It looks like I'm actually gonna be able to get euthanasia...

[at_anchor]

Today I got a response from Dignitas. I feel like I could get everything good in life, health, financial independence, security, love, and all. But this is better than nothing. Even if there is no reincarnation, which I'm choosing not to believe in for the purpose of making a sound choice, I would still want this now because, hey, it's people. They can be monsters. The biggest monsters on earth live around me here. Because of them my life is as it is now and was as it was. 

I can't wait for death to help me escape from family, society, poverty, abuse, injustice, disease, and so forth. I can't wait to die with dignity. 

 

 

I might be exempted from paying basically over 12000 franks and maybe I get this. What do you think? I just have to sign some papers when I am able to leave the country. 

Finally, God and Freedom is coming faster than I thought I would have to wait for them to come:')

[josemar]

Kill yourself with 5meo dmt first

[at_anchor]

@josemar Yeah, I want to keep myself in existence, but not like this. I'm actually very happy for the fact that I wouldn't see people that have hurt me in life. It's so great. I'd be free and safe from them all. 5-Meo-DMT will never work on me because it's just a substance for temporary death. Seeing death for what it is changes almost nothing in my life. Plus, it is easier to get suicide than 5-Meo-DMT. 

What can this substance do for me other than make me happy for a short while? It's a reward. It doesn't make you any smarter, any safer or healthier, it doesn't detox you, it doesn't help you sleep or meditate in calmness for hours, it's almost like a drug, except that it isn't. Magic mushrooms probably are like a drug, and I'd probably eat them every day, multiple times a day. That still costs and requires me to work and function as a member of some grouo of peopls that is a part of some larger group of people and so forth. I'll never do that. 

[at_anchor]

It's stupid to ask this here, but I found a reallygreat video summary of Bhagavad Gitta and now it is gone, does anyone know the name of the channel with this picture on it:

[J at Akashic Lights]

I wasn't able to find the channel but here is the essence of all the 18 chapters of the Gita in 18 sentences. 

One liner Geeta:

Chapter 1 - Wrong thinking is the only problem in life .
Chapter 2 - Right knowledge is the ultimate solution to all our problems .
Chapter 3 - Selflessness is the only way to progress and prosperity .
Chapter 4 - Every act can be an act of prayer .
Chapter 5 - Renounce the ego of individuality and rejoice the bliss of infinity .
Chapter 6 - Connect to the higher consciousness daily.
Chapter 7 - Live what you learn .
Chapter 8 - Never give up on yourself .
Chapter 9 - Value your blessings .
Chapter 10 - See divinity all around .
Chapter 11 - Have enough surrender to see the truth as it is.
Chapter 12 - Absorb your mind in the higher.
Chapter 13 - Detach from Maya and attach to divine .
Chapter 14 - Live a life- style that matches your vision.
Chapter 15 - Give priority to Divinity .
Chapter 16 - Being good is a reward in itself .
Chapter 17 - Choosing the right over the pleasant is a sign of power .
Chapter 18 - Let go, let us move to union with God .
 

[J at Akashic Lights]

We should emphasize the value of life and the potential for growth and transformation, even in the face of adversity. While it may seem tempting to seek an escape from the difficulties you are currently facing, consider alternative paths towards finding peace and liberation. Rather than focusing on external circumstances or waiting for death, explore the power of inner transformation and spiritual growth.

Cultivate a daily meditation practice. Observe the sensations of the breath as it enters and leaves your body, allowing your mind to settle and become present in the moment.

Positive qualities of mind such as compassion, forgiveness, and gratitude can help you navigate challenging situations with greater resilience and inner strength. Practice acts of kindness towards yourself and others, and cultivate a mindset of gratitude for the blessings in your life, no matter how small they may seem.

Enlightenment is not about escaping from the world, but rather, it is about finding inner peace and liberation while actively engaging with life's challenges. By cultivating spiritual growth and inner transformation, you can find the strength and resilience to navigate difficult circumstances and create a more fulfilling and meaningful life.

