There could be something to that conspiracy but the point is that you stop where the evidence stops and anything past that you can acknowledge that you are in the area of speculation, nothing wrong with speculation but ultimately you realise you don't know. 
What happens with conspiracy theorists is that they'll take that extra leap and say that it's definitely created in wuhan, then they might cite another of their favourite theories to back up this one and then it goes off the rails. 
As for the spiral dynamics I think you could have critical thinking at most levels but green and below tend to have narrow narratives that they believe so if they haven't developed critical thinking it's very easy for them to get into conspiracy territory. Once you get into yellow the narrow narratives tend to drop away so it would be less likely for you to fall into a conspiracy theory 

@PetarKa Yes, of course! Which is why you can't think your way to enlightenment.
Thinking about enlightenment/truth isn't it, it's just more thinking. Thinking about awareness is not the same as being aware.
This is the key trap of mind: it thinks that it can think itself out of thinking into awareness, but that's just more thinking!
What's required is to realize this trap, and drop thinking (at least for a while).
Thinking is just one mode of approaching life, and then there's an infinite number of other modes.
There is a discontinuous jump between map and territory. An insight -- an ah-ha! moment -- is required here.

Hey,

As a newbie I constantly fall into the trap of mental masturbation and not taking actual action improving myself. I watch videos on meditation, enlightenment, business, being healthy and I get really excited, only to find myself not implementing any habits into my life. So I wanted to write down an exercise list. No theory, just hard personal labour. This is my list of personal development exercises so far. PS; These are tweaked to my personal life.
 Daily meditation routine   Drinking nothing but water (and 1 or 2 cups of coffee)   Eating a general healthy diet (lots of veggies, fatty fish, fruits and grass fed meat)  Having healthy sleep hygiene (Dark room, no distractions, preferably 8 hours)  Physical exercise (Lifting and cardiovascular exercises)  Quitting negative habits (Smoking, excess social media usage, alcohol and partying)  Quitting porn and masturbation (Nofap)  Discipline work (Doing important things whether you like them or not)  Reading   Creating a supplement stack   Taking your supplements  Social Anxiety exercises (Pick up, asking strangers for the time etc, group speaking, no people pleasing)
I hope you guys can also add your personal development exercises!
I will update this list when new exercises cross my mind. 

Cheers! 
 

Second what Leo said, as in find what works for you. 
Awakening doesn't mean you have to live in solitude, it might for some people of course. 
It could mean you throw yourself into the world and find a whole new group of friends, girlfriend etc. You don't have to talk about this stuff, I hardly/ never talk about awakenings, non-duality, personal dev with my mates because none of them ask/ don't want to hear it, just like I don't shove veganism down their throat. IF they ask about something I'm more than open to discuss it. 
It's more than okay to have interests outside of this btw, and once you 'finish' seeking unless you become a teacher of some sort you'll probably have an ordinary life. Like Rupert Spira and his teacher Francis Lucille NEVER talk about this stuff anymore as they have no need to and are 'normal' friends who often play tennis together for example. My teacher(s) live an ordinary life with each other, she actually has 3 kids, so that has its own challenges lol. 
 For me I'm an enneagram type 7 and LOVE socialising, I go out most weekends with my friends/ Girlfriend, but I work from home, so that's my main form of social contact. In the winter for obvious reasons I'm inside a lot, but in summer during Cricket season I'm outside most eveings and weekend so socialise even more, if anything this work has improved my social skills massively.
I feel people often underestimate how individual this work can be, depending on so many factors, so find what works best for you. 
One last thing is get out of your comfort zone, as a 7 I like to always be busy so I make sure to take time to spend alone and meditate and feel my emotions etc, whereas a 5 could hibernate all year so should really be going out socialising to improve their lives, its often the things we don;t want to do that will help us grow the most, and working with the Enneagram helped me understand why I didn't love meditation straight away and preferred reading/ watching to actually doing the work etc!

I study 100s of sources and do my own thing.
I have no interest in being loyal to anyone.

