Even the thoughts the conversations seemed to be blurred out never to be seen again... Overall I enjoyed the experience. The intimacy part really helped with my need of affection. I just feel that I don't or rather I should say that I shouldn't even have relationships if I'm not conscious of the act of the relationship with another person. If I'm conscious it's all good, it's a blessing. But if unconscious seems like I'm not there Like I don't have the awareness to be there. But maybe that's how the universe made my field of consciousness so I have to live with this from time to time.

@Nahm I'm no racist bro, I'm just sayin

My consciousness dissapeared and when it reapeared I heard a though saying, I will show you the way, because I was trying to remind myself on ehere I was going. And it leader no where good. Completely out of the way. So I somehow managed to snap back from it and fix the mistake I was making.

@Terell Kirby Well you can choose to believe it or not. I am telling you that I witnessed it. The fact that I know it doesn't come with the realization of knowigness. From what I've heard it is God Consciousness.

Or rather a percpetion of the big picture. Also some bits and pieces about the Big picture. I see it I know it. And it's very beautiful to look at. But How do I function from this state? Because I function on different states. Maybe my mind doesn't grasp it. The words can not put the picture in the big picture. What I'm talking about is seeing the big Picture. The consciousness field that Leo has talked about a lot. I see it. It's a great sight of Reality. Comes with a sense of Peace with it. Atleast most of it does. Have you people seen it? What do you do with it? What does it mean? Is it there for enjoyment or is this how life should be looked at?

Well.... Yes. I feel like I have of some sorts of limiting beliefs. What are these limiting beliefs? Do they actually do me any good? Do beliefs do any good? How does a belief work? How do I change any limiting belief? How do I get a benefit from a belief? These questions might help me. I tried letting go, I end up either resisting to let go or feeling like I don't need anyone. Neediness and non neediness again. Tough to balance. No idea how these are balanced. Only God knows. Just writing this out and having vision sure... As soon as I had hope I did envision stuff happening. Some of them happened some of them didn't. So I don't see where this helps me. I don't know about the active life. Maybe I'm just bullshiting myself to not do anything so I would stay in my imaginery world of procrastination and "Everything is fine" attitude. So I wouldn't need to do anything myself and everything would be done for me. Still bullshitting. Still talking nonsense. Still having 0fucks about myself and others. Not a healthy lifestyle....

In my free days out of work I don't spend time doing anything productive. I had a very lazy day. It was so lazy (if I can call it that) I spent most of the day laying in bed and not thinking nor doing anything just staring at the blank space. I became frustrated with my life situation. Especially when yet again failed in my search of a girlfriend. I don't want to feel this way. I want to be detached. I want to be the man who doesn't need to prove anything. I want to be a person of confidence and not of regret and shame. Is that possible? I do not know.

My Mom. Well she is seeks approval a lot. Especially about her made food. But she is understanding. And I wouldn't want any other mother.

@Moksha Thank you!

Why do states change? For a couple of days I've seen my state change from pure peace to something horrific. My perception changed into this static white screen where I couldn't really see what's happening. Like a smog it came onto me and I didn't know what caused that. It happens pretty frequently. Is it a delusional state? Or is there something to learn from it? after the smog I came back into the "being" state where I was in a meditation like state. Does anyone experience this?

It's the best thing. Most beautiful. eye contact. just mesmerizing.... I want more of this feeling. My soul heals when I look and have this beautiful connection with people. I never saw this in my life. Eye contact.... just... magical....

The freaking paradox is when you don't want them they are attracted to you. When how the hell are we supposed to get the girl that we want? This I don't yet understand.

I can talk about myself all day long. Does it mean it will have value? What is value? Does it mean I have to have money, expensive clothes, good looking body by the standarts of society? Like seriously... If I have to be valuable. Maybe I don't see myself as valuable. Then does it mean that value comes from within? Does it mean that I as a person Have to look at myself as valuable in order for others to see me as valuable? What does this "Worldview" have to do with anything on relationships, money, Career? Why does my identity has manifested? Why do I hear these "I'm _______" statements? Is it of any value? Is questioning all of this has any value at all? Post your answers down below.

"The way of the Superior Man" Practical and informational