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DawnOfReality

A Friend Who Seem Be Interested. Next Move!

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Hi guys

This is my first university year and I found a girl, friend of mine, to be following lectures with me. 
We've met a couple of years ago during a 2 weeks event and became friends but not very close. After that time we wouldn't text much and for 2 years I forgot of her (also because she lives quite far away from me). Now we are in the same course degree. 
 

During this 5 months period of lessons we got back in touch and started talk again. We sometimes do things together, like if I have to go somewhere I ask her if she wants to tag along and she usually accepts, and she does the same, but it all might feel much like a simple friendship thing.
Lately though, I noticed that she seems to be interested in me, but not so much to give me the assurance she really is. 
Let me explain: she has a very kind, open personality, very cheerful girl. Sometimes we text each other and she asks things to continue the conversation so we keep talking. BUT sometimes when I ask her something she replies with a good answer but doesn't carry on. When we are face to face, we talk of this and of that and all good and seldom she would make some moves (that I can't really describe) but that give me hints that she could actually be attracted by me. 
For example, the other day we had to create groups to work in the lab. We needed to create groups of 4 people and they were 5 (she and her friends). So she asked me if I would like to join them and I accepted; at that point we were 6 and needed 2 other people. We found 2 random girls and we were eight. Now we had to split in 2 sub-groups of 4. She and her close friends were 5, but she insisted to let them be together as 4 and she came with me and the 2 other girls. See, she insisted quite hard, but I am not completely sure if she did it for her friends (so that they could work together) or rather for staying with me. 
HOWEVER her personality (that I reckon might make her behave like that also with close friends, maybe) and my misjudgment might prove me wrong. So I am not so sure she REALLY wants me. 
THe fact that we are good friends makes all this harder so I don't wanna screw up, lead by bad judgment. But I feel like she is actually waiting for me to make a move but still I don't have enough clues to get to the next step. 

Also she is always with her group of friends with which I made some connections recently but I am not really part of it. So I was thinking she might be blocked by it too, worried, perhaps, of what they would think of us 2 together. She rarely would come to me by herself during lectures breaks, unless she had to for "external" causes (although a couple of times she came to ask me how I was doing and so on). I usually have to go to the place where they sit all together (she and her friends) and talk to her. 

I am interested in give it a shot. I don't mind her and I am surely attracted to her. Also I didn't have any experience (I am 19) with other girls but I am somewhat a confident guy: I mind my own business in general and I don't care much of others, I don't have problem talking to girls if I have to although I don't see myself starting a random conversation for the sake of a pick-up. But overall I think I could make it work as far as personality goes, if only I didn't have this problem of her being a good friend: maybe I just think (based also on the fact that I somewhat like her) she is looking for me, whereas maybe that's just her way of behaving.

I think it is clear we haven't had any kind of official date, like "Hey, do you want to eat something random with me?" kind of thing. But as said, sometimes we do stuff together, so it is not like we don't have close contacts at all.

What do you guys suggest? 

I think she knows I am interested as well, I tried to make her understand that. In any case, Flirting advice given the circumstances?

Edited by DawnOfReality

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Ask her "Do you have feelings for me ?"

You'll see what you need to see in her eyes in the first 0.5 second.

Edited by Shin

God is love

Whoever lives in love lives in God

And God in them

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42 minutes ago, ElenaO said:

Just give it a shot and ask her out.

I was considering that but I am hesitating because I don't wanna mess up till I am sure. I know why you are saying that to me and I understand: that way I would be sure of her intentions right away; just it ain't so easy for me yet. How could I investigate that little more I need without overstep it? 

 

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1 hour ago, DawnOfReality said:

I was considering that but I am hesitating because I don't wanna mess up till I am sure. I know why you are saying that to me and I understand: that way I would be sure of her intentions right away; just it ain't so easy for me yet. How could I investigate that little more I need without overstep it? 

 

You'll never know for sure, just do it.