I agree with Brugluiz. I know some people who are christians whom I very much respect. The benefit of christianity or any form of organized form of religion is that you have access to a community, to rituals, to rites, to scriptures, to symbols... If you adhere to a formless, nameless god without any sort of avatar(s) or symbols which you can direct your spiritual devotion towards, it makes it harder on you. Not to mention the power of the collective energy field that arises when many people gather together and collectively focus their energy on one purpose.
And note that I am saying this as not being a christian, or any other form of organized spiritual/religious community. In fact, I am quite possibly missing out here.
So that's something to be remembered. I'm not necessarily trying to steer OP towards christianity, but I do want to clarify that christianity and non-duality aren't necessarily mutually exclusive. It depends on the person and the approach. I am not denying that many christians take it on dogmatically, but it doesn't have to be so.
But moving on to the rest that OP said...
For me it is always difficult when I read such posts how I am supposed to know where to even begin...
I think one of the best things that one can be reminded of is to not get too caught up in the specifics of your life.
The specifics of your life, what exactly you do and do not, are only the periphery of your life.
What I found in myself is that your attitude towards which you approach your life is way more important to what it is is that you're doing exactly.
You can for instance try to discipline yourself a lot and "try to get your life together", but there's also a very valid argument to be made to letting it all go and doing exactly what you feel like doing at the moment, even if it is eating "junk food".
That's what non-duality really implies. Most people don't understand the depth of the implications of the term non-duality. They think it's just some romantic term but at the same time they still believe that "to do this is better than do that" in many aspects of your life.
I think what I want to advise to you, OP, is to actually start questioning what you actually really know for certain. If it feels as if one particular action is "good" and another action is "bad", simply ask yourself: "How do I really know with absolute certainty that this assumption is true?"
What you're doing right now is to constantly resist almost everything you're doing. Life isn't really about what you do, but how you relate to it. You can do anything you fucking want. You can even go and murder people, and still this is not by definition "sin". I'm serious. The way I define sin is the attitude of which you come from. If you're full of hate and anger, then anything you do from that ground will be sin by default. If you're full of love, then what may seem to be a very sinful act to the outside world, can never be truly a sinful act if you're acting from love.
A peaceful life isn't in what you do, but what your approach towards it is. This is not just some poetic statement, but this is actually the Truth, without any exceptions. This is an universal law, and where people get caught up is when they think they have to "change" themselves and their actions. What you do is in fact so irrelevant, that even if you get the idea in your head that what you do in your life doesn't matter at all, and you try to live your life in accordance to that idea, that even that idea is another delusion.
Be aware that you don't come to regard your natural intuitive desire for action and change as illusory, and to thereby deny it, is what I'm saying.
And about the last paragraph that you said, about wanting to get total control over your mind...
Well you're bound to fail. Because the very thing that is trying to get control over the mind IS the mind. Instead, be aware when this tendency comes up for self-control and simply see it.
There's really nothing specifically that can be done to help you, as any change you try to make in the specifics once again just completely misses the point, misses the essential.
Just become more aware. One way to become more aware means to question more. To question your assumptions of what you ought to be true and good, and what you ought to be not true and false. Question that. What you will find is (if you're doing this honestly) counterarguments for what you previously held to be true. Keep questioning, and even question those counterarguments when you notice you start swinging once again too much to the other side of the pendulum.
To become more aware is to question, to question everything, and also just to see. To see means just to observe. And then to observe your mind in particular. Observe when you are about to or have gotten caught in a belief structure, or if you're acting from an assumption, or if your (what eckhart tolle calls) the pain-body is acting up, and how that will color your reality. 
All you really can do is just to be very sincere and very alert. If you keep on doing that, at some point you will find that the heaviness of all your mind and all your emotional pain will start to lift.
I'd recommend reading Osho to challenge your mind to explore many different perspectives. Osho is really good at going all over the place and contradicting himself constantly (as is in accordance to truth), making you question everything. You can find many free e-books of his at oshoworld.com.
I think "the power of now" from Eckhart Tolle is also a really good book for going meta. With that book though, be careful though that you don't start to think you have to constantly be trying to adopt all of the strategies that he's suggesting. Read it as poetry. Read it with the same attitude  as you would listening to music. Not to remember, but to vibe with it.
I also really like Adyashanti. Maybe you wanna check him out too. He has very much a soothing effect. It has that effect to me at least.
The key is to get behind it all. Just get behind it. Whenever you get caught, take once again just a step backwards. A step backwards to see it and to look at it. Keep doing that, and you will get there.
It will take some time and it may be very difficult, but you will get there. I trust that you will.
 

You are Love.

So to love suffering is to simply be who you are, and look at it. Nothing more.
 

That's the thing. You think you need to do something in order to love yourself. But that doing something is what's keeping you from Being. It's what's keeping you from simply accepting what you are.

Suffering is an illusion maintained by ego. So when you say you need to do something about it, to love it, you create the illusion of it being there in the first place. So trust that you are indeed Love and let it transform you by simply being yourself.

That's the beautiful thing about self-love. It happens automatically, because it's always there. But only if you let it. And suffering is that which doesn't let it. So let go and trust.
 
 

@TRUTHWITHCAPITALT Thanks!
1. In the Occult, there is a idea of True Will that  shows itself as the ego is transcended and mastered. The True Will propels one towards awakening and supporting the awakening in others. There are rituals that can be done that can be extremely effective in subjugating the ego. If the ego is not transcended, people will many times invest their energies to applying occult abilities for egoic ends. As with any other egoic path, it usually blows up in ones face.
2. Sure, but there can be delusion in anything. Just look at all the people that worship gurus like they are gods.
3. Definitely not. It is an intelligence that cannot be described. Its like the Tao - any description of the Tao is not the Tao.
4. No, but I do believe that if one does not burn away their attachments or aversions, they can create their own "hell" (to varying degrees) after the body dies.

One risk is psychic attack from an occultist but that is very rare. The other risk is negative spirits creating negative energy in you through fear, doubt, hate, etc and then feeding off it like a parasite. if you know what to do, you can protect yourself and they will go away. They want an easy lunch and there are too many available to work too hard on one person. If you know what to do, you can also turn the tables and feed off their energy like they were trying to do to you using psychic vampirism techniques. They definitely dont like this and will leave you alone.
I know one guy that was raped as a child and now he senses a dark being following him around and affecting him in his adulthood. This dark being was actually created by him due to a traumatic event (occultists call it a thought-form). I tried to tell him how to get rid of it but he couldnt bring himself to put in the work because it required meditation.
If you google witchcraft and "banishing" and "sacred space", you can find more info.

Sounds to me like you just need much more experience socializing.
Socialization is just like tennis. To get good at it you must have many opportunities to practice.
So very practically you need to change your life around so that you have more socialization opportunities on a regular basis. The rest will mostly auto-correct.
You can't get good at socializing if you're alone most of the time.
There is no specific way that you must be when you socialize. You can basically be totally natural unless you're some kind of psycho, in which case you'll have to reign that in. Be chill, friendly, pleasant, playful, honest, expressive, and relaxed. That usually works best.
You'll be amazed at how often people just accept you exactly for how you are. Perhaps the biggest mistake of learning to socialize is to try to act a certain way to please people or meet their expectations. Just be you. Not everyone will jive with you, but that doesn't matter.
Be comfortable in your own skin. Act with strangers the same way you'd act with close family. Assume everyone already knows each other. Don't try to act cool or impressive.
As simple as all these things are, it can take years to learn. Especially if you've developed bad habits.