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About Cuddy5269

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  1. Yep I think I need to really do my research and figure out the root of my mental issues. I've been working on my diet but there is still more I can learn about nutrition. There has to be something I can do that will work for me. I just need to keep looking. Thanks for replying.
  2. Thank you I needed to hear this.
  3. I have nearly completed Leo's Life Purpose course and have learned a lot about myself and what I want to do in my life. I have found my life Purpose and am more than happy with the results I have gotten from the Life Purpose course. I want to keep working at my life Purpose, but I have one problem that's weighing me down. I've been having some major mental health issues the past few years. It's gotten to the point where I have been getting a lot of suicidal thoughts. I wake up every morning shaking, depressed, and scared to get up.I don't even consider myself a suicidal person, but for some reason I feel so scared of life that it's taking a lot of energy that could be used towards my Life Purpose and making me feel suicidal. If it's true that my parents and everyone else are not real then who can I impact through my work? The thought of being alone also terrifies me. I know this is part of me being a selfish ego but I really don't know what to do with my life. I'm 24 and don't want to waste the rest of my 20s and still live a happy life even if my identity is fake. Should I put my life Purpose aside for now and work on my mental health issues or pursue both? I tried working with therapists in the past couple years along with meditating an hour a day and healthy eating and could not heal myself. There are many other things out there that I need to discover and see what works. I know I need to hold myself accountable for this and work my ass off, but I just feel lost and don't know where to invest what little energy I feel like I have. I know it's important for me to start investing many hours into my life purpose now while I'm young but will it do me much good if my mental health does not improve? I'm sure many of you are much more developed than myself and any advice would be appreciated. I'm in a tough place right now that I need to work through. Thank you for taking the time to read this.
  4. I won't lie I do want to get a date. Not being attached to the outcome is something I want to make sure I do. I got rejected at the mall yesterday after I approached a girl and I was not really upset. I'm honestly more happy that I have been able to build the courage to talk to girls. Even though I have been getting rejected on all my approaches so far it feels good knowing that I'm facing my fears. I'm very scared every time I go talk to a girl. I'm not just doing this to get a girlfriend. I'm using these experiences to grow myself. But like you said, I do have to keep in mind the importance of presence.
  5. This is the approach I'm trying to take. I know things may take time. I still have a lot of work and fears to overcome. I still can't believe I got myself to talk to that girl at Starbucks. I was scared shitless. I have finally started my journey. I will be approaching more girls at the mall today. I just need to be persistent.
  6. Thanks man, I appreciate the advice.
  7. I walked up to a girl in Starbucks today. She was sitting by her self. I was scared out of my mind.I approached her and asked if I could join her. She said yes and we had a friendly conversation for about five minutes. She said she had to get going and study for a test. I was still too scared to ask for her number. But I was terrified of even approaching her. Before she left she told me her name then offered me a handshake. It felt good to at least conquer some of my fears. I will try to take things further next time. I'm aware it may take a thousand more approaches before I get a date with someone. But I feel a little more confident now. I have been afraid of girls my whole life. I thought she was going to tell me to get lost. I plan to do more approaches this weekend. Hopefully someone might find this helpful. I think girls actually respect guys who have the courage to approach them. I know Leo said he recommended stone cold approaches over any other way to meet women. I still have a lot of work to do and fears to overcome but it was a great first step for me. I would encourage anyone else to approach a stranger. It might not be as bad as you think and it will build up your courage.
  8. Thanks for the advice everyone. Me trying to love myself feels very uncomfortable, but I can see why its important. I have been doing spiritual practices. The hardest part is accepting who I am now on this journey. I know I can do much better. I will definitely check out that video on loving your self.
  9. How does anyone deal with mistakes they make? I hate making mistakes that affect others. I really fucking hate myself when I do this. I feel like my own personal wants are more important to me than serving others at times. The other day I saw someone in a wheelchair struggle to get his chair on the bus, I was sitting on. I was too shy to offer him help. This is just one recent example. I have made many worse mistakes than this. I have made many other mistakes where I put my own personal wants ahead of others. My wants can be very compulsive. When you catch yourself being a devil, how do you stop yourself? I know I need to be a much better person than I am now, but I still have all these selfish cravings such as: sex, popularity, and material things. How can I make myself a better person? Any advice would be much appreciated. I'm a devil who needs a good kick in the ass.
  10. Didn't Eckhart Tolle have to go through decades of mental suffering before he awakened?
  11. How do I give up low consciousness things, such as dumb non informative YouTube videos and junk tv? What are the benefits of doing this?
  12. I Actually enjoy cleaning my house. Even the toilets.
  13. Thanks, I will post any other doubts if they come.
  14. Just remember whatever reality is it has always been that way your entire life nothing has changed even before you started questioning things and nothing in your life is different now.You're not alone I have had your same exact fears. You will be fine.
  15. Thanks for the advice everyone. I'm not going to blow these experiences out of proportion. I will continue meditating in the dark. This is just the process of me facing my fears.