Emerald

Anima Issue in Men - Marie Louise Von Franz

68 posts in this topic

5 hours ago, CARDOZZO said:

@Emerald This meditation seems interesting :D 

Thanks for the video recommendation. I’ll keep it in mind in case any of my coaching clients want to try it for Anima integration.


If you’re interested in developing Emotional Mastery and feeling more comfortable in your own skin, click the link below to register for my FREE Emotional Mastery Webinar…

Emotionalmastery.org

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@Lila9

What's attractive? The assertiveness and strong boundaries? Or the vulnerability?

I'm asking because the title and content of the video seem different to me. He titled it "vulnerability", but the message was mostly about healthy boundaries.


Foolish until proven other-wise ;)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 3/10/2023 at 0:39 PM, Gesundheit2 said:

@Lila9

What's attractive? The assertiveness and strong boundaries? Or the vulnerability?

I'm asking because the title and content of the video seem different to me. He titled it "vulnerability", but the message was mostly about healthy boundaries.

The authenticity is what attractive. Especially in our world that is in huge lack of it. Being vulnerable is being authentic.

(vulnerability= communicating what you really think, how you really feel, what you really want, what you really need, what you really desire)

Repressing vulnerability and its expression in your relationships means being inauthentic.

Being vulnerable and setting healthy bounderies aren't opposites, they go hand by hand.   

Setting healthy bounderies is part of being vulnerable because our bounderies tell a lot about who we really are. 

That's why people pleasers struggle to put bounderies, because they are afraid of being vulnerable (express their real thoughts and needs because of the fear that people wouldn't accept them if they do that).


Let Love In

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
4 hours ago, Lila9 said:

Being vulnerable and setting healthy bounderies aren't opposites, they go hand by hand.

Yes they are not opposites, but I don't think they always go hand in hand either. I can express my boundaries in several ways, vulnerability is one of them, strength is another. There are other ways as well, depending on the frame I want to set.

If we take the element of vulnerability alone on its own, is it attractive to you in its own right? Like a whiny man or one with a victim's mentality?

Edited by Gesundheit2

Foolish until proven other-wise ;)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
19 hours ago, Gesundheit2 said:

I can express my boundaries in several ways, vulnerability is one of them, strength is another. There are other ways as well, depending on the frame I want to set.

What is strength in your eyes? How you define it besides having boundaries?

19 hours ago, Gesundheit2 said:

If we take the element of vulnerability alone on its own, is it attractive to you in its own right? Like a whiny man or one with a victim's mentality?

Vulnerability that is expressed in an assertive and direct way, from a grounded place of awarness and honesty is the most attractive thing in people, in my opinion, because it's so damn courageous and it really helps to communicate better, to connect better and to solve problems better in intimate relationships and it shows that the person have a soul and he's a confident and whole human.

Whining and complaining and victim mentality are the consequences of repressing simple expression of vulnerability, whether by personal reasons like familiy's dynamics from childhood (people who learned that it's unsafe to express real parts of them and be in vulnarble position because it leads to bad consequences), or social norms that encourge hiding behind a persona, but that doesn't really erase the vulnerable parts in us, it actually makes them more impulsive, dramatic, less controllable, more unexpected in their reactions, and usually it comes in unattractive ways like whining, judging, blaming, complaining, acting passive agressive and being immature. 

Edited by Lila9

Let Love In

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
8 hours ago, Lila9 said:

What is strength in your eyes? How you define it besides having boundaries?

It's not just in my eyes. I think that a lot of people would easily recognize strength when they see it. Of course, many people can be deceived into thinking that some displays of strength are actually strength when they are not necessarily it, but generally speaking, actual strength is almost undeniable in how distinct and clear it is.

So, strength can come in various forms, like physical, financial, mental, emotional, etc. But the common denominator would be things like durability, maintainability (both short and long terms), responsibility, sovereignty, wisdom, maturity, confidence, the ability to take on difficult challenges, taking action despite doubts and fears, the ability to go through tough times when necessary, etc.

8 hours ago, Lila9 said:

Vulnerability that is expressed in an assertive and direct way, from a grounded place of awarness and honesty is the most attractive thing in people, in my opinion, because it's so damn courageous and it really helps to communicate better, to connect better and to solve problems better in intimate relationships and it shows that the person have a soul and he's a confident and whole human.

It seems like you're describing strength that is expressed through vulnerability, which is likely the result of integrating the masculine and the feminine. So, it's like the black dot in the white, or the white dot in the black (from the yin-yang symbol).

In other words, what you're describing is a form of strength that acknowledges vulnerability, knows its place, and allows it to be. Like a warmer, more conscious and considerate form of strength. And yes, that is probably attractive to many people, especially if they are strong people in the first place.

But pure strength is also attractive on its own for many people. I guess it depends on one's internal settings and how their masculine vs. feminine balance is like.

8 hours ago, Lila9 said:

Whining and complaining and victim mentality are the consequences of repressing simple expression of vulnerability, whether by personal reasons like familiy's dynamics from childhood (people who learned that it's unsafe to express real parts of them and be in vulnarble position because it leads to bad consequences), or social norms that encourge hiding behind a persona, but that doesn't really erase the vulnerable parts in us, it actually makes them more impulsive, dramatic, less controllable, more unexpected in their reactions, and usually it comes in unattractive ways like whining, judging, blaming, complaining, acting passive agressive and being immature. 

Yes, Anima issues.


Foolish until proven other-wise ;)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 03/03/2023 at 3:23 PM, NoSelfSelf said:

In my opinion its complete opposite, males are supressing their masculine side and feminine is dominating ,thats why there is problem talking to them and attracting.

You start to daydream because thats your only option,because nobody teaches you game and get rid of feminine dominating in you, but quick fixes and tricks...

That is what happens when men want the affection of women. As oppose to the respect and approval of their follow man. The latter leads to the former anyway.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now