Are there ways to love people more

[PurpleTree]

Are there ways to love people more? Because they‘re you, because they don‘t know better, or because they just live the human experience like you

i do love people often, i shed some tears for israel/palestine/humanity or whatever but 

People are often so annoying 

they block my way, they stare, they steal, they walk into me, they are disgusting, they tax me, they make dumb laws, they dress horribly, they are loud etc etc etc

i know there are metta meditations etc

are there insights which help you love people more?

is loving people something you can work on or is it something that should come by itself?

 

[An young being]

27 minutes ago, PurpleTree said:

 

is loving people something you can work on or is it something that should come by itself?

 

Being compassionate that all the bad traits you mentioned came into existence as tools for survival by nature and the individual selves are not responsible for it can help to love them more.

[DefinitelyNotARobot]

Learning to love yourself is crucial. You can't love people for the things you don't love within yourself, since they are you.

[PurpleTree]

4 minutes ago, An young being said:

Being compassionate that all the bad traits you mentioned came into existence as tools for survival by nature and the individual selves are not responsible for it can help to love them more.

How is blocking my way, dressing horribly etc a tool for survival though?

[DefinitelyNotARobot]

3 minutes ago, PurpleTree said:

How is blocking my way, dressing horribly etc a tool for survival though?

For example: They're blocking your way because they fear your potential. They dress horribly because they don't want to stand out in a crowd.

[HMD]

@PurpleTree Try to be fascinated by it. Consciousness manifesting in a strange way. This is only possible if you are aware of Absolute Truth. 

[PurpleTree]

I think part of it is that i have too high expectations for people myself included 

how to let it go though

[Salvijus]

It's futile to try and be loving. Just be aware and relinquish the judgements that are causing your heart to contract. There's nothing you can do about the love. But you can remove all the things that are blocking the love. And the love is there. As your natural quality and the way of being. 

Edited October 27, 2023 by Salvijus

[Razard86]

16 minutes ago, PurpleTree said:

I think part of it is that i have too high expectations for people myself included 

how to let it go though

1. You can only let it go when it becomes true for you to let it go. This is why the concept of karma is so important. You can't skip steps. You learn through experience. The path to proper expectations is to set realistic attainable expectations for yourself.

But how do you figure out what that is? Through self-study.

So is it fair to expect someone to do something they are not capable of? No. So that means you need to be able to understand accurately what someone is capable of and what you are capable.

This delves into concepts like free will/ control/determinism etc.

So now you will need to investigate this and discover do you actually have control in your life? Or are you being deluded.

Think about it....did you choose your height? Did you choose your skin color? Did you choose the country you were born in? The time period? Did you choose what allergies you have or don't have? Did you choose your taste palette and smell preferences? Did you choose your ability to remember or not remember things? Did you choose your natural ability to be patient or impatient? Did you choose what subjects you are naturally good at? Do you choose the rate your heart beats? Do you choose the rate your eyes blink, or the rate you breathe at? Do you choose the weather, traffic? Do you choose if people find you nice or mean? 

So how much control do you really have in life? Because you can only hold people to what they have control over....and not hold them to what they don't have control over. But do you actually know how to properly set your expectations? When you don't even know how much control you have?

Edited October 27, 2023 by Razard86

[DefinitelyNotARobot]

11 minutes ago, PurpleTree said:

how to let it go though

Try and observe your own limitations. Sit with them. High expectations have to do with how you relate to the limitations within reality. You wouldn't expect a car to fly you to the moon. It's not a realistic expectations, because it completely ignores the physical limitations of the car. People are much more tricky though, since their limitations aren't always super obvious. But once you start to get a better understanding of these limitations, they will start to bother you less and less. It's similar to how you're not angry at the car for being unable to fly to the moon, but you might get angry should it break down. It's unreasonable to expect it to be able to fly to the moon, but it's far more reasonable to expect it to work. One thing is impossible (feel free to prove me wrong lol, I'd love to see a car that can do that), the other thing isn't. My point is that there are different levels of limitation, you might want to focus on the more tangible ones to begin with and work your way down to the deeper layers of this construct. 

