whoareyou

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Posts posted by whoareyou

  1. Posted

    5 minutes ago, electroBeam said:

    Do you need to put significant time and money into the logistics of having a deep and meaningful conversation with your mum? When you're out with your best friends from childhood, do you need to isolate them to get their attention and talk about meaningful stuff that they are engaged with? Do you need to lead your children to have a meaningful conversation with them?

    Why can't you try to connect with women with the same level of depth of family and best friends, instead of acting like an ape? When you cold approach, actually do it out of divine love and respect for the You that you are. Do it with a drive to seriously want to see her grow, where a relationship with her is a means to help her grow. Do it with helping her heal, helping her get better. I've done cold approaches and this mindset is always more successful then trying to replicate the PUA shit you read on this forum and the internet. 

    Life isn't about sex, and it's not about objectifying women(which you definitely are doing). You're not going to be fulfilled just trying to have sex with women. 

    You're going to be fulfilled by having very deep, meaningful relationships with women. And sex is 1000x better when you have it with someone you deeply love, rather than some stranger you just picked because of her large breasts. 

    Have some unconditional Love(capital L) for the girls you're trying to connect with. That's what girls appreciate(well the good ones at least, the shit ones are too busy being gold diggers or trying to find a guy to hide their social status insecurities)

    LOL, i am actually laughing.

    Where did I say that sex is the most important, or that you shouldn't connect with women more deeply?

    Watch your projection, and self bias here - you have very negative associations with anything "PUA" related.

    There is time and place for everything in life. And you got to meet the people where they are at. If a guy wants to learn how to "close", you should give him advice on exactly how to do it. And it is up to them on "how" they want to go about it.

    If you give him your "green dating" advice, it will be counter intuitive for OP.

  2. Posted · Edited by whoareyou

    @Serotoninluv  You are more lost than I think you actually were. 

    There really is no need for deep analysis here, as this is not what is being discussed here.  Instead of addressing the simple point that I made, you created an unnecessary long essay.

    You are over-complicating it buddy. 

    It's very simple - you got to meet people where they are at. And it is up to them what to do with the advice given. 

    OP did not ask for the advice on what to do with women, or on how to connect with them, he asked on how to CLOSE.

    Closing is a very important part that many of the new guys struggle. If you never went through the struggle, you will never understand it.

    Before you judge through your limited ideological paradigm - try to look at a different perspective as I mentioned.

  3. Posted

    @Etherial Cat  That is your own projection! Who said that it can't be win-win? "Cock blocking friends" is not even a PUA term, it is used very widely in the mainstream in general. You are being too attached to the terminology here, without even understanding what exactly the specific terms mean here.

    Everything that LEO has mentioned can be a win-win. 

    If you stop projecting, and reading it only from your limited lens - you will see it for what it is.

    You can be genuine, authentic, and still do what LEO has mentioned here - these things are not exclusive!

    At the end of the day, these are just tools, and it is up to people on what to do with them.

  5. Posted · Edited by whoareyou

    22 hours ago, see_on_see said:

    Why are you posting such garbage? This is full-on stage Orange RSD paradigm. It's totally misleading. 

    We need Green dating advice, not this. 

    And no, there's no need to learn such twisted mindsets and ridiculously manipulative behaviours to then evolve into more conscious behaviour. It's unnecessary. 

    You have to meet the people where they are at. 

    OP's question was "How to close?". He made it very clear what his goal/intent was and LEO could not have given him a better answer.

    The same can be said to you - why are you posting such garbage? Garbage here is very relative term - because for this person, the advice that LEO has given is gold.

    Also, can you tell me how isolating a girl, leading her, and figuring out logistics is automatically manipulating? Do you have any idea of how social dynamics work? 

    Your interpretation of the advice LEO has posted - as in you are trying to trick a girl into liking you, which can't be further from the truth.

    You may connect with a woman, and she may be very interested in you - but if you fuck up the logistics, and you don't know how to deal with her cock blocking friends, the interaction may go nowhere, that is just the reality. A lot of guys don't know these basic things, so it is very beneficial for them to hear it.

    @Serotoninluv

    You usually love to educate people about structure vs content, and to point out how others see things through limited lenses. 

    This time I will point out to you, how you are too immersed in your "green dating" paradigm, and that you are unable to see other perspectives for what they are - without your filter. In fact, you (and others here who are "speaking out") are interpreting LEO's entire answer from only your green paradigm - making it sound what he said 100x worse than it actually is. 