If its an option, Consider seeking support from trusted friends, family, or professionals who can provide guidance and assistance during this challenging time. Remember, you are not alone, and there is always hope for a brighter future. May you find the strength and courage to face your challenges and discover the transformative power of enlightenment.

[josemar]

On 02/10/2023 at 8:43 PM, at_anchor said:

@josemar Yeah, I want to keep myself in existence, but not like this. I'm actually very happy for the fact that I wouldn't see people that have hurt me in life. It's so great. I'd be free and safe from them all. 5-Meo-DMT will never work on me because it's just a substance for temporary death. Seeing death for what it is changes almost nothing in my life. Plus, it is easier to get suicide than 5-Meo-DMT. 

What can this substance do for me other than make me happy for a short while? It's a reward. It doesn't make you any smarter, any safer or healthier, it doesn't detox you, it doesn't help you sleep or meditate in calmness for hours, it's almost like a drug, except that it isn't. Magic mushrooms probably are like a drug, and I'd probably eat them every day, multiple times a day. That still costs and requires me to work and function as a member of some grouo of peopls that is a part of some larger group of people and so forth. I'll never do that. 

It would show you your bullshit, actually better said it would dissolve the bullshitter.

Sure, the bullshitter reassembles itself after and you'll fall back to your bullshitting ways. But you do it again, and again, and the more you observe the bullshitter being dissolved and reassembled, the easier it gets to see through the bullshit without the substance.

[at_anchor]

@J at Akashic Lights thank you so much for doing this, but please let me complain and express negative emotions and misinterpret a bit. I'm a bit on the edge of losing it all so 

14 hours ago, J at Akashic Lights said:

Chapter 1 - Wrong thinking is the only problem in life .

Yes and no. You think what you're taught to think and if you're lead into thinking badly which then leads to incrediblybad results, no right thinking will be able to change stuff for the better. You could even lose the ability to think.

14 hours ago, J at Akashic Lights said:

Chapter 2 - Right knowledge is the ultimate solution to all our problems .

Yes, until a certain point where not even right knowledge can save you.

 

14 hours ago, J at Akashic Lights said:

Chapter 3 - Selflessness is the only way to progress and prosperity .

No, no, no and no. That's the road to hell. I was selfless. I still am pretty selfless to a large extent. No, this one just flies out the window. 

14 hours ago, J at Akashic Lights said:

Chapter 4 - Every act can be an act of prayer .

Aha. I don't understand.

14 hours ago, J at Akashic Lights said:

Chapter 6 - Connect to the higher consciousness daily.

Easy to say, hard to accomplish. 

14 hours ago, J at Akashic Lights said:

Chapter 7 - Live what you learn .

I can't learn anymore. It's hard to live what I learn too.

14 hours ago, J at Akashic Lights said:

Chapter 8 - Never give up on yourself .

What does that mean? Tell others to never give up on me. I'm not able to fight for myswlf anymore. 

14 hours ago, J at Akashic Lights said:

Chapter 9 - Value your blessings .

I can't count more than one or two. My mommy, this forum now, and that's it, maybe that I am still not lost forever, but on the way to being lost forever and in grave danger which is not really understood here at all.

14 hours ago, J at Akashic Lights said:

Chapter 10 - See divinity all around.

Divinity? I don't know if that's possible in certain emotional and chemical bodily states.

14 hours ago, J at Akashic Lights said:

14 - Live a life- style that matches your vision.

This quote sounds best of all but I still can't make sense of how that can be achieved. Good bye my beloved.

14 hours ago, J at Akashic Lights said:

Chapter 16 - Being good is a reward in itself .

This also sounds right.

14 hours ago, J at Akashic Lights said:

Chapter 17 - Choosing the right over the pleasant is a sign of power .

What's right and what's pleasant? Sometimes the pleasant is right and the unpleasant is wrong.

[Buck Edwards]

You're better than 90% people out there. You can make it work even in the worst circumstances. 

Cheer up. 

[Merkabah Star]

@at_anchor try and pull yourself out of it man. I saw your energy in a reply you gave me on another thread and you are amazing. I know it’s shit what you are going through but you can make it. Big love and hugs to you!