[An young being]

13 minutes ago, PurpleTree said:

I think part of it is that i have too high expectations for people myself included 

how to let it go though

Enquire why this feeling of expectations arise. It could very well be another tool for survival, so that you can become better and better at survival. So that you can improve yourself and people around you to adopt better means to improve life. It already served most of its purpose by improving chances of survival to a great extent. Realise that you already have good chances of survival without need for further expectations, and you already have all the tools and senses to experience life without fear of dying soon. Now let go of the desire for new expectations with the help of this newfound knowledge.

[PurpleTree]

9 minutes ago, Razard86 said:

So now you will need to investigate this and discover do you actually have control in your life? Or are you being deluded.

Think about it....did you choose your height? Did you choose your skin color? Did you choose the country you were born in? The time period? Did you choose what allergies you have or don't have? Did you choose your taste palette and smell preferences? Did you choose your ability to remember or not remember things? Did you choose your natural ability to be patient or impatient? Did you choose what subjects you are naturally good at? ….

Some say yes some say no.

i don‘t know. Probably not

[DefinitelyNotARobot]

3 minutes ago, PurpleTree said:

Some say yes some say no.

i don‘t know. Probably not

Is there an inherent difference between the limitation of a car being unable to fly to the moon and the limitation of Hitler being unable to love the Jewish people? Similarly, is there a difference between Hitler being unable to love the Jewish people and you being unable to love selfish people?

Edited October 27, 2023 by DefinitelyNotARobot

[PurpleTree]

Just now, DefinitelyNotARobot said:

Is there an inherent difference between the limitation of a car being unable to fly to the moon and the limitation of Hitler being unable to love the Jewish people?

It‘s funny i watched two videos yesterday about two jews hitler loved/liked

one was a little girl and one was his family doctor from his hometown in austria

 

[DefinitelyNotARobot]

Just now, PurpleTree said:

It‘s funny i watched two videos yesterday about two jews hitler loved/liked

That is what makes people so tricky. 

Even someone like Hitler had the capacity to love Jewish people, but it was so incredibly limited that there is only a handful he actually cared about in any meaningful way. So what exactly was it that was limiting him to be so selfish? And how can understanding his selfishness help you love yourself on a deeper level and vic versa?

[PurpleTree]

11 minutes ago, DefinitelyNotARobot said:

That is what makes people so tricky. 

Even someone like Hitler had the capacity to love Jewish people, but it was so incredibly limited that there is only a handful he actually cared about in any meaningful way. So what exactly was it that was limiting him to be so selfish? And how can understanding his selfishness help you love yourself on a deeper level and vic versa?

Well he thought jews make it worse for germans in germany and control some stuff in the world so it was „for the greater good for germans and the love of germany“ to get rid of them in his opinion

Edited October 27, 2023 by PurpleTree

[An young being]

2 minutes ago, PurpleTree said:

Well he thought jews make it worse for germans in germany and control some stuff in the world so it was „for the greater good for germans“ to get rid of them in his opinion

For the survival of his clan, in other words.

Edited October 27, 2023 by An young being

[PurpleTree]

2 minutes ago, An young being said:

For the survival of his clan, in other words.

Oh yes

 

[PurpleTree]

But how can seeing that people are mere survival machines make them more lovable 

[ZzzleepingBear]

You may want to learn to distinguish between human flawed behavior, and the essential beingness that we all share.

Any human will have flaws, but we can never be our flaws. 

So if someone behave like a ahole, you don't need to love that behavior itself, only recognize where it comes from and move past it to the best of your ability. 

Easier said than done of course, but it helps you to create some space for awareness atleast. That can be cultivated further than just knee jerk reactions alone.