Daffcio

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About Daffcio

  • Rank
    Newbie
  • Birthday 02/08/2001

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  • Location
    Poland
  • Gender
    Male

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  1. I'm 19. My mother makes my angry, anxious and shameful. Everything she does makes things worse. She embarrasses me in front of my friends and then acts like nothing happend. She takes stuff out of my room and she took key to my room. She want to have full control over me. Emotional blackmail is normal for her. Every thing I do is criticized. School i picked, way of life I want to have everything is bad and not how she thinks it should be.She turns EVERYTHING against me. It's imposible to talk with her. I tried too many times to explain her why I don't want her to behave that way but she still does it. Every quarrel is the same. She says the same thing over and over again. That something is wrong with me, I should change myself, my friends. I hold anger iritation and frustiation for 2 week or month and then I snaps and of course she says that something is wrong with me despite the fact that i already told her why I'm angry. I'm not seeing any way out of that situation. I could say anything and she still will do what she does for years. When I go out she asks where, with who, why, when will I come back. She says that she won't sleep because I'm outside home and she need to get up early so I must come back before time she picked. I fucking hate her. She's like a fucking cancer in my life. I've never hated someone like that. And the worst part is that I already don't know if I'm fucked up and she is right. Help me. I haven't been happy in this house for years. For some of people this seems trivial but I really can't find a way out of this.
  2. @Michael569 Love it. Especially first one. @Alex Fallout NV is amazing but I never looked at this game in that way. Maybe I will try it again. @flowboy @Loving Radiance I heard that it's really hard to finish because of complicated puzzles but I will try that for sure
  3. @Aeris Really? I played Minecraft with my friends but experience was completly different. Not so great to be honest, maybe because we couldn't understand each other on what we want to do.
  4. Hi guys, I've play many many games in my life but after all these games I feel like very few are profund in spiritual way. I searching for games that include topics like: Nonduality Acceptance of death Nihilistic point of view Point of life Unconditional love There are some of I played: Planescape: Torment SOMA The Talos Principle I would really appreciate any suggestions!
  5. @Nichts @RawJudah Thanks guys for that! It's weird because I know that but I think I just needed someone to tell me that, thanks. I will try to, it really means freedom when I think about it.
  6. Hi, I've been doing my driving license for a while, I drove nearly 30 hours but I it's still difficult for me to learn it. Every time I have to go to my driving instructor I feel anxiety and stress. I do not understand how cars work at all but I already spent money on course and I would like to get driving license. I feel that I'm too stupid because I learn too slow. I can not park at all and I'm quite stressed while I'm driving. I feel that I'm handicapped because I can not learn how to drive. Is there any way to make driving more fun or less stress for me?
  7. Hi guys, I'm young fella in high school without life purpose and existential crisis. I can not see any reason to do anything, everything seems so shallow and fleeting, everyone is going to be forgotten and everything we built in past will be destroyed and vanished from existence. Why should I create something? I have holidays now and one day I was thinking about doing some exercises to look better when I back to school but immediately I asked myself: >For what? To look better? >Why do I want to look better? To be more attractive to girls? >Why do I care about it? It does not matter because we all be dead in 50-60 years and nobody will even remember me or things I created in 100 years. Even Jesus, Hitler, Gandhi or Yoda and George Lucas are going to be forgotten someday. More I ask myself that kind of questions the more I think I lived and still live just for pleasure and my own happiness I just question everything. I get up and I ask why, I play game and ask why. And pleasure is the only answer I get from myself. I feel like I live to just live but again for what? Are we living just for feels For every question I ask I realize that every answer is the same. It is all pointless. When I feel emotions which are not nice for my ego just don't care. I feel pain but i do not care at all. Why shouldn't I kill myself to release from this circle of pursuing pleasure and escaping pain? So why bother life? Just to feel good? If that's so, how to feel good? I do not know if this makes sense for you but that's how I feel. And sorry for all grammar mistakes I made here, english is not my first language.
  8. Hi, This going to be long and complicated story Also sorry for all grammar mistakes I did. I'm in highschool and I actually never had a girlfriend. 2 of girls I liked rejected me and few more I rejected. I think from the last rejection I had a scar for wanting to get in relationships. But week ago me and my friends from school were playing spin the bottle game and my friend asked one girl ( she is really beautiful btw) about which guy she likes. She said that it is me. And then other one asked her is she ready for relationship with me and she said yes. I've never looked at her in that way but I really wanted to because she was full package. We were quite good friends before that and I think she was giving me signals that she like me but i didn't wanted to go over that feeling again. When she said that I was stunned because I didn't expect that. I was thinking about what I really feel and didn't know what to say to her and I didn't wanted to lie so I think this though and week after which is today I told her that i like her and I want to get to know her better. She was stunned just like me week ago. One of my friends told me that she said she was joking about what she said week ago and also she don't want to get involved in relationship because of her ex boyfriend( she said that he changed her point of view on relationships). I texted her and told that I only want to know her better and I do not demand anything from her. She replied that she want things to be as they were as before. I don't know what should I think about this whole situation. Was I wrong about her feelings to me? Should I give up even if I still have feelings for her? Why Am I feeling so stupid?
  9. @TheAvatarState Thanks for that. I really appreciate it. I think it will help me a lot. @UDT Thanks also for your statement. It was comforting.
  10. Hello everyone. I don't think that this forum is the best for that kind of topic, but i did something pathetic and I don't know where i can find help to solve it. So, here's story. I'm underage, i will be of age in month. Few days ago i've been on a party. There were like 40 people in there. I know maybe half of them. I drank earlier alcohol and to be honest sometimes i was able to drink a lot. But this time i drank too much and too fast. After 2 hours i was so drunk that i faint and vomit all over my t-shirt. I remember only glimpses of it. My friends called my parents to take me home. First of all i did the next day i called my friend whom organized that party and apologized to him for my pathetic behavior and making trouble and i want to help him clean that place where party was. He said that's okay and nobody is angry at me for that and it could happend to everybody. I was relivied for few minutes but i'm still embarrassed and angry at myself. I've never felt so bad in my whole life. Right now i have free week of school but i'm scared of looking in my friends eyes after this and being judged. I'm aware of mistake I've done and i'm completly responsible for that. So i have a questions: How to stop feeling this 'bad' emotions? How can i use this to grow myself? How should i handle judgment from my school friends? (Also english is not my first language so sorry for any errors)