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Everything posted by Dan502

  1. Maybe try creating some separation here and there. Don't go straight home after work, go to a library (for example). Get up and at some point during the day, go to a coffee shop and work there. Swipe dating apps on the train or bus or when you're walking somewhere. Watch out for lamp posts though.
  2. @MAYA EL love it
  3. Look for the person who... Sees a certain magic to existence Embodies some degree of effortlessness Behaves authentically Reasons dispassionately Is sober (yet may seem drunk!) Doesn't identify too strongly Speaks truthfully Acts benevolently Lives simply and naturally I'm no authority on this topic, I took these qualities from the A.org video about what we really want.
  4. @Angelite thank you.
  5. @Angelite when you pray, do you use anything? Your arms for instance? My point is, sometimes in order to talk to God, we use things. We might think well, psychedelics aren't the same thing as arms. That's a fair observation. Different people use different things. I'm not suggesting you try psychedelics but I wonder if maybe you came to this forum for a reason. Are you looking for something? This can be a useful place if you have a problem or something on your mind. The people are helpful... mostly... Or did you just come here to slag off psychedelics?
  6. @marinaaniram do you feel as though there isn't as much meaning in your life as you would like?
  7. Thank God Tammy seems to be recovering well. I'm hopeful that Peterson will complete his rehab. I see his decision to check into the facility as a mark of sensibilty. It was also good to see Michaela (I may have spelled that wrong) giving us a short update on the last few months.
  8. I think consciousness, love and truth could all be acceptable answers. Consciousness seems too central to the work to be entertaining. Love, I think has already been celebrated a fair amount recently but it still feels like the strongest out of the three. Truth I think could be a contender except it feels a bit abstract or neutral to be linked to 'success' (possibly because I don't understand truth that deeply and tend to get a bit nihilistic). I'm going to guess Love. If I get a bonus guess, I'd go a bit left-field and say something more akin to open-mindedness. I think courage would also be a reasonable answer although I expect Leo would flesh it out a bit and explain what courage is in terms of other things. I also like @John Lula's response.
  9. Sometimes "How can I interact with lower stages?" might mean: "How can I responsibly deal with my own emotional reactions to people who hold and manifest different beliefs?" There's an element of fun to be found in this work. I find it can help to share your accounts of interactions with a third person. Someone fairly neutral. Even if they aren't familiar with spiral dynamics.
  10. @Skanzi what a long post! I like that you're taking a holistic approach that gives some weight to your direct experience, rather than just demonising certain "bad" foods. If we become overly cautious, we might miss out on life. I also agree with Leo that direct experience is not a completely reliable measure of whether a certain food will be good for your body. In fact, in many cases it may be misleading.
  11. 1) Don't pursue money. 2) Pursue what you're interested in. 3) Maybe you'll make some money. 4) Maybe life will fuck you in the ass. Points 3 and 4 are true either way.
  12. To me, the sum 1+1 seems to occur here in a different position, on my phone screen, to the answer 2. It also has a different shape. To be absolutely equal, would they need to be the same in all respects, so that they would be indistinguishable from each other? Or would I need to drop my assumed identification with myself, my perception and my distinction? If I (or more likely one of you more developed members let's face it) managed to do so, would these things become paradoxically distinguishable and indistinguishable? Are they already?
  13. Would you feel less terrified if the girl took the lead and kissed you? That's pretty much how I lost my kissginity. It was NYE 2000, she was 16, hammered on Hooch (vodka lemonade) and pretty much forced herself on me. Drunk bimbos aside, if you want to develop confidence with women, I'd suggest starting with actions that are within and/or on the edge of what feels comfortable. I suppose a person might work up to it in steps over time, like: Messaging, meeting and talking, holding hands, cuddling, a peck on the cheek, a lingering peck on the lips, french kissing. One thing I've found useful is to slowly practice telling the girl how you feel and letting her know up-front if you're nervous or inexperienced. Most women are very understanding and might even offer to help you overcome your fear. You might find out that she has fears too. I'm not saying you have to do any of this though. Do what feels right to you.
  14. @crab12 I like the thought of taking small steps in the practical directions that you helpfully suggested, while keeping Nahm's advice in mind.
  15. Every so often at work, I get asked to do something, like review some documents and unless they're introduced to me clearly, I get overwhelmed with fear and anger, refuse bluntly and get into trouble. This pattern happened for years. It threatens my survival. I doubt it can be fixed. I suspect it's deeply linked to my problems relating to people. I'm very introverted. I can't do romantic relationships at all. Was a virgin til 29. I have an IQ of around 130 and did well at school and university. I've seen two psychologists who couldn't find any obvious disorders. I'm within the border range for an autism spectrum disorder (who isn't?) and have already had psychodynamic therapy for two years, to the point where I ran out of things to say. Big 5 personality tests show low agreeableness, high neuroticism, low conscientiousness, low openness and low extroversion. Any thoughts welcome.
  16. @crab12 cheers, it's fascinating to me that people see this as an intellectual problem. I may take a look at the book.
  17. Thank you. My brain's saying why can't we bundle love and happiness together with all those negative feelings/experiences you listed and call reality neutral? I'm not suggesting my brain is any kind of authority on such matters.
  18. I always forget love.
  19. Thank you so much @Melwyn, @Bill W and @Nahm I think it would be great if I could pinpoint a moment in the pattern when I could intervene. I don't think it's work-specific, let's just put it that way. I don't *want* to work anywhere, I came here looking for comfort; an easy job. I don't like work at all in general. I saw a career coach last year. I've applied to study psychotherapy too although that takes years, costs a bomb and may not even work out so I need another job in the meantime. @Nahm to me your posts stand out on this forum as exceptionally wise although that's just my opinion. I got bullied under ten, hated preschool (just sat around crying while other kids played), under five I was left unattended three times, once I set fire to a sofa, another time I tried to shave and cut myself, the third time I cut my lip when I fell on a bedside cabinet at 2 years old and needed stitches, I was also in a pushchair accident (my parents' friend was running with it, tripped, and it flipped over and landed upside down in nettles). I was born six weeks early because I wasn't getting fed correctly inside the womb. I was put in an incubator and my mother couldn't be with me for the first few days after I was born. I also doubt I got enough cuddles.
  20. Responding from a different angle, I've tried to list here, in as few words as possible, what must be "moved beyond" or in some sense transcended, to move past (or perhaps "integrate" would be a better way of putting it) each level. Beige - Base instict Purple - Tribal identification Red - Extreme egocentricism Blue - Mono culturalism Orange - Individualistic materialism Green - Idealistic environmentalism Yellow - Conceptual distinctions
  21. How do you think the US president will handle the recession, beyond the obvious response of blaming people for it? Britain's planned departure from the EU pretty much means America has itself a lapdog.
  22. If you didn't do it, what else would you most likely do instead and how does that compare?