    I would even add, that many of you are too caught up in spiral dynamics, and see majority of things only from the perspective of SP, which is very, very limiting in itself.

    TA-DA!

     

  6. Posted · Edited by whoareyou

    30 minutes ago, iGhost said:

    Spank her, choke her, fuck her properly, insert your finger into her ass while in doggy. Be super dominant and unapologetic. You are being too soft probably.

     

    See how it goes. Give her multiple orgasms through her clit and fingering first. Do some random crazy shit. Bring that masculine dominant energy. Not just into the bed. 

     

    Sorry for the language. Being an asshole doesnt equal being dominant. When she says STOP, you stop. But only when she really means it...

     

    Good luck buddy

    Exactly this and what LEO has said. 

    Sorry to break it to you, but the sex that you had with her was not as "great" as you think. Most men think that they are sex gods, while in reality are very far from that. If you were to ask an average woman how many partners she has been with that she had great sex with, the answer would be 1/10. (you can do research and confirm that). This is of course an honest answer, and no woman will ever admit that to their partner, due to the fear of hurting them or their ego. 

    Up your bedroom game.

  9. Posted · Edited by whoareyou

     

    5 hours ago, Bno said:

    @Serotoninluv I have genuine curiosity about what makes you think Putin has leverage on Trump. With the answer you give I can't say objectively whether you are right or wrong, but we can speculate on what is most likely to be true. We are both theorizing here. 

    My theory is based on evidence of Trump acting out against Putin's interests.

    Your theory is based on how the criminal mind works (but you have yet to explain what makes you think Putin has leverage on Trump).

    We can't say for sure who is objectively right, but one can say which is most likely to be true.

    But this is besides the point I try to make on these forums. My point about Russia and Trump speculations is that it doesn't work in hurting Trump because...

    1) people like myself see more evidence that goes against this notion that he's been infiltrated than evidence that is for this notion, 

    2) as it currently stands, it isn't affecting anyone's lives directly, and

    3) we've seen his approval ratings go up immediately post-Mueller Report and even before that when the MSM wouldn't stop talking about it.

    Originally why I began talking about this issue on here was to let @Leo Gura know that he was unconsciously helping Trump by repeating misinformation he heard about collusion and Russian election interference. If we want to fix the problems of this country we need to realize that Trump is not the problem and US corruption did not start on Jan 2017 nor did it get exponentially worse. What Trump is is a symptom of a much larger systemic problem that needs to be focused on more than these distractions like Russiagate, which is entirely ineffective at solving the root problems. 

    Focusing on Russigate over the actual systemic issues is unconscious politics.

    100% agreed.Like I said before,  @Leo Gura has a very strong left-wing bias (major blindspot actually), which is one of the reasons why he falls for the mainstream narratives. It's part of his constructed identity (how much of an ownership of that perspective he takes) as @Serotoninluv explained above.

  10. Posted

    8 hours ago, Bno said:

    @Serotoninluv I honestly want to learn what Trump has done to make you think Russia and Putin has leverage on him. 

    @Serotoninluv I would like to know the answer as well or at least what makes you think so. I am afraid that you are purely speculating though and are running away from answering this question.

     

    9 hours ago, Serotoninluv said:

    @Bno You seem to like your narrative. This is what I wrote earlier about filters. You are immersed in a narrative that you see as being objectively true and you protect that narrative. There is nothing wrong with that, yet it is contracted and prevents growth and expansion. 

    The same exact same thing can be said about yourself - your are immersed in a narrative that Trump was compromised by Russia  and seem to be protective of it.

  14. Posted

    Leo said not long ago that he is close to 99% sure that Trump will not get re-elected in 2020.

    After impeachment, his odds have actually improved:

    https://www.thelines.com/trump-election-odds-2020-impeachment/

    I will say it again - Leo, how about put your money where your mouth is and actually place a bet? Should be easy money for you!

    With all due respect, Leo, you better off sticking to spirituality and stay out of politics.

  15. Posted · Edited by whoareyou

    59 minutes ago, Etherial Cat said:

     

    It's not a surprise that a lot of men wants to find some docile women, so those men can get their needs met and push the relationship on their side. 

    The attraction that many of Western men have towards Eastern European women is quite often based on enjoying an uneven power dynamic that allows them to get laid by girls or marry women they like to sexually objectify, fetichize for their features and control.

