Why do girls not find their boyfriends creeeeeeeeeeeeeeeepy?

[Consept]

3 minutes ago, mr_engineer said:

The first three are illegal. The first one is 'stalking', the second one is 'ogling', the third one is 'sexual assault'. And, the fourth one is not illegal but it's not advisable because it comes across as 'narcissistic' and 'objectifying'. So, I would prefer to not use the word 'creepy' for it, I'd rather say 'objectifying'. 

I'm not sure they arent illegal but even if they are, they're still creepy behavior. You could say the examples are potential precursors to illegal action.

Also do you accept that there are many crimes committed against women, rape, abuse etc that are predicated by creepy behavior?

[Nemra]

5 minutes ago, mr_engineer said:

This is because of the cultural definition of 'masculinity', which is exclusively about 'conquest' and 'achievement'. That's not the reality of what masculinity is about! In reality, masculinity is about providing and protecting. 

You can justify your behavior by saying that you are providing and protecting.

 

[Nemra]

7 minutes ago, mr_engineer said:

irrespective of the power-balance.

But is there really a balance of power?

[Nemra]

But all of this depends on the context.

[mr_engineer]

22 minutes ago, Consept said:

I'm not sure they arent illegal but even if they are, they're still creepy behavior. You could say the examples are potential precursors to illegal action.

Either they're illegal, or they're not. 

22 minutes ago, Consept said:

Also do you accept that there are many crimes committed against women, rape, abuse etc that are predicated by creepy behavior?

There are also many crimes that are not predicated by what you're calling 'creepy behavior'. It really just boils down to how the woman is feeling, which can be very different from objective reality. 

21 minutes ago, Understander said:

You can justify your behavior by saying that you are providing and protecting.

 

Either you are providing and protecting, or you're not. If you are, you're masculine. And, if you're using this fact to justify toxic behavior, it's not the 'masculinity' in and of itself that's 'toxic', it's the behavior that it's being used to justify! 

15 minutes ago, Understander said:

But is there really a balance of power?

I meant 'imbalance'. 

Edited March 12 by mr_engineer

[Nemra]

4 minutes ago, mr_engineer said:

Either you are providing and protecting, or you're not. If you are, you're masculine. And, if you're using this fact to justify toxic behavior, it's not the 'masculinity' in and of itself that's 'toxic', it's the behavior that it's being used to justify! 

It's not that simple.

 

31 minutes ago, Understander said:

But all of this depends on the context.

 

[Consept]

@mr_engineer

If you're overall point is that women should take responsibility for how they feel, shouldnt you take responsibility for how you feel when the word creep is used? 

[mr_engineer]

Just now, Consept said:

@mr_engineer

If you're overall point is that women should take responsibility for how they feel, shouldnt you take responsibility for how you feel when the word creep is used? 

As someone who does take responsibility for how I feel about it, I propose banning the use of this word from dating-discourse. 

I think it's fine to expect others to treat you with respect, right?! It's disrespectful to call someone 'creepy' (which is another word for 'unlovable') and we should not tolerate the use of this word towards us. 

[NoSelfSelf]

https://www.instagram.com/reel/C4HMPDeMbLZ/?igsh=ejM1bzRkZGRqaDR2

Take a moment to watch the reason for all the hardships faced on this side of the planet.

 

[Consept]

9 minutes ago, mr_engineer said:

As someone who does take responsibility for how I feel about it, I propose banning the use of this word from dating-discourse. 

I think it's fine to expect others to treat you with respect, right?! It's disrespectful to call someone 'creepy' (which is another word for 'unlovable') and we should not tolerate the use of this word towards us. 

You feel bad or disrespected when someone calls you that, but that's subjective to you, other people might not care. So just because you feel bad doesn't mean the word should be banned. 

You're suggesting that if women feel uncomfortable around men for whatever reason they should take responsibility for it and not blame the gut. Similarly you should take responsibility for how you feel and not blame anyone else 

[mr_engineer]

5 minutes ago, Consept said:

You feel bad or disrespected when someone calls you that, but that's subjective to you, other people might not care. So just because you feel bad doesn't mean the word should be banned. 

Ah, so we're doing it like that. 

Why don't we unban and un-taboo the use of the N-word too, while we're at it?! Sounds like a fun society to live in! 

5 minutes ago, Consept said:

You're suggesting that if women feel uncomfortable around men for whatever reason they should take responsibility for it and not blame the gut. Similarly you should take responsibility for how you feel and not blame anyone else 

The goal here is to have working relationships. So, if you're feeling uncomfortable around other people who aren't outright disrespecting you, that's a you-problem. 

If the goal were to atomize the society and make everyone lonely, then it makes sense to blame the guy for even existing in her vicinity. Then, we can encourage all disrespectful behavior, including the use of the word 'creepy'. 

Edited March 12 by mr_engineer

[Leo Gura]

Enough.