[at_anchor]

@Buck Edwards hearing that from you makes it sound ten times better and yeah, I got cheered up a bit.

@Merkabah Star I'm not amazing, I'm okay and you're amazing.  Big love and hugs to you too.

Edited October 8, 2023 by at_anchor

[Princess Arabia]

27 minutes ago, at_anchor said:

@Buck Edwards hearing that from you makes it sound ten times better and yeah, I got cheered up a bit.

@Merkabah Star I'm not amazing, I'm okay and you're amazing.  Big love and hugs to you too.

I am not doesn't exist. 

Edited October 8, 2023 by Princess Arabia

[enzyme]

Hi there.

I'm afraid I don't know what you've been through and what's lead you to wanting this, if it's any consolation there are people you may not realize need you and would be heartbroken if you were gone (you may not have met them yet).

From a practical point of view I'd highly recommend you re-consider and seek help: either from friends, family or from a professional.  If you're not comfortable doing so then you should at least do things to take your mind off it and see if you can get into a state of flow where there's no mind.  No mind = no problem.

As Leo once said in a video, if you die, you won't go anywhere.  We don't wisp away - there's only this one space where anything can happen.  And it won't cure our current pain either.

[Merkabah Star]

3 hours ago, at_anchor said:

@Buck Edwards hearing that from you makes it sound ten times better and yeah, I got cheered up a bit.

@Merkabah Star I'm not amazing, I'm okay and you're amazing.  Big love and hugs to you too.

We are all amazing! 

[ZenAlex]

Sorry to hear about this OP. I don't know how old you are, but I'd definitely consider giving life as much of a chance as possible before considering this, although I don't know how much you're suffering and I don't know how hopeless your circumstance.

If you are going to go through with this, then rest in peace, but I hope you reconsider.

[Hojo]

God is your companion forever and ever and ever and ever and ever

[TheCloud]

I don't want you to die, and I don't think you really want to die.  You're still a child inside, living under the thumb of a perverse authority.  You never even got to grow up, so it can't be alright for you to die already.  The images installed in your mind that haunt you, particularly of the feminine/maternal and masculine/paternal, aren't real or permanent.  Even though it's been repressed, ignored, or denied, there's still something beautiful inside you.  It's something more important than your life, but it's also something that can make it important for you to go on living.

 

On 10/6/2023 at 7:19 PM, at_anchor said:

No, no, no and no. That's the road to hell. I was selfless. I still am pretty selfless to a large extent. No, this one just flies out the window.

If that's how you feel, I highly recommend Ayn Rand's "The Fountainhead" to you if you haven't read it.  There are certainly parts to contest with or grow past in her philosophy, but I know of no greater treatise on virtuous selfishness.

[at_anchor]

22 minutes ago, TheCloud said:

Ayn Rand's "The Fountainhead

I would love to read it but my health is unfortunatelly not good, circumstances also, and import taxes are huge at least on my account. Maybe in another life.

24 minutes ago, TheCloud said:

I don't want you to die, and I don't think you really want to die.  You're still a child inside, living under the thumb of a perverse authority.  You never even got to grow up, so it can't be alright for you to die already.  The images installed in your mind that haunt you, particularly of the feminine/maternal and masculine/paternal, aren't real or permanent.  Even though it's been repressed, ignored, or denied, there's still something beautiful inside you.  It's something more important than your life, but it's also something that can make it important for you to go on living.

Thank you for writing this. I agree. I agree and am sad that it is how it is.

I don't think I'll ever be able to stand by myself anymore. My brain has been destroyed and dignity and time and all.

[TheCloud]

7 minutes ago, at_anchor said:

My brain has been destroyed and dignity and time and all.

You don't write as if your brain has been destroyed.  You still have means and places available to express yourself.

[at_anchor]

31 minutes ago, TheCloud said:

You don't write as if your brain has been destroyed.  You still have means and places available to express yourself.

I don't fully understand what you want to say. I have YouTube to express myself? I don't know what to say there.

I'm trying to learn a new language for now, but I don't know how long I'm gonna be able to keep up with it. Unfortunately, learning a new language doesn't mean I'll actually get to live independently in one of the best countries.