Paulus Amadeus

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Posts posted by Paulus Amadeus

  2. Posted

    13 hours ago, AmalieRuby said:

    Thanks you all so much for your answers.

    To the one's saying I should keep him as a fuckbuddy or that I should've already sleept with him: I've never been in a relationship and also never had sex and I'm not saying that I would never do the casual sex thing but I just don't want to loose my virginty like that.

    I'm still not really sure about what I'm supposed to do but I'm now trying to find out what I'm feeling in the next few days and if I can win some distance to the whole situation. And yes I'm going to keep putting myself first because that's the only thing to do if I don't want to get hurt. I've also thought about diffrent future scenarios if I keep in touch with him and it would feel very weird to just take him back when he is done fucking around. On the other hand I hate that he's the first guy in years that I actually liked and was very into and that maybe just the timing is wrong. As you can see I'm still pretty confused, but it helps a lot to read diffrent opinions on the subject.

    Ah you are a virgin, okay. I see how that changes the situation. 

  3. Posted

    1 hour ago, zoey101 said:

    I agree with the other posts.

    If you feel it would hurt you to even just be friends, then maybe just start by giving you two a little space at first. Try to focus on you for a little and what makes you happy. If you feel like you are able to have that kind of relationship (friends), then you can try it. 

    Don't focus on how your decision will effect him. He is focused on his happiness right now, so it isn't wrong or selfish for you to do the same. 

    Good Luck!

    Maybe she should be focussed a little bit more on what he wants. She is only talking about what she wants and what she doesn't want.

    Seems pretty entitled to me. If I was her I would want the people who are in my life to feel good and be happy. i don't see any if that in the post she wrote. Just interested in not getting hurt and getting things her way. Not the way you are going to ever attract a non-needy guy.

  4. Posted

    @SFRL wow you are such a charicature of a shitty pick up dude. So you sleep with women casually, but when they want to do the same you respect them less? Pretty disguisting man. And you are not getting laid much with that attitude, I can promise you that right now. 

     

    @AmalieRuby If you want a cool guy, you are going to have to be a little bit more okay with having sex earlier. There will be some serious resentment building up in the guy you are dating if you are just going to make him wait for forever. Try to loosen up and have some fun. Sometimes you have to earn your way into a man's heart. He should just want to be in a relationship with you from the get go? With non-needy dudes that is just not how it works. You have to grow on him slowly and then he will choose you. And there is nothing you can force about it.

    So, loosen up, have some fun and get laid! if someone has sex with you but then doesn't want to be in relationship with you it is not the end of the world. Happens to everyone!

  5. Posted

    @zoey101 Well if you are freaking out about that you can't let go then you should let go of your desire to let go. Just be fine with the total chaos that is your thoughts and emotions. Not as a technique to get rid of them! Just because you are okay with this chaos being there. Then you give up resistance to what is and your life will be much smoother. 

  10. Posted

    Yeah you can usually tell who of the two of you has sexual blockages. Does he get very tense in bed or do you? Or maybe both. In any case, you can work through sexual blockages by doing meditation, yoga, breathing excersises etc. Or maybe you just don't have any sexual chemistry, in which case I would say move on. 

    But sounds like there is just some weird stuff going on with him. And maybe because he is distant you really want his approval and love etc because now your self-image depends on it. If this is the case I would say move on. 

  12. Posted

    10 hours ago, Elisabeth said:

     

    There a lots of kinds of nonmonogamy, and loads of different personality traits which leads a person to choose them. Not all feminine is submissive, and not all masculine is outgoing. The woman's desire could be wild and unpredictable. She could have a great capacity to form bonds really quickly. The man could be introverted and stable, or focused on his purpose, without that much desire for sex advantures or more than one relationship.

    And that's just one modality out of many.

    I definitely see your point. But I think the man you are describing now would not be a very good fit with that women in the long run. Evolutionary speaking for a woman the threath of non-monogamy is loosing her man. So if she is really sure that her man loves her and wants her etc she can be fine with him sleeping with other people quiet easily. For the man however the threat is 'raising someone elses babies'. So if his girl is sleeping around a lot, the only way his genes would still feel happy is if he is doing the same.

