How to deal with envy?

[Magnanimous]

As I grow in personal development I find myself growing envious of others around me who are ahead of me in their personal growth. It doesn't even have to be related to personal development but in any area of life really. How to deal with/eliminate this?

[Yimpa]

Reminds me of my previous post:

 

[mmKay]

Comparing yourself to others is a form of self judgement. Judgement by nature is mostly involuntary, which means it will just happen naturally, so entirely stopping it is unlikely , not to say imposible.

What you can do is increase your mindfulness. Notice when the judgement happens and instead of judging yourself for judging, embrace the feeling and don't label it good or bad. Just let it be.

That is one part of dealing with envy. Understanding it's nature.

On the other hand, you must have certain beliefs, perhaps unconscious , that trigger these feelings .

Perhaps a feeling or belief of having wasted your life, time, potential, not being good enough and wanting to compensate by amazing skills, not having decided who you want to be / who you want to become, etc.

You may have to do some work on releasing these beliefs. Or maybe the feeling is exactly right , because you're seeing something you authentically desire but you chronically procrastinate on taking action towards it. In that case, take the hint and roll up your sleeves 

 

Envy means " I feel unsatisfied because I lack something someone else has "

Realize that everyone is on a different journey. Realize that it literally is impossible to be great at everything for the simple reason that since our time on this planet is limited , we can only choose a handful of domain to be great at.

There will allways be someone better than you at something. 

That's why you should work on defining who do you want to be and become, so that you can feel inspired by others greatness to fuel yourself on your own path, rather than allways wanting something else.

Have some healthy limiting beliefs.

It you spend 20 years on guitar, programing, learning multiple languages, becoming a master juggler, learning public speaking , etc you can't put that time into other areas. You literally  CAN NOT. Realize that.

 

It's a form of FOMO really. A sort of OCD always obsessing on what you're lacking.

Always looking at the other side of the fence and allways regretting your decision of where spending your time.

Define yourself. Set your own trayectory and know where you going.

Good stuff here:

Feel free to provide more details 

Edited December 26, 2023 by mmKay

[Yimpa]

2 minutes ago, mmKay said:

It you spend 20 years on guitar, programing, learning multiple languages, becoming a master juggler, learning public speaking , etc you can't put that time into other areas. It's a form of FOMO really. Allways looking at the other side of the fence and allways regretting your decision of where spending your time

That’s the beauty of limitation. You can learn to fully appreciate others’ gifts. For example, I could never be a master juggler, but watching a close friend doing it fluidly is beauty in its own respect.

[Princess Arabia]

What happen to your other post where you're Mr. Hot Shot, where everybody loves you. 

[hyruga]

Everybody has his own stuff and envy to deal with. What matters most is health. 

If you envy someone because of their wealth, remember a wealthy fella aka Steve Jobs is dead.

Of course, death may not be the worst thing. Some people chose loyalty over death.

[ted73104]

10 hours ago, Yimpa said:

That’s the beauty of limitation. You can learn to fully appreciate others’ gifts. For example, I could never be a master juggler, but watching a close friend doing it fluidly is beauty in its own respect.

This is the right way to do it, but it is too high level. Most people which is like 99.99% of people cannot do it. If you envy something, I say you should try to find a way to get the thing you want. Reward yourself for any bit of growth or achievement you make along the way. Eventually if what you imagined you wanted was a real thing, you'll get it. If it wasn't real, then you can finally drop it.