hikmatshiraliyev

I did not expect this post to generate so much interest. Apparently, no one has chatted with him personally. In any case, thank you all for your interest. Because Buba has partly shared his story here, I want to briefly talk about him and bring the discussion to a close. A few years ago, a man named Akilesh Ayyar made a post on this forum, in which he reported that he had reached enlightenment and was open to answering any questions. Buba read all the comments, including the recommendations from Akilesh Ayyar. According to him, the first step toward enlightenment should be psychoanalysis. Through psychoanalysis, one can get rid of their symptoms or at least experience some relief. So, that's what Buba did. He started with psychoanalysis. During the psychoanalysis, it turned out that he had repressed homosexuality. He couldn’t come to terms with this "fact" and just wanted to avoid and get rid of his homosexuality. You can clearly see in his earlier posts that he even searched for doctors and medications that could "cure" him of homosexuality. This became a major obsession. For the past four years, he had suicidal thoughts. We were so used to hearing about these suicidal thoughts that we couldn’t take them seriously anymore. Whenever he spoke about such things, I always thought, "typical Buba." This year, in February I believe, he carried something heavy for one of his friends, which caused the pain from his hernia to worsen. He consulted many doctors, each giving him different diagnoses: hernia, protrusion, etc. He thought: why did I carry something heavy while having a hernia? Only schizophrenics do such things. I’ve been in psychoanalysis for four years, but I still couldn't stop myself from doing that. This became a major obsession for him, thinking that he had ruined his life with his own hands. And in the end, he took his own life. No one was to blame. But I miss him so much that I can't describe it. Therefore, Leo Gura, no psychological problem is "not too serious." People do a lot of things for really stupid reasons. You don’t need to be mentally ill for that, because people are simply controlled by their feelings, thoughts, etc. People lose their functionality, burden their relationships, make themselves mentally and physically sick, and even kill others and themselves over these "not too serious" reasons. If you also have such friends, acquaintances, or family members, please give them the support they need, even if they don’t verbally ask for it. Today could be their last day.

@Someone here @Someone here There is no specific reason for it. A week ago, a close friend of mine sent me the link to his last post in the forum. I didn't know that he had written something here. That's why I posted here today.

@Someone here I didn't want to ruin your day, sorry. But I appreciate your feelings—you seem to be a very good and empathetic person. I've been shedding tears for 4 months. I felt a little better knowing that someone else is experiencing the same feelings as me @Leo Gura Yes, he had OCD.

@OBEler Although I don't like that he is being labeled as mentally ill, that is the main reason why he committed suicide. He was one of the most rational and intelligent people I have ever seen. Except when it came to his obsessions—he was very stubborn and insisted that these were not obsessions but real, objective problems. But in any case, thank you for sharing this. I really appreciate that you wanted to help him.

@OBEler He told me that himself. The doctors mentioned 'hernia,' 'protrusion,' etc. Then he started researching his symptoms on Reddit and decided that he has fibromyalgia. Based on the comments on Reddit, he also concluded that fibromyalgia has no cure.

@OBEler I'm not saying that he didn't have fibromyalgia. It just wasn't diagnosed by a doctor. Maybe he really had it. Once he wrote to me: "You know, the problem isn't fibromyalgia. I don't have severe pain or anything like that, just discomfort. The main problem is my obsession with the fact that I've ruined my life."

@OBEler He had OCD. For several years, he suffered from various obsessions. Medication therapy did not work for him, nor did talk therapy. Recently, he had been carrying a heavy load, which caused his hernia to worsen. Then, this fibromyalgia obsession began. Fibromyalgia was not diagnosed; it was a major obsession. I recently saw and read the post in which you were writing to each other. Did you also chat in person?

Hi everyone, I haven't posted here in the forum for a long time. I want to ask you something. The forum user 'Buba' was a very close friend of mine. He committed suicide on April 29, 2024. Since then, I have been in deep grief. If anyone who has spoken to him in the forum recently could share with me what he talked about, it would help me process my thoughts. In the last few weeks, I somewhat neglected him during difficult times, and as a result, I feel guilty. Thank you very much.

Is meditating with metronome an effective way to develop concentration? I've heard many times that, it is less effective than other techniques, and they offered breathing meditation. But, i don't get the point. What is your thought?

Don't get me wrong, i really like these old-school, self improvement videos. They changed me a lot. But when i watch your videos, after a while comes a feeling that, when Leo says something, it is truth. I take some information for granted, because Leo has it said. And i think i am not alone. Especially low developed persons are doing this when they try to develop themselves. When the information is right, it is most of the time harmless. But in some cases it is the opposite. If you say "stop going to work, and start your own business right now", some people will stop enjoying their job. Or another example. You talk about spiritualism and enlightenment a lot. That's why i stopped 2 years ago reading Quran. When Leo says the truth is not Islam, it is absolutely correct. You have this power here. Do you think that your thoughts have changed in some topics? If you record these videos again, would you change something?

Is it possible to create any kind of business that later you don't do anything but getting money?

Plan: Going to Germany, studying Medicine even i don't like it, maybe it will get better with time. Then going to Amsterdam, gaining lots of psychedelic experiences. Maybe then i can find my life purpose, or start a business. Now i simply have a lot of fear. Is this a good plan?

I am 22 years old, and entered medical school 5 years ago. University is already over, and i know nothing about medicine. I live in Azerbaijan and it is very easy to finish medical school without learning. Education is very low quality, they give you exam answers, and you can give money to have good grades. In last 5 years the only thing that i have done was german learning. I learned it because i planned to go to Germany and study medicine there. But, i dont feel any passion to medicine. Maybe i didnt learn anything and this is the reason. But it is very hard for me to learn it. Should i do it? Or should i search my life purpose and quit medicine? 1. I do not wanna live in Azerbaijan. All of my friends are going to another country and i feel very lonely. 2. I have no money. I can teach here german and get some money to live. But it is not something that i want to do for years. 3. Family tension. I have a deep belief that if i quit medicine, my mother will not love me anymore, and there is a feeling that my friends going upwards, i downwards. I feel very bad because of my bad life decisions. I screwed up everything. Dont know what to do. Even suicidal thoughts come sometimes when i think about my life. Help me.

Hey guys. Every day i learn german 6 hours, practice meditation for 1 hour. But, when i want to do any other thing, for example: socializing, having sex, listening music, watching a movie, etc. anything that i didn't planned before, makes me feel stressed. I feel that there is no place for joy in my life. Feeling is, when i listen music my mind says that, it is better to do extra german or meditation, or something else productive. It's like i am addicted to doing work and competition. I don't know how to plan my day effectively. Is it okay to live everything very planned? x hours of meditation, y hours of socializing, z hours of rest, etc?

I do 60 minutes concentration practice every single day, but i can not stay motionless during meditation. I blink, move a little bit, swallow, sometimes even krack my fingers. These are very tempting feelings that i feel in my body when i try to sit still. What are your advices?