Cocolove

Have you meditated? After years of horrible insomnia adopting a hardcore serious consistent meditation practice nearly cured me. Try this and come back if it doesn't work. Your nervous system is jacked up, it could be physical, or there is emotional stuff that you never give yourself the chance to sit alone with, without distraction. Then you try to sleep and it all comes out, it can even be subtle, just a racing mind and feeling of unease. Or you just need to calm the fuck down in general, body awareness, mindfullness, so you can get out of fight or flight. The fact that you need to be so delerious to sleep points to you being in constant fight or flight. Does this match your lived experience?

I liked the paul chek aubrey marcus podcast. Paul Chek is a pretty cool dude, he likes ken wilber and Jung. I think for exploring those 'demon' 'exorcism' 'realms' topics he is probably one of the most grounded perspectives you'll have. I didn't realize how much he had tripped at super high doses. I just know him for his excellent holistic health information.

Oh god I missed a lot. Just a bit of it actually.

That's true, I did notice that Aubrey did seem to mention a lot that he had difficult feelings come up. In my experience this happens with me and all my poly friends, but over time of working through it and practicing unconditional love, you can experience pure compersion (opposite of jealous) and feel that way much less. I think he is just being honest about his initial struggles. That's the thing, is that you don't because love isn't limited. Yes there are human life related limitations on what you do with your time and energy, but Vylana doesn't have to work, to Aubrey she could be going to the library or the beach, spending time with hot dreadlock dude doesn't detract from their relationship. The way you frame this in value dynamics makes it seem like relationships have to be coming from this low stage of development. At turquoise and above, people are still going to be having sex, and are they really going to be possessive, value-seeking, even at all? Love doesn't need to be some sexual value exchange, it can be unconditionally actually wanting what is best for the person. Read the relationship anarchy manifesto, a classic stage green document. In it they say, if someone would live a more aligned life with another partner in the future, why would you ask for exclusive commitment from them? How is that loving. That is a possessive selfish type of love. For sure the ego can use poly to maximize value for itself, and most of the time this is what happens. Perhaps Aubrey frames his whole burning man threesome escapades as more spiritual than they are, but don't fall for the pre trans fallacy! Poly doesn't have to be that way, and monogamy is an outdated product of survival needs.

fr triggering the dormant gay man that's hidden deep in my psyche.

Halfway through the new one with hot deep voice dreadlock man. I would encourage all you who are so against polyamory to check your biases there, there is really nothing wrong with it and it can be done in a healthy way, even though it often isn't (just like monogamy). The way aubrey describes this deep love for someone overcoming jealousy, because you want them to experience the fullest deepest connections without limitation is really how it works in my experience. It's not about chasing sex but not limiting your connection with other souls. In a post-post-modern stage of development relationships really don't need to be monogamous, although they can be. There's a lot of cultural associations we have with monogamy that we can be blind to. I've posted about polyamory on the forum like a year ago or something, as I was suprised it wasn't discussed here more given how much it connects with unconditional love and mature ego development.

@Inliytened1 How about the lens of spiral dynamics? of personality disorders, insecurity? Of coming from a place of hate versus love? Yes the democratic establishment is fucked up but there are levels to these things. As a collective entity democrats are terribly corrupt, but also hold a pretty reasonable set of economic & social standards compared to most of human history. Trump literally frauds his golf performances like Kim Jong Un.

About to go on 10 day vipassana with dhamma vishudda, are they going to make me sit cross legged? I always have had bad knees and recently injured them to the point where i couldn't walk for a month. So I'm planning to bring a chair. I think it's pretty reasonable that for energy work, kundalini, certain types of meditation, lotus and other poses are beneficial. But I don't think it limits you. One of the kriya yoga books said that even in a chair at least crossing your feet at the ankles is beneficial for energetic reasons while sitting.

Leo what do you recommend for vaping dmt? or anyone. I had a yocan vaporizer for it for years but it started to taste like metals so I was probably inhaling some fucked shit. I really don't want to do that. But it was the only way I could really get to breakthrough. I would like to maybe find some kind of glass setup for it. Maybe the machine or some kind of glass pipe, but I want it to really work. I've taken a 10 month long DMT break and I'm going to get back into it after some fasting and a retreat. It really is the most beautiful thing. Personally I love NN DMT but have never had access to 5meo. I love learning the crazy things consciousness can do and it still regularly produces awakenings as well.

my knees simply cannot stand it. I meditate walking, standing, or in a chair with back straight. Any amount of regular cross-legged meditation causes serious knee problems for me. I've always struggled with knees but got them under control with proper biomechanics. If it affects me so much it will probably wear away at yours over time just more subtly.

I've done this a couple times recently but its hard to not get into a negative state spiral instead of a positive one. I think I'll just wait until I have people to go with, I see the value but as someone who struggles to get traction it really helps to not go alone.

Use it to move into yellow brah and love them unconditionally brah. At this point they are in a crazy maga cult there is no getting them out of it. I'm in the same situation. When it comes up, rise above it, float above concept and human affairs and pretend you're watching beavers debate who should be president of the dam and who should be sent downstream to the other dam.

I spend hours today talking to fundamentalist blue christians who take the bible completely literally. And recently have been around a lot of green new age hippies. It's crazy how rare it is to find someone who isn't deluding themselves about how "spiritual" all their beliefs are. I really apreciate leo's work because if i hadnt been following him and practicing for the past 9 years id be so much more wrapped up in really believing in petty human bullshit. The actualized community sounds fun lol ill pay $1000 to go do ayahuasca together and we can also circle around leo and jerk his epistemic cock.

I definitely agree but like any technique the daily practice helps prepare you. I've also only ever had an awakening from kriya yoga on a hardcore retreat. But yea self inquiry without a certain level of concentration and consciousness is pretty useless. I'm taking a break from psychedelics, like 2 months in right now. I'm more focusing on raising my baseline level of consciousness while I'm in the bodymind, going to do a 10 day vipassana soon. I think this is an important foundation for long-term psychedelic exploration to be safe and effective. Meditation without psychedelics can get you nowhere after many years, but psychedelics without raising your level of consciousness and purifying the pain-body can be destabilizing, dangerous, and really just won't get you to the same insights. I know so many people who don't do consciousness work and they get so lost in random symbolism and meaning from psychedelics, they learn practical and deep things, but it certainly isn't deconstructing their reality because they have no reference for that. I've always had the deepest awakenings tripping after months of deep meditation.

@TimStr Well once they bond to the metal they're bigger and should come out easier. Yea I don't see the appeal compared to if ALA and stuff t have more of an effective track record. Certainly these chemicals all have some dangers, but the risk/benefit is very clear if you are heavy metal toxic. Personally I just have a couple symptoms and have no idea if my main immune system condition is related to heavy metals, so its hard to tell if chelating is really worth it. I might try a couple rounds to see how I feel. I know Leo recommends a challenge test but Cutler really recommends against it due to redistribution, especially if you haven't done a couple rounds first. And he says you can usually tell by how the detox makes you feel if its doing anything or not. Plus we all must have some level of mercury.