DawnOfReality

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About DawnOfReality

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  • Birthday 07/13/1997

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    Italy
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  1. Slippery elm juice or pills can do as well?
  2. @Space Thank you for your insights. Well, I've been into that for a while, at least 2 years. Been journaling, thinking and... It became a neurosis. Because I could not figure it out. Like if there was something to figure out. I ws trying to find the perfect path, being a perfectionist, and didn't come to any real conclusion by that. Surely writing has helped me with lots of things, so it is not in the method, rather in my mindset going into it. Ego-driven, wanting a path that would allow me results and achievements and freedom and deep satisfaction. I am kind of recovering now from that and I tend to be very alert not to fall in the same pit. What I found by working a 9-5 job now is that in the end I'd like to work on something more exciting like research, that is, working on something new. That's why I have the choice to keep my studies going. The question is: in what field? THat I don't know. I have too many interest and kinda feel stuck with deciding one and having to give up others. And as far as my initial question is concerned, given that I'm still not sure of what to pursue academically, and given the pandemic situation, what would be better for the next year to do? Anyway, I'll try journaling a bit more on it following your advice. I haven't tried writing what I don't want. Although seems overwhelming as a task: there are many things we don't want, far more than we probably do Just being curious: have you found what you want in the end? UPDATE: I got accepted by the university. Now I will have to make my decision! Holy crap, sounds heavy to do D:
  3. @Space This is from where my questions stems, essentially. I still don't know what I want for sure and... that is why I am really indecisive about going on with my studies right away, because I don't know to what commit myself to just yet. I am sure knowing that would help giving me a direction. Just one note: I tried to look for my life purpose but it didn't work out quite yet. I find much more peace thinking that there isn't a predetermined purpose for me that I must uncover in some way, more like go with the flow and adjust, following and applying some gentle force towards the direction that feels right in that moment. Those adjustments become my choices now, which I am unsure. Hence I was trying to look at the situation as objectively as possible. @Galyna In my opinion, if you think that getting that M.Sc is what you want, if you clearly feel it, then go for it no matter what. This is what your true self wants, when you clearly feel something. Statistics should not hold you back. Learn it annd enjoy it as much as possible. If things get tough so much that you can't bare it anymore just swallow it, it will be stressful but getting there is what you really want and you must pass through some things that you don't completely like, or even hate. The only thing I disagree with is that thing of being golden after the M.Sc. In my experience, I can clearly tell that this kind of thinking is really... egoic and a delusion. You can be golden now, at this right moment, too. In fact, you are. I tend to stay away from that type of thoughts, because it usually happens that I get to my ego-goal, and then I set myself out to pursue another one, and another one, and another one. Never really enjoying getting to it.... Which means most of my time is lost, just thinking of the goal and doing the process whilst lost in thought. Anyway, I might generalise here. Maybe not your case! But yes, do it! When you know it, it's way simpler I find. It's when you don't know it that things are unclear and you kinda feel lost. @Onemanwolfpac The reason I am pondering the possibility to keep on working for a while is due to that specifically. Nobody is hiring. Seems valuable to have a job. Regarding curiosity, sure, I am curious and have lots of interests, but I am struggling to choose clearly at this point in time. ANd sadly I had no twinkling of my purpose yet. I was involved in this sort of fake personality during my years that now I have to re-discover what I truly love, and what I actually don't enjoy that much after all, and forced myself to.
