Rodrigo SIlva

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Posts posted by Rodrigo SIlva

  2. Posted

    @Pacific Sage @StarStruck @StarStruck I don't know a lot about chakras but isn't it recommended that you open them in a certain order? I heard that having the chakras unbalanced can cause problems. Also is kundalini related to this? Can the third eye open without the kundalini stuff because I know that kundalini is pretty intense stuff and a lot of people are not ready for it

  3. Posted

    1 hour ago, Nahm said:

    The “opening of the third eye” could be said to be seeing reality as it is. This would be the same as saying, ‘realizing how you’re creating suffering’. The body & spirit are very literally loving the shit out of you. The “tension” is resisting it, via utilization of believing thoughts, and holding beliefs which never jived with you in the first place. Be open minded, and willing to let go beliefs about yourself & reality which are not serving you. ♥️

    As an exercise helpful to releasing & the arising of understanding, you might write about how you feel. Inevitably, the past will come up. Then consider writing (your best will always do) from the perspective of the people involved. Understanding & compassion will arise. This is but a means of self understanding, self acceptance, and self love...and the tension in the head will vanish. 

    Yeah it does seem like seeing reality more clearly almost like I'm in another place and it feels better than normal experiencing just a little more disorienting probably because I'm new to it. What really keeps me from surrendering is the fear of the psychic stuff that seems to happen. I don't know if I could handle seeing evil entities and stuff like that while I'm trying to sleep at night.

    I'll definitely try that exercise

  4. Posted

    1 hour ago, WhatAWondefulWorld said:

    I say, grow some balls and dive as deep as you can go, I took 410ug of acid two weeks ago, sent me to a different dimension.

    Damn it must be nice to have an all in mentality. When it comes to spirituality I always have that thought in my mind "Will I be able to handle this? Am I throwing myself into a world of suffering?"

  5. Posted

    I recently saw a video shared here on the forum of a woman that opened her third eye and went straight to hell seeing demons and she just wanted to kill herself long after. That video was pretty traumatizing considering that I've been feeling an intense tingling and sometimes even pain in the third eye area. So I decided that I wasn't ready to face the possibility of seeing demons and visit hell so I stoped meditating and the sensation on the forehead went away.

    But for some reason I just can't stop myself from questioning my experience and inquiry the self while I'm wondering around the house. Last night the questioning was making me get very conscious and very very present and more aware of the aliveness of everything and I started again feeling the intense sensasion in the third eye. I tried to avoid it but as long as I got a little more relaxed I got it again and started to have a lot of fear. So I coundn't sleep last night because I cound't face the possibility of the demons and shit like that.

    If I just surrender the sensation in the forehead starts to get really really intense and pulls me deeper and deeper into another experience which I don't know if I can really handle.

    Wtf do you think I should do? Maybe I'm just not ready for this work and there is a way to get back. Or maybe I should get some balls and dive into it.

    I can't really not meditate because I'm too concious of all the suffering of my daily life but going deeper is scarying the shit out of me. Even 50ug of lsd is a bit scary to me.

  6. Posted

    UPDATE: After a few days of distracting myself avoiding silence as much as possible I got the balls to shut down the computer and face the silence. And I started to have the same experience I had after the trip. I felt like I was falling into the void, reality was collapsing on itself and I was starting to realize very clearly that I don't exist. My heart was beating really really fast and at a certain point I got too scared and resisted it. Then it kept pulling me into it everytime I was silent so I had no choice and kept surrendering and then resisting and gradually surrendering all of what it wanted me to surrender. After that I felt this HUGE peace like a ton of weight has left my shoulders and I realized that I'm going through an intense spiritual transformation where it's no longer about being all peaceful and happy during meditation but what feels like the letting go of my physical self and physical reality. My meditation sessions are just a whole new thing now, 10x to 100x more powerful and a lot scarier.

    CONCLUSION: It seems like psychedelics loosen up your ego structure or even blow it apart and when the ego comes back it doesn't come back to it's original structure but to a weaker, more fragile and less rigid structure which can be much more easily dismantled by your normal meditation afterwards. So contrary to my previous belief psychedelics can be used to increase your everyday level of consciousness by leaving your ego structure more fragile than before the trip. Now maybe this only happens if the ego structure was already really weak and it was about to happen anyway, more experimentation needs to be done. But for now I see LSD (and maybe psychedelics in general) as a fucking amazing tool to increase your baseline level of consciousness which is what it's most critized for not being able to do.

  7. Posted

    On 17/03/2020 at 5:48 PM, reves said:

    If I were you, I would try the same dose again, but I would prepare for the trip more consciously, contemplate fears and do other activities like meditation more often.

    I've actually done a lot of meditation before this trip. I was almost feeling like I was about to have some breakthrough. So the fear could very well come from the meditation with a little push from the LSD. I mean I'm starting to think that there is no going around it. There will be moments of disorientation and fear on this path with or without psychedelics. 

    @Nadosa I've also had similiar experiences or even more intense experiences without the influence of psychedelics. How did you deal with it?

  9. Posted

    4 hours ago, Nahm said:

    That ...(imo) is far better to inspect non-trip, than in a trip (going back to your op).  The trip will ‘say’ there’s no you, no here, and you are not experiencing stuff...that feeling / here is not inside the body.  That’s what “could be lost”, that’s the “fear”.  You can ‘peel it off’ with a psychedelics, but that’s like taking a band aid off with a bulldozer. This is generally indicative (no offense) of a local culture of psych’s being “the work”, whereas imo they are “the reward”, the pleasure cruise through infinity, for having done the work.

    Yeah I'm not entirely sure if psychedelics are really a useful tool to go deeper in any lasting way or just a short term profound experience. But at the very least it seems to leave you with a lot of food for thought which could be helpful in the sober self-inquiry practices.

  10. Posted

    5 hours ago, Commodent said:

    "In serious spiritual work, it is necessary to have a few simple basic tools that are absolutely dependable and safe to rely on in order to walk through fear and uncertainty. One basic truth that is of inestimable value and usefulness is the dictum that all fear is fallacious and not based on truth. Fear is overcome by walking directly into it until one breaks through to the joy that the fear is blocking. The joy that follows facing any spiritual fear comes from the discovery that it was merely an illusion without basis or reality."

    Loved this quote

  11. Posted

    @Serotoninluv This has been exactly my experience and it actually makes sense that if the fear is grounded on an ilusion that with enough exposure to it the mind starts to stop resisting it because it recognizes that there is no danger in letting go. So has long as we have the courage to face the fear it shouldn't be too much of a problem. I think the real problem happens when we don't have that courage to look at the illusory monster right in the eyes but keep running away from it reenforcing it's reality.

  13. Posted

    3 hours ago, Nahm said:

    One person’s fear of death is another’s dropping of a belief. 

    What would that look like?

    How could you both create a belief, and yet surrender to it? 

    I'm not sure if I understood your point. The trouble with the surrendering is that my mind doesn't know where to invest it's sense of self and security in. Like when I speak it's confusing to understand what is that thing that is speaking like if the rigid self got loosened up and now I'm not so sure who I really am. So I guess the belief that is dropping is the belief of being this very specific character.

  14. Posted

    3 hours ago, OBEler said:

    @Rodrigo SIlva I heard from many people that low doses (not microdoses) can be weird. They say you are hanging in between a trip and sober consciousness.  You are not fully in a trip, you are between two worlds if you know what I mean. Therefore your ego is very well active and can be afraid. Higher doses will solve this problem. In your case I still would do some more low doses. You mastered 50 mcg, next time it will be a little less wired and so on. Then go up to the next level

     

     

    Yeah that sounds like the right thing to do

  15. Posted

    5 hours ago, OBEler said:

    @Rodrigo SIlva I know your situation from myself. Good work, that you decided to do it anyway, you have strong will power. This sounds like  a good trip in terms of growth, which will help you a lot in your journey.

    But dont go up. make a break and then do 50 again and again until you can rest in silence with bliss. silence is pure beauty. your ego just hates it

    For me I also get this claustrophobic silence, and I feel weird. Even music will not stop this. I then concentrate on the breath, that helps

    Thanks for the advice! Yeah the thing is that I felt like it went half way but never got to any release. I know some people find 50ug a little anxious, weird, boring because it comes up but there is never a real release from the ego, the mind never goes kabom. Do you think this unsettling vibe could be because of the half dose or is it just my inability to surrender properly and with more dose there will just be more resistance?

  17. Posted

    So after several years of on and off spiritual practices and some decent progress with it I decided to give LSD a try. One thing that I wasn't expecting was that I have a TON of pre trip anxiety but I just force myself to do it anyway. 

    The first time I did 50ug and it it was unpleasant at the peak, I think because my trip sitter was judging me and getting offended at the stuff I was saying so it got a little ugly or maybe just because I was scared going into it.

    Last week I decided to give it a try again but now alone in a beautiful apartment with a great view. Again I had a ton of pre trip anxiety and was getting afraid that that could mess up my trip. The peak was actually great I looked at myself in a new way full of love and understanding which I thought was very helpful because I've been very judgmental towards myself and now I see a new way to relate to myself and the world. But still the trip had this fearful, unsettling vibe to it especially when I turned off the music and there was just silence. I kind of felt claustrophobic and weird with the world around. That night after like 20 hours since I dosed I had this intense fear which I couldn't be in silence with. I felt like if I surrendered to it I could have a mental breakdown or a panic attack or something. Since then I've been feeling this same thing and been distracting myself a lot. Like I want to hold on strongly to my ego.

    What do you think I should do with this?

    Put off psychedelics for awhile and just meditate, do 50ug again and try to surrender more fully, or jump to 100ug (scared to do so)?

    Thanks in advance!

  18. Posted

    12 minutes ago, Natasha said:

    @Rodrigo SIlva The Absolute experiences itself through form. Without the contrast of duality we would never know about Oneness. So we need a limited mind to know the infinite one (as paradoxical as it may sound). And this we all share - a no-mind perspective.

    This one twited my mind so hard I can’t even tell you ? 

    Why would we need a limited perspective to experience the infinite prespective? Why couldn’t it just experience itself?

  19. Posted

    9 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

    You can't understand it without awakening. And it's too radical to explain to you verbally.

    You have to stop being a self to understand it. Your self-hood is getting in the way.

    Self-hood is the illusion. There simply isn't no such thing as a self. It's being imagined.

    What I'm telling you is: your birth is imaginary. You were never actually born, you simply believe you were.

    Even if there is no ego my I experiences a particular kind of experience and your I experiences another experience. If these are the same I it must have been seperated somehow  sticking one part of itself into one experience and another part into another exeperience because I don’t experience your experience. Does this make any sense?

  20. Posted

    @Leo Gura If my awarness is the same as your awarness how come I don’t see what you are seeing? If there was only one conciousness that conciousness would be aware of all experiences that are happening right now. I go to sleep and wake up and always see the same human being and the same for you so my awarness must be individual and not universal. Could universal conciousness be an ilusion?

    This was one of my objections on Leo’s new topic. I honestly don’t understand this! Does someone have an answer for this?

     

  23. Posted

    20 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

    @Rodrigo SIlva Tolerance varies from person to person.

    Assuming normal tolerance, I would stay under 4g of mushrooms and under 300ug of LSD. Even those doses can be very intense and challenging on the psyche to integrate.

    If I do mushrooms or LSD, I keep it at 2g and 150ug. But I'm probably unusually sensitive. Many folks would probably need to double or triple that to experience what I experience.

    Yeah those doses seem pretty intense from the trip reports I read. I was thinking of getting some benzos in case of an emergency to kill the trip if I thought the experience would traumatize me and put me off psychedelics. Would this be counterproductive? What’s your take on this?

  24. Posted

    Just now, Leo Gura said:

    @Rodrigo SIlva You can do a lot of work with LSD and mushrooms even without 5-MeO. Don't underestimate them.

    Do you think we should take high doses to really advance or can we go just as deep taking multiple 150mcg of LSD or 3g to 4g of mushrooms the proper way?