FourSeasons

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About FourSeasons

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  1. I were thinking to wirte or not about it, but my inner guide made me ask you guys for some tips. (not a native english speaker, please forgive me for mistakes) I will try explain situation as best as possible. So i am married One year, we both going to spiritual path. I am happy to have him, we both build an amazing connection. This part is perfect. So i grow up more like man rather than woman. I got used to take care of myself, go trough the world with my head up. This experience gave me good and bad habbits. For example i am very manly, used to take care of a lot of things and ussually not understanding what my partner actually needs. Trying to change him, comment on his bahaviour and most of time looking for place to put him in bad mood. We had lots of fights, lots of drama because we both are sensitive. But mainly I were all the time thinking he has to make me happy. So until last week i still were thinking we are fine. But its not. I finnaly realized that i dont let my man be man. And i dont let myself be woman because of my past. Just few days ago he said he cant stand my anymore because of my bahaviour. Which i agree is unsustainable. So after his words i asked for the last time give me a chance to change it, because past few weeks were very intensive for my personal improving. I finally realized that actually i am the 'bad guy' in our relationships and when i will let go and just be in love with myself i will be able accept him the way he is. Yes seems like i understand what i have to do, even yesterday after weed session i encountered state where I understood whats happening and whats important for my in life : Gratfullness Happiness Emptiness Love There four things i felt in real non dual state. I was greatfull i am alive. I was happy i can learn my lesson, I were empty because its natural I felt love because its the reality. I felt it so strong i were full of joy tears, laughing and Being in present in totaly blisfull moment. I understood change its a must for myself and the world around me inclunding my husband So now when you more or less can get whats happening and what i am Looking for I want you to ask, what actions i have to take to make me feel woman again, how on daily basis keep these 4 esential things in my minds and how stop making my man feeling unloved but give him the best, because he is worth it as i am worth having happy and fully life. I hope you will understand my question and will have some insight for me. I will really apreciate everyone. Thank you in advance 🙏 Ps i started already take care of myself too. Gave me a girl night with bubble bath, book and vine and smiling. And i am very motivated to change my life for good to my and of course others.
  2. @DrewNows ohh thank you so much! You really brightened my day with thjs. I really needed it. Some inspiration and some boundaries to set. I have been working with myself long time, even been going to psychotherapist for few months to make my life better. Because i started be so unhappy, so sad, so dissapointed. At this particular moment i know i have make changes especially about perspectives to others. I used to be quite annoying to my husband, point out what he is doing wrong, always unhappy and waiting to teach him a lesson. And it got worse. Since i understand its not his problem, but actually Mine and if i wanna have stable life with myself, husband and all the world i have to let go my beliefs and accept life the way it is. But sometimes it scares the shit out of me, because of our dear friend ego. If you guys have more insights, please share i really came here for some help..
  3. @seeking_brilliance relaxed actions, especially when you get ofended (your ego) its Hard to take it easy. At this moment at my life, i really need this, and i think first rule of it is to dont react to anything but just listen and observe it. It minds, it creates crazy things. I am at oath right now, where I have to make a change because it destroys me, my personal life, my carrier path and my marriage. So i am seriously will observe more and wish for you too, who strugles at this. And also waiting for Any other advice i could take, to apply it in my life and make it the best.
  4. @Leo Gura thanks but I would never say that i understand everything fully, thats why i ask questions to understand it.
  5. @Leo Gura @Leo Gura As far as i understand, Love understands and accepts everything whats happened, happening or will happen? Because all the things is love itself?
  6. @Consilience so beautiful.. Your words is what i have been unconciously looking for.. And universe gave me it. Right at the perfect time. Thank you 🙏
  7. @Scholar all the pain and suffering is an illusion. All the things that happen to us is for some reason. If we stay calm, understand the lesson we can go further even stronger. I always were the One who choose suffering, reacting and all these emotions were really killing me. But the more deep I look at the things, the more i realize that everything happen for some reason. Maybe to learn, to grow, to get stronger. When life hits you strong, i really recommend you to read and learn more about forgivness it really helps a lot to go trough the pain. It still will be Hard, but if you stay conscious you can handle it more easier when you keep reminding to yourself its just an illusion, all the pain will go away, i am strong and i can handle it. Its like mantra you telling yourself to keep you possitive. Good luck and i am also trying this at the moment. Its Hard, but it works. I listen metidation music, trying be more productive and concetrate on work, myself and never forget whatever happens, happens for reason. Keep strong 🙏
  8. @AlldayLoop i started a half year ago. It all started because my husband started listening Leo and always was updating me what he learn. I would say i was very negative in it, because it sounded crazy and not real. Then i wanted to support him and understand what he is saying so i started to learn about budism. Read few articles budhist books and time by time became closer to my husband because i started to understand. There was times that i was lost after few awekenings and thought that im going crazy so stoped thinking about it but not more then few weeks. Then again some weed session had a little awekening and after it i got back on track. Even started seeing psichoterapist, who really supported meditation and all the things i was into it. So i figured it out that only thing that keeping me from spiritual life is my relationships with parents. And when i started let it go i just fully got into it. Since then my life is only getting better, im more happy and relaxed. And im sure that spiritual awekening is the biggest improvement in my life. I am more confident, i am more motivated to do my job the best i can, couse i know nothing is imposible. So of course this path is not easy but its worth every up and down, because when you understand whats happening you are finally free. Ps sorry for mistakes, but i hope you will understand.
  9. @Rigel thats what I am trying to do today. Really thank you for helpfull insights. And thanks to everyone, today i feel much better.
  10. @Serotoninluv thank you! It made some things clear to me now. And i will definetely spend more time in nature.
  11. For me it was weed session, I just looked in the sky and saw all these stars and became so close it was first awekening. Next night me and my husband were sitting in fron of fire Looking at it, talking and again suddendly i became awake and said to him :hi, how are you, its good to meet you, because he was also awake. That whole night i felt so concious and strong nothing could took me from this amazing state. I was free, everything was perfect. I even felt a need to make a ritual, so i stand up near the fire few times took a breath let my inner guide to guide me thought it and the just before third breathing i suddendly moved just in front of fire and bow to it like saying thank you. After it I felt amazing and happy. So morning came and it started to feel crazy. We were going home, doing things we used to do and i didnt felt it anymore, not that strong. So i got sad, and confused. And this feeling is now with me. But i am sure i need good meditations, relax and go more deep in it, because what is seen, cant be unseen anymore.
  12. Yeah thats what Im trying to do, even its not that easy. I started to see a huge ego in people and it scares me a little
  13. Thanks, these words really supports. Whole day is going insane, and now only when I meditated a bit, its a little bit relief.
  14. Long story short. (sorry not a native english speaker, so sorry for possible mistakes) My husband been awekend long time already, and step by step I was going to it with him. Last weekend was the real magic to me. I finally understood who "I" am and it was perfect and beatiful. Seems like everything is perfect, life it is as it is. But.. Today i came to work and it started triggering me. I couldnt understand whats happening, i feel duality and nonduality at the same time. I talk with collegues, they talk, act as ussual, but i cant be "same" as i was before. Collegues complaining about some life issues, only i can say is-well thats how its supposed to be. Well nothing bad or good about it, as non of these exsists, but i feel so confused and even a little bit shoked because of what i understood. My question is, what to do, to dont feel insane and just be happy of my awekening and use it with good purposes and dont get lost. PS my husband helps me a lot and as i call him, my guru really is so supportive in this awekening road but it would be intersting to hear some other perspectives and maybe good advices. Thanks in advance