  4. Hi there! I'm dealing with a dilemma during these tough days and I would love to get some external insights, as far as possible, to help me better evaluate the situation. First off, I am currently dealing with university (bachelors in Physics) burnout recovery and pretty strong chronic anxiety, mostly due to perfectionism. I am tackling it with the help of a therapist and by doing spiritual work on myself and things are slowly but surely getting better. That being said, on the point now. I am currently smart-working as an IT conselour intern for a multinational company, with a pretty decent salary (being an internship). Also the growth opportunity is pretty great. Problem is: I don't really enjoy the job that much, and feels pretty much wasted time. But the pay is great and the job isn't that demanding which allows me to possibly have plenty of time to do side-stuff, as well as to recover from my psychological instability (no rushes, no highly stressing situations which would take me back to my previous neurotic state of mind). But I am also pondering the possibility to obtain a M.Sc degree with the intention to enter a research position somewhere, since I would like to find and create something new and meaningful rather than just working for money on by doing maintanance and support for IT systems. I still don't know what to do though, in what direction to pursue my Master degree and this research for the perfect path was one of the motives for my psychological breakdown which I am now beginning to overcome. At this stage, I am a candidate for the most important business school in my country and I am very likely to pass the tests and enroll in the course of Data Science. It felt interesting when I started the process of enrollment, although after my job experience my views changed a bit and now it is not as appeling as it was before. I was never sure about this path though, as I was with none anyway. I miss the idea of being able to do research and innovation rather that merely a highly classified and paid job as it would be for a data scientist (still, I am wondering if it's not just my perfectionism in action and maybe I should just take this opportunity which surely mustn't be taken for granted). My dilemma is: with all this coronavirus crisis during which many are losing their jobs, having a job as I do seems to be such a great opportunity in itself, even a blessing. Materialistically, money made now would be worth much more than if this virus didn't show up, since my salary isn't gonna change at all and I am able to "relax" (realtively speaking to my uni experience which was a non-stop trying to be the best and super productive kind of life) and save some money for another year. BUT I don't really enjoy the job. It kinda feels like a wasted year at a more personal level. At the same time, I haven't found what I would like to do with my life yet. Possibly, with the work I am doing with my therapist I could get some more insights during this time, also by removing ego layers which are the source of most of my decisions (or indecisions?). But I feel the pressure of "losing" another year. It seems like I am in hurry to get somewhere. Wouldn't I be late to get a Master? I am 23 currently. it would mean to start a M.Sc at 24. But would it be worth it to just choose some "random" university career because I just feel the pressure of time rather than letting my real self take the decision when it will be the right time, and enjoy my decision? Or, as said above, am I just doubting myself? What do you guys think? With these dark times, would you keep the job, keeping in mind how valuable it might be on a material standpoint, or would you go further your education, in spite of some indecisiveness? How will jobs and students/graduates be influenced by the approaching crisis? Adaptability seems to be of the utmost importance now, more than ever. Thank you, much love
  5. Hi, I'll start by saying that I don't know much about business. Now, a relative of mine who is a director of a Russian firm has asked me to help him out with a deal. Let me explain better: I live in Italy and his firm buys a particular product needed for producing his own devices from an Italian firm. The latter leans on a Russian distributor to furnish his products in Russia. The problem is that the deal cannot be closed unless a minimum amount of pieces has been requested. So he asked me to help him find some firm or people who can buy monthly the number of pieces he needs so that he could send his couriers and pick those up. He needs a bypass (legal of course). I have contacted some import-export firms, but they only provide an export service and cannot or don't want to buy the products. So my questions are: 1) Are there any firms (called with a generic name) who can mediate for this kind of deal? I mean, import-exports cannot do that apprently, so I am not sure what should I look for. 2) Maybe I need a private (not a firm or company, that is) who has capital and is willing to that for me? But could he? I mean, there are surely regulations that one must be aware of about buying and selling again, especially if those products must be taken out of borders.. If I find someone who could buy those pieces of equipment, and my relative sends his couriers, these could take charge of all the border burocracy? 3) There could be other solutions? 4) Are there more specific forums or places I could ask for some advice about this? I hope there are knowledgeable people here as well, but I understand this is a very specific question! Just thought I could give it a shot. If anything, I can still be learning something from all this. Thank you guys.
  6. Thank you, this answer helped and will help me a great deal. I'll try and come back if I'll feel I need some more advice
  7. Thank you all for your replies. The response of @Nahm is certainly very deep and something I must humbly say that I still did not get to the point of understanding it fully. I thought about this leap of faith, and even rationally, when thinking of all the good reasons to stay relaxed and calm instead of stressing out... It doesn't click. As you say, even without telling me why, this neuroses is preventing me from taking the leap. Maybe I should do some visualizations or affirmations to make my mind see that being free of negative thoughts will be beneficial in all possible ways?
