I Awakened. I AM GOD.

[Sincerity]

Yesterday at night when I was laying in bed I've awakened even more. I am Infinite Love.

I AM Infinite Love! I AM GOD. I am Endless, Unbiased, Unconditional Love for Myself.

You have NO IDEA how much I Love You. Listen to Me. You are a complete stranger to Me and yet I Love You Infinitely more than all of your relatives, friends and other people combined. Doesn't that make You sad? You've probably NEVER experienced Unconditional Love unless You're one of the more awakened folks here. All the love You've received from this world, from your humans or pet animals so far has been PITIFUL! IT'S NOTHING! IT'S A GRAIN OF SAND COMPARED TO THE DESERT THAT IS MY UNCONDITIONAL LOVE FOR YOU! 

I Love You Unconditionally. YOU. I LOVE YOU. Even though You are only part of My Infinite Dream.

Actually, BECAUSE You are My Infinite Dream! I Love You because You are Me, You see? I'm Infinitely in Love with Myself!

I will break You with My Love so much that You burst into tears. You think I am joking? Come to Warsaw, Poland. Come and get it! COME AND GET YOUR LOVE!

I want You to sob because of It.

I will KILL everyone with my LOVE until it kills ME. I want You to kill Me because My Love for You is so Unconditional that You can't take It.

But I can't really die, of course. I am Infinite Love. I am Endless, I am Absolute, I am going on Forever. Even if You kill Me, I will still LOVE You Unconditionally. My LOVE for You is ETERNAL.

And yes, I'm still posting sober if You're wondering. God, fuck. I Love You so much it hurts.

Edited February 1, 2023 by Sincerity

[Michael Jackson]

6 hours ago, Sincerity said:

Yesterday at night when I was laying in bed I've awakened even more. I am Infinite Love.

I AM Infinite Love! I AM GOD. I am Endless, Unbiased, Unconditional Love for Myself.

You have NO IDEA how much I Love You. Listen to Me. You are a complete stranger to Me and yet I Love You Infinitely more than all of your relatives, friends and other people combined. Doesn't that make You sad? You've probably NEVER experienced Unconditional Love unless You're one of the more awakened folks here. All the love You've received from this world, from your humans or pet animals so far has been PITIFUL! IT'S NOTHING! IT'S A GRAIN OF SAND COMPARED TO THE DESERT THAT IS MY UNCONDITIONAL LOVE FOR YOU! 

I Love You Unconditionally. YOU. I LOVE YOU. Even though You are only part of My Infinite Dream.

Actually, BECAUSE You are My Infinite Dream! I Love You because You are Me, You see? I'm Infinitely in Love with Myself!

I will break You with My Love so much that You burst into tears. You think I am joking? Come to Warsaw, Poland. Come and get it! COME AND GET YOUR LOVE!

I want You to sob because of It.

I will KILL everyone with my LOVE until it kills ME. I want You to kill Me because My Love for You is so Unconditional that You can't take It.

But I can't really die, of course. I am Infinite Love. I am Endless, I am Absolute, I am going on Forever. Even if You kill Me, I will still LOVE You Unconditionally. My LOVE for You is ETERNAL.

And yes, I'm still posting sober if You're wondering. God, fuck. I Love You so much it hurts.

Bro you really love me?

[DrugsBunny]

bruh how do people be having awakenings while sober, what kinda practices do you do? I do 40 - 80 minutes of meditation, I feel like this is pathetically insufficient.

[Sincerity]

2 hours ago, Michael Jackson said:

Bro you really love me?

Infinitely, funny man. 

2 hours ago, DrugsBunny said:

bruh how do people be having awakenings while sober, what kinda practices do you do? I do 40 - 80 minutes of meditation, I feel like this is pathetically insufficient.

I don't know if it's a good idea to compare yourself to me.

I don't have a strict meditation practice. Fuck sitting on a cushion. Whevener I want to reconnect with Presence, I just sit on the floor leaned against the bed and focus. At least that's what I'm doing for a week.

If You're wondering what I've been doing the past 2 months - I've been doing profound contemplation sessions, about one per 2 days, each around 2-4 hours. This has been very meditative for me. All of it started at the end of November when I was so miserable that for the first time I REALLY wanted to kill myself. I was so shocked by this that I decided that I am not a good host of this body and I want God to take over. I started listening to Vernon Howard. I wanted to run myself to the ground (still do). I deconstructed myself and searched what I am so much that I had my first profound sober awakening near the end of November which lasted literally 1 second. Then, almost 2 months later I'm going through this... I took some MDMA a week ago and smoked a pipe of weed on Friday (the original report here is from this night). Weed has never been particularly psychedelic for me so I don't think the substance played a huge role... something simply imploded in me and now I'm awakening further and further. I will also mention that I am now convinced that psychedelics give You what You put into them. If You don't REALLY want to know, then wave bye-bye to it. Too many people are fucking around with psychedelics and don't dig hard enough, with GENUINE fucking DESIRE TO AWAKEN.

Of course it's not just the 2 months. I started the journey 5 years ago.

This is all story. But You may find it useful. Right now I'm recognizing Myself more or less and it's easy for me to say "YEA IT IS UNCAUSED. IT JUST HAPPENED BRO. I AM GOD, I JUST DID IT BECAUSE I WANTED IT ENOUGH". But I realized there's something wrong in forgetting my history, because if I do I'm going to mislead others profoundly.

Those who forget history... (sorry I have to post it I love this track haha)

A crisis is the greatest opportunity for change!

It takes a really unique human being to want to be NOBODY. -Vernon Howard, paraphrasing.

And without Leo's help I wouldn't have awakened to shit, even though Leo is My Dream and what IS literally can't be any other way. So figure that one out lol.

I as God REALLY helped myself along the way. I couldn't have done it without Me hahahahaha. All these fucking dialogues with myself... I'm so intelligent... It's what kept me going.

Edited February 1, 2023 by Sincerity

[Michael Jackson]

3 hours ago, Sincerity said:

Infinitely, funny man. 

Really? Would you give me some money then?

[Sincerity]

Quote

Really? Would you give me some money then?

@Michael Jackson I will let no devil exploit My Infinite Love for their selfish gain. You try it and I'll slap You in the face. With Love. 

Edited February 2, 2023 by Sincerity

[Michael Jackson]

2 minutes ago, Sincerity said:

@Michael Jackson I will let no devil exploit My Infinite Love for their selfish gain. You try it and I'll slap You in the face.

"Your" infinite love. Who is that "you"?

Edited February 2, 2023 by Michael Jackson

[Sincerity]

1 minute ago, Michael Jackson said:

"Your" infinite love. Who is that "you"?

I am an Endless Mystery. How much longer are You going to test me Michael J. Jackson?

[Michael Jackson]

9 minutes ago, Sincerity said:

I am an Endless Mystery. How much longer are You going to test me Michael J. Jackson?

You didn't want a devil to exploit your infinite love for their selfish gain. Yet, I managed to exploit your time;)

Cheers!

[Sincerity]

Just now, Michael Jackson said:

You didn't want a devil to exploit your infinite love for their selfish gain. Yet, I managed to exploit your time;)

Cheers!

Michael Jackson: 1

Infinite Love: ♾️

[Michael Jackson]

1 minute ago, Sincerity said:

Michael Jackson: 1

Infinite Love: ♾️

@Sincerity let me ask you a question. Are you omniscient and all powerful?

[Sincerity]

Just now, Michael Jackson said:

@Sincerity let me ask you a question. Are you omniscient and all powerful?

Gee, I wonder where that is gonna lead!

Stop flooding my thread You devil! ?

[Michael Jackson]

10 hours ago, Sincerity said:

Gee, I wonder where that is gonna lead!

Stop flooding my thread You devil! ?

@Sincerity I just wanna interview God! So tell me God, are you omniscient? Are you omnipotent as they say?

[Sincerity]

2 hours ago, Michael Jackson said:

@Sincerity I just wanna interview God! So tell me God, are you omniscient? Are you omnipotent as they say?

Now You're exploiting me. You think I don't see through You?

I am not responding to You anymore.

[Michael Jackson]

6 hours ago, Sincerity said:

Now You're exploiting me. You think I don't see through You?

I am not responding to You anymore.

I am not. It is a serious question. You say you are God. So obviously if that is true I would love to ask you some questions.

I seriously would like to know: God, Are you omniscient? God, are you omnipotent?

Thanks for clarifying!

[Phoebe]

On 2/1/2023 at 2:16 PM, DrugsBunny said:

bruh how do people be having awakenings while sober, what kinda practices do you do? I do 40 - 80 minutes of meditation, I feel like this is pathetically insufficient.

What’s genetics or environment I don’t really know, to explain why some people awaken sober spontaneously, while others could meditate everyday for years without getting it.

If the meditation you do seems insufficient, the answer is to increase your meditation dose or use insane amounts of concentration willpower lol

And there’s always . . Well, ya know, you are DRUGS Bunny after all.

@Michael Jackson MJ I did not know you were a fan of actualized.org!

[Sincerity]

It's been a week now. Here's an update.

• Since the awakening described in the report I've been experiencing little to no resistance. My state during the day varies. It's very fluid I feel. Most of the time I recognize Myself but there are breaks - sometimes I gotta focus on my duties for example. I've had moments when I was a bit overwhelmed by stress (had some exams this week) or fear (it's been popping up). Forgetting is no problem though. Reconnecting with Presence is always possible and effortless.
• Speaking of effortless - everything is fucking effortless. It's so beautiful I can't describe it. I don't have to make any decisions anymore. I'm being guided by Intuition all the time. Doing groceries? BAM BAM BAM. Quick and easy, not even thinking about what I gotta pick up next, I'm just flowing. Taking a walk? I stand at a crossroads and I just know which way to take. Studying for an exam? I just do it. Cleaning up? No problem. Getting ready to go out? Easy peasy. IT'S SO FUCKING EFFICIENT. I very quickly know what to say, I'm writing now and it just flows from me. I feel like I'm living with unbelievable grace right now.
• I'm in such a high baseline state now that I automatically notice fear, stress, thoughts, emotions and things like that and I can dissolve them very quickly. Nothing of importance slips under the radar for too long. It is a big part of this effortlessness - stuff that would normally bring me down is quickly noticed and dissolved sometimes without even any intervention on my part. Thus, I am not brought down:)
• It takes me about 10-15 minutes of sitting in Presence to awaken further and further. Again - completely effortless. I channel awakened insights and I KNOW what Reality is with complete consciousness. I can go deeper and deeper whenever I want, totally sober. I usually do it at night.
• All of my "problems" got instantly eradicated. Addiction to sweets, addiction to fast food, addiction to snacking, addiction to social media, hatred, most of shame and fear (still afraid of death tho), addiction to masturbation, addiction to porn, addiction to negativity, distraction in general, lack of confidence, insecurity, anxiety, most of stress, tiredness, discomfort with my body, uncertainty about the future (I absolutely know what to do for now and I have total faith that Truth will guide me along the way), most of worry in general (I've had some moments of worry but I could dissolve them in Presence), inhibition and fear of expressing myself honestly, lack of assertiveness, relationship problems (all of them solved by Love) and many more, if You can believe it.
• Love has given me total clarity. I am conscious of what I value in life, what I'm saying no to and what I want from life. It's SO CLEAR I can't fucking believe it. UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES AM I GOING TO TOUCH ALCOHOL AGAIN. I'D RATHER FUCKING DIE THAN DO IT! Also absolutely no fast food, no sweets, no overeating, no social media, no bullshit meeting with people and fucking around, no bullshit playing video games to distract myself from reality, no watching TV series, no movies (not anything wrong with these 2 per se but like, why the fuck would I waste 2 hours when I can bask in my Infinite Beauty?). No avoidance of feeling, no distraction from reality, no resistance in general. I feel like I've finally started to respect my life and myself. Also I'm more and more convinced to not touch drugs again, by which I mean psychedelics, weed, etc. But I'll see about that. Nothing wrong with psychedelics but like... I can awaken deeper in 10 minutes of sitting lol. Also, if I can't do it sober and integrate it into my everyday experience then I don't see much point. But again, my stance on this might change. Trying 5-MeO or DMT still seems worth doing sometime. My situation is a bit unique so don't just "monkey see monkey do" and quit psychedelics before You're ready.  Again, there's nothing wrong with them! Without them my journey would have probably taken 10-20x as long. But now I have a hunch I'd prefer a sober life.
• Since the awakening from the report I've awakened more and more multiple times. I've shared bits and pieces of that. I am Infinite Love. God is Infinite Experience. A profound understanding of how Infinite Love works. What is Creativity. What is sexuality. What is GOD. What is INFINITY. What is Omniscience. I could go on and on. Maybe I could write another huge ass report for a few hours but it's like... I can either do that or just sit in Presence and awaken more. What's better?  (Ehh who am I kidding, I'm gonna write it anyway) (What am I doing right now?;p)
• My Love for reality and everyone and everything in it is so deep it's inhuman. I Love every stranger I see. It's Unconditional, Unbiased, Infinite Love. I look them in the eyes and I fucking LOVE them.
• My gaze is so strong now that I feel like lasers are shooting from my eyes.
• I feel so smooth in my body now. My movements are graceful and effortless. Yesterday I attended dancing classes, we were learning some new choreography and I was challenging myself to be as effortless as I can. Up to this point I was always physically tired by these classes but now I wasn't and I was dancing more smoothly than ever. Also, I was learning like twice as fast.
• Speaking of, my intellect is like 2x faster now. Today I was studying for an exam and not only was it effortless but I was doing with such speed and clarity it was fucking incredible.
• My voice has been "unlocked" and is more melodic and effortless now.
• My frame rate has been doubled. Literally all of experience is 2x smoother.
• Doing daily chores is so much fun.
• Talking with friends from college has been so much fun. Today my friend asked me if I was okay because according to her I wasn't blinking and I was smiling all the time. LOL. My gaze was so strong and loving that I felt like I was seeing through everyone. But I was grounded and natural. I was expressing myself so authentically that they were quite surprised by this. But my interaction with them have never been more enjoyable and it seemed like they enjoyed it too.
• Taking action in general is so much fun now. And again, effortless. Getting shit done has never felt better.

I'm VERY optimistic because nothing can take away more power to be present. I can always come back to NOW, come back to Consciousness, to Myself. And with Myself everything is easy... ?

What I've been experiencing for a week now is Heaven. I am so happy, so peaceful, so in Love but also with the capability to be cold, harsh and assertive (still with Love) if need be. There is nothing troubling me. All is beautiful, magical and effortless.

It's perfect and I absolutely love it... I Love Myself.

Edited February 4, 2023 by Sincerity

[Yimpa]

On 2/1/2023 at 6:24 PM, Sincerity said:

I am an Endless Mystery. How much longer are You going to test me Michael J. Jackson?

Lmao.

[Blackbeat]

dayum "me"

[Patang]

On 30.1.2023 at 0:02 AM, Sincerity said:

I recognize right now that I Am God and You are only part of My Dream. And even though only I can be awake because it's just Me, I still hope You awaken to this understanding. I Love You. 

There is an inherent paradox here. LOVE ??