    Western women as a collective rejected that experience so that's why the men who desire such relationships with women got to travel to destination where those power structures still holds. I'm personally not interested in dating those type of men, so that's really not a loss. 

    Fortunately, there are plenty of men who recognizes the problem of this type of behavior between male and female, and are looking for a more fulfilling relationship. I wouldn't bother in dating a guy who fails to see me as a subject and understand my imperative needs solely so he take advantage of me and claim it's all because on a natural, absolutistic order.

    The men I date are looking for a healthy and intimate relationship, not a fantasy that is going to backfire.

     

    This is total nonsense - you have clearly been brainwashed by the western culture.

    An actual healthy relationship is when a woman gets to be at her feminine core and a man gets to be fully at his masculine. (This is true for at least 80% of the people, not including the minority where the roles are reversed or where there is equal polarity between masculine/feminine)

    Your negative association and picture that you painted tells me you have rejected your femininity and are trying to justifying it in all sort of ways, instead of working on healing yourself.

    I will not respond any longer, as this is something that you won't be able to understand by logic, and without direct experience.

  16. Posted · Edited by whoareyou

    @Etherial Cat Exactly - I am saying that a lot of the women in Eastern Europe have not lost the touch with their true nature, unlike a large portion of Western women.

    You would be surprised, but majority of men (including Western men) find those women far more attractive and desired. Some that even travel to these destinations to find a long term partner/wife.

    There is a difference, and if you don't see it, then I can't help you.

     

  17. Posted · Edited by whoareyou

    @Etherial Cat

    Read the title and OP of this thread : "Dominance during sex"

    Pulling a woman's hair and slapping her ass during sex is something as natural as it gets - yet a guy is questioning his desire due to social programming he has received in the western world.

    It is simpler than you think and spiral dynamics doesn't apply to everything.

    We can agree to disagree, but I will stand by my opinion that social programming in the West is responsible for the things that I mentioned.

     

  18. Posted · Edited by whoareyou

    28 minutes ago, Elisabeth said:

    Well, since you're talking strictly about sex, I obviously won't meet them as a men in the bedroom! 

    I am from central Europe, I do get exposure to influences from both Germany and Russia. Maybe I should travel to USA to see if women there repress their desires as you claim. 

    ****

    Biological evolution is hard to distinguish from cultural evolution. Since none of us has data on how much of a majority of women enjoy submission, let alone on that nature vs. nurture problem, let's agree to disagree. 

    ****

    Hah, I was reminded of an extremely bizarre Russian influence! This one is for the ladies:

    http://hellgalerie.cz/wp-content/uploads/2019/07/ropespirit-x-2019-agience-084.jpg

    When it comes to femininity in general - you will see that the women are way more feminine in Russia and Eastern Europe for example.

    You would be able to tell from their energy alone (don't need to meet them in bedroom), not to mention the external factors such as clothing.

    You indeed should travel to USA - you will be in quite a shock.

    The social programming goes very deep - I just don't think totally realized it yet.

  19. Posted · Edited by whoareyou

    55 minutes ago, Elisabeth said:

     

    Actually, I reconsidered. It's just a gross generalization. And I fell for it because my own attraction fits the stereotype to some degree. Yeah, MANY women will enjoy some dominance and will seek security through a powerful male. But no, not everyone. Women have a lot of other desires from a partner, and I know wonderful couples who don't fit the stereotype at all and have a lot of fun sexually. And no, women are not really socialized to repress their desire - if anything we're still socialized to be submissive in so many ways. 

    In fact, I believe an integrated human being is above male and female, and can switch between passivity and activity, dominance and submission, take the lead or follow. Yeah, he/she can still have preferences but finds enjoyment in both roles. 

    You didn't understand my point. I am talking about strictly sex here - what happens in the bedroom.

    It's not a gross realization - it's the reality after thousands of years of evolution.

    Sure there are exceptions here and there - but for the vast majority this is the case.

    As the saying goes- "Women want to be treated like princesses but in bedroom fucked like whores".

    This does not include women who have had sexual traumas. I am talking about strictly majority of healthy sexually women.

    In the west - the women are socialized to repress their desire and so are the men. The women became less submissive in general and less feminine than they used to be.

    Dominance, respect and other traits that one may desire are not exclusive. Yes people enjoy switching and experimenting - but there is still the primary desire.