  8. Hello, lately I noticed that most of my negative mental patterns (I think A LOT and can't really seem to stop at times) are related to these fundamental belief that negative thoughts or behaviours are important for me in some fundamental way which I can't really understand for the most parts. For example: Being a student, managing mental health is important in my life, and a must-do. This should mean, in my understanding, being relaxed, keep calm when exams dates approach and especially being collected during the tests to ensure that all goes well. BUT my mind keeps telling me and convincing me that stress (which drove me to insanity one month ago, to the point that I collpased and even cried in desperation and hopelessness) is good and I must not completely let go of thoughts that tell me that exams might go badly, or that time is ticking and I must hurry, that stress is good for some reasons (this last one probably due to the fact that I've always been told that some stress or fear can increase peformance.. although my stress levels are at a point which make me perform rather poorly, but despite that I cannot let go!). All that even though I know that being calm and tranquil make me think clearer and recall information better, performing better overall. I think I found the cause of all that (which extends also to other aspects of my life): I believe that if you don't experience bad things as well, you are missing something in life, you are giving up some possible experiences that make your life fuller. Evidently I don't want to let go of drama: I understood this but I don't know how to get rid of this crippling belief. Could you help me? Thank you
  9. Hi there! So, I am still trying to figure out what my purpose is in life, and I am trying to explore a bit various domains in order to see, touch things and try so that I can keep that process of discovery alive (I guess that if I keep asking myself the question "Would I like to ********?" and can't think of an answer that isn't "Idk", this should be my first step). Nontheless, I am pursuing a degree in Physics that I do not like that much. I decided to finish it anyway, because I have just one year left. But in my studies, if there's one thing that keeps me from completely giving up is Math. I kinda like Math when I do it, but... Whenever I think of a future job or any life experience, Math is not there. I like it, but it is the exact opposite of a life full of good experiences and emotions that I look forward to. It is cold, tends to rationalize everything and I fear the possibility of becoming a cold person if I get myself into TOO much Math. So, for example, I was thinking of a possible alternative to Physics, Finance. Finance has much more to do with the living world whereas Physics is on its own, inside labs. But in Finance Math is very well used. Something in my mind keeps me from appreciating it 100% just because Math is in it. I thought about this issue (that seems much like a limiting belief in some ways) and it turned out that in my vision of the world, I can't see how Math fits in. It looks to me like an artificial thing, that is detached from the real, warm human life, and I can't see its place in a more spiritual view. So I wanted to ask if you could give me your vision of Math related to everything else or some suggestions for books that might give me a better idea of what Math is for the world. Thank you!
  10. It all comes down to what is that you really want to achieve in life. You can realise yourself spiritually through "mundane, materialistic" work and that means that you are willing to work hard for it because you know that is your life purpose. You can enjoy life through work if done consciously, if you are not forced to do it and matches your true being. So I don't quite agree. You can be present in your work, if you truly enjoy it
  11. Just a quick note: As you go through it, think of it constantly. During your day. While you work, while you study, while you read, when you fail and when you succeed. Especially the theory part, IT MUST GET INTO YOUR BRAIN, YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS. That's the only way to make a behavioural change as someone said here. I found that in practice you might not discover precisely what your purpose is, it depends much on who you are and what your life is/has been. But if you change your behaviour based on those insights that make absolutely sense, stuff will start to happen. YOu'll start to recognise those patterns that Leo is teaching you. You'll start to see how everything plays out. And keep, keep, keep looking at the world with those eyes. That builds up a successful mindset. I still gotta go through Purpose Assessment, as I have been working and grinding hard on those values, to make them the most authentic possible. But I must tell you: I worked much harder on changing the way I think of life. And now I know what to do, and I see how most things started to play out in my favour, because now I subconsciously know how to exploit life situations to make progress on this path. Half course and I am already in the Hero Journey if you wish. Change your mind and be patient.
  12. 04/10/2017 - VERY GOOD Slept not too well, woke up lil bit tired. MORNING ROUTINE: learnt new pieces of workout. Little to no meditation. I need a more consistent way of meditate. I'll use Leo's guided meditation from tomorrow for 2 weeks. EVENING ROUTINE: choose tomorrow's outfit. Journal and think about what you have to do in the following days, and plan tomorrow. I must keep working on myself along-side my studies. Need to balance the two and plan around the first one which is definitely more important atm. Can't work on LP while commuting without distractions. Do LP work at home and during the journey study or revise notes. Plan 2 hours of studying daily and rest dedicate to yourself. On weekends plan a couple of hours to research stuff secondary stuff (more workouts ideas, body-care etc.) and work a consistent time on how to take effective notes and ways to learn better. SMALL STEPS TO FIX MY CURRENT CHANGES --> Routines and way of organizing my life-style.
