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About flyingwhalee

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  • Birthday 02/02/1995

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  1. You don't really need that thick one, the SantataGamana books are enough. I have both and others, no need
  2. I have yet to meet a girl seriously interested in awakening or valuing / seriously pursuing it. I don't know if it's very wise to expect from your girl to be on the same exact page as you on this. At the end of the day, it's the loneliest path possible (solipsistic pun intended), that's how it is and it's fine. As for her guilt and codependency problem, do you think you can be patient and help her on this ? I think that would be the best thing. It sounds like you got yourself a very nice girl, I wouldn't give up before playing all the cards. Good luck !
  3. That's what I thought at first, but that's not it. After the 1st really bad one, I waited for a few months. Before today's trip, I hadn't tripped in a year. After those trips, I feel puzzled and a lot of sadness. At first I'm a bit relieved, like "Okay, it seems like I will survive. Good." Then, it feels like I have been denied access connexion to God, and it's rough. All of this is solid advice. I work very much on every aspect of my life currently. I still think this is a very particuliar problem that might have another cause.
  4. LSD has been a very useful chemical to me for the past 3 years. I grew a lot, and working with it in a non-dual context allowed for beautiful awakenings and spectacular God realizations I will forever cherish the memory of. It seems like I cannot use it anymore. My 3 to 4 last trips were horrific. I lack the words to describe how hellish they become. It goes like this: - I meditate like I always use to for the duration of the come up (1h). The familiar Lysergamide very energetic body load takes place. I place my awareness on itself, going deeper along with the feeling of existential love growing. - In a matter of a few minutes, everything goes very bad. Heart starts racing, all the love turns into extreme despair. It's not just panic. Multiply this by infinity. Everything in me is convinced this is the end. In fact, it's far worse than death: it's the end of every joy, love, hope. It's just like reality, that you used to love and recognize as yourself, turns against you in the most heartbreaking way. It's suicidal. I used to think that this was result of consuming Nbomes. I wish this theory was true, it is not. It happened again today with a light 150 AL-LAD, that I tested. At this point, I think the problem is in my brain chemistry. I have no idea if this is a Lysergamide problem only. I was planning on working with 5-Meo-DMT in a few weeks, needless to say I got cold feet. Does this ring a bell to anybody ? It's hard to imagine this is a me problem only.
  5. @Jowblob only a distraction in my experience. Way more value in doing it alone
  6. @sleep I would say the latter, surrender to the experience. Should you get annihilated, so be it. You don't need to formulate anything with words
  7. You take it, you sit still meditating for as long as possible, you focus and pay attention to what happens in real time. And you SURRENDER to EVERYTHING. That's basically it ✔️
  8. Bruh you're talking to someone who grew up in a traditional islamic household. Super wrong. Makes me wonder if you actually went to read the book by yourself. And no, Sufism is actually the core root of Islam, if you dig a bit
  9. Epic. Respect !
  10. @Kamo music helps me a lot with that. I get in that state instantly with the right tune