     

    I realise that you can't explain everything by evolution but I still think this is accurate for almost all the cases. I think it is definitely possible to overcome your evolutionary drives but it makes everything much much harder. That's why I think the man should have more sexual partners than the woman. Or at the very least not be in the sitaution where the woman is sleeping around and he isn't. That will be really hard to bear. 

  13. Posted

    18 hours ago, Elisabeth said:

     

    I call bullshit on that. There's plenty of non-monogamous relationships (I know them online and irl) where the woman is leading the show. It's a generalization that suits your particular wants. It's ok to want it for yourself, but as a statement, drop it.

    Yeah but if the woman is leading the show than most likely the relationship is pretty unfulfilling for both. If the woman is feminine en the man is masculine that is. But sure, I don't know everything, maybe it's bullshit.

  15. Posted

    I'm in an open relationship too. Works really well for me. 

    I think these are kind of the things that need to be in place for an open relationship to work. 

    1. The man in the relationship, on avarage, has more sexual partners than the woman in the relationship. 

    2. Both of you love eachother whether or not this relationship continues or not.

    3. There should be loads of honest communication about deisres, insecurity etc. 

    4. You both have a lot more than the relationship going on in your life

    5. You both are largely non-needy, non-jealous, non-insecure.

     

    If this stuff is all in place and you have found a compatible partner this stuff can be awesome. Otherwise it will be quiet hard. Still, even if you fuck it up I still think an open relationship has huge potential for growth. 

    Who's idea was this open relationship btw?

  16. Posted

    yeah it's not all about determination. Maybe you don't have anything interesting to say in your blogs or youtube channel. And then it doesn't matter how many blogs you've written or video's you shoot. People just don't care. Or maybe you are not spending enough time marketing your content. People are usually not just going to stumble upon your content in the beginning. Very impressive that you wrote so many blogs though! That's some serious determination. 

  18. Posted

    10 hours ago, billiesimon said:

    Best response, thanks man!!

    Yes, I've noticed this stuff recently because I'm studying pickup and starting out with self actualization. I've discovered that being very attractive and charismatic is the baseline.

    But here's the tricky question: if you are very attractive for her, and she likes you a lot, is it ok to give her support and affection?
    And will she give you affection and emotional support back? Again, I mean in a relationship where she is very attracted to you and you are affectionate, not ice cold.

    I don't have much experience, only 2 relationships, pardon.

    Dude to have the relationship you have to have these two things in place:

     

    1. Be a sexy, interesting, loving and charming dude (and be an 'alfa male' etc etc etc)

    2. Find a loving, sweet girl who likes you for you

    Most girls are selfish just like most people are selfish. They are not in a point in their self-development where they can care for anybody else then themselves. If you yourself are also in this camp than you have no chance of finding a girl who is actually capable of loving. 

    There are definitely some girls out there who have what you want. But most girls don't. No matter how alfa you get. These girls might suck you dick but they will never love you. Cause they only care about themselves. So you got to start developing an intuition for seeing which girls are capable of loving and which aren't. And then if you are lucky in the future you will find yourself in some beautiful relationship.

     

    You will have to be capable of truly loving too though, which you probably aren't. These girls are in high demand because people can sense their loving and sweet nature. So you really need to be a pretty awesome and loving guy to get one of these. 

     

     

  22. Posted

    depends on what you eat ofcourse. I think it is very much possible to be vegan and not supplement. But I would say just listen to your body. I have been going largely vegan lately and I have not been supplementing nor have I been planning the amount of protein I take in etc. Just been listening to my body and it's been going great. Feeling lighter and more energetic than ever. Did loose some weight but I've also cut out a lot of carbs so that makes sense I guess

  23. Posted

    yeah that's pretty crazy. Maybe some old wounds and trauma's surfaced because of the sugery? So could be that you are actually going through a cleansing and that this will be good for you in the long run. But that's just an educated guess ;). Maybe see if you can be mindfull of everything that is happening within you?

  25. Posted

    Yeah change happens over years not days usually. And why is it so bad to be affraid? Maybe you can just enjoy being nervous and then performing well despite off it. Could be a challenge that could make you grow right? You shouldn't fear fear. Just accept it when it is there. You'll be seeing a lot of fear in your life anyway so it's good to establish a good relationship to it early on.