  13. 03/10/2017 - EXCELLENT Today was brilliant. New workout, Amazing! Could not get to the end, but this will keep me busy for a while, the time my body will need to keep up with it. So now my morning routine is set. Just gotta keep it up and I am on the way to build a deep grounded healthy habit. Creativity in dressing: I thought about a possible combination that looked great in my mind's eye, something I would never ever come up with. Pull it off and it was terrific. Felt comfortable with myself, neat and clean. That boosted my confidence and gave me satisfaction since I am not a creative guy and this was definitely a creativity flash. And day went pretty smooth. Had fun with my fellows in Uni and also studied a bit. As I got back home, I worked on my Life Purpose for 2 hours straight in full concentration. Almost done refining my values. In some days I'll be able to keep going with it. THOUGHTS: Too much self-concern. I am always worrying about my look. I mean, I am definitely improving but it is sometimes a very obsessive way of doing. I am noticing it strongly. STYLE PINPOINT: clothing that fits is the ultimate solution. LIFE PURPOSE AND PERSPECTIVE: I am very much concerned with how people are taught stuff. The way of teaching these days is spoiling the natural potential of all human beings. As an IMPACT IDEA I would like to contribute to the rise of a new type of education based around personal development (first thing first, learning how to learn) and spirituality (meditation especially) to boost the natural abilities of the individuals. This way people would get much more involved in the subject, with higher efficiency and quality results without getting alienated by constraints of society and without the pressure of studying for marks. I find very noble the act of teaching and I value (possible new authentic VALUE?!) very much effective ways of teaching that aim more to the comprehension, in depth, of a concept rather than mere lists of data. I still can't figure out whether I value simplicity or being rigorous in teaching. Is it possible to make both? How should it be done? EXPLORATION PROCESS: I am feeling lost. Having started University again, my interest has risen quite a bit, whereas I thought I was a lost cause just few days ago. I need to figure out if it would be helpful to keep studying while pursuing my true life purpose alongside. Learning is still part of me, and Physics definitely represents a good field of potential research on personal development. My concern is that I might not be truly interested in the subjects themselves. And as for now, I don't feel like it is my path, although I find some things quite enterteining to study, and fun. My idea was to explore all values (and even some not in my top 10 but in which I could have an interest) by writing down a specific action so that I could gain some knowledge on that matter and see if it could interest me for real. SIMPLICITY OF THE UNIVERSE: is the Universe simple to understand? Is rationality a good way to explore it? or it is just an illusion of knowledge? and if it is not, how can we get, by what means can we get to the core of it, to fully understand it? I don't think math is a solution. You don't experience it. That is why sometimes, despite loving it, it bothers me so much.. PARETO PRINCIPLE: I can't afford to lose all my time on studies this semester. I must have at least a half-decent plan for next year ready by December. Cut the probably useless details and go for the big stuff, by fully understanding it. If you fully understand it, you are good to go. Those details can be gathered later if needed.
  14. This. This is underrate by people. Practice this and your life will sky rocket.
  15. 02/10/2017 - Monday Yesterday has been a pretty relaxed day. Friends coming up to have a party for my bro's BD. So could not find the time to update this. Nothing important happened. Morning routine DONE. Evening, not been able to. TODAY Morning routine DONE; Evening routine DONE I am feeling hard to put the evening routine in place. I am always half asleep at this time. And I go to bed early as I gotta wake up early. It felt like my plan for the morning was not clear enough. I needed a real workout plan, for a beginner, but that was complete and would require 30 mins. So as I got back from Uni, I started to look up and wrote it down. I am feeling excited to take action on it. I'll definitely have more energy and my body will feel better and nicer in the days to come. I am way too obsessed with my clothing. Most of my pieces are over-sized and I am always trying to make it fit perfectly to look good and elegant. But that can't work perfectly as they are not meant for my kind of body. I should take them to a tailor or just live with it and improve my closet buying clothes that actually fit. First day of Uni. I gotta talk with Prf. Paolo. Tell him about me not being inspired in keeping up on this track. I either need to find some inspiration by talking to someone or reading some books, or just take a break and use that time to explore a bit. *I am feeling kinda dissatisfied with what I am writing right now. It feels like I am forcing it to write something; like if I am writing this to somebody.* I need to schedule my time giving LP course my priority. Every day at least 2 hours a day. This work is my primary concern this semester. I'll try to keep it going for some days, maybe is just the change of medium that bothers me a bit. I must get used to keeping a digital journal. Paper still there if it does not look like I'll feel better about it.