28 cm unbuffed

@PenguinPablo Yes and no. My mind is fooling me, that's for sure. Honestly, I have no idea why I'm such a loser in this area of life. I didn't have any positive experiences with women. I know it sounds bizarre, but that's my sad reality. @The0Self In my case, it was rather that the girls were falling in love with me after knowing me better and better lol, not the other way around. Whatever you say sounds true, but that has nothing to do with approaching strangers and talking to them, it still seems a little bit out there 🤷 I can't imagine going to a bar in the evening (or even doing the same on the street), approaching a stranger there, talking to her and it's all like smooth, we talk, whatever. It doesn't sound realistic or doable. Maybe if you're a tall, handsome, rich, Spanish, 50 Shades of Grey type of guy, then yeah, maybe. But still, it would look weird on the street even if that guy did that. If you're not that guy in the club that I mentioned, they will look at you like you're weird and sue you for harassment if you don't go away lmao. Don't want to be negative or something here, but what I'm talking about sounds like reality and what happens (at least in my country) and what I observed. If you're not tall and super handsome, girls will of course shame you and ridicule you, let's be honest here, if you're the Grey guy, they will think you're the most charming and confident guy because you walked up to her. That's how females act, that's brutal, harsh, and fucked up 🤷 That's why I'm not so eager to do a game really. And it's not like "It's just your belief dude", no, I did that even with neutral agenda, like asking for a direction or something and girls are just like that towards you if you're not good-looking, they're just acting like bitches, you're nothing to them🤷 Bitch look, "Go away", "you're like a worm to me", yeah, let's dedicate 2-5 years of my life to pursue that, sounds inspirational. @Leo Gura Of course, there will be cases where a girl will talk to you, be somehow nice, maybe even give you her number or something and these happened to me too. But it's only because she doesn't want to be rude, she does that but it's not really being a good person or anything, it's like a nice guy syndrome for a woman rather. Other than these two kinds of responses, I didn't have anything other than that really, positives were only slutty girls that wanted to fuck and then ghosted you if you are not being the fuck-tool, that they were looking for. Zero empathy, cold-ass ghosting with no remorse, see you later 🙄

@Leo Gura Yeah, that's exactly what I'm going to do, thank you Leo 🥵

And what do you guys think about the Law of Attraction and all of that destiny, airy-fairy approach? I know it might be a great trap and excuse, to avoid socializing, approaching, or making efforts to do more dating, but in the end maybe if someone is destined for you, you will eventually be together no matter what (or something along those lines). Like soulmate or something like that lol Might that be true or that's delusion level hard?

@Leo Gura I understand that, but I still didn't do the basic, fundamental work on my social skills and confidence with other people in general. I don't want to brute force the process, I know that it might be just bitch talk and excuses, but that's where I am right now. @Rishabh R I think he meant that the growth that you get from that process > gf

@Leo Gura I'm going through a freaking dark night of a soul experience and trauma release, I just let it do its work for now. I'm also shedding layers of "nice guy-ism" simultaneously. Then I'll start being more social and maybe work my way up to cold approaching with that. Pushing myself doesn't work, I did this in the past and now I'm back in the same place. I'll get there, just by using a step-by-step approach this time. Edit: When I read a post from @Israfil yesterday, about just doing more stuff, and becoming a more social and interesting person in general, I felt a great relief. Now, I wasn't judging myself about how much of a loser I was, because I was not approaching and then I was a lot lighter and felt free. I know having goals, being strict with them, and healthy pressure are good tools, but in this case, I was doing more harm than good to myself I think

@Israfil It's not that easy to find a social circle, as I'm here like alone in a new city, I'm trying my best tho I'll start attending martial arts (Saturday) and yoga classes (Sunday) and will also go out on Fridays and Saturdays to some Meetup meetings, don't have any better ideas for now. I'm also doing gym/sauna 5 times a week, but it's not like I will just approach random people there and talk to them. I do some chit-chatting here and there, but it's nothing sustainable or long-term.

@Israfil Yeah, I'm doing that. With my career, with my university, and also with my YouTube channel. Plus exercise, plus martial arts, plus yoga (I'm also a polymath lol). I'm not that fast to open myself tho, so it might take some time (I'm a highly sensitive person / HSP) ;P I'm just kind of mad because nice-looking girls are looking at me here and there and I have no balls to do a straight approach. But I think that's just not my nature, I'm too sensitive to just go in, hard as motherfucker.

@Israfil yeah that's exactly the conclusion that I'm coming up with too, cold approaching is robotic, numbers game, that's like a brute force approach, not an organic process also, it doesn't make the social aspect of your life to magically disappear, even if you find a gf for yourself by being lucky. you will have a gf, but still no social life, and you will probably lose a gf am I right with these conclusions?

@Spiritual Warrior I'm being real, other than that - I don't like you, you have no idea what you're talking about, go away

@Spiritual Warrior I did, that's who I am at my core, and that's something natural for me. But it's not like people notice that while walking past by you on a street or from a short, initial conversation. Other than that, I remember you from another post of mine. You're the clueless nice guy that likes to act like a smart ass, aren't you?

@Israfil But where do the women come from lol I moved to a new city, and I have a couple of friends from work, but 0 close ones, how do you guys want me to build social connections? I tried a couple of meetups and stuff like that, but it's bullshit in a long term. I have no idea where to look, other than cold-approach / dating apps (which do not work). I don't like the cold approach/night clubs idea that much tbh, but I have no other place to go really to find a girl 🤷

@mmKay I read it and checked it out on YouTube, I don't think that's the same. I do the Wim Hof breathing technique every day in the morning, but it's not like I get this attack or something right after that or even shortly after that. I don't lose my breath. It happens spontaneously throughout the day, it's like an emotional release, and it's with 99.99% probability because of a trauma, because that's the exact place where I first experienced it (the traumatic experience itself).

@Mannyb Yeah, maybe that's just a story, but it hurts like motherfucker

@mmKay I'm processing tons of trauma this autumn, I feel the pain in my chest area for hours sometimes (I have to lay down on a bed and feel into it). It already lasts for like month or two. Everyday. That's a lot and I have to honor that for now, I tried to push myself through it, but I got triggered too easily, like a wounded animal.

@Miguel1