Strangeloop

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  1. In my free days out of work I don't spend time doing anything productive. I had a very lazy day. It was so lazy (if I can call it that) I spent most of the day laying in bed and not thinking nor doing anything just staring at the blank space. I became frustrated with my life situation. Especially when yet again failed in my search of a girlfriend. I don't want to feel this way. I want to be detached. I want to be the man who doesn't need to prove anything. I want to be a person of confidence and not of regret and shame. Is that possible? I do not know.
  2. My Mom. Well she is seeks approval a lot. Especially about her made food. But she is understanding. And I wouldn't want any other mother.
  3. @Moksha Thank you!
  4. Why do states change? For a couple of days I've seen my state change from pure peace to something horrific. My perception changed into this static white screen where I couldn't really see what's happening. Like a smog it came onto me and I didn't know what caused that. It happens pretty frequently. Is it a delusional state? Or is there something to learn from it? after the smog I came back into the "being" state where I was in a meditation like state. Does anyone experience this?
  5. It's the best thing. Most beautiful. eye contact. just mesmerizing.... I want more of this feeling. My soul heals when I look and have this beautiful connection with people. I never saw this in my life. Eye contact.... just... magical....
  6. The freaking paradox is when you don't want them they are attracted to you. When how the hell are we supposed to get the girl that we want? This I don't yet understand.
  7. I can talk about myself all day long. Does it mean it will have value? What is value? Does it mean I have to have money, expensive clothes, good looking body by the standarts of society? Like seriously... If I have to be valuable. Maybe I don't see myself as valuable. Then does it mean that value comes from within? Does it mean that I as a person Have to look at myself as valuable in order for others to see me as valuable? What does this "Worldview" have to do with anything on relationships, money, Career? Why does my identity has manifested? Why do I hear these "I'm _______" statements? Is it of any value? Is questioning all of this has any value at all? Post your answers down below.
  8. "The way of the Superior Man" Practical and informational
  9. So in a previous post where I talked about pushing this girl's boundaries too much I talked that I was going to let her go and move on. But I couldn't... I went back to her and fucking did it again. why am I posting this in meditation section? Because when we talked I didnt really hear her talk. It's almost like the universe was talking to me through her. All I remember is that we talked a lot she smiled but in a fearful manner. I litterally picked her up liften her with my arms after seeing this black consciousness state where nothing exists. And when she was talking it was like the universe talking this very weird for me and I'm really confused and scared of what I can do unconsciously without really knowing the things I'm doing. It's like I'm not aware of the me. The Strangeloop of who is writing. Like I'm some kind of entity who is observing and not the person who is living this life. What can I do to stop bringing fear in this girls life how do I find abundance without being needy. Because she couldn't set the boundaries. She is too scared and I'm scared of what can happen regarding my behaviour with other people. How do I stop being the creep? how do I become a person who doesnt scare girls away but attracts them with abundance? And what is my next move with her?
  10. Very insightful. Thank you all.
  11. @Gianna Thanks for your support
  12. I was met this girl at a gas station, she works there. We had a couple chats, we she gave her number to me, we wrote back and worth. The thing I remember is me having this moment of glance at each other with our eyes, it was magical. But I think I somehow fucked it up. Because I pushed her too hard to get a date with me, I pushed her boundaries too much and too soon which means I touched her which from what I researched can and probably is seen as creepy from her point of view. So I deleted her number, I don't want to be this creep who comes out too strong and makes the girl uncomfortable in her own skin. I rather move on and not deal with her again. I decided to give up on her, because No matter how many times I insisted to have a date - she declined. Now my only option is to not look back and just leave her alone. I still have hope, but probably not for this relationship.
  13. @Nahm Taken out of context but okay.
  14. I never tried visualizing on command, but I certainly saw lots of images. Those images come and go they don't really stay with me. Some of them are scary, like looking into the future of your life. It is scary to see the future but also the images change and the future might change. And I'm talking about the future because I saw one image very vividly and it became true later in my life. That happend more than once in my life.
  15. I created this rule where it said "No gossiping" And I see other people doing it, but I try as hard as I can to abstain from talking about people, but maybe I'm in the wrong here. Maybe that is not a good strategy, And maybe that's why I'm so antisocial because I only think about my own problems and not other people. But I still would rather abstain from speaking about people, even if it hurts me. Maybe not so good strategy. What are your thoughts? Should a person gossip or shall he not?