    Dominance and respect are not mutually exclusive - not sure where you got that idea from?

    If you haven't traveled yet, go and travel to Russia + Eastern Europe, and see how feminine + submissive the women there are. Also some Asian countries. The difference is day and night - and social programming is responsible for this.

  20. Posted · Edited by whoareyou

    Dominance is the key to great sex. Sexual healthy women crave to be dominated after thousands of years of evolution.

    Majority will enjoy ass spanking, hair pulling, and dirty talk. The key is to mix in variety.

    You will be surprised how many love getting called words like "slut" during the play.

    Our society has made the female desire to be submissive to a dominant male taboo. Every one of us has been deluged with social programming like "men want to have sex, women want to make love" and "a woman wants a man who respects her" since grade school. Women are socially conditioned to repress their desire to be dominated and men are conditioned to repress their desire to dominate.

    In the absence of dominance there is no sexual satisfaction. While women will never speak about it and may not even be conscious of it themselves, they all deeply desire to be submissive to a powerful man.

  21. Posted

    On 12/5/2019 at 9:46 AM, Shin said:

    If you were truly filled with love, having a girlfriend or not would make no difference at all.

    You can share love in an infinite number of ways.

    Just smiling to strangers, helping people whenever you see someone needing help, listening genuinely without judgments, working hard at your life purpose, and even just looking people in the eyes or living their life.

    You are totally satisfied if you are filled with love, because it's your natural state.

    Believe it or not, you're not filled with love right now, it's neediness and neurotic attachment.

    You have been brainwashed by society and now thinks you absolutely need a girlfriend to be happy, to allow yourself to feel love.

    That's absurd, no one can give you love, it's already in you, you just subconsciously says «I need that and this, THEN I will feel love».

    Then it becomes your reality.

    This isn't some hocus pocus concept, it's true lol

    I wish you could feel it, then this idea of a girlfriend will seem silly to you ?

    This is the best advice that anyone could have given you. Shin has been the most honest and straightforward out of any of responses in this thread.

    What is more important to you - truth or some kind of fantasy which you have been living all of your life?

  22. Posted

    @Preety_India If he is a flat earther and cannot see the absurdity of these beliefs - how do you expect this person to do any serious consciousness work?

    If you continue to grow and he stays stuck - this won't last very long. In fact, I am calling it now - I am afraid you also have a mismatch in terms of stages.

    Do not get into any relationship before you do this:

    19 hours ago, Key Elements said:

    Please become a NRI first, know the world, yourself, and then pick a bf.

  23. Posted · Edited by whoareyou

    2 hours ago, Serotoninluv said:

    I think you make a really good point here. Many minds get immerse in concepts and those concepts get transcended. In a sense those concepts are "dropped" and that is a deep spiritual teaching. Once one reaches the shore, drop the boat. If you see buddha on the road, kill him. . . Yet in another context, concepts can still have value as form. There just isn't the same attachment / identification to the concepts anymore.

    The other thing this brings up for me is the idea of "arriving". "Now that I have arrived, I can drop the concepts that allowed me to arrive here". This gets tricky, because in a sense it's true - yet in another sense it can be a contraction in a new transcendent area. At the human level, growth is unlimited and concepts serve as maps. The map is not the territory, yet maps are territory and are useful. We may have a map that helps us to get to New York City. Once we have arrived, we can discard the map and be in the NYC territory. Yet this doesn't mean that maps no longer have value. There are maps of New York City that are helpful. As well, NYC is just one city (facet). There are maps to other facets such as Chicago, Prague, Rome, Melbourne etc. that are helpful. 

    This was exactly what I meant. Thank you for articulating yourself so well and providing such easy to understand examples

     

  24. Posted · Edited by whoareyou

    13 minutes ago, Key Elements said:

    @whoareyou I already said what I had to say. A life purpose would be a more appropriate place if you put it together "correctly." Do your own life purpose. Ppl will have to interact and relate to you in practical ways, and only very few or none will understand what you mean when you speak of anything nuanced.

    Universal advice is inappropriate for nuanced. It's not one size fits all.

    You can create many justifications or reasons for continuing to do what you are doing. Just remember the cost and the price.

    Consider this hypothetical - if enough people awakened and didn't need any of this, you + many others would be out of business. 

    Truth is prior to life purpose.

    Yes certainly you can't give universal advice to everybody, hence why I suggested to create  sub-categories of the "enlightenment/meditation" section.