Porphyry Fedotov

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About Porphyry Fedotov

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  • Birthday 06/11/1989

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    Manila
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  1. You're welcome. Tell me more about your San-Pedro expirience, im curious
  2. What is really mindblowing, but kinda predictable, that all those powerfull people who are clearly and without a shade of a doubt incriminated by this info, especially Trump, arent prosecuted
  3. Hey everyone. I’m currently in Cusco, Peru, where San Pedro cactus is legal, you can buy it at the market, which is exactly what I did. A few days ago I brewed a decoction and drank it at night. At the peak, I felt like I transcended into some kind of energetic being made of pure energy. I perceived other energetic entities as blob‑like forms of flowing energy, somewhat similar to TV static. The energy flowed like liquid mercury. Just perceiving that plane of reality felt like it reassembled me from the inside. I found myself on a strange level of existence populated by jellyfish‑like beings. It felt as my interest in them was what pulled me into that plane, the more I focused my awareness at them with curiosity, the more clearly that realm manifested itself. At some point, I myself became a blob of pure energy - that I literally wove myself into the structure of their world. It even felt like I was replicating there in the form of energetic constructs. It was weriedly easy - as simple as having a thought. Fractals were pushing in from all sides chaotic and relentless. So intense that I couldn’t focus my eyes on anything; reality shattered into endless patterns, everything flowing and breaking apart. I also saw shimmering energetic snakes crawling along the corners of objects. I drank the brew around 4am, and by 3pm the effects were still going strong. Time behaved strangely. At one moment, around 11am, it felt like time had completely frozen. I started shivering violently, as if I were turning into ice. At times it felt like linear time had broken down and multiple things were happening simultaneously. I put on Kali kirtans, and I began to dissolve into dust. It felt as though parts of me were being erased, page by page, from the book of existence and carried away. I seemed to spend eons in this cycle, slowly moving along the dial of some cosmic clockwork mechanism. Moment by moment, particles of me crumbled like decaying pages of ancient papyrus and drifted off into cosmic space. It felt like a slow death of the ego, not harsh like with mushrooms, but softer and more gradual. There was also a moment when I felt as if I had ascended to the top of the world, to a place where the creator or the source of everything was present. Some kind of ritual mystery was unfolding there, and then light began to burst outward in all directions. Overall, the cactus feels like this: it’s a very slow but unstoppable truck. At first you think nah, this is weak. But at the peak, the fractal energy presses through you completely, and there’s nowhere to escape. What’s interesting, though, is that throughout all of this there was still an observer present. I clearly and distinctly realized during the trip that there was me as the observer and the observed - all this psychedelic madness. There was no total collapse of subject and object like I was hoping for. There was a brief moment when I saw an unopened lotus flower and felt as if I were rushing toward the observed like a train, trying to merge into an embrace - but I barely remember it, and it doesn’t feel like any real union actually happened. So, guys what do you think, is reaching a truly non‑dual state is more about dosage, or more about mindset and intention? I’ve had dozens of mushroom trips behind me, with doses starting from 5gr of dried Cubensis and up, and I’ve experimented with many different psychedelics. Yet genuinely non‑dual experiences are still very rare visitors for me....
  4. So America just had a special military operation of their own basically. Same as Russia. Unfourtunately, nobody is gonna sunction or judge them for the aggressive regime change. At least this time they are clear that it's all about oil Well China hasn't invaded anyone and is building it's empire strictly by economic measures (building infrastructure and stuff all over the world) while the USA is actively destibilizing the world with endless wars
  5. Bro, he meant that you can't base the source your happiness on anything external, even with a shitload of money, you would feel dissatisfaction. Instead, we should look inside.
  6. It makes sense if English is your second language. For the record, I was learning English the same way. Each time I would stumble upon a new word, I would memorise its spelling as well. Like Kanji. But is it sustainable for the native English speakers? It makes more sense to change the spelling system and make it simpler and more similar to the Russian or Spanish ones
  7. You can just say that you don't have any social media accounts; there's no way to prove it wrong
  8. Sufism is a legitimate working path to awakening...
  9. There are legit problems with immigration, but Europe has yet to experience them in the future. As of now, the point at which immigration would cause some problems hasn't been reached. All I read was some crazy conspiracy ramblings about the great replacement. In Russia, we also have right-wing dummies who get triggered at the sight of thousands of Muslims doing Namaz on the streets of Moscow around the Grand Mosque during Eid al-Fitr and Eid al-Adha. But then again, Russia is half an Asian country (at least geographically) and we've been living with Muslims side by side since medieval times, but still. Bro, cultural identity is a personal thing, similar to religion. All cultural identities are just bullshit painted in different colours. The state shouldn't protect it. It's up to people which cultural shenanigans they desire to participate in
  10. Bro I'm trying to evolve here, not devolve
  11. @koops Interesting, thanks
  12. Yeah, that's what I'm working through. I used to be a mild people pleaser (but at the same time, I used to constantly get into arguments about politics with my libertarian right-wing friend, which was driving me nuts lol), but I slowly got it out of my system. Like these days, my priorities are only what matters Speaking of sports, it's a box for me. I always wanted to go into martial arts, but thought it was either too late or too much for me. Essentially, I'm trying to do things that cause me to feel fear, cringe or judgment Also, what do you mean by expressing anger constructively?
  13. Hm, when I say integration, I’m talking about making myself more conscious of the layer of Red, instead of leaving it as something shadowy or reactive. Which it was, and I was avoiding it. And of course, I don't think that at I'm at pure green according to this model, which is impossible. Maybe if I were more green I'd have found different methods to express Red - but they aren't as fun as boxing, I think. However, I saw a lot of green folk learning Maui Tai in Thailand for similar reasons tho To work it through consciously, exhaust it, and move past instead of letting it sit in the shadow. That way, it gets integrated and transcended at the same time I was asking more not about how someone would express Red, but how one would integrate it. Integration is when you choose to do it consciously for self-development
  14. You can't regress in spyral. Red takes a lot of form, finding commonalities, participating in ones you vibe with and absorbing non-toxic forms of it is integration. That's what I'm doing via different means. Such as boxing, for example What is your approach? I'd like to see what you do to integrate red