Edited by Shin

God is love

Whoever lives in love lives in God

And God in them

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I'll see what I can do during this week. I'll try to flirt a lil bit more to see how she reacts. If  she allows me to do so, I'll ask her out! 

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Omg. Okay. You are saying that you are confident guy and you are minding your own business and you dont care so much about others and that you dont have problems talking to girls BUUUUUT you still haven't talked to her. Is this a joke? Be serious If you want this and take steps right away. I think that you are not taking that so seriously,it seems you're not so confident,and If you dont care,just risk it and If she reject you that is totally fine. Go!

Edited by egoeimai

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57 minutes ago, egoeimai said:

Omg. Okay. You are saying that you are confident guy and you are minding your own business and you dont care so much about others and that you dont have problems talking to girls BUUUUUT you still haven't talked to her. Is this a joke? Be serious If you want this and take steps right away. I think that you are not taking that so seriously,it seems you're not so confident,and If you dont care,just risk it and If she reject you that is totally fine. Go!

I get you, but at least for me being confident doesn't necessarily mean taking risks. I am probably over-thinking it to understand what is the success ratio, considering I could have something to lose (a very good friendship, that might still be friendship but with a weird background of facts). But yeah, I'll do as you guys suggest. 

Btw I am careless in the sense that I don't have problems of any kind in terms of what others could think of me trying with her. Obviously I care of how SHE sees me, so you might say THIS is a not so confident point in my story, which is honestly true. 

 

Edited by DawnOfReality

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Just pull your dick out and start to make helicopter move with it.

Like someone said, you will see in 0.5 seconds in her eyes if she is interested.

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4 minutes ago, Richard Alpert said:

Just pull your dick out and start to make helicopter move with it.

Like someone said, you will see in 0.5 seconds in her eyes if she is interested.

AHAHAHAAH. More like "Slap her with that cock!" :P

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Call her now and ask her if you can meet, then ask her about her feelings,

 

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW !

 

 

Edited by Shin

God is love

Whoever lives in love lives in God

And God in them

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8 minutes ago, Shin said:

Call her now and ask her if you can meet, then ask her about her feelings,

 

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW !

 

 

You are hyping me up buddy. IMMA FUCKING DO IT! Face to face though, tomorrow is the day >:(

Edited by DawnOfReality

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NOT TOMORROW, NOW, DON'T BE A PUSSY !!!!!!!!!!

Edited by Shin

God is love

Whoever lives in love lives in God

And God in them

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5 minutes ago, Shin said:

NOT TOMORROW, NOW, DON'T BE A PUSSY !!!!!!!!!!

AHAHAHA you guys are killing me ahahahaha

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Just now, DawnOfReality said:

AHAHAHA you guys are killing me ahahahaha

I'm not joking, it's not like she's gonna refuse to see you on a sunday if you tell her it's important.

You're friends right ? She won't refuse to see you.


God is love

Whoever lives in love lives in God

And God in them

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10 minutes ago, egoeimai said:

But Is it a priority in your life?????

What makes you believe that you want this???

He made a 34 lines post about it.

 


God is love

Whoever lives in love lives in God

And God in them

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15 minutes ago, Shin said:

I'm not joking, it's not like she's gonna refuse to see you on a sunday if you tell her it's important.

You're friends right ? She won't refuse to see you.

I know you ain't. And I am being honest when I say that you are right. But as you might know, knowing that something is right, that doesn't mean it is easy or straight-forward. Here is 2.30 pm already and we live quite far from each other. Tomorrow I've got lectures anyway, will have time to talk to her. But I appreciate the motivation you are giving me. I don't know if it will be tomorrow or next week, but FOR SURE my attitude will be different after having read what you had to say. :) 

But no really, if y'all think it is simple to "just do it", this forum wouldn't exist. I will take inspiration and try to switch mentality from over-thinking to "just do it" for sure but realistically in a gradual manner. Never been an instinct guy: I always consider PROs and CONs of pretty much everything and look for a way to balance them and I am (unluckily maybe, but still that's how it is... that is the reason why I am looking for advice) doing just the